by Claire Kent
“Do you have any broken bones?”
He started to shake his head but then admitted, “A couple of cracked ribs maybe.”
She made a frustrated noise in her throat. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”
“What are you—”
“I said stay here.”
When she left his room to hurry down the halls of the Residence, she felt the almost irresistible urge to wring his neck.
What kind of stupid, stubborn man would just sit there in pain when he could do something to feel better?
What the hell was wrong with Desh?
When she reached the med unit, she asked to borrow a handheld medical device—an all-purpose unit that could deal with most injuries—and on her way back to Desh’s room, she felt less annoyed and more concerned.
Desh wasn’t just being stubborn.
He’d almost lost the fight earlier when he shouldn’t have.
Something really must be going on with him.
When he let her back into his room, he hadn’t moved from the chair. She went over and started running the device over his body, starting with his head. It mended the torn skin in just a few seconds and then took longer to work on the cracked ribs.
It even had a setting to make a person unconscious. If Desh was too frustrating, she might be tempted to use it on him.
He was going to be covered with bruises, but even technology couldn’t do much to fix that.
Desh sat in stiff silence as she worked over him, but she saw his posture change as his wounds were mended and the pain was relieved.
When she was done at last, she put the med device on the table and went to rinse out the cloth she’d been using earlier.
After rewetting it, she started rubbing it over his skin again, cleaning off the remaining blood and the dried sweat on his face and body.
She felt shaky and strangely tender as she cleaned him up.
When the silence became too deep, she said, “See? If you’d just gone to the med unit right away, you could have felt better in fifteen minutes instead of being in pain for hours.”
His blue eyes held hers in the mirror. “The injuries weren’t that bad,” he said hoarsely.
“But they were still injuries. Why shouldn’t you make them better?”
“I’ve had far worse before, on planets without med devices.”
Her eyes widened. “So what? So just because you’ve suffered before, you have to suffer now?”
He broke her gaze, staring blindly at a spot across the room.
As her words lingered in the silence, she suddenly realized they were true.
They were entirely true.
Desh did feel like he was supposed to suffer.
Part of him even wanted it.
He’d spent years depriving himself of the most basic kinds of comforts, depriving himself of sex, of any sort of pleasure.
He wanted to suffer.
“Desh,” she whispered, on the verge of tears. He was mostly clean now, and the physical pain was obviously gone, but he looked haunted, broken, lonely.
She reached out for him instinctively.
“Don’t,” he muttered, easing away from her hands.
She stared at him for a long time, trying to figure out what she should do, what she could do.
Finally she asked softly, “What happened in the fight this evening?”
He let out a breath and turned his head to meet her gaze again. He gave a very slight shrug. “I… I lost focus.”
She didn’t know what to say to that, so she just stood staring at him, shaking slightly.
After a minute, he went on, “I knew better, but I lost focus. My mind was on… something else.”
She suddenly understood why he kept pulling away from her. “On me? Was it… my fault?”
“It wasn’t your fault. It was my fault. I shouldn’t have… let myself take what I wanted.”
“What? You think because you had sex you somehow lost focus? That’s crazy, Desh.”
“It’s not crazy, Talia. That’s exactly what happened.” He stood up and met her eyes evenly, looking strangely hard, strangely cool. “I knew better than to indulge myself, but I did it anyway. And I almost lost everything because of it.”
She clenched her hands at her sides. “What do you mean you lost everything? You won the fight, and surely this Tournament isn’t the most important thing anyway. What about you? What about what’s good for you?”
“What’s good for me is to do what I’m here for.”
“And what’s that?”
He kept looking at her but didn’t answer.
“Desh?” she prompted. “What is it? What’s so important about this stupid Tournament that it’s worth suffering for, denying yourself everything for?”
“It’s not the Tournament. That’s not why I’m here.”
“Then why are you here?”
He opened his mouth like he would answer, but then he seemed to recall himself. He jerked slightly and turned away from her.
Then he took a couple of steps away and sat down on the edge of the bed, suddenly looking very young, very vulnerable.
Talia was almost in tears, and she couldn’t have explained why. She went over to the bed to sit beside him. “Desh, please talk to me. Why are you here, if it’s not for the Tournament? What’s more important than you being happy?”
He didn’t reply. He didn’t even look at her.
At the end of her patience, she reached out and turned his head so she could see his expression. “Desh, tell me. Why do you think you always need to suffer? Why won’t you let yourself feel good?”
They stared at each other with a strange intensity, and then suddenly something broke inside Desh. She saw it happen. His features twisted briefly, and he made a rough sound in his throat.
Then he was leaning into her, taking her head in his hands.
He kissed her.
He kissed her so urgently that he pushed her down onto the bed.
She’d never been kissed before—not really and definitely not like this. Her job was sex, and kissing had never been part of it. But she kissed him back immediately, instinctively. There was no way she could stop herself. She tangled her fingers in his thick hair, still damp from sweat and the wet cloth she’d wiped his face and neck with. She opened her mouth as his tongue nudged at her lips, and she moaned as the kiss and the weight of his body generated all kinds of tingling pleasure.
Her tongue played with his as arousal tightened between her legs. He was hard against her. Already. She rocked up into his erection, loving that he was so eager for her, that it took so little to turn him on.
“Oh fuck, Talia,” Desh breathed, finally breaking the kiss to nuzzle at the hollow of her neck. “What are you doing to me?”
The helpless question just made her even more needy, more excited. She arched up into his body, running her fingernails down his bare back. He was hot and damp and smelled like effort. He filled her senses.
He lifted up enough to fumble at her clothes until he’d untied her tunic. He stared down at her hotly for a moment before he lowered his face to one of her breasts. He teased it with his lips and tongue until she was crying out helplessly. Then he moved to the other one, suckling until she couldn’t hold still. She squirmed and moaned and clawed at his back.
When she couldn’t take any more erotic torture, she undid his trousers and reached inside so she could find his cock. He gasped and jerked against her as she wrapped her hands around him.
“Talia,” he rasped, closing his eyes. “What are you doing to me?”
It was the same question he’d asked before. He was rocking his hips slightly into her hands, but he wasn’t making any further advances. A flicker of worry caused her to ask, “Do you… do you want this?”
“I want it more than anything.” The admission seemed to be ripped out of him, and he finally opened his eyes. “I want you so much.”
She groaned in relief and spread her legs farther to
make room for him. She was very wet, very aroused, and she desperately needed to feel him inside her. She helped him align his erection at her entrance and then bent up her knees as he started to edge himself inside her.
“Oh fuck,” he moaned as the penetration deepened. He was holding himself up on straightened arms above her, and his face was twisting in obvious pleasure.
She bent her knees up even more so she could feel him more deeply, and she dug her fingernails into the back of his neck. She rolled her hips, and he groaned again.
His responses were raw, helpless, uninhibited.
Utterly genuine.
She loved that she could make him feel so good.
He held himself tensely above her, not moving his hips, so she wrapped her legs high around his back and lowered her hands to his firm ass.
She rocked her hips up into him a few times until he started to thrust.
His motion was fast, urgent, uncontrolled, and it felt so good she arched her neck and cried out her pleasure. She moved with him, squeezing around him on every thrust.
“That’s right,” she heard herself panting after a minute. “Faster. Harder. Take me harder. Desh, please!”
The bed was attached to the wall, but they were shaking the mattress vigorously. She could hear their flesh slapping together, and the rawness of it intensified her pleasure.
Desh was grunting like an animal now, his eyes fierce as they gazed down at her. He’d finally let himself go, and all the passion and effort he’d controlled for so long was pouring into this one carnal act.
She felt her pussy clamping down as an orgasm hit her unexpectedly, and she choked on a loud cry as her body shook and spasmed. Desh gave a strangled exclamation as she squeezed around him, but he didn’t stop fucking her. He pushed into her even harder, his grunts so loud they were almost shouts.
Then he was coming too, his face contorting and his body jerking clumsily as it rode out the spasms.
He’d obviously come hard, so hard it took everything he had. After his final bellow of release, he collapsed on top of her.
She held him with her arms and her legs, her body still making little aftershocks of pleasure as it relaxed.
They were both gasping loudly in the otherwise silent room, and Talia was so hot and damp that she thought she might melt.
Her body felt so incredibly good.
And so did her heart.
So did her heart.
She didn’t want to let Desh go.
Eventually, however, her legs started to cramp up, so she carefully unwound them and stretched them out.
Desh moaned as his softened cock slipped out of her with a sound of wet suction. He finally lifted his weight off her as he rolled over onto his back, still panting unevenly.
She stroked his chest gently, and he turned his head to meet her eyes.
“It’s okay for you to feel good sometimes,” she murmured.
“I don’t know.” He shook his head slowly. “But there’s no way I can help myself with you. You… shatter me.”
She didn’t know what to say to that.
He shattered her too.
Finally she said, “If you really think I’m not good for you, I don’t have to come to your room anymore.”
“You have to come,” he said thickly. “I can’t do without you anymore.”
She smiled. She couldn’t help it.
No one had ever felt that way about her before.
Five
Very late the following evening, Talia stretched out on Desh’s bed, feeling relaxed and tired and a little sore.
Really good.
Really pleased with herself.
She was lying on her stomach, and she raised herself up on her arms enough to see over Desh’s body to the console on the wall, which had beeped.
“You have a message,” she said when she saw which light was blinking on the console.
Desh was lounging on his back, completely naked and with the covers pushed down to his waist. He gave her a lazy smile. “I’ll check it later. It won’t be important.”
“How do you know?”
“I don’t have anyone important who would be trying to contact me.” He said the words with the easy nonchalance that spoke of living a long time on his own.
He wasn’t a hard man. At all. She couldn’t help but wonder why he was so completely alone.
Clearly unconcerned about the message, he reached over and trailed his fingertips down the line of her spine. She was as naked as he was. She’d even taken off her boots tonight. When he reached the small of her back, he lingered, brushing up and down the deep curve there. His eyes followed the motion of his hand.
“What is it?” she asked after a minute, starting to feel self-conscious at his lingering gaze, although his touch was light and pleasant.
“You are so beautiful,” Desh murmured. “I love this spot right here.”
She looked over her shoulder and tried to see the place on her body he was referring to. The dip just before the upward slope of her ass. “Uh, that’s not normally the part of my body men most like to leer at.”
“Then other men are crazy. It’s absolutely delectable.” He pulled the blanket down that had been covering her bottom, and his hand moved to cup one of the cheeks. “Of course, I love other parts of your body too.”
Something about his expression was making her chest clench. It wasn’t lust she saw in him right now. It wasn’t desire as she understood it.
It was warm and soft and genuine. Real appreciation.
She wasn’t used to it.
She wasn’t sure how to respond to it.
Her cheeks flushed hotly, and she gave him a smile she hoped was seductive. His hand moved farther down and squeezed the back of her thighs, just under her butt.
“Now I know that’s not the most attractive part of my body,” she said, trying to break the tension in her chest with irony.
His eyes shot up to her face. “Why not?”
“Why not? Because there’s a lot of extra fat there. I can’t tell you how many times the others have told me never to take off my boots so my thighs can stay hidden.”
“But that’s ridiculous! Your thighs are incredibly sexy. All of you is gorgeous.” His hand slid back up to caress her bottom, like he couldn’t stop touching her.
He really seemed to mean what he said. “Well, thank you. But I’ve heard differently many times.”
Desh frowned. “Why would they say things like that to you? Even if your thighs weren’t perfect, there’s nothing you could do about it. It just seems mean.”
“It’s not mean. The others are trying to help. Most of them anyway. I’m still really new at this, and it does help to get advice from others.”
“So they… so they give you advice on how to have sex?”
“Of course. Why wouldn’t they?”
“I don’t know. It seems a little uncomfortable to me.”
She chuckled and rolled over onto her side, pulling up the sheet to her waist. Desh’s eyes moved immediately to her bare breasts, and he didn’t seem to mind her repositioning. “It seems uncomfortable to you because you take sex personally. It’s not personal to us. It’s our job. So of course we need some help in how to do it better.”
He was frowning again. “What kind of help do they give you?”
“Mostly just advice on how to handle certain kinds of partners and how men behave and what moves work best on them.”
Desh cleared his throat. “So did you… you use their advice on me?”
She couldn’t read his expression very well, so she didn’t know what he wanted to hear. Not knowing anything else to say, she told him the truth. “Not really. Well, some obvious stuff they told me at the beginning, about how to do a good blow job. But I’ve never really gotten any advice about sex when… when I enjoy it.”
A little smile was starting to play around the corners of his mouth. “Is that right?”
“Yes, that’s right. I’ve never enjoyed it
before. Does that make you feel special?”
He leaned over to brush her lips lightly with his. “Yes,” he murmured. “It does.”
She couldn’t help but smile against his mouth.
“So what was it like?” Desh asked in a different tone, pulling back and reclining again. “When you started working here? Was it hard for you?”
She thought about the question for a minute before she answered. No one had ever asked her anything like it before. “I… I guess it was. I had no idea what I was doing. I was completely clueless.”
“Clueless about sex?”
“Yes. Well, I knew what it was. We lived in a very small cottage in my home village, without very much privacy. I knew what sex was. But it was always something done in quiet in the dark, and I’d never done it myself.”
“You were a virgin when you came here?” His voice was different, strangely breathless.
It made Talia feel… uncomfortable.
“Yes, I was a virgin. That’s part of why I was chosen. Some men prefer virgins.”
“So they just sent you off with some old perv when you’d never even had sex before?”
“It wasn’t like that. He wasn’t a mean man. It was… Well, it didn’t feel good. It kind of hurt, but they’d told me to expect that. It wasn’t traumatic or anything, so you don’t need to look so horrified. They’re careful about who they let the new girls pair up with. They don’t want us to get hurt. I was fine with it. I did the best I could, and he seemed pleased with it, so I figured it was a success. Don’t make me feel like I… I should feel bad about it.”
She was talking too much, and her voice was breaking a little. She didn’t know why his expression was making her feel this way.
“I don’t want you to feel bad, Talia. I really don’t. I just don’t like the idea of your being hurt.”
“I wasn’t hurt. I’m telling you I wasn’t. I wanted this job. I wanted to do it. You know, I used to stay awake at night when I was a girl and imagine a different life—one where I could have a room of my own and pretty clothes and grapes to eat.”
“Grapes?”
“Yes, real grapes. Not replicated stuff. An old man I knew from my village would let me look at his books. Once, he’d managed to get his hands on some real grapes, and he gave me eight of them. I’d never tasted anything like them. I dreamed of them afterward. When I was seventeen, I had a choice about how I would spend my life. I could stay on that world and be a wife to someone I didn’t like and never have… anything. Or I could come here—and have the chance at things I never could have gotten otherwise. Do you think I’m wrong for choosing this?”