Super Not Into You: An Enemies to Lovers Fake Fiance Romance

by Jamie Knight

  I hope Scout can do the same.

  “YES! Lori said she’d love to have you guys on. And don’t quote me on this but she seemed quite excited.”

  “You can tell if someone’s excited through texts?” I ask him.

  “Hm. I guess someone doesn’t have to be excited to add a bunch of exclamation points, but you know what, I’m trying to be positive here. Lori can help us.” He looks over at me. “You know what you’re doing, right, kid?”

  I open my eyes and look up at Palir. “Probably not. But when has that ever stopped me?”

  He doesn’t laugh this time, though. I hear a sigh escape from him, and I stand up to give him my full attention.

  “What is it, Palir?”

  “Look, we’re friends and I know you meant that as a joke, but… you’re going to have to start thinking about what you’re doing. This isn’t just your life we’re playing with here. Now it’s hers too, and… she seems like a good kid.”

  “She is,” I tell him.

  “Right. So, let’s just get over this obstacle and have her involved for as little time as possible. Capisce?”

  “No… No capisce, what are you talking about?”

  He bites his lip in frustration and shakes his head. “Look, kid —”

  “Don’t call me kid, Palir, I’m older than you and I make more than you. Just say what’s on your mind.”

  My rash wording clearly cut through Palir like a hot knife through butter as evidenced by his furled brow.

  He sighs, “Just don’t get emotionally involved with her, alright? And don’t get her thinking that this’ll be anything more than a year long stint, if that. She doesn’t deserve to get her hopes up thinking that she’ll be shacking up with a billionaire for the rest of her life, only to get dumped once you’re back on the team officially. You know?”

  I do know this. At least, I think I do. Hearing him say it so bluntly shakes me to my core and I can’t quite put a finger on why. Nothing he’s saying is bad advice or factually incorrect, but I’m still bothered by it.

  “I know.”

  “Bryan, listen to me. Years from now, nobody will be talking about this. This is just one drop in the ocean of celebrity scandals. We just have to get through it without ruining ourselves or Scout. Sound like a plan?”

  In the future, will Scout still be a part of my life? Would I even want her to be? Do I even want her in my life now? I haven’t had much time to think about that last question, but right now, I do feel like I want her in my life.

  I want someone like Scout to be by my side at all times. She’s been such a trooper these past few hours and has proven to be much braver than me. How could I not want someone like her? How could I keep myself from becoming emotionally involved with someone who continues to amaze me the more time I spend with her?

  “Bryan, talk to me. Tell me what I want to hear.”

  “Right… Sounds like a plan.”

  “Thank you!” he says throwing his hands in the air.

  Right on cue, Scout comes downstairs looking much more made up than before, that is to say, incredibly attractive. My jaw nearly drops. The only time I’ve seen her look like this was at that charity event. She seems a bit different, for the better, but that may just be because she’s not scowling at me for embarrassing her.

  Before I can compliment her, Palir turns me around and pushes me towards my bedroom.

  “Go on, it’s your turn. Scout and I will be in my car. Hurry up, please.”

  He’s stressed. Scout doesn’t seem terribly comfortable being alone with Palir after having just met him, so I just nod at Palir and get ready as quickly as possible.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Scout

  Palir’s been talking for twenty minutes without stopping, but I can’t say I’ve absorbed a word of it. My entire body is throbbing with anxiety. I’ve been in front of cameras before, it’s not uncharted territory for me, but last time I was filmed was when I was telling the world how I didn’t appreciate Bryan’s actions during the charity event I hosted.

  That’s the one topic I don’t want to touch on, but I can already hear the reporter asking that question.

  “Last time you spoke publicly, you were chastising Bryan, how is it that you two ended up together after all of that,” they’d ask.

  The only thing keeping me from belting out a primal scream is Bryan holding onto my hand, though I suspect that he’s mostly holding it for his own sake. Today has been a lot for him and he doesn’t seem ready to be in front of a big crowd that isn’t made up of children. We’re already acting like a couple, holding each other for comfort.

  It’s a nice moment I wish I could stay in forever. But it ends rather abruptly when Palir stops the car and we’re basically assaulted by interns and producers.

  They rip me out of my seat and hurriedly move me towards the studio, through a loud and crowded hallway into a dressing room. I still haven’t registered anything anyone has said to me. Everyone sounds blurry and my body doesn’t feel mine. I feel like I’m trapped inside my own body as it’s dragged from hallway to hallway, room to room. Low or unpaid interns measuring my body, handing me clothes, throwing me into a fitting room.

  It’s only when I’m alone in the fitting room that I feel myself grow back into my own body. My breathing is my own again. It’s not just a reverberant echo in the shell I was stuck inside.

  Now, what the fuck is happening?

  BANG! BANG! BANG!

  “How’s it going in there?” I hear someone yell after banging on the door acting as my only shelter from the craziness outside.

  “Just one more minute,” I instinctively reply.

  Looking down at the clothes at my feet, I realize I don’t even know what I’ll be wearing. My disassociation ends when I pick up the white dress pants, I’ve been handed. I slowly slide into these pants and then look at the red top that’s to be paired with the pants. It’s a good look. Nothing too loud. Something that makes me feel comfortable. I can do this.

  I swing open the door to the fitting room thinking the worst is over, but then I realize I haven’t even gotten to the stage. A pink haired lady grabs me by the arm and sits me down in front of a mirror before roughly pulling on my hair with an overused brush.

  “Pleasure to meet ya,” barks the cotton candy haired lady with a thick Brooklyn accent. Before I can reply she asks me about what it’s like to be with a football player.

  She waits intently for me to answer, but I just give her a smile and don’t respond. She seems offended by this and starts brushing my hair even more roughly. Despite her offense, after a very painful 10 minutes, my hair does end up looking more extravagant than I’d ever had it.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to ignore you, ma’am, I just… I’m not supposed to say anything until I’m on camera,” I tell her.

  Her response is just an apathetic stare and a dramatic exit from the room. No time to think about the person whose day I just ruined though, because in comes Palir as the third person to drag me through this godforsaken studio by the arm. At least this time, he leads me to Bryan, looking dapper, but casual.

  “Holy… Scout, you look amazing.”

  “She does, but let’s huddle up and remember why we’re here,” Palir whispers as he gets us all close together. “Don’t say anything they’re not asking you directly. Now, Lori is great. I let her know that this is a sensitive, private situation, and while you have the right to not disclose any information you don’t want to, I highly suggest answering all of Lori’s questions.”

  Bryan and I exchanged worried looks, but he takes my hand and makes me feel as secure as I did when we were in Palir’s car. Not all of my worries melt away, but it helps.

  A producer informs us that we’ll be on in less than five minutes, sending daggers up my spine. Even with Bryan’s hand in mine, I don’t know how well I’ll be able to perform. I’ve been able to answer questions in an interview before, but I’ve never had to lie about every little thing. N
othing coming out of my mouth is going to be truthful. I’m a terrible liar. I’m going to work off of Bryan’s answers and keep them all short.

  “Now, Scout,” Palir starts, “people know you’re a capable, giving woman. Play off of that.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “Just be yourself. As much as you can. Everyone online thinks it’s super romantic that the two of you are together despite your initial meeting and your very opposite lives,” he explains.

  It would be romantic. If it weren’t all a farce. He’s a heartthrob billionaire who, to the public’s perception, is donating his time to taking care of kids out of the goodness of his heart. That’s the story I have to back up. I have to leave the audience with warm fuzzies about our engagement. Should be easy enough.

  “Alright. Make magic happen, you two. I’ll be in the bathroom praying and maybe throwing up,” Palir admits, flashing us two thumbs up.

  The producer waves us over to walk onto set. I hear Bryan’s name being announced, but not mine. “Mystery Lady” is what I’m going by here, apparently.

  I wasn’t expecting that. In fact, all of this was much different than I was expecting. Maybe if I had been paying attention, I’d have noticed that I’ve been inside the offices of an online news aggregate that is responsible for such great articles like, “Disney Princesses Redesigned as Skateboarders” and “50 Reasons You Should Watch Golden Girls”.

  Fuck.

  Hand in hand, we walk out to a blindingly white set. White tables. White chairs. White rug. And the host is smiling at us with a big fake grin.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Scout

  Lori, the host, greets us with a toothy smile and hugs us both, one by one. In front of us, a few bearded twenty-somethings stand around as the film crew. No audience behind them. Why was I shoved and dragged and pulled at for a shoot that wasn’t live and had no impatient audience waiting for me?

  “So,” Lori says in a very Valley girl voice, “Welcome to show, thank you so much for being here.”

  “It’s a pleasure to be here, Lori,” Bryan says in a voice nowhere near as shaky as it was five minutes ago.

  I smile and nod timidly hoping that suffices as an answer from me.

  The first questions are all for Bryan. About his break from football, his plans for the future. Questions I don’t have any input in. I just see the people behind the cameras. I’m able to keep a happy face on but it’s becoming increasingly difficult with every question I have to sit here quietly for.

  “So, Scout Thomason…”

  “Yes?”

  “You and Bryan haven’t always been always been on good terms, isn’t that right,” Lori asks.

  Finally. A question for me. One that should be easy enough to answer.

  “That’s right, Lori,” I tell her, “we were butting heads earlier this year, but my opinion of him has changed since then.”

  “Why is that?”

  “Weeks after the charity event that sparked the animosity between us, Bryan actually came to me in person and apologized. Of course, with celebrities it’s necessary to take these apologies at face value, but that same day, he signed up to be a volunteer for Children of The Future.”

  “Children of The Future being your non-profit organization.”

  “Correct. Children of The Future is an organization that prioritizes the safety and education of students who, for one reason or another, cannot be picked up afterschool by a parent or guardian. Our program ensures that while they’re waiting for an adult to pick them up, that they are being kept on school premises, away from the dangers that lurk outside of their school.”

  Nodding her head, Lori turns to Bryan, “And what is it about Scout’s organization that made you want to start volunteering there?”

  He clears his throat before answering. “See, at first, I just wanted to prove to her that my word means something. If an apology isn’t enough for someone, then I have to show them that I do care about my actions and relationships with people… But it’s those children that kept me going back. I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t do as much work with children as my colleagues because I’ve always felt that I couldn’t connect with them, due to my childhood being cut short. My parents supported me in my sports pursuits vehemently, and because of that, I didn’t have a lot of friends growing up. I didn’t play video games or watch any of the movies everyone my age was watching. But aside from it being a rewarding experience, it’s just inspiring to be able to spend time with such motivated, wide eyed children, who really are our future.”

  “So, you like kids now?”

  “Absolutely,” he says, punctuating his answer with a charismatic laugh.

  “So, are you two considering?” she asks with bated breath.

  We turn to each other and panic for only a split second before breaking out into laughter.

  “That’s a ways off in the future from now,” I tell her.

  “Being able to watch over a group of kids and having a kid of your own are two totally different experiences. And as Scout said, that’s a question for the future.”

  “On the topic of what lies ahead: Your engagement. People are dying to find out all of the wedding ‘deets’. When, where, the dress, the food, all of it.”

  This is a question for me. Bryan’s looking at me, hoping I’ll give a decent answer. I can feel Palir’s knees shaking from wherever he is right now. Here goes nothing.

  “One thing I’m sure of is… that it’s going to be beautiful. Nothing too crazy or lavish. Just a humble wedding reception with friends and family. As for the ‘deets’, there’s not much to say at the moment. We’re still deciding on whether we want a fall or spring wedding. Nothing is set in stone as of yet.”

  Bryan loosens his grip on my hand and relaxes his spine. Must have been a good answer. Lori sure seems to think so with her perpetual grin.

  “Now where did the engagement happen?” she asks. “How’d he pop the question?”

  This time, Bryan takes the wheel.

  “I thought about it long and hard. Whether I’d take her to Disneyland and do it there, or Paris, or anywhere people normally dream of popping the question. But it happened when I didn’t expect it to. Scout and I were just taking a stroll through a park we normally go to, and I just asked her there. I didn’t even have the ring on me at the time. But the sun was hitting her face in a way that made her look like a goddess. And I just couldn’t help myself.”

  “That’s beautiful,” Lori replies genuinely. “Scout, can we see the ring?”

  The ring. Fuck. I should have a ring, there’s no ring. We’re fucked.

  “Funny story about the ring,” Bryan says to Lori in a calm tone.

  “Don’t tell me you forgot it,” Lori says wagging her finger.

  “No, I actually didn’t know her ring size. The one I got for her turned out to be too small and by the time we realized it, Scout’s finger was twice as fat as it should be, and a shade of purple no person’s finger should be.”

  Following along, I add, “Yep, just two days ago, we were able to get the ring off and now we’re just waiting for the new one.”

  For the next fifteen minutes, we are just being asked fluff questions. Nothing I have to probe my brain for. Easy to answer opinions on celebrities, movies, and a whole lot of other nonsense. Until Lori lost her smile and her mouth went as straight as an arrow. The sheen in her eyes disappeared in seconds.

  “Going back to Children of The Future, Bryan, do you think you ended up dedicating your time there for the children or for Scout?”

  I sit there flabbergasted. Almost offended. The interview is nearly done, I think to myself. Surely, she’ll cut the interview once she runs out of media centric current events to ask us about. But she’s just playing us. She wanted to blindside us with a hard-hitting question to get us to give her an answer that wasn’t rehearsed. Just like a journalist to act like a snake.

  “Well — It’s — That’s a good question, Lori.
”

  Oh, he’s floundering. Fuck. Please, for the love of everything that is holy, don’t let her trap you.

  “It’s a mix of both. At first, it was only the kids. Sure, I wanted to prove that I wasn’t just an airheaded football player that only does things for publicity, but I also wanted to um…,” he sighs.

  Why is he stopping? That was almost the perfect response.

  “Well, truthfully, I kept coming back for Scout. But that’s not the only reason. Children of The Future is an important organization that should be receiving national backing. Kids all over the country should be able to think of their school grounds as a safe place. Teachers are underpaid enough as it is, so it’s not fair to ask them to stay after hours to take care of kids for no pay. And I wanted to bring more people’s attention to it. That’s one of the main reasons I kept on dedicating my time to Scout and the organization she brought up from nothing.”

  That’s a good answer. A good enough answer. I don’t know why he didn’t stick to his initial train of thought, but that answer works, too.

  “If you feel so strongly about Children of The Future, why is it that you showed up drunk to the charity event, where the organization was trying to raise money.”

  This Lori is very different from the one who welcomed us with a whitened smile and a quick hug. This Lori is here to make sure this video gets views.

  That relaxed grip Bryan was holding my hand with has gone back to its original vice like intensity.

  “I… As I’ve said in previous interviews, what I did that night was inexcusable. It was a stupid mistake I wish I could take back. I’ve apologized before. Publicly and to Scout herself. I can’t remember much about that night, but what I can remember is a promise I made to Scout when I proposed to her.”