“I’m not arguing.”
“No? Because it sounds an awful lot like it if you ask me.”
“Well, I’m not.” Even she knew she was being a bitch, but having Cooper in her house, taking care of her, was too much. She wanted to hate him because it would be easier when he left because they both knew it was only a matter of time before he did.
He being in her home made her want things that would only hurt her in the long run. She was only trying to protect her heart, was that so wrong? But how could she just discount everything he had done for her in the past twenty-four hours? She really just wanted to wrap her arms around him and thank him for not only taking care of her, but for taking care of Tommy, too.
“I’m sorry,” she finally said, letting her tone carry more emotion than she normally would allow. “You don’t deserve my attitude after all that you’ve done for me.”
“It’s okay,” he said, sitting down beside her on the bed. He rested his hand against her cheek, and she pressed into it, loving the warmth of it on her skin.
“I get it,” he said, and she looked up into the blue depths of his eyes, searching for more of an explanation. She didn’t have to search long or hard before he articulated it. “I’m going to leave eventually. I have to. It’s my job. And I know that scares you, but it scares me, too, because now that I know you, I can’t imagine my life without you.”
“This is crazy. We barely even know each other.”
“I know that you’re fiercely independent. Strong willed and driven. That you love your son more than anything on this earth and that you live and breathe for him. I know that you’re an amazing mom, an insanely talented business woman and designer, that you don’t let life knock you down without a fight. You’re stubborn and persistent. You can be cold and hide behind a façade, but that’s only because you sometimes get scared and it’s easier to pretend that you don’t have any weaknesses than admit to the fear. And I know that you’re scared to open your heart to whatever this is between us. But sometimes no matter how hard you try to control something you have to accept that you’re just the passenger and you have no control over what happens next. We can try to stay away from each other, put an end to this, but even if we do, I have a feeling life will keep throwing us in each other’s path. So this is my long-winded way of telling you that I don’t care how much you push me away. How many times you tell me to go away. I’m not leaving. Not yet at least. So let me take care of you. We’ll figure out the rest when that time comes.”
After a speech like that how could she say no? It didn’t matter how long they knew each other—a day, a week, or a year, he knew her better than anyone. He had seen all sides of her, and he hadn’t walked away yet. Why not take each day at a time and, like he said, figure it out when the time came?
“Okay,” she said, and she laughed when his baby blue eyes widened in surprise which only sent her into another coughing fit.
He nudged the bottle of water in her hand, and she took another generous sip.
“You’re really not going to argue with me?”
“No.”
“Really? Because I was prepared. I can go for at least an hour more.”
She smiled and tugged on his shirt, pulling him closer so she could rest her head against his chest. “Save it. I’m sure you’ll need it in the future. For now, I just want to be here.”
***
When Sarah fell asleep, Cooper slipped away and headed to the store to stock up on supplies and extra bags of cough drops. He also made a call to Dr. Stevens and got her an appointment for the next morning. The doctor assumed it was the summer flu which there wasn’t much he could do for, but Cooper didn’t like the sound of Sarah’s cough and made the appointment for her anyway.
He would bet money she’d have something to say about him making her an appointment, but he was ready for that fight. She was an independent and strong woman, and he wasn’t going to let her scare him away because she didn’t know how to let others help her. He was determined to show her it was okay to not always be in control. It would be a long process he was sure of but he was also sure that he was up for the challenge.
His cell phone buzzed in his pocket, and he slipped it out to see who was texting him. He was surprised to see his buddy Gray’s name flash on the screen with a new text. Gray was another travel blogger he had met in Brazil at Lencois Maranhenses National Park while taking in the natural phenomenon of the turquoise lagoons surrounded by beautiful white sand dunes. They had got to talking and wound up travelling together for a few months before going their separate ways.
They had kept in touch over the years, meeting up occasionally when they happened to be in the same place at the same time. Not only did they share a passion for travel but both dreamed of walking the entire length of the Great Wall.
And they were going to do it. They had it planned, emailing each other for months until they’d finally set a date to make it happen. But Gray broke his leg skiing in the Swiss Alps and they had to cancel.
If he was texting now, it only meant one thing: he was ready. Cooper opened the text, knowing what it was going to say before even reading it.
Hey, my man. The Great Wall. This September. You in?
He knew it. Gray said once he was a hundred percent there’d be no stopping him. He was going to do it whether Cooper was in or not.
After doing the math, they figured they could do it in roughly eighteen months, give or take depending on weather. It was a long commitment, and a few months ago Cooper would have jumped at the opportunity. After all, it was an epic adventure—the ultimate check on his bucket list. But now… Eighteen months away from Sarah seemed like a damn lifetime. Would she even wait for him to get back?
He sure as hell wouldn’t expect her to. But how did he turn down the chance to do the one thing that he always wanted to do so badly?
Even after Gray got hurt, Cooper thought about doing it alone once he’d finished backpacking through Europe with a group of people who religiously followed his blog. But then Matt got engaged and Cooper decided to cut short his trip and come home. He hadn’t looked back since. At least not until now.
He needed to give Gray an answer, but he had no idea what that answer was. He stared at his phone as his mind and heart tugged relentlessly back and forth, both parts of each taking different sides and making it impossible for Cooper to make a decision.
Not sure yet. When do you need an answer by?
He sent the text and waited.
Don’t skip out on me now! Leaving second week in September with or without you.
A part of Cooper wanted to say fuck it and just say yes. Why the hell not? But the other part of him refused to let that happen. He typed a quick response.
I’ll let you know.
Then he shoved his phone back in his pocket before he could regret it.
Chapter 14
It had been a week since Sarah had the plague from hell, but she was starting a second round of antibiotics thanks to the upper respiratory infection that was still lingering. She was finally feeling better, though, and was looking forward to catching up on work.
Cooper had taken care of not only her and Tommy, but also fielding her calls and responding to emails when she didn’t have the energy to lift her arms.
She had been panicking over her missed call with Bex Shepard, but apparently Cooper took the call, explained the situation, and in the process completely charmed Bex’s socks off. Bex had sent a beautiful flower arrangement with a get well soon card and a side note to say Cooper was a keeper.
Even over the phone the man was impossible to resist. She shook her head at the thought, smiling with amusement. He was impossible all right. Making a doctor appointment for her without even consenting her, even if she did need to go and probably wouldn’t have until it was really bad, bringing her and Tommy takeout from the Happy Apple so she didn’t have to worry about cooking, picking Tommy up in the morning on his way to camp and bringing him home after.
Impossible, but unbelievably sweet. Each second he spent in her home, he became more and more a part of it. A part of her. She couldn’t imagine going into the kitchen when she was finished working for the day and not seeing him there, unpacking dinner and telling Tommy to go wash up. She couldn’t imagine not kissing him goodnight outside by his truck, beneath the stars because she still hadn’t budged on him sleeping over.
Though, he was breaking down her resolve a little bit more every day. She was scared for Tommy to get too attached. She could manage the broken heart if Cooper decided to leave one day, but she couldn’t handle seeing her son’s heart break and knowing it was her fault for not being more careful about who she’d let into his life.
For now, what they had worked. To Tommy, Cooper was his camp counselor who stopped by to hang out for a while every day. She could deal with that. By not letting him stay the night, she was creating a much needed distance to keep Cooper and Tommy’s bond from becoming too strong that it would hurt Tommy.
Maybe she was being a fool for trying to keep her son from having a male figure in his life or maybe for allowing it knowing that Cooper’s time with them had an unexpected expiration date. She wasn’t sure what was right and what was wrong. All she knew was that she couldn’t push Cooper out of her life. Not again. She wanted to spend as much time with him as she could and take advantage of the now without worrying too much about the future.
Right this second, though, she needed to focus on work. She sat down at her desk with a cup of coffee and wrote a to-do list so she would know exactly what needed to be done and what needed to be tackled first.
Each check off the list was like a weight lifted from her shoulders. By the time she had all but a couple things left to do, she heard the front door open and close and Tommy’s voice carrying down the hallway. “Mom!”
She put the necklace she was working on down and went out to meet him in the kitchen. The first thing she noticed was Cooper casually leaning against the counter, looking effortlessly beautiful, and then her eyes landed on Tommy and the sleeping bag he had his arms wrapped around.
“What’s this?” she asked, nodding toward the sleeping bag.
“Me and Coop are going camping!” he exclaimed, his smile going wide and highlighting the adorable freckles on his cheeks.
“Excuse me?” Sarah asked, knowing that she did not okay this.
Cooper pushed off the counter and walked toward her with purpose, but stopped just shy of acting on the desire in his gaze. “How was your day? You’re looking much better,” he said, giving her that charming smirk, probably hoping to distract her or sugar her up. She wasn’t falling for his trickery.
“Don’t change the subject. Camping, Cooper? Were you planning on asking me?”
Cooper’s lip quirked as if he found her annoyance funny which only annoyed her more. “I believe my exact words, Tommy,” Cooper said, rustling Tommy’s hair, “is that if it was okay with your mother we could set up camp in the backyard tonight.”
Tommy kicked at the ground, clearly aware that he was in the wrong. “Mom, can we? Please? I promise to be good and eat my vegetables for the rest of the summer. And I promise to clean up my messes. Please, Mom. Please?”
“We don’t even have a tent. Unless you plan on roughing it in sleeping bags. And if that’s the case, absolutely not. You’ll both be eaten alive by mosquitoes.”
“I have a tent,” Cooper said.
“Of course you do.”
He shrugged. “That tent was my home many times. It’s a good one. Keeps out the bugs and whatever else is lurking out there in the fenced in backyard. And you are more than welcome to join us.”
“Yeah, Mom. Come on! It’ll be fun. We can roast marshmallows and make s’mores. And tell scary stories.”
“Yeah, come on, Sarah,” Cooper said, and Sarah cut him a look.
“You want to hype him up on sugar and then scare him with stories? Sounds like a bad combination if you ask me.”
“Can you stop overthinking things for once and just say yes. It’ll be fun.” Cooper leaned in, his breath grazing the sensitive skin by her ear. “We both know how much you love fun,” he said as he pulled back, leaving her in his delicious scent, heat running through her veins and right to her core.
She swallowed, forcing the sensations and emotions down. There was a time and a place and in front of Tommy was definitely not either.
“Please, Mom!” Tommy pressed his hands together then dropped to his knees in a desperate plea.
“Okay,” she said and laughed when Tommy threw his arms in the air. He jumped up, giving Cooper a high five.
“I’ll go get everything together,” he said, running from the kitchen.
Once he was out of sight, Sarah turned to Cooper. “Is this your way of getting around the no sleepover rule?”
His hand snaked around her waist, hauling her tight against him. “Maybe.”
She could feel the bulge in his pants against her center, and if Tommy wasn’t in the other room she would have dropped to her knees and showed Cooper just how much she loved a little fun. Instead she placed her hand on his chest and looked up into his eyes.
“What’s the matter?” he asked, tucking her hair behind her ear. “I promise to stay on my side of the tent.”
She laughed. “It’s not that.”
“Then what is it?”
“Tommy’s getting attached to you, and I’m worried.”
“Don’t be.”
“How can I not be? For the past seven years, I have done everything in my power to protect him. If he gets too attached and you leave, what kind of mother does that make me for not protecting him from the disappointment?”
The look in Cooper’s eyes said things she couldn’t quite read; it worried her.
“Hey,” he finally said, tilting her chin up so he was looking directly into her eyes. “I’ll never disappoint him. Even if I have to go I won’t just leave him behind… or you. I probably should have told you sooner, but I’m not easy to get rid of.”
“Do you plan on leaving soon?” she asked, hating how fearful she sounded.
He ran a hand over his face like he needed a second to think then let out a slow breath. Before he could say anything, Tommy came barreling in the kitchen with his pillows and two bags filled with toys.
“Where do you think you’re going with all that?” Sarah asked, her hand landing on her hip as she turned to him.
“Outside,” he said a look of pure confusion on his face. “We’re camping, aren’t we?”
“I got this,” Cooper said, holding his hand up to Sarah as he knelt down to Tommy’s level. “If you bring all of that, we’re not going to fit in the tent, buddy. Besides, when you’re camping you are roughing it. No toys, no TV, or computers. Just us, our sleeping bags, and the night.”
“I can’t bring any toys?” His lips curved downward, and Sarah watched as Cooper fell into Tommy’s web.
“How about just one.”
“Two, and we have a deal.” Tommy held his hand out waiting for Cooper to shake it. Cooper hesitated for a second, pretending to ponder Tommy’s negotiation.
“Deal,” Cooper finally said and took Tommy’s hand. “Now pick two and go put the rest back where they belong.” Cooper rustled Tommy’s hair again, and Tommy spun around.
“Yes, sir,” he yelled as he took off.
“Wow,” Cooper said, turning back to Sarah. “He really is your son.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“He knows how to get what he wants.”
“No, he just has you wrapped around his little finger.”
Cooper cupped her face, stroking his thumb gently against the apple of her cheek. “Then that makes two of you.” He kissed her softly and sweetly, but within seconds it turned desperate and raw.
She tried to control the carnal urges that flared up inside her, but with each slide of his tongue against hers, each gentle graze of his hand against her breast,
she was having a hard time remembering why she wouldn’t let him sleep over.
She was reminded as soon as she heard Tommy come into the kitchen. Before they could break apart Tommy cried out, “Eww.”
Cooper laughed, but Sarah was absolutely mortified. She quickly brushed away the embarrassment and turned to the cabinets. “I’m thinking s’mores,” she said.
***
The blush that crept up Sarah’s neck and fanned out across her cheeks when Tommy discovered them was absolutely adorable. But as cute as it was, Cooper didn’t want her to be uncomfortable in her own home because of him. He promised her while Tommy was around he would keep his distance, and that’s what he planned to do.
It was going to be torture being in a small confined tent with her and not being able to touch her, but he would suffer to prove to her he was capable of honoring her wishes. He might not have liked the rules, but he understood them.
Especially now that there was a possibility he might be leaving on an eighteen-month trek across the Great Wall, he didn’t want to give Tommy false hope. The kid was abandoned before he was born, and Cooper didn’t want another male to let him down.
But who the hell was he fooling? He could sit there and pretend that by keeping his distance from Sarah that they were protecting Tommy, but at the end of the day it had nothing to do with the two of them. It had to do with the bond that he and Tommy had developed over the summer together.
Cooper didn’t think he liked kids, but the truth was, he had more fun with Tommy than he did with people his own age. If only he could pack them up and bring them with him then he could have the best of both worlds. But not everybody’s life was as restriction free and mobile as his. Tommy needed to go to school, and Sarah had a growing business to tend to. Not like she’d even agree to something if she didn’t. Her life was all about structure and schedules, she wouldn’t last a day out in the world with him since he rarely had a plan.
He turned back to her rising on tiptoes, her bare legs showing in a pair of linen shorts that were just short enough to tease him. For a moment, he just watched her as she went from one cabinet to the next, putting her calf muscles on display with each lift.
Catching Cooper (Red Maple Falls, #4) Page 13