by Darien Cox
“You say no bullshit.”
“I know. It’s just hard to hear.”
Baz’s head tilted. “Why?” He pointed at Myles. “Myles fortunate. You to see his eyes when explode. You to touch. To taste his painted skin. You Chrischris have love for. Baz? Chrischris never have love for. Accept this suffer. I accept to suffer these feels.”
Some of the anger leaked out of Myles. Hearing these things from Baz was awkward and stirred unpleasant emotions inside. But that Baz had such strong feelings for Christian and still worked so hard to respect his relationship with Myles? It was almost touching. His shoulders relaxed a bit, and he nodded. “All right. So Joff helped you...get it out of your system. At least temporarily.”
“Yes. In the before. But then Joff say later...when we share sex...want to see me excite again. Say he think my excite over Chrischris please him. Joff say when I share in the before when speak of this human...give him strong...explode. He feel strong pleasure from me put into him. Want to feel again.”
Myles was silent. Even Nolan seemed uncomfortable, shifting his position on the bed.
“You understand?” Baz said. “Is plain talk?”
“Yeah,” Myles said. “I get it, believe me.”
“Nolan?” Baz looked at Nolan, his expression innocent. “Understand?”
“I think so,” Nolan said. “When you get aroused and climax, your climax goes into your partner. Not just...physical orgasm or ejaculation. The way humans do. But Joff also gets to...feel your orgasm, as you’re feeling it?”
Baz let out a long breath. “Yes. Exact. And I feel his. Shared.”
Myles gave his head a shake. “And Joff liked the way it felt when you climaxed thinking of Christian.”
“Yes. He like. He say powerful. Unusual. I think he...become to crave. But here is problem. I think before that this would make easy to be alone with Chrischris. That is as you say...out of system? But tonight Chrischris here...I go unhappy that still so strong in the now.”
“Um...” Nolan chuckled. “Baz, just gonna throw this out here. You ever think that maybe acting out sexual fantasies about Christian could actually be heightening your attraction to him? Making it worse? So when you saw him tonight it was just right there at the surface?”
Baz’s white eyebrows pinched. He rocked back and forth. “I did not think this. Nolan...very wise. I think this may be truth. I fuck up. Baz...fuck up. I am smarter than you. Superior logic. But to be stupid with this.” He shook his head. “So stupid with this.”
“You’ll get no argument from me,” Myles said. “I’m supposed to believe you didn’t know this could happen? You, who’s so superior and smart? Well, your supposed superior hybrid logic goes beyond stupid. I’d go so far as to say it was childish. Childish and selfish.”
Baz narrowed his luminous eyes at Myles, and his long neck stretched, shoulders thrown back. Myles swallowed hard. He’d never seen outright anger from the hybrid, nothing even close to it. But he was quite certain he was seeing it now, as blood rose in Baz’s white face, his cheeks going beyond the occasional tinge of peach, straight to bright pink.
Baz’s prior anguished expression was replaced by a fiery brightness in the colorful rings of his eyes, white brows pulling together. “I tell you I think Chriscrhis wake my human side. This is the part that fuck up. When think with human desire act stupid.” He pointed to his temple. “Cloud brain. This is not the way with hybrids. Human side make me act stupid. Act like you.”
“Way to shift the blame,” Myles said. “You lose control of yourself and it’s Christian’s fault for daring to be human in your presence? You’re supposed to be his ambassador. A higher being. You’re supposed to have studied our race. The expert,” Myles said snidely. “So much smarter than us. But a little tickle to your human sexuality and you’re blowing your climax all over my boyfriend.”
Baz’s cleft-nose wrinkled, and he made a sound, almost a scoff. “Expert? Myles, even Whites, even after two generation, no to be expert on hybrids. We are...freak. When Whites in the before find hybrid babies, my ancestors, hidden in Greys’ facility? Also find dead babies. Thousand and more dead babies. Take many experiment to make blend. Whites and humans mix...unstable. Should never have been. We should never have been. I should never have been. So is complicated, Myles.” Baz leaned forward and pointed a long white finger at Myles, his jaw trembling. “Is complicated!”
Myles went still, taken aback by the iciness in the hybrid’s voice. “Okay.” Myles raised his hands. “It’s complicated.”
“Baz...I was first hybrid to speak with humans. To be close to. Because Shatyee...Rudy...Chriscrhis? Ask for speak with Whites. Make big compromise to speak with humans. Risk much. Is not perfect. Still learning. Hybrids know there is to be human parts inside, but never to bother with. Until now. Not to know how this would work. But to try! Baz...I am to try!”
“I get that,” Myles said, his own anger rising. “Your interactions with humans are new and unpredictable. But you should have spoken up. Should have realized full disclosure was important, especially if you had sexual feelings for a human! But you said nothing!”
“I tell you already.” Baz’s chin lifted, eyes narrowed on Myles. “I know I fuck up. Try to deal with in private. Think was to be okay. Try to...do best. But did not work.”
“Then maybe you should stop trying, period,” Nolan said. “We can talk to Ogden and explain that we have to keep Christian out of one-on-one meetings with you, but if you still want to work with us, you’ll probably have to see him at some point. Do you still want to work with us? Be our ambassador?”
“Oh. Yes!” Baz straightened. “Work so hard. Learn so much to talk to you. I am your ambassador.” The anger left Baz’s expression, eyes widening. “Nolan. You no to want to have me now? Because I fuck up? How you to know other hybrid may not be worse?”
“I’m not suggesting we replace you. We’ve come so far, as you said.” Nolan sighed and leaned forward. “Baz. We still want you as our ambassador. It’s important. To all of us, but especially to our boss. It’s bigger than just us. We’re not gonna shit all over a significant alliance between aliens and humans just because of this...sex thing. We’ll just have to make some adjustments in light of these revelations.”
Baz nodded, his eyes going glassy with tears again. “Apology to make difficult.”
“What about what Nolan said?” Myles asked. “You and Joff. Your sex games. You gonna cut that shit out or what?”
Baz stared at Myles, then sighed. “I tell him we to stop. Chrischris...no more to think...to speak of in the sex. Apology, Myles. Apology to be angry. Did not bring Chrischris to sex with Joff to be selfish. Try to make go away the feels. I speak truth, Myles.”
“I’m not trying to be the mind-police,” Myles said. “Your fantasies are your own. But after what happened tonight, I agree with Nolan. You’ve only made it worse.”
“Chrischris...you think to be okay?”
“Well, I hope so! I’ll keep an eye on him. But Nolan’s right. You shouldn’t see Christian anymore.”
“Okay.” Baz’s eyes crinkled and his lip trembled. “Myles. Ask question? For truth?”
Myles nodded. “Sure. What is it?”
“Chrischris...hate Baz now? Chrischris hate me? Yes?”
“Oh, I doubt that,” Nolan said. He looked at Myles. “Right? He doesn’t hate Baz.”
Baz stared at Myles, his huge eyes wide and expectant. Myles sighed. “Christian doesn’t hate you. He defended you. Said he knew it was an accident. He blamed himself for invading your space.”
Shoulders sagging with relief, Baz sighed. “I wish you to tell him is not his fault. That Baz is...just fuck up. And to tell him apology. Please, Myles? To take apology? To Chrichris and to you? Apology, Myles. For be stupid. For...not disclose.”
Myles stood. “I accept your apology and I know Christian will too. I’m gonna go home and check on him now. Nolan? You coming?”
Nolan stood as well. “I
better grab the device. Baz? Okay if I take it?”
“Yes. Take from table. I to stay here for a time.” He pointed to his temple. “Need some think.”
Nolan nodded. “Okay. Let’s go, Myles.”
Myles waited while Nolan stopped in the kitchen and picked up the silver box, then the two of them left the cabin. Pausing before moving on to his truck, Nolan faced Myles. “You all right?”
Myles shook his head and gazed up at the sky, sighing. “Define all right.”
Nolan chuckled. “Yeah. Well, you did ask him to speak bluntly.”
“Yeah.” He looked at Nolan. “Your husband is still at my house with Christian. You want to come by?”
“I have to get this box secure back at my place. Tell Elliot to meet me at home?”
“Okay.”
“Myles, please keep us posted. I know this is about as personal as it gets, but it affects us all with the whole...alien thing. We all have to interact with Baz.”
“I’ll call one of you tomorrow after I take Christian to see a doctor.”
“You sure you should take him to a doctor?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“Ah...” Nolan chuckled. “He got mind-fucked by an alien. And we’re all under nondisclosure agreements. What if there are weird residuals in his physical symptoms? Think you best let Ogden’s doctors look him over, if anyone.”
Myles hadn’t thought of that. Now he was even more annoyed. He was getting tired of Christian’s job, and all the fuckery that came with it, interfering in their lives. “I’ll consider it.”
“Great. Tell Christian hi. I’ll see you later. And Myles?”
Myles had started toward his truck but turned back. “Yeah?”
“Don’t project your anger about this onto Christian.”
Myles frowned. “You realize I love Christian, right? I’d never treat him carelessly.”
“I know but...tread lightly, okay? He comes off tough but has a fragile side. There are still a lot of unhealed wounds from his past. Christian’s a pain in the ass but I love him too. We all do.”
“Got it. Goodnight.”
Myles tried to calm himself on the drive home. Nolan was right in one sense, irritating as it was—Christian didn’t need to see Myles all worked up. He’d been through a shocking experience. But for fuck sakes, Christian was the man he loved. Not only had Myles been forced to sit there and listen to someone else’s sex fantasies about his boyfriend, but the follow-up of Nolan stepping in and telling Myles how to handle it? He got that Nolan and the team had known Christian longer. But he resented the insinuation that they knew better when it came to Christian’s welfare.
All these exterior forces and opinions made Myles feel like Christian wasn’t actually his. That he’d never fully belong to him, because too many other factors had a stake in things. Like Ogden’s team were simply allowing Myles to borrow Christian from them, but could step in and take over if they chose. If Myles didn’t tread lightly.
“I sent him to bed,” Elliot said when Myles stepped into the house. “He seems fine, temp is normal, but he was bouncing off the walls. Got a sudden burst of energy. But I figured he needed rest regardless. I just checked on him and he’s out cold.”
Myles closed the door behind him. “How’d you manage that? Christian never does what I tell him to.”
Elliot smirked. “I can be really mean and forceful if I put my back into it. How’d it go? Nolan just texted and said you guys met with Baz, but he gave no details.”
Myles threw his jacket down on a chair and sighed. “I’ll let Nolan fill you in. It’s been quite a night. Go on home. And thanks, Elliot. For staying with him.”
“No problem. Thanks for dinner. Later.”
After Elliot left, Myles quietly cleaned up then crept into the bedroom. He stripped naked and slid in behind Christian, who was on his side, sheet tucked under his bare arm. Christian didn’t stir. When his eyes adjusted to the dim light, Myles studied the Gustave Dore tattoos on Christian’s back, wanting desperately to trace the lines of smooth skin with his finger, but wary to wake him. To taste his painted skin.
Myles winced, forcing Baz’s words from his mind. It didn’t matter how Baz felt about Christian. No one got to taste Christian’s painted skin but Myles. No one.
From this world, or any other.
****
“Morning, Sheriff.”
Myles startled at Christian’s voice. “You’re awake early.”
Christian tucked the pillow under his arms and rested his head down, eyes on Myles. “You talk to Baz last night?”
“Yeah.” Myles stroked a finger down Christian’s face. “How are you feeling?”
“Horny.”
Myles frowned, going still.
“Not because of that!” Christian grinned. “Because you’re here. Naked in bed with me.”
Letting out a sigh of relief, Myles slid his arm around Christian’s waist. “I wasn’t thinking it was because of that.”
“Yes you were. I’m fine, Myles. Whatever happened last night, I don’t feel it anymore. I feel perfectly normal. Good even.”
Pulling Christian’s warm, naked body in close, Myles nuzzled his temple. He smelled clean and soapy from his shower last night. “I’m glad. But still want you to get checked out. Even if it has to be by one of Ogden’s doctors.”
Christian was silent.
“Christian?”
“I’ll do whatever you want. But Myles. Do you think it was my fault?”
Myles head jerked back. “What? No! Of course it wasn’t your fault. Why would you say that?”
Christian didn’t speak.
“Christian, come on. You’re smarter than that, you know it wasn’t your fault.”
“When I was just a kid living on the street, I did some shit I’m not proud of. Sexual stuff. Sometimes I worry that...I’m broken now. Not like other people. That sometimes I cross the line without realizing it. That I’m just naturally too...sexual. And don’t realize it sometimes.”
Myles hugged him closer. “You were a kid in a bad situation. It’s got nothing to do with your life now.”
“I know that, logically. But over the years since moving to the village, people have accused me of using my sexuality as manipulation. Even you when we first met. You asked me to tone it down, remember? Said I was too pushy? Knowing I somehow invoked that sexual reaction from Baz last night is bringing it all back. The thought that maybe I can’t sense people’s boundaries the way I should.”
“Hey.” Myles propped up on an elbow and stared down into Christian’s gorgeous brown eyes. “It was an involuntary reaction from an alien being. That’s all. It’s not your fault. Don’t think that.”
“But I hugged him.”
“Hugging isn’t an invitation for...whatever that was. Baz has strong feelings for you. And he has freaky alien sex attributes inherited from the Whites. We talked about it.”
Christian’s nose wrinkled. “Really? Guess that explains a lot.”
“He lost control of them. It wasn’t anything you did.”
“I didn’t believe you. That he had those kinds of feelings for me. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.”
“Stop.” Myles kissed him softly then eased back. “It was an accident. Let’s move past it. Okay?”
“What did Baz say to you?”
Myles sighed. “A lot. I’ll tell you over breakfast. But most importantly he’s sorry. He wanted me to tell you that. He feels like shit about it.”
Christian nodded. “Okay. I’m glad it’s your day off. I’ve missed you.” Christian rolled on top of him.
Myles eyelids fluttered at the press of silken flesh. “We don’t have to do anything right now. Sexually. We should wait until we know for sure you’re okay. And...you’ve been through a traumatic experience.”
“I’m not traumatized.” Christian’s stiff cock pressed hard against Myles’ hip. “You want to get past this? Then make me come, Myles. Need to come for you, with yo
u, by you. With you inside me.”
Breathing heavily, Myles grew instantly hard. “You sure?”
Christian’s lips hovered over his. “Of course I’m sure. I love you, Myles.”
Pulling Christian’s face down, Myles kissed him, devouring his mouth. The soft, familiar feel of Christian’s tongue turned him on. Myles’ hands roamed everywhere, over smooth muscled back, gripping Christian’s firm ass. Myles was filled with a frantic sense of possessiveness.
He responded feverishly to Christian’s enthusiastic kissing, flipping him over and sliding on top, claiming him as his own. Pinning Christian down with his weight, Myles’ attacked his mouth, sliding his tongue deep, needing to be as close as possible, fused together, inseparable. Some part of him had felt threatened last night, like he might lose him. But Christian was right here, moaning beneath him. Here, real, and still Myles’ very own sexy fucking troublemaker.
“I want to ride you,” Christian panted into his mouth.
Without getting up, Myles reached over to the bedside table and fished the lube bottle from the drawer. “Don’t want to let you up,” he huffed. “Just let me keep you beneath me. Let me slide into you right here.”
Christian breathed a sigh, eyes closing. “Okay.” He spread his thighs and wrapped his legs around Myles. “But do it hard.”
Myles could barely contain himself, fumbling with the lube, squirting out way too much, getting a chuckle from Christian when he inadvertently saturated his lower belly with it. He grinned as he finally got his cock slick, then pushed into Christian’s tight heat—hard, and with no hesitation, the way he wanted it. “Hard enough, baby?”
Christian’s head fell back onto the pillow as his hips bucked. “Fuck. Yes. Go fast. Make me come, Myles.”
Myles plunged in, pushing Christian’s legs up, watching as he tugged on himself. Finding the rhythm, he gave it his all, focusing on Christian’s pleasure. Minutes ticked by, the room silent but for their pants and moans and the sound of flesh meeting flesh as early morning sunlight trickled through the windows. Myles relished it, the closeness, Christian’s responsiveness, the excitement that never ebbed or quieted, no matter how many times they did it.