by Robyn Roze
“How long were you cheating on me?” she asked in a monotone voice. His breathing hitched before he sighed resignedly and then looked away, pinching the bridge of his nose and dragging his hand down his tired face.
“Shay, what’s done is done. I can’t change any of it,” he said remorsefully.
Shayna puffed softly at his candor. “I’m well aware of that. In fact, I’m the only one that seems to understand it.” They stared unflinchingly at one another. “How. Long,” she repeated.
Frank swallowed loudly and the tension stiffened his back. His chest expanded and he released a tormented breath. “A year or so.”
Shayna was certain she must have doubled over from the punch to her gut. She tried to restart her breathing, never taking her eyes from his.
“Exactly a year or longer than a year?” she bit out.
Frank closed his eyes and shook his head somberly. “Longer,” he pushed out in a pained voice.
“Year and half?” she asked falteringly. He wouldn’t look at her. “Two years?” He shook his head in reply. “More than a year and half but less than two. Am I understanding you?” she choked out, as her heart jackhammered against her chest. He wouldn’t make eye contact with her and remained still. “Jesus Christ,” she whispered involuntarily, as a wave of nausea washed through her. “Oh my God. You were fucking both of us the whole time! Looking me in the eyes that whole fucking time!”
She saw the shock on Frank’s face. Shayna Montgomery rarely dropped the f-bomb, but when she did—look out. Frank moved toward her in a motion of silence.
“Oh, go to hell, Frank! You think everybody doesn’t already know about this? The only person who doesn’t, or pretends not to, is Danielle.” She gulped in deep, unsteady breaths. “I must’ve been a huge punch line with our friends. They probably all knew, didn’t they? They must have.” She shook her head in disbelief and renewed humiliation. “I was the idiot that didn’t know! Didn’t see! The laughingstock!”
She quickly grabbed her clutch and began to slide around the table and out of the booth. Frank slid out his side and agilely positioned himself in front of her so that she couldn’t escape so easily.
“Get out of my way, Frank!”
“Shayna, lower your voice and calm down. You’re too angry to go anywhere right now,” Frank warned, in a wary tone.
Shayna’s eyes narrowed and her chest expanded in fury. “What’s the matter Frank? Am I embarrassing you for a change?” She felt as if she was breathing fire into her lungs.
“Sweetheart, please,” he whispered imploringly. “You need to get this out, you deserve to, I know, but not here. We can go somewhere else. You can yell and scream all you want—somewhere else,” he said in a more commanding tone.
“Fuck you, Frank!” She pushed at him to get out of her way and he dropped to his knees in surrender.
To. His. Knees.
She gawked at him and his ridiculous, meaningless display, with utter mortification.
“Get up, Frank,” she spat out.
“I said I’d do whatever it takes. I meant it. If you need me to grovel, I will,” he choked out roughly.
Shayna was acutely aware of the world inside the restaurant coming to a standstill as all eyes focused on them in a heavy hushed silence. She could already hear the gossipmongers licking their chops. Poor Frank Chastain. So contrite. So ruined by the divorce. Trying everything possible to right his wrongs. But that bitch of an ex-wife just won’t let him.
She was beyond livid with his show, his open manipulation.
Shayna leaned down closer to his contrite face and hissed, “You’d better get some knee pads, Frank. Because you’re going to be down there until hell freezes over.” She shoved hard by him and stormed out of the steakhouse in a haze of rage.
****
“Upstairs?” she mouthed, gesturing with her hand. Johan nodded and winked as he continued his call. “Thanks,” she whispered. Shayna made her way through the busy restaurant to the back stairs. Sean and his parents had lived above the restaurant for a number of years before the family bought their first home. Now he used the small apartment as his office and for extra storage.
She had cooled off on the drive over, but she could still feel the tension gripping her body. Climbing the stairs, she reached the top and veered down the hall to her right. Sean’s door was partially open. She peeked in to make sure he wasn’t on the phone and then silently stepped in, closing and quietly locking the door behind her.
He hadn’t heard her, appearing to be immersed in the papers spread out before him. She could just watch him like this—indefinitely. What was it about him? How did he manage to make her feel this way? Like a horny teenage girl with a whole future ahead of her full of infinite possibilities yet to be discovered. She breathed out softly, tossing her clutch onto the sofa next to her. Sean glanced up, and she could have sworn his face lit up at the sight of her. Oh, she hoped it had. She didn’t want to believe she had imagined it.
“Hey, gorgeous!” He moved to rise, but she motioned for him to stay put as she sauntered sexily toward him. “So did you and Danielle make up tonight?”
She didn’t respond, just continued staring heatedly at him as she nimbly rounded the corner of his large desk. He had a peculiar look on his face and before he could say what he was thinking, she smoothly lifted her pale pink dress and shimmied out of her matching lacy pink panties, letting them feather to the floor before stepping out of them. She reached over and confidently cleared the space on the desk in front of him. She noticed that his eyes had dilated, his nostrils flared, and he was breathing deeply.
Smiling knowingly, she sat on the edge of his desk, raising and then placing her heeled feet astride his hips in his leather office chair. His stormy, masculine features exuded unadulterated desire and prowess. A wanton grin spread lazily across his soft lips as his hands glided up and along her stocking wrapped thighs to grip her hips and pull himself between her taut legs.
He wasted no time dipping down and pleasuring her with his sinful lips and expert tongue. She heard herself groaning, pleading, and then shattering into the much-needed blissful release that washed away the evening’s tension. A satisfied, throaty laugh escaped her lips at the peacefulness that had so quickly replaced the anger and frustration she had felt earlier.
Then she heard the rattle of Sean’s belt buckle, followed by its thud on the hardwood floor. She pushed herself up and pulled his mouth to hers as he began the slow, deep strokes inside her core that he knew drove her crazy.
It felt like their bodies had been made for each other. She would swear to it. Admittedly, she had only ever been with three men, but Sean had gotten under her skin from the first night. Attentive, demanding, tender, rough, and everything in between, he just seemed to know how to push her buttons and exactly when to do it. Standing at the edge of the cliff again, Shayna readied for another orgasm when Sean gripped her hips tightly.
“Look at me,” he demanded hoarsely.
Her lids fluttering open, Shayna fixed on his green eyes. They swirled with raw desire and potency as he smiled triumphantly, watching her fall apart in his arms. Then he kissed her hard as he pushed her back onto his desk and pounded relentlessly into her slick center, releasing his surging power into her. Winded and feeling weightless, Shayna’s hands snaked underneath Sean’s dress shirt and lingered, caressing his strong, damp back.
Nuzzling her ear, he murmured, “You didn’t even say hello. Just wham-bam. What kind of guy do you think I am?”
She felt his warm smile against her cheek.
“My kind,” she whispered breathily, squeezing him even closer.
CHAPTER 13
“So why didn’t you just tell me?” Sean asked with skepticism written on his face. “I would’ve rather heard it from you than someone else, Shay. This is exactly what he wants—to cause doubts.” Sean’s frustration was apparent in his tense body language.
A business associate of Sean’s had witnessed Frank’
s genuflection and filled him in on the debacle at Kincaid’s, not to mention the rumor mill that had surged exponentially in the days after the spectacle. Shayna was certain that it had been a calculation on Frank’s part. It fit the by-any-means-necessary approach that he applied in business and personal affairs. Something she did not miss and hadn’t fully understood the true depths of until she’d left him. The freedom of the last three years had opened her eyes to a number of things, about herself—and him.
She sighed and nodded in agreement. “You are right, Sean. I should have told you. I truly wasn’t trying to hide anything from you. I simply didn’t want to give it any more life than it deserved, didn’t want to give him any more of my time, our time. He and Dani set that whole farce up. I was only supposed to have dinner with her, you know that.” His expression was unreadable. She threw her hands up in exasperation. “I know he wants to come between us, but I made my feelings very clear to him, publicly, as you now well know,” she said, adamantly.
Sean exhaled softly, standing straighter, with his hands at his lean hips. He continued to appraise her, clearly trying to read her mind. He seemed to be mulling something over.
“Have you really never talked to him about what happened?”
Shayna’s face squeezed with incredulity, as a puff of air involuntarily escaped her. “What the hell, Sean? You too? What is this?”
He bit at his bottom lip and slid his hands into his front pockets. Then he pivoted and walked to the wall of windows framing Lake Indigo, staring out pensively across the choppy blue waters.
“You were married for over twenty years, Shay. Did you really not, at any point, sit down and talk to your ex? Just get it all out so that you could both move on. I mean, you couldn’t have, or he wouldn’t be pulling this shit. Right? He must think that it’s not really over. He must think that there’s still a chance. Why?” he asked roughly, still looking out over the lake.
All of the air in Shayna’s lungs had deflated. A picture was beginning to come into focus as to what Frank must’ve said to Sean that night at Gaetano’s.
“Because there’s nothing to talk about. I know everything I need to know. His words aren’t going to change anything, and I’m getting damn sick and tired of sounding like a broken record.”
Sean slowly swiveled to face Shayna. His expression was indecipherable.
“Do you do that a lot?”
Shayna’s brow crinkled, and she shook her head in confusion. “Do what a lot?”
“Do you cut people off that easily? No gray areas, no room for error...all black and white?” He paused for a moment. “Even after spending most of your life with them?” He stood solemnly, waiting for an answer.
Shayna felt a wave of disappointment wash over her.
“Wow,” she breathed out. She puffed softly and averted her gaze to the hardwood floor, then turned and calmly strode into the kitchen, grabbing a glass from a cabinet and filling it from the tap. After a few drinks, she set the almost empty glass on the concrete countertop and turned to find Sean leaning back against the counter opposite her, his arms crossed, still waiting for her response.
She mirrored him and responded coolly, “He really got to you, didn’t he?”
Sean shook his head and replied, “No. He didn’t. You did. You got to me the first time we met.” His eyes softened around the edges. “We’re not kids anymore, Shay, and I’ve already missed out on so much with you—wish we could’ve met so much earlier in our lives. But I’ll take what I can get now. I just need to know what we’re doing here, because I don’t like games, and I don’t want to be part of one.” He stared at her pointedly.
Shayna blinked slowly and tilted her head to the side, assessing Sean’s body language. “I’m not playing a game with you, Sean. I have no secret desire to get back together with Frank.” She gauged him further. “As far as cutting people out of my life, it’s only been necessary twice. I refuse to apologize for that or second guess myself, but I will tell you why I did it, both times.”
She took another drink of water, then lifted herself up onto the counter, leaning back against the white cabinet. Sighing resignedly, she said, “If it wasn’t bad enough that I caught Frank in bed with a girl young enough to be our daughter, I now find out that it’d been going on for more than a year and half. Frank and I have known each other for more than twenty-five years. He could look me in the eyes, day after day, night after night, sleep with me, tell me how much he loved me and then...do the same to her. The only difference being, she knew about me. She had a choice. Frank had a choice. I didn’t. Now he doesn’t like my choice. Too bad.
“Do I wish it had worked out differently?” She paused and sighed resignedly. “Sometimes, yes. But not as much as you might think...not now,” she said softly, looking at him resolutely and watching the meaning of her words register in his eyes and expression. “I don’t owe him anything. He had his chance and he blew it, Sean. He lied to me so easily and for so long that there isn’t anything he could say or do that would enable me to trust him again. I’m not obligated to hear him out, to hear his side. Fuck him,” she said with an unnerving calm. Sean’s features twitched at the unexpected remark. “I have a real problem with liars. Frank’s always known that, which makes his betrayal sting all the more. He knew all about what happened with Abigail, the effect it had on me, and yet he chose to ignore it. I don’t know if he thought he could just get away with it, or if he got caught, that he’d be different, that I’d forgive him. Doesn’t really matter what he thought, or if he even did, because he of all people should’ve known better.”
She picked up her glass and drank the remainder of the water. Silence filled the space as Shayna allowed Sean time to digest her words.
“So, what’s the story with your mom? You said she and your dad split when you were young and she wasn’t around much.”
Shayna smirked and chuckled mirthlessly. “Yeah, well, that’s the euphemistic way of describing it.”
She pinched the bridge of her nose and hopped off the counter, refilling her empty glass with more water. Then she strolled out to the deck and stretched onto an amply padded lounger, watching the sailboats on Lake Indigo before letting her focus drift up and over the mountains. Sean positioned himself on the chaise next to her and waited quietly.
“I was six when she left. It was a Saturday morning, so everybody was sleeping late, but I woke up. My room was the closest to the living room and the front door, and I remember hearing noises. Not the usual sound of my dad or brothers getting up, but more like someone was trying to be quiet. I distinctly remember thinking that, and it made me curious. So I crawled out of bed and snuck into the living room where the noise was coming from.”
Shayna paused and inhaled deeply as the visceral memory came into sharp focus once again.
“There she was, Abigail Montgomery, placing bags near the front door and looking around as if she was taking one last inventory. She took all but one bag out to the car and then came back for the last one. That’s when she saw me crouched by the sofa, and she covered her mouth before she made a noise. I remember that she looked scared, and then she smiled and knelt down, holding her finger up against her lips and motioning me to come to her, which I happily did. She held my face in her hands first and then took my hands in hers, pulling me closer. She kept smiling at me and then she tucked some hair behind my ear and whispered, ‘It’s still early, baby girl, you need to go back to bed and not wake anybody up. Mommy has to go do some things, but if you’re a really good girl and don’t wake anybody up, I’ll bring your favorite donuts home for breakfast. Okay, baby girl? Now go back to bed and be really, really quiet for Mommy.’” Shayna’s voice had become hard and bitter as she repeated her mother’s final words.
When she spoke next, her tone was soft and distant. “Who does that? Who looks her six-year old daughter in the eyes and says that? Who lies that easily?” Shayna paused. “Abigail Montgomery, that’s who,” Shayna answered in a bruised voice, pinch
ing at the bridge of her nose and then shook her head clear of the old painful memories, inhaling and exhaling deeply.
“So, I fully admit that my early experience with a consummate liar undoubtedly changed me. Abigail Montgomery showed me that when someone who claims to love you can lie to your face so shamelessly, and hurt you so deeply, you shouldn’t believe them. Don’t doubt yourself—doubt them and their words in the future, when they try to excuse and justify their behavior.” She breathed out in contempt. “So, as useless as my mother was, at least she taught me something—and I’ll be damned if I will ever apologize for paying attention and learning my lesson. Frank and Abigail can both go to hell.”
Shayna jumped when she felt Sean’s arms encircle her, pulling her back firmly against his chest. At some point, she must have gotten up, because she found herself now standing at the cable railing overlooking the lake. When had she done that? Closing her eyes tightly, she inhaled and slowly shook her head.
“Did she ever try to contact you after that?” Sean asked tentatively. Shayna pulled him tighter around her, dropping her head back against his chest and releasing a sigh.
“Oh, yeah. When she found out I’d come into a lot of money.” She felt Sean stiffen. “Boy, the remorse was free flowing then. She should’ve been an actress. Her contrition was Oscar worthy.”
“Jesus Christ, Shay,” Sean breathed out, squeezing her. “Your brothers are seriously working things out with her?”
She shrugged against him. “It’s their call, Sean. I’m staying out of it. They don’t like my decision not to give her another chance, especially Jackson, and that’s why they’ve been giving me the cold shoulder for a while now. It’ll blow over, eventually. I’m sure of it.”
Nuzzling her ear, Sean said softly, “Sorry about coming off like a prick earlier, Shay. I really didn’t mean—”
Shayna cut him off with a kiss as she turned, raking her fingers through his dark brown hair and pulling him down to her.