“Honore, I thought we were friends,” I added, my disappointment apparent.
“You might want to go after him before we find him in the next county still running for his life,” gesturing toward Jonathan’s departing figure with a twitch of his head. “This might take a while, so tell the cook not to hold supper for us.” Jude turned his horse around and headed for the woods.
“He really doesn’t know when to stop,” I said to Jude, trying my best to look guileless. “You know, I wasn’t really going to hurt him,” I added under my breath, “not much anyway.” A pout forming on my lips as I crossed my arms defiantly, and settled in against his hardened chest.
“What did he say to get you so worked up, my love?” A small chuckle escaping as he cleared his throat trying to cover up the fact that he was laughing at me.
“He has been pushing the boundaries for two days now. Don’t ask me what made me snap because I can’t really define it. I have felt on edge for days now and I don’t know why.”
“I think I might have the cure. If it doesn’t work, I may have to throw you in the cold lake,” Jude declared.
“Don’t joke about it, Jude. You know I don’t like the water,” I said, a shiver running down my spine.
Stopping his horse, he tilted my face up to his.
“I truly didn’t mean it that way. I would never hurt you. Do you trust me?” His eyes sober as they looked at me.
“Yes, of course. I believe you. Just don’t talk about water now. It terrifies me,” I answered begrudgingly, looking down at my hands.
We rode for a little while in silence. I didn’t pay attention to where we were headed, lost in my own thoughts.
Finally he broke the silence. “Anna was telling me about this place in the woods and she conveniently gave me a key and told me that I might have need of a quiet place, seeing how the manor house is so full at the moment.”
“I can’t believe she really told you about this place.” My head snapped up, realizing just where we were. “Jude Deveraux, are you trying to seduce me?” I asked as a decadent smile formed.
“Unless you have any objections, ma amour, consider this fair warning.” His French accent suddenly becoming more pronounced. A devilish smile played on his lips as the promise of what was to come lingered between us.
Sliding down the leather saddle into Jude’s waiting arms, anticipation sent goose bumps throughout my body. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I touched his lips with my finger outlining every sensuous curve of them as he stood there holding me.
I was mesmerized by him as he captured my mouth with his, my breath catching in my throat. A sigh of desire mixed with his groan of longing.
“I have been waiting all week to do that,” Jude whispered close to my ear as he carried me toward the door. I kissed his neck and nibbling his ear, as I felt him shiver. “I will never get this door opened if you keep that up,” he scolded. But I refused to stop.
“Is it your intent that I take you right here on this porch?” Jude asked as he put me down on the ground so he could use both hands on the lock.
I started to pull his shirt from his breaches, but he secured my hands behind my back with one swift move, while still working the key in the lock.
Kicking the door open he picked me up, shutting the door behind him with the heel of his boot. My eyes searched his face, intense determination etched on it. He was of one mind and he would not be deterred.
The light in the small hunting lodge was dim from surrounding trees blocking the daylight.
“Stay right there just a minute,” he said as he searched about the room for something to light the lanterns.
Finding the flint, he lit the lanterns by the bedside and then the fireplace. Soft flames cast a dim light about the room and set a very seductive atmosphere.
“Why did you light the lanterns?” I asked feeling a bit shy about the brightness of the room.
“I need to see you. Nay, I desire to see your face,” he answered with passion in his tone. “I must see all of you when I make love to you.” His eyes shone with intensity when he crossed the room to where I stood, quivering with anticipation, his words eliciting emotions in me. “I need to feel you and see you. I wish to remember every inch of you as I bring you into womanhood,” His words touched a chord inside of me so tense and taut I thought I would snap. “Ma belle Ange.” The word spoken so tenderly, his seductive voice made me ache for his touch.
He ran his hands through my hair as he removed the pins, letting them drop to the floor one by one. My hair tumbled down about my shoulders. Reaching out I shoved his coat from his arms, letting it fall to the floor, my need building with each passionate kiss he rained on my face and mouth.
“There is no need to rush, ma petite minette.” His words meant to sooth and calm me had the opposite affect.
I loved it when he spoke French, but his words neither soothed nor calmed me. Oh, contraire mon coeur, my heart. His words only drove me wild, igniting a fire deep inside of me that burned for every wanton touch, smell and taste of him.
He sat me on the bed, removed first one shoe and then the other. Reaching up my thigh, while looking intently into my eyes he pulled my stockings off slowly. The sensation of his hands sliding along my inner thigh caused tiny ripples of pleasure. Closing my eyes, I drank in each new sensation. I felt him pull me to my feet then turn me around. Slipping my riding jacket from my back, he tossed it to the floor. Then moving my hair to one side, he began nibbling my neck while his hands worked to undo the buttons of my riding habit.
It was pure torture not being able to touch him. I tried to turn around but each time he would push me back to the same position.
“Why do you torture me so?” My desire was evident in the husky tone of my voice.
“I am teaching you patience, my love,” his words steady and strong while he slowly and deliberately finished with his task. Pushing the outfit from my shoulders, it fell to the floor in a pool of material.
He caressed and kissed the nape of my neck and shoulders from behind. Each touch was sweet, agonizing bliss as I closed my eyes and leaned my head back. My breathing coming in short shallow intakes of air as he finally turned me around to face him.
Staring up into his eyes as he pulled the shirt over his head, I felt a thrill shoot through my entire being, mesmerized by his magnificent muscles, taut and firm. Each line was enhanced and defined by the shadow cast by the lantern’s light. All the while we made eye contact, which only heightened the intimacy we shared.
Untying the strings of my slip, he reached his hand under the thin material to cup the round fullness of my breast. He teased my nipples with his thumb as I stared longingly into his eyes.
I unfastened his breeches as his manhood strained against the material. Pushing them off his hips, I ran my hands over his muscular hips pulling him up against me as I marveled at the size of it.
“I need you to trust me, my love. Can you do that?” Cupping my face in his hands, I looked deep into his limpid sapphire orbs. I could feel my heart pounding in my throat.
“I trust you completely, mon amour,” I said boldly.
My slip hit the floor and I stood before him bathed in the soft glow of the lanterns, unashamed and eager for whatever came next. I desired him with every breath I took.
Lifting me in his arms, he lay me across the bed, his nakedness straddling mine.
I ran my fingers through his hair while his mouth captured my breasts, sucking and licking till they tingled. The sensation of his mouth so intimate and warm on my body caused tiny moans of pleasure to escape. Rippling sensations started to pool in my stomach.
His mouth rained tiny kisses down my stomach as his hand rubbed my inner thigh. Arching my back instinctively, I called out to him as my breathing became even more shallow.
Inching his way back up to capture my lips passionately then nuzzling my ear. “Open your legs to me,” he whispered hovering over me as I obeyed.
“I want to see al
l of you,” his words were filled with such passion.
I felt his lips kissing my inner thigh and I stiffened. “Ma chere, I would not hurt you. I only wish to bring you pleasure. Do not deny me this.”
His fingers working the inner depths of my valley as glorious warmth began to spread. His mouth kissing me in so intimate a way, and yet I did not feel horror or shame. Instead I felt my body writhing from the unbelievable sensations he was eliciting, like lightning bolts shooting all through my body. I had never felt more alive than I did at that very moment. Tiny cries of ecstasy escaped my lips my breath ragged and harsh. “Please,” was all I could say.
My entire body felt taut as I arched my back and thrust my hips. I wanted to scream, but I couldn’t.
He was now hovering over me, the marvelous smell of his body driving me wild. My hands now searched out the object that would release me from my torture. Desire making me bolder now I locked eyes with Jude as I instinctively guided him to me. Lifting my hips to meet his, I saw caution in his eyes.
“There is no going back from here,” his words grave as he fought to keep control.
“I don’t care. I need you now!” I cried urgently.
“You are a she devil,” caution now gone from his eyes, replaced instead with a burning passion that matched my own, his lips finding mine kissing me more passionately than before. His hunger was intoxicating as our harsh breathing matched.
A small cry of momentary pain escaping from me and I felt his entire body stiffen and freeze instantly. Reaching up to pull his mouth to mine, I hungrily kissed him as a burning of a different kind took over.
I was sure I couldn’t take any more pleasure, yet I knew something more was just on the other side of one more thrust of his hips.
Deeper and more intense waves of passion began to build inside of me. I could feel him looking at me but I did not care. It felt too good to stop.
His hand brushed hair from my face as I cried out. And then the waves came more intense than I could have ever imagined. Again and again as I cried out his name, our hips working in unison. I felt my thighs bathed in warmth and my body convulsed in the ecstasy of glorious release.
Our sweat-drenched bodies lay entangled, melting into each other, every breath, every touch heightened.
Rolling to his side, he pulled me with him. Our legs entwined together my head resting on his chest, exhausted yet exhilarated at the same time.
“Is it always like that?” I asked.
“Like what?” Jude answered, looking at me through heavy lids.
“You know. So incredible. I didn’t know it could be like that.”
“No, my love. I have never experienced what we just did before.” Then he got a funny look on his face. “What I mean to say is I have had sex before. That was not sex. I just made love to you. We just made love to each other. There is a difference.”
“Well then, explain it to me because I don’t understand.” I propped my head on my hands as I looked down at him.
“I can try but I don’t know if it is easy to explain,” he said, placing his arms behind his head so he could look at me. “The French have a term. Fou d ‘amour or le grand amour. Madly in love or the grand love, either way its meaning is true love. The one great love of your life. To express your true emotions for someone through something as intimate as what we just did is making love. To call what we did sex only cheapens it. Sex is something you have with a stranger to feel some kind of pleasure,” he explained cocking an eyebrow at me. “You see?”
“I am not sure.” Puzzled more now than before.
“I will explain it to you later. Right now my mind is in a fog and my eyes won’t stay open.” He turned on his side tucking me into his arm, then kissed my forehead and both eyes before he drifted off to sleep.
I lay awake pondering his words. Was he saying that he loved me? Most women would be thrilled and elated, but I felt ambiguous. Certainly, I had never expected to experience anything like this in my wildest dream. And I truly enjoyed his presence. He was intelligent, adventurous, and very handsome to look at. He didn’t treat me as a lesser class of human being because I was not privileged to be born a man. I had to hand it to him, he had a lot going in his favor.
And yet I still pondered the age old question. Is he really that perfect? Would he change if I committed myself to him? And what part of myself would I be required to give up to have him in my life?
The hard questions began to make my head pound. No, I would not think of such things now. I simply wished to bask in the simple joy of being. I did truly feel elated and relaxed. So instead of pondering the hard questions, I inhaled his scent deeply, sighing contentedly as I always did when I thought of the way he kissed me. I closed my eyes and drifted off to slumber, safely tucked in his arms as he tightened them about my waist. I would ponder later. Now was too perfect a moment to worry.
Waking with a start, I had a feeling of foreboding again in the pit of my stomach. Frantically, I searched about for Jude but he wasn’t there. Was it all a dream? The sleep induced fog slowly lifting from my mind, I began to get my bearings.
My habit and slip neatly lay at the foot of the bed, but Jude was nowhere to be found. Placing the slip over my head, I attempted to comb my fingers through my hair. All the while, the feeling of dread hung in the air.
Jude opened the door and I jumped.
“It’s only me, my love. Why do you look as if you’ve just seen a spirit?” Jude asked, coming over to where I stood. “You’re shaking, my angel.” Concern laced his words, as he wrapped his arms about me.
“I’m fine, really the room is just chilly, nothing more,” I said, trying to convince myself.
“Then we must get you dressed, although I prefer what you wore earlier,” he said with a devilish glint. Leaning down he slanted his head, kissing my lips long and passionately.
“Jude Deveraux, you will completely corrupt me if I let you,” I said, looking at him as I tried to sound stern. “We had better get back to the house before a search party is sent out to look for us.”
“Your stallion awaits, my lady, and your hand maiden is here.”
“You sent for Anna?” I questioned with fear in my voice as I looked around him.
“No, my love, I meant me, I will help you dress. Not as much fun as taking them off but it can have its benefits.” He rakishly smiled while reaching for my riding habit.
“How are you with hair?” I asked, smiling back.
An hour later, we were ready to leave, one last look back to make sure all was in order. The lanterns extinguished, the bed hastily made and my hairpins back in place. Yes, everything was in order. So why was my stomach still tied up in knots?
Stepping out onto the porch I locked the door and placed the key into my pocket. The hair on the back of my neck was standing on end. I was overcome by an eerie feeling that someone was watching every move I made.
I turned to find the tree line filled with shadowy figures. The sun was down, and I couldn’t see beyond the clearing, but I could feel him.
Patting the dagger in my pocket that I always carried with me brought some small comfort as I forced myself to put one foot in front of the other.
Jude helped me up and climbed into the saddle behind me. “Ready?” he asked as he leaned down to kiss my ear tenderly.
Smiling up at him, a shiver crawled up my spine. But it wasn’t from his kiss.
12
SUNDAY, JUNE 5, 1763;
PARLIAMENT IS BACK IN SESSION AND
THE SEASON GOES ON
ATHER AND UNCLE JAMIE HAD returned from a very profitable exporting expedition. Uncle Nicholas was back at home in the evenings now, so Aunt Victoria had returned home to London with Albert, Andrew, and Emma in tow.
I would be making the long trip to London comfortably seated in the carriage next to Mother and my best friend, Sarah. Everything was packed. The carriages were loaded and Dante was secured to the back for the trip.
Sarah had been stayi
ng with us for the last week because her parents needed to return to the city early for the opening of parliament. I was happy for the distraction to keep my mind occupied. The feeling of looming foreboding woke with me each morning and lasted all day.
Honore and Jude had left for Manchester four days ago after receiving a letter delivered by horseman from his father. No other explanation was given except that it was urgent and I had not heard a word from him since. I was a mess and needed routine along with calm, tranquil surroundings.
The arduous preparation for a trip to London, while waiting for the other shoe to drop, was neither calming nor tranquil.
Father hired a guard detail of ten well-armed men to accompany us to London. Depending on their performance, Father was considering keeping the men round the clock until he deemed it safe. The leader of the group was an older, but well-formed muscular man of refinement.
“Ladies, my name is General Moore. You may address me as General or Sir. I am here to inform you of a few guidelines that will make the trip safer for everyone. First we will make one and only one stop on our journey to London unless there is an emergency,” he said informatively, as he paced back and forth in front of us like the general that he was, addressing his troops.
“We will be taking one of three possible routes and the only one who knows that route is yours truly,” he pointed to himself with his riding crop. “Not even Lord Stewart knows which way we will be traveling.”
“I will thank you to stay in the carriage at all times until we open the door for you. And if possible you will need to keep the curtains closed.” Finishing this sentence, he stopped looking at us pointedly. “If you have need of one of us at any time during the trip, you will simply hang this red strip of material from the window and we will assist you,” he said, presenting a large strip of red cotton material to Mother.
“If there are any problems along the way the drivers have been instructed to drive like Satan himself were on their tails and head for the nearest inn. Are there any questions, ladies?” Looking at each of us and seeing no objections, he gestured toward the carriage door.
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