by Dieter Duhm
SD Forum
We need highly determined communities in order to live lives free from ideology and pretense. The issues connected with sex, love, and partnership are far too complex to be carried by small groups, let alone by just two people. These are historic concerns of humankind. We need communities that understand the matter and agree on a fundamental, absolute solidarity with all those who reveal themselves as they share their experiences. To this end we have introduced a method called SD Forum (see Glossary) in our group work. SD stands for “Selbstdarstellung,” which is German for self-expression. It is a process in which a performer can show himself, his fears and conflicts, to the group without reservation, free from the threat of condemnation.
The SD Forum is guided by a basic thought, mentioned above, that has yet to be adequately understood. The personal problems we reveal before the group are not private issues, but issues of humanity. Whoever gets stuck in the conflict of his longings and does not know how to go on can understand his issue to be a collective issue and not add it to his private “guilt account.” The point is not to suffer from personal turmoil but to recognize the global aspect of it. Those who work conscientiously on their jealousy issues work for all humanity. The idea is for performers to bear witness to the inner workings of issues that currently make our civilization perish and to take corresponding action in support of the global effort. “Insight instead of therapy” was our provocative motto at the beginning of the project.
This is about learning solidarity on a deeper level. When people recognize each other in their shared afflictions, they feel less need to disguise themselves and can live together with greater trust. To be seen is to be loved. This is a true statement but it takes courage to let oneself be seen. We had to develop many unusual methods to find the way of truth in love. We are far from finished, but we may have crossed the halfway point on the bridge. It has been long and sometimes tedious work.
Basic Guidelines
From our research ten basic guidelines for the renewed coexistence of the genders have emerged. They could be included in the ethical foundations of a new culture:
1. Love is the ultimate treasure of human culture.
2. Trust between man and woman is the basis of a future without war. Never lie to your love partner.
3. You can only be faithful if you are allowed to love others. Free love and the love between a couple are not mutually exclusive, but complementary.
4. Jealousy is not part of love.
5. Partnership does not derive from mutual possession, but only from mutual compassion and support.
6. Sadism and masochism are the result of humanity’s mistreatment of sexuality. Violence is not part of sexuality and submission does not belong to love.
7. No sex with children.
8. Sexual acts must never be conducted against the will of any person.
9. There is no ownership in love. Relationship problems cannot be solved legally, but only with the help of a supportive community.
10. If you have a choice between love and something else, follow love.
In the behavior of women in Tamera towards men, patterns have emerged, which we might call “gentle feminism.” Women begin to explore their feminine source and thus generate their own authority, which no longer depends on the relationship with only one man. This establishes an historic new anchor point for women in the Holon (see Glossary) of life and society. In her book Weiche Macht [Gentle Power], Sabine Lichtenfels, who heads Tamera’s Love School, encapsulates this repositioning in the following way:
Over 3,000 years of history bear the imprint of male dominance, establishing a principle of hard power. The power within male-dominated societies lay in breaking resistances, which was expressed through conquests, religious warfare, as well as in their methods of education and in the technological treatment of nature. By using these methods modern man has maneuvered himself into an inner dead-end from which he can no longer escape without female support. We do not intend to reestablish ancient matriarchal structures, nor do we want to dominate or patronize men. Feminine power is not targeted at men, nor is it targeted against our love for men – it simply, decisively leaves behind those male structures that have led to the worldwide extinction of life and love. (…) Unless we women take a public stand, nobody can escape this dead-end. It is up to us women to again assume the political and sexual responsibility that has been missing for so long. We invite all dedicated men to join our peace work.6
Reconnecting with the Christ Nature
The healing of love is not limited to erotic love. It also includes a new relationship to the fellow human being, to nature, and to all creatures. We need the reintegration of our human world in the overall world of life to heal the primal pain of separation. Ultimately this entails reconnecting with Omega, the divine center in all things. To love is to approach each other “center to center,” wrote the Jesuit priest Pierre Teilhard de Chardin in his great cosmological vision of the human being.7 Working on the issue of love leads us to realms of great intimacy. The further we advance, the more clearly we see in our partner the qualities of a being that belongs in its entirety to the intact sacred world. This provokes an interesting shift in our relationship. We see the “Christ nature” shine through in the other. I have observed that this being shines through everywhere that fear vanishes and trust arises. The communities of the future could consist of people that have seen this figure in each other. When the Christ nature within the man and the Marian nature of the woman have recognized one another as the same, there can no longer be hostility between them.
This is the true place in which to anchor; here lies the Holy Grail. The Christ nature in the human being, the Marian nature in the human being – this is the love story of humanity as it was meant to be, the true eternal love. We encounter it in erotic love, in love for our friends, in love for nature, and love for God. In order to find and manifest it on Earth we defuse our inner mines, abandon once and for all the neurotic patterns, and open the land for receiving new powers.
Love School
The Love School is part of Tamera’s education both internally for the co-workers of the project, as well as for students from around the world. The basic thoughts for healing love, sex, and partnership are explored in courses and intensive seminars. During this time the participants have the opportunity to reflect on their situation anew, correct their prejudices, and bring their relationships back into order. What happens here, in a circle of between fifty and one hundred people, in terms of psychological destinies and renewal cannot be captured in words. People in high societal positions reveal their helplessness, their fears, their “abnormal” wishes. For many it is the first time in their lives that they experience being able to speak their most intimate issues to a group. The arena of so-called “perversions” seems to be limitless. In the space of revelations such as these, an agreement not to condemn emerges and within this there are astonishing healing powers. Time and again we experience how quickly and easily people can break free from their old sexual habits once they have better alternatives. For new ways to be sustainable the conditions in which people live need to be changed. The possibility of reaching lasting liberation within the existing systems of work, consumption, and marriage are of course very narrow. We cannot yet offer an answer to this. The solution lies in the participants recognizing the situation and actively joining the movement for a free Earth. They can all actively collaborate in the creation of a humane world by, for example, joining the international Terra Nova School founded by Tamera to establish stations for the Terra Nova movement in all countries.
The Global Love School, an annual gathering led by Sabine Lichtenfels, is an important element of Tamera’s Love School. People from different countries come here to work together on the issues of sex, love, and partnership. They experience the conflicts, the inner problems and questions relating to sexual love, as the same all over the world. The morphogenetic field of war burdens the human race; the collecti
ve trauma, and erroneous thought patterns have generated the same structures of manifest or latent fear of loss, jealousy, anger, and disappointment everywhere. We see everywhere how initially loving relationships transform, in a world hostile to love, into fields of problem and distress. It is not individuals’ mistakes, but a system error that makes it so difficult to find fulfillment in love. This insight leads to a healing de-privatization of so-called personal problems. It is logical that we need to develop another system of living to heal the relationship between the genders. What has so far been seen as a private matter is in reality a public concern and global political issue. Working on our relationships is a great service to society. Human society will only be free once it has solved its love issue. A new culture develops from a new relation between the genders.
The Dō of Love
“Dō” is a sacred path leading to the divine world. People have developed many holy paths throughout history, but rarely have they walked the Dō of erotic love. Humankind can only attain happiness when it finds the Dō of erotic love. Herein lies the real revolutionary focus of our time. In erotic love, the fleshly encounters the sacred; the personal encounters the transpersonal, in the most direct way. The new peace workers will walk the Dō of love. The Dō of love is the Dō of the next era of humanity in which all people will discover one another anew. If through our work we succeed in building a morphogenetic field of the Dō of love, we will offer humanity and eventually the entire Earth the greatest service possible.
What has actually hindered us from recognizing and affirming this truth over so many generations? The creation of Terra Nova corresponds to the awakening from an incredible epoch of hypnosis. People have proclaimed messages of salvation and beaten one another to death; they have worn iron chastity belts at night; they have fasted and suffered to calm their inner drives. But there was a force they could not subdue: the “superpower” of sexuality and the longing for love. Until the day arrived when they awakened from hypnosis, from a satanic delusion under which, against their own wills, men and women for centuries labored in vain. Humanity could not become happy so long as it was forced to reject that which is most beautiful. So long as sensual love was obscured, humanity was destined to search without finding.
When sensual love is brought so strongly into focus, the agonizing question of aging comes up. What should we do when we get older? What sweetness will come to us when the skin has become withered and the face wrinkled? My answer is born out of experience. There is still sexual love in old age. It is the most direct and honest expression of soul love. Soul love was given to us at birth as part of our entelechy program. It belongs to our basic psychological nature and is meant to be present at all ages. Soul love led us to the first experience of being in love in our youth or childhood. Later, when this love led to the sexual meeting of two bodies, a kind of happiness beyond words arose. This experience was relegated to the realm of fairytales and naïve, youthful dreams by the frustration within society. Only very few relationships could withstand this and remain faithful to love. Behind all aberrations and confusions a path between man and woman is paved, guiding us to the entelechial place in our lives – the discovery of love.
The soul love between the genders is at the center of human longing. It is women who instinctively follow their birthright of giving physical expression to this love. It will be women that care for the Love Schools in the Healing Biotopes. They will help to restore the wisdom of temple priestesses from former times to modern life. They are working on developing the Dō of love. They will be supported by men to joyfully walk this path. Men too will occasionally offer themselves in the service of love. In this way, on a higher level of order, solidarity arises between the genders and a shared appreciation for those parts of Eros formerly banished to the brothels. So long as this desire for love remains unfulfilled, human beings will continue to build bombs. One who experiences love through body and soul cannot build bombs. “Make love not war.” This is the answer. Amen.
WORKS CITED
1. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, Über Den Tod Und Das Leben Danach (Güllesheim: Silberschnur Verlag, 2010). Back to reading
2. Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype (New York: Ballantine Books, 1992). Back to reading
3. Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching (Milano: Mondadori, 2001). Back to reading
4. John 1:14, Holy Bible (New American Standard Bible). Back to reading
5. Genesis 4:1, Holy Bible (New American Standard Bible). Back to reading
6. Sabine Lichtenfels, Weiche Macht: Perspektiven Eines Neuen Frauenbewusstseins Und Einer Neuen Liebe Zu Den Männern (Belzig: Berghoff and Friends, 1996). Back to reading
7. Pierre Teilhard De Chardin and Othon Marbach, Der Mensch Im Kosmos (München: C. H. Beck Verlag, 1959). Back to reading
Chapter 20: Liberating Sexuality
Back to the Table of Contents
If one asks me where to obtain the deepest insight of that inner essence of the world, which I have called the will for life, or where one obtains the purest revelation of oneself, I need to refer to the lustful delight in the act of copulation. This is it! This is the true essence and core of all things, goal and purpose of all existence.1
~ Arthur Schopenhauer
We are astonished by the quote above. It reaches the innermost core so directly in a way that is uncommon in philosophy. At least as astonishing are these words from Teilhard de Chardin: “The most alive thing you can grasp is flesh. And flesh, for man, is woman.”2
Teilhard de Chardin was a priest and paleontologist. He knew the sacred in Eros and he knew the innermost meaning of fleshly lust, even though, as a priest he renounced it. I ask you to reflect on this word for just a moment: “flesh,” or to think about the state of being we call “horny.” Do you notice an ungraspable arousal, something true, which is too shameful to be spoken out? There where our words suggest the most base, the most elevated and beautiful could be waiting. We do not find it because our culture threw it into the gutter and has so far neglected to retrieve it. The revolution that has just begun must turn the value scale of the old world upside down, to reposition many a thing from the gutter to the very top. The secret of matter is also the secret of flesh and the secret of flesh is a secret of love; the secret of love is the secret of God. The divine world is made manifest in freely lived Eros. And this is what the man encounters with particular radiance in the woman – and vice versa. It is also in the image of the prince that an aspect of the divine world becomes manifested. The archetype of the prince is an erotic light figure for both genders attracting both hetero- and homosexual love.
The basic fact of the genders, the longing of the body, and a great historical trauma all sit at the base of human life. In order to find out how genuine unification arises, many different paths can be taken: the path of polygamy and monogamy, of hetero- and homosexuality, of partnership, free sexuality, and ways connecting both, certainly also paths of celibacy and periods of sexual abstinence, as they were for example walked by Teilhard de Chardin and Pia Gyger. No law can dictate the right sexual decision to us; there is only the authentic human experience and the freedom to follow it. Wherever and however this happens authentically, it is a contribution in the great plan of life. To find our way we need to open to all paths and eliminate all factors that force us to lie.
Beyond all opinions lies the magic of sexual desire. To quote a wonderful statement the American author Douglas C. Abrams puts in the mouth of the womanizer Don Juan,
I will tell you the reason for my success, and it is not the reasons that have been given – not wealth, nor title, nor beauty. The only secret I have used to unlock the bedchambers of the women I have known is their own unquenched thirst for life. The greatest power in the world, greater than kings and popes, is the desire of women. Love, the priests tell us, rules the heavens, but does desire not rule the Earth? One who understands the workings of desire understands the very secret of life.3
The work of a humane peace movement includes freeing this desire from the narrow cages of bourgeois or religious propriety, and offering it a direction in which it can find fulfillment in freedom and mutual responsibility. The more we recognize how strongly human life is, consciously or unconsciously, steered by this desire the more the issue of sexuality becomes the focus of our thoughts. This is where the deepest system change from the hologram of violence to the hologram of love occurs. Hardly any realm of human existence has been so suppressed, defiled, tormented, distorted, denied, and vilified as sexuality. Almost everywhere, this was done in the name of power, and executed through war, sadism, and unbounded sexual crime. In most cases the victims were women. To this day, the history of sexuality is a history of woman’s plight, of feminine suppression, exploitation, and violation. As a result most women no longer want to or can fully affirm their own sexual nature. Sexual revelation and self-revelation is however a condition of knowing love. For its enablement, we need men that do not abuse the sexual revelation of the woman, but welcome it in the spirit of partnership and who are willing to answer it with their own revelation. When a woman reveals herself sexually, she gives the most profound offering a woman can give to a man. Men need to learn to deal properly with this. They need to understand the significance of the revelation. When he understands this he will be grateful and feel deep solidarity toward her, even if there is no intention of relationship from either side. There are still only a few such men, for there has not yet been a culture that could raise them.