by K. M. Raya
∞∞∞
Freya woke with a start and the realization that the moon had been replaced with the sun streaming through her window. Her heart was racing and her mouth felt as dry as a desert. As she sat up on the bed, she startled when she locked eyes with a short girl sitting cross legged on the bed across from her.
"Are you alright?" The small blonde asked. "You were breathing really hard and I thought about waking you but I didn't want to get punched or anything."
Freya blanched at the girls forwardness but shook her head. "I'm alright. Just a dream is all." She looked at the girl and figured that this was her other roommate. Another girl she had never seen before.
"I'm Phee, if you're wondering. You're Freya Lockwood," she said as a matter of fact.
"I'm sorry, how do you know my name?" She asked and the girl laughed humorlessly.
"Everyone knows your name apparently, I was told as much every time I asked someone about my cabin." She smirked and it irritated Freya. She hated that she was a household name.
She sighed deeply and just nodded. "You're not wrong though, and I’ll tell you the same thing I told Samantha, you might wanna look for another roommate," she mumbled as she threw off her quilt and headed to the bathroom. Sam was nowhere to be seen.
After a long shower in which she used most of the hot water just to piss off Phee, she dried her hair with a towel and let her long pitch black strands air dry into loose waves that now touched her hip bone. Her grey eyes were haunted and hollow as they stared back at her from the mirror. Her bottom lip was slashed through with a tiny, unsightly silver scar that made her frown every time she looked at it.
She rubbed a small dab of lotion into the damaged skin of her leg and winced as she noticed fresh bruising around her kneecaps. The fall the night before had not been easy and she feared the damage it may have caused to the tissue beneath the skin.
She left the bathroom in a pair of jeans and a black Wolf Mountain shirt that she bought the previous summer. It still fit, but with the weight she had lost recently, it hung a bit looser on her frame than it had before. She remembered the days where losing weight had been the goal, but now she just felt sickly.
She headed out the door in search of some breakfast. She hadn't eaten since picking at her moms food the morning before and could now rightfully devour a cow. The dining hall was situated in the center of the camp, a large log cabin type structure with an open deck on the roof where the counselors liked to eat. Freya entered the building and tried to prepare herself for the glares she was bound to receive.
Sure enough, a soda can sailed through the air the moment the door closed behind her and smacked her in the side of the head. She stumbled a bit but caught her balance. A few people giggled and some boys off to the side badly attempted to look around in every direction save for hers.
She ignored them and gathered some food— a simple apple, a box of orange juice and a single slice of toast. Her appetite from a few moments ago had disappeared altogether and all she wanted to do was flee the stifling room. Eyes tracked her as she headed towards the doors and whispers followed but in just moments she was free. She gulped in a heavy breath of mountain air and walked quickly down the dirt path between the boys and the girls cabins.
She ate alone in her cabin and found that both of her roommates were long gone for the day. She decided to unpack while she had the place to herself. While she busied herself with stowing away her folded clothes, she failed to hear the cabin door open behind her. Chills snaked down her arms and she knew that somebody was behind her.
Turning around, Freya's eyes clashed with Sebastian's dark blue ones— so filled with rage and unfathomable pain it made her want to be sick. She jumped backwards but smacked her knee into the side of the dresser causing her to stifle a groan and a wince. Sebastian noticed, but other than a flicker of his eye, didn't mention it.
"What the hell are you doing here?" He asked darkly. His voice was low and she couldn't tell if it was devoid of emotion, or filled with too much.
She looked at her bare feet as she spoke, afraid to meet his rage filled gaze. "I-I didn't have a choice. You know how my parents..."
"I don't give a fuck about your parents. Do you know what my parents are doing right now?" He raised his voice higher now and she winced. "My mom is drinking herself into a stupor and my father hasn't left the hospital or been home in months!"
She stared at him in shock. Months? His father had worked closely with Freya’s parents at their law firm for about fifteen years and she had known Janice and Ron since she was a toddler. They were serious folks— they loved their children but were never overly attentive. They were driven and busy, just like her parents.
"I'm so sorry, I don't even know what to say to you...Carmen—" she started to say but he cut her off before she had the chance. He moved closer to her, pinning her against the wall.
It wasn't playful.
It wasn't flirty.
It was threatening.
"Don't." He paused and lowered his voice once more. It was almost worse than when he yelled. "You don't get to say her name, bitch. You don't get to say my sisters name ever again. She deserves so much better than your pathetic excuses." He gazed into her eyes with all the fires of hell blazing behind them. "If I had my way, you'd never be allowed say anything again. To anyone."
Tears spilled from her eyes as the boy she had loved for so long hurled those hurtful words to her but she knew that she wasn’t crying for herself. Everything he said was the truth. She didn't deserve to say her name. She didn't deserve to be here when Carmen wasn't.
"I don't know what to tell you," She sobbed into her hands. "Do you really think if I had a choice I’d actually ask to be here? Do you think they even gave me that option? My mom doesn’t want me and dad won't even look at me!" She yelled back at him.
Her voice rose as her anger did. His eyes widened slightly at her outburst before shuttering immediately. She’d never been one to lash out, always the sweet, shy one while Carmen was the outgoing leader.
His face turned to stone in an instant as an expression of disgust and contempt overcame his handsome, familiar features. His blonde hair had grown to his shoulders since the last time she had seen him. He looked so handsome but so utterly broken.
"Just stay out of my way this summer. Can you manage that?" He growled.
"I'll do my best...but I need you to know how sorry I am. You never answered any of my calls or texts. I’ll leave you alone but you need to know that at least," She begged him as he finally pulled back and released her from his cage.
Sebastian turned on his heel and stormed to the door. Just before he took his final leave, he turned to her one last time.
"If she ever wakes up, I hope to God you have a good excuse."
Freya
The next week passed unremarkably. Freya had taken to spending most days holed up in the cabin with her books for company.
Sam and Phee seemed to be getting on pretty well and she was glad they had each other. She found herself wishing that she could join them in the mornings as they dressed for the lake and set out for a day of fun in the sun. She mourned her old life as if it were some long forgotten era and not a place she had been only a year prior. So much had changed in such a short span of time that she felt as if she were living the life meant for somebody else.
After finishing up her latest novel, she decided a walk might be good. She needed to get some fresh air if she didn't want to go insane. The sun was beginning to set and the sky began to turn a glorious shade of purple. It was Freya's favorite time of the day because everything was calm while her mind was anything but. She found herself at the edge of the lake, watching the water glitter under the stars that had slowly started poking through the dimming sky.
The beach was empty as most of the campers were heading to dinner or the Amphitheater for a bonfire. The night was chilly but it didn't bother her, if anything the bite of the wind seemed to wake her up. As she toed the water,
memories of years past tried to creep in. Carmen's giggles while she did cartwheels in the sand and Mina's shrieks as her boyfriend of the moment tossed her into the cold lake. She could smell the sunscreen that she would slather over her pale skin and taste the lake water that never failed to funnel its way up her nose. Her senses were overloaded and her mind lost in nostalgia. It was bittersweet and she was having trouble reconciling happiness with overwhelming sorrow.
Without a second thought, Freya ran. Diving into the dark water, she relished the sting of it on her skin. She swam out into the deep water quickly and quietly until she reached the dock. Grasping the metal latter, she waited a moment before hauling herself up. Her breathing was heavy and she could see the little puffs of white as her hot breath hit the frozen air. It was stupid to be out there alone, but she didn't care in the slightest. She laid there for a few moments, staring into the sky as the last of the light faded away. This was her happy place. Alone with the stars and stay from the fallout.
A loud splash startled her as two large hands slapped onto the top of the dock next to her legs. Freya scrambled backwards as a dark shadow lifted from the water and a wet body landed next to her.
A boy.
No.
A man, she thought. He was very tall and he wore what looked like a black wet-suit which was completely strange. His hair was black, or dark brown from what she could tell and buzzed close to his head.
"Uh," she managed to say and felt like an idiot. She wouldn't show it, but she was uncomfortable. Stranded in the dark with a stranger.
The man raised his hands in a pacifying manner before speaking. "I didn’t mean to freak you out...I saw you dive into the water and I had to come and check on you."
" Why are you out here in the dark? And is that a wetsuit?" She asked as her breathing began to even out. Up close, he didn’t seem so threatening.
The man...or boy, she couldn't tell because by the light of the moon he looked closer to nineteen or twenty, cocked his head and smirked. "I'm on lifeguard duty tonight and got the night shift. The names Maverick, I'm a student counselor," He explained.
"Uh, okay. Well I’m fine, just wanted to be alone for a little while," She explained but didn't know what else to say. Damn she was getting awkward.
Maverick moved closer and lowered himself next to her as he unzipped his wet-suit and peeled it down around his hips. She tried not to stare from the corner of her eye but it was next to impossible. She could see now that he had a piercing in his right eyebrow and another on his lip. They sat in semi comfortable silence until she began to shiver. Her leggings and t-shirt stuck to her skin uncomfortably and her arms were covered in goosebumps. The night was cooling down even more and every moment that passed she began to regret her impulsive decision.
Maverick cleared his throat. "So are we gonna to mention the fact that you're fully clothed, shivering on a dock in the middle of a dark lake by yourself?"
She huffed humorlessly "I'd rather not to be honest. I really am fine, you can go do your thing...or whatever it is you lifeguards do all night."
Who was this nosy lifeguard?
"What's your name, oh frozen one?" He joked and for a moment, she had to suppress an actual chuckle.
"Freya...I'll be a senior at Madsen Prep this year," she supplied only because he made her feel something like humor again after months of nothingness.
"Well whatever’s bothering you can't really be bad enough to make you risk your life on a regular basis, can it? Will I have to come out here every night looking for you?"
She frowned at him.
‘How dare he assume anything about what's 'bad enough.'
"No offense, Mr. Lifeguard but you don't know anything about me."
"Look," He deadpanned with a frown. "Whatever's going on with you is your business but I won't be responsible for you drowning in the lake, because that is my business. Let's get you back to shore."
Standing from his position next to her, he held out a hand for her to take. He watched her as she remained seated, making no move to follow his command. He sighed.
"Alright, I guess we're hanging out here for a while, might as well get comfortable," he said as he laid back and tossed his arms behind his head.
"Don't worry yourself on my behalf, I was practically raised here, I can find my way back just fine."
"That's nice and all, but I'm not leaving until you do," he promised— making himself comfortable. She was torn between annoyance and amusement.
Freya just grumbled as they sat in silence. The dock swayed from side to side and it relaxed her tired muscles. Swimming that fast after days of laying in bed had been hard work on her body. Maybe it was a sign that she needed to get out more.
Maverick startled her by speaking suddenly. "I used to be a camper here, you know." He brought his body up and sat beside her once again. "I'm surprised I don't seem to recognize you."
"Well, your what...nineteen? I was probably a freshman the last time you were here," she guessed.
"I'll be twenty this winter, but I feel like I would have remembered someone like you." His brown eyes twinkled with mischief.
This time she snorted. "Flattery will get you everywhere,” she teases, surprising herself.
He chuckled. "I'm serious here okay? I would have seen you around at least, what gives?"
"You wouldn't have noticed me, trust me. Now Carmen and Mina? Them you would remember— they were the beautiful, outgoing ones." She confessed and immediately wished she hadn't.
What was it about this moment that loosened her lips?
"Carmen and Mina? Wait a second...those are the girls from..." He didn't have a chance to finish before she stood suddenly.
"Right, that's them. I need to go now...It was great meeting you, Maverick and I appreciate your concern," She tried to appease him while backing towards the edge.
He reached out a hand to stop her. "Hold on a sec, Freya, I didn't mean to..." But she never heard the rest of the sentence because she launched herself back into the inky black water and swam as fast as she could to shore.
She knew he would follow, but she reached the sand before he had the chance and didn't even bother to grab her sandals before dashing up the beach in search of the trail that would lead her away from probing questions.
Freya
The next morning Freya woke up feeling more rested than she had in quite some time. She still smelled of the lake so she hopped in the shower and dressed in another pair of jeans and a loose black tank.
After slipping on her tennis shoes, she headed towards the dining hall to grab some food. As she approached the building, she cast her eyes upwards and caught sight of a familiar figure standing atop the rooftop deck. It was Maverick, dressed in a counselors uniform of shorts and a black Wolf Mountain shirt. He stood there, speaking casually with another counselor that she recognized from orientation— a pretty blonde girl who was smiling from ear to ear. Freya lowered her eyes and tried to ignore the sour feeling in her stomach after seeing them together. She cursed at herself because she had no business being bitter about it. She didn't know the handsome lifeguard and she had no right to feel possessive of his attention. She put him out of her mind and headed into the hall.
She was early enough that the room was almost empty and the breakfast trays were still steaming hot. She grabbed some bacon and eggs along with a box of orange juice and found a seat at a table near the door. She tried to ignore the fact that her seating choice always happened to be based on a possible escape route. There had been a time not too long ago that she would have been quite content in the center of it all.
Liquid covered her head and dripped down her hair in ice cold waves that had her shoving to her feet to wick it off. As she stumbled, she crashed into a large chest and looked up to see Charlie McDowell, a friend of Sebastian's holding an empty glass in his hand. The brown haired boy wore a look on his face that said it was an accident but the smirk that threatened to break out on his thin lips with every twitch
said otherwise.
Without a word to Charlie, Freya rushed to the salad bar and scooped up as many paper towels as she could manage and attempted to clean herself off, all the while ignoring the laughter that filled the room. She hadn't realized that the dining hall had filled up while she had been absorbed in her breakfast and now she was regretting her attempt to join the outside world.
As she turned to dump her tray, a foot found her path and before she could dodge it, a hard shove to her back pushed her down, causing her cheek to connect with the corner of the table. Laughter became louder as her head spun. She couldn't believe they had taken things this far. It was every cliche high school movie in existence but it was her life now. She didn't want to be the damsel that fled the room with tears in her eyes but blood was now pouring from her battered cheek and onto her jeans. A hand reached out to her and she took it gratefully. Maverick stood over her, letting her weight rest on his strong forearm while she oriented herself.