Wandering Soul

by Steven Anderson

  “Stop! Skip the part about the pigeons. Tell me about us.”

  “You and I will carry on the most loving,” he kissed my shoulder, “romantic,” kiss, “passionate,” kiss, “erotic,” kiss, long distance relationship imaginable. And when you graduate, first in your class naturally, we’ll find a way to be together.”

  “Together.”

  “Yes, maybe on Earth, or a ship, or some planet no one’s heard of yet. It won’t matter. Do you know why?”

  “Because we’ll be together.”

  “Exactly.”

  I kissed him, climbing on top of him to do it. “You better walk me back to my cabin now.”

  “OK.”

  “Because if you don’t, I’m going to do something stupid.”

  “OK.”

  Moving off of him and helping him pack up the blankets and the tent, was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Knowing it was the right thing didn’t make it any easier. I looked around one last time at the simulated cave.

  “Vista, close Carlsbad Caverns, please.”

  We were standing in a brightly illuminated corridor of gray metal. I sighed and looked at Sam. “Thanks. You’re going to have a hard time topping that.”

  “I’ve got a few months to plan before we have an evening together again.”

  He took my hand and we walked back into the main body of the ship.

  I didn’t tell him about the shape I had seen for an instant when the illusion of the cave had vanished and the lights had come back on. For a moment, there had been something close by where the tent had stood, something about the size of a big dog, something that was feeling very satisfied and content.

  CHAPTER 15

  FIGHT OR FLIGHT

  Sam kissed me goodnight at my door, a process that took longer than I expected, but was still too quick. After the door closed behind me, I leaned against it trying to gather the energy to brush my teeth and undress for bed. Parts of me felt sore, and parts were weak, but all of me felt happy. I sighed and took one silent step forward, being careful not to wake Winona.

  “How’s Sam? You didn’t break him, did you?”

  “Shush, Winona’s sleeping,” I told Winona. “We don’t want to wake her.”

  “Come sit beside me. I want to hear everything.”

  I sat on the edge of her bunk. “It’s private.”

  “Uh huh. Your buttons are misaligned.”

  I looked down. “Oops.” I undid five or six and started trying to put them in the right holes. I gave up. “It was dark, and there’s so many of them.”

  Winn patted her pillow. “Come on. Lie down and start talking.”

  I giggled and put my head on the pillow next to hers. “OK, but I’m not going to tell you everything.”

  Between the giggles and the prodding and Winona knowing me better than anyone else, I told her almost everything. “Now let me sleep,” I said at the end. “Really need to sleep.”

  “What about brushing your teeth?”

  I heard the question, but couldn’t answer. I slept with my head on Winona’s pillow until morning.

  “Get up, Duse. It’s almost time for breakfast.”

  “You go.”

  “Come on. They’ll have waffles.”

  “Waffles?”

  “And Sam will be there.”

  My eyes opened. “Right. I should change.”

  “And take a shower. You smell like him.”

  “I do?” I sniffed my arm and smiled. “I do.”

  I showered quickly and dressed simply. A t-shirt and pants were on the top of the box and I didn’t want to waste time digging. Sam wasn’t in the mess hall when we arrived, but they did have waffles and coffee. I was starting to appreciate what a wonderful thing hot caffeine could be in the mornings.

  Winona was less pleased with the breakfast selections. “No hash browns this morning?

  “I’m sorry, Ms. Killdeer,” Vista explained. “There was a theft overnight of almost two thousand kilos of fresh vegetables. All of my potatoes were taken.”

  “Who would steal vegetables?”

  “I wish I knew. My sensors did not record any intruders.”

  Winn was still grumpy about it when my parents got there a few minutes later.

  “Oatmeal and toast. No hash browns.”

  When Winona explained why, Hannah blushed and looked at Dad. I had never seen her blush like that. I didn’t know she could blush.

  “Oh, God, Ted. I knew we shouldn’t have done that last night. It was stupid.” She put her hands over her eyes. “And you with your ribs still healing. Are they OK this morning?”

  “They’re fine. We checked, remember? Every shadow, every corner. We were alone last night.”

  “What are you talking about?” I asked.

  Hannah sighed, looking uncomfortable, but she pressed on. “There’s part of the Tarakana life cycle that requires very intense human emotion.” She looked at Dad. “The kind that only comes when two people who love each other are together. It triggers something in the Tarakana and they start reproducing by binary fission. Let me tell you, it’s not pleasant to watch. They eat a lot during that stage. Mostly vegetables. And they really love potatoes.”

  My hand had come up over my mouth. “There was one with Sam and me last night in the ring corridor.”

  “What did you do, Mala Dusa? Last night, how far did you go?” Hannah had gone pale.

  “Um, not too far. We didn’t…. I’m still…” I wanted to be angry at her for asking, but she was obviously scared and that was rare enough that it carried me right along with her.

  “You knew it was there and you didn’t do anything about it?”

  “I didn’t see it until afterward. What happens now?”

  “Two thousand kilos of food are missing. We never were able to quantify how efficient the conversion process is, but there’s probably more than fifty of them on board now.” She was pushing her hair off of her face and then letting it fall back across her eyes, then pushing it back again. “They’re going to try to follow you onto the Orso Ipato this afternoon. I don’t know how to stop them.”

  “But they’re Merrimac’s colony, so it’s OK. Merrimac is–” They were all staring at me, daring me to say it. I sighed. “It could be worse.”

  Sam came into the mess hall then and gave me a quick good morning kiss on the cheek. “Hey, MD. Did you sleep alright?”

  I had no control over the happy emotions that flowed from that single, simple kiss. It was powerful enough that even Winona felt it; I saw it in her eyes. I swallowed hard. “Yeah, fine. How about you?”

  Winn didn’t give him a chance to answer.

  “Wow!” She turned to my parents. “Did you feel that? That can’t be a normal, average human response for the emotions to go that deep.” She looked at us with her hand on her forehead. “That was… blinding. That must be what the Tarakana are trying to select for. If Sam and Duse can produce that intensity from a quick kiss on the cheek, what must they have created last night?”

  Sam looked confused and angry. “You told them about last night? How could you…”

  Hannah interrupted him. “She hasn’t told us anything. She wouldn’t do that. Two young people in love about to be separated for almost a year? She didn’t have to say a word. Believe me, we remember what that’s like.”

  “There was a Tarakana in the cave with us last night,” I told him as he sat next to me. “Now they’re stealing all of Vista’s potatoes and making a bunch more Tarakana.”

  “It scares me that those things could be related.”

  “It should.” Hannah still looked pale. “I don’t see a way to resolve this. Your ‘friend’ Merrimac has won. He’s beaten me at every turn. I tried to trap him on Wandering Star and instead ended up in prison on Bodens Gate with Steiner.” She p
aused a second with her eyes closed, “And then I almost got us all killed. We think we have a blood sample, but that’s almost certainly fake. Will we make it back to Earth if we take Orso Ipato tonight? Sure, if it serves the interests of the Tarakana.”

  She pushed back from the table. “I’m going to the gym with my new sword. There’s a combatives sim I’ve been wanting to try.”

  After she left with Dad, Winn turned to me, “I know you’re not related by blood, but I can tell she raised you.”

  “Thanks.”

  “What should we do with the rest of the day, Duse? We aren’t scheduled to board the Orso Ipato until 1500.”

  “Try to stay out of trouble,” I sighed.

  Sam started laughing. I looked up at him from my coffee.

  “Admit it, MD. That was funny.”

  Winona smiled at him. “Come on, Mala Dusa. Let’s get out of here and cause trouble somewhere. It’s what you’re good at.”

  “Wait a minute! I want to finish my last sip of coffee first, and…” I reached across the table, “eat your last piece of toast.” I stood and ate the toast while we left the mess hall.

  Winn lowered her voice and told him, “That’s why I always take extra. You should too, if you’re going to be around her at meal time.”

  “You’re really funny today. Where do you want to go?”

  “Space dock. I need a new souvenir since you spent all my coins.” She tipped her head. “Maybe a sword.”

  “Great. Do you even know which end to hold?”

  “Hannah will teach me. You should get one too, then she can teach both of us on the trip home.”

  “OK. And one for Sam, so he can defend himself from me when he gets back.” I grinned at him. “Because I’m going to attack you.”

  “I had fencing at the Academy. You better practice a lot if you want to beat me.”

  “I’ll have Winn by my side. Think you take both of us?”

  “It sounds like it would be fun to try. Maybe I’ll bring reinforcements.”

  I giggled and took his hand. “That won’t be until we’re graduating. God, how will I make it that long? It’s an eternity. Winona, how many months are there in an eternity?”

  “Nine or ten, in this case.”

  I looked at Sam smiling at me. Blue eyes. Then everything went dim and there was a voice in the back of my head. I stopped walking and listened.

  “That might work,” I whispered. “Are you sure they wouldn’t just… Oh. Of course. But I don’t want to have to choose, please don’t make me choose.”

  Something cold was pressing on the back of my neck and I squinted at Sam. “Blue eyes,” I told him. I was sitting at a table near a sidewalk café. “Again?”

  “Again,” Winona confirmed. “You were talking, but not making any sense. Tarakana?”

  I nodded.

  “What were they telling you?”

  “I don’t remember,” I lied.

  “Damn it, Mala Dusa, they are not your friends. I’m your friend.” She took her hand and seemed about to tap me hard on the forehead, then frowned and leaned forward and kissed me instead. “Say it, tell me I’m your friend.”

  “Winona Killdeer, you are my best, and until Sam, only friend. You’re the only one in the universe who I know will put up with all the stupid things I do. I love you more than life.”

  She put her arms over my shoulders and pressed her head against mine. “That’s my Mala Dusa. Now, what did they put into your head?”

  “I promise I’ll tell you,” I glanced at Sam, “both of you. Let me sort it out a bit first. When they do that to me, it gets all jumbled and I need to think about it, OK?”

  “No, not OK. You see that look in her eyes, Sam? That’s the look she gets when she thinks she’s her mom, her real mom and can come up with some complex plan that manipulates all of her friends in to doing what she wants. She forgets that all she has to do is ask.” Winn turned her back to me.

  “Sam? Please give me a few hours. When we get lunch I’ll tell you everything, I promise.” I smiled at him, trying to look as desperate as I felt.

  “Will a couple of hours make a difference?” he asked Winona.

  “We should take her somewhere and force it out of her.” She sighed. “Fine. But I want to buy a sword. I think I’m going to need it.”

  We walked for a while, exploring the main concourse of the space dock and window shopping.

  “Why no firearms?” Sam asked. “Swords are so…”

  “Archaic?” Winona finished for him.

  “I was going to say messy. Personal. I’m pretty good at hitting a target hundreds of meters away with the right rifle. Being close enough to,” he reached his arm out, “… you know? I’m not sure how I’d react to that.”

  Winona looked around at the different shops and people hustling by on their way on or off planet. “They’re probably available, if we knew which unmarked door to knock on.”

  “I don’t doubt it. I imagine they worry about the type of ammunition too. Punching holes through the walls would be bad.”

  We stood in front of Strong Blade, Ltd. for a couple of minutes, watching the video clip that was looping underneath the sign. It was of a young woman talking to a crowd of people in the Warrens. There were captions at the bottom of the display, translating her words. I didn’t need to read them though, because I still remembered what I had said.

  Winona turned to me. “Well, that should get us a discount, I would think.”

  I pushed past her and entered the shop, standing up straight with my shoulders back, just like Winona always told me to do when I wanted to be taken seriously.

  The proprietor smiled at us. “Ah, I had prayed that you would return, and now here you are. My lady is not with you, or the handsome man who loves her?”

  “No, my mother,” I paused just a fraction of a second for emphasis, “told us to come. My friend and I have never used a sword, but she wants to teach us. She said you could suggest what would be appropriate for each of us and give us a fair price.”

  I glanced at Winona, who was looking proud of me, and at Sam, who was trying to look fierce and determined. He was adorable.

  “And what about you?” she asked him. “Certainly you know how to hold a sword in your hand and put it to good use.”

  He blushed, but gave her a straight answer. “I have four years training with the foil.”

  “Earth,” she sighed, “and Dulcinea. Such peaceful, civilized places they must be.”

  “Not at the moment.”

  “So I’ve heard,” she nodded. “A time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. Here, it seems, there is always plenty of time for hate.”

  She squinted at me, took my right hand, and pulled on my arm. “For you, I think the rapier. Your arm is long; that will make it longer. And for your friends, the gladius.” She looked at Winona and Sam. “With practice, it will become part of you, and you will feel naked when it’s not close by your side. Let us see what I have in stock.”

  It took more than an hour for her to find the right sword for each of use, show us how to hold and care for it, and tell us something of the history and lore of each one’s use by the clans in the Warrens.

  When I put my hand on the reader to pay for it all, Sam whispered in my ear, “Your mom’s going to kill you, you know.”

  “Now I can defend myself,” I smiled back at him.

  He kissed my cheek. “She’ll probably just settle for killing me instead, and maybe Winona for not stopping you.”

  “No one can stop me.” I had meant it as a flippant remark, but I felt the woman grab my hand.

  “Are you going back? The clans are close to uniting, but they need someone to lead them, someone to stand where her statue once stood and say the words they need to hear. You’ve no idea how close you
came.”

  I tried to pull back from her, but she held tight.

  “No, I can’t. I just… can’t right now.”

  She squeezed my hand hard. “Soon, then. Go carefully, you and your friends, and tell her that I took proper care of you.”

  “Thank you,” I said softly. “I will.”

  She kissed my hand, and we left.

  “Is that what they put back in your head,” Winn asked before we’d gone a dozen steps. “To go back down there and lead us all into a bloodbath?”

  I shook my head. “I’m hungry. Lunch first. I’ll tell you while we eat. Afterward, you can tie me up or sedate me or something and carry me on board the Orso Ipato.”

  Winn nodded. “Pretty much what I was planning.”

  We found lunch in the central atrium where a dozen restaurants competed for attention under a view of Bodens Gate. We stared at the ceiling for a while, trying to tell if the effect was from display panels or actual transparent plates built into the space dock.

  I smelled hamburgers and grilled onions, and lost interest in the view. Sam found something that was supposed to be a tamale but came in a bowl, and Winona smelled something else altogether and wandered off.

  We found a table where we could watch for her, and Sam stole one of my onion rings while I tried a bite of his food. It wasn’t bad.

  “The onions rings are decent, MD. Good choice.”

  “No choice. They said they didn’t have any chips. What?” Sam’s face had gone pale.

  “That means…”

  “The Tarakana have gotten into the supplies here too?”

  He nodded. “There could be hundreds of them up here now. Do you feel anything?”

  I thought about it while I took a bite. “No, nothing.”

  When Winn joined us, she was carrying a large bowl and had a contented smile. “Buffalo stew with fry bread crust.” She sat down and put her nose right above it. “They told me it’s been simmering since yesterday.” She poked a hole through the crust and smelled it again. “My Granma used to make this for me when I lived with her. Smelling this, I remember her, and the house, and the barns.” She sighed and took a bite, her eyes closed and her face happy.