By this time, Matheson and the rest of the media people were already gone. We never got to finish our interview, and who knew what kind of pictures the photographers had taken of me, snarling before a vicious crowd? No doubt that was going to do some serious damage to the reasonable, gentle image I’ve tried so hard to craft over the years, but strangely enough, I found that I was not all that concerned about it then just then. If Lucien was right about one thing, it was that some humans would never see me as anything other than a rabid beast--so then why was I trying so hard to convince them?
But still, there were good humans in the world, and there were more of the good ones than the bad. For every cruel human that mocked us, assaulted us, and called us freaks, Sarein and I meet a dozen wonderful people who were ready and willing to accept us and at the very worst, regarded us with a sort of morbid fascination. I would never have made it this far in life outside the pack if it had not been for their help.
I really wanted Lucien to know about these good people, and I wanted these people to know about good shifters. The trouble was that nobody seemed to want to play nice with each other when they thought the other wasn’t looking.
But it didn’t have to be that way forever. Why couldn’t Lucien see that?
I looked the key over. The name Sunny Hills was engraved on it. I took out my phone and Googled it, and it turned out to be a hotel not too far from here. I showed the address to my driver who said he would take me there without a problem. I sat back in the cushioned leather seat, more relieved than I would have liked to admit at having all my big plans for the day cancelled.
We drove in silence. I didn’t even look at my phone as it buzzed with notifications; I was far too busy thinking about what I would say to Lucien once I found him.
After a stop for some gas and a frustratingly slow drive through afternoon traffic, we arrived. I held the key so tightly that it left an imprint on my palm. Despite protests from my driver and security guard, I asked them to leave me in the parking lot of the Sunny Hills hotel. I breathed in deep and headed towards the spot I was certain I would find Lucien.
I entered the hotel bar and spotted him almost immediately. He sat at the counter, ordering what was likely a bottle of his favorite beer. He used to sneak it and drink out in the woods when we were kids. As I looked at him, time seemed to stand still for just a moment, and I could see him as a young shifter again, still struggling through the awkwardness of adolescence, the way he had been before I left. I almost smiled.
Still, as I walked over to him, I knew it was wise not to expect anything but more rage.“You dropped something,” I said casually.
He immediately spun around on his stool to look at me. “Caleb? What are you doing here?”
I held the key up to him. “Is this yours?”
He searched his pockets, and when he didn’t find the key there, he snatched it out of my hand. “Thanks,” he said in a low voice, going back to his drink and refusing to look at me again.
Lucien didn’t have a beer. He was drinking shots of something. “No Blue Moon tonight, Luce?”
He grumbled and shook his head.
I cleared my throat and took a seat on the stool next to him. “We need to talk, Lucien.”
“You really think that’s such a good idea?” he asked, knocking back another shot.
I chuckled. “I think I know you better than you realize, Lucien Northrup. Even after all this time.”
Lucien stared at his empty glass. “Yeah. I think you do.”
“I knew you weren’t gonna hurt me back there, even though you were mad at me. I sure didn’t like that.”
He didn’t answer. Instead, he called for more shots. I ordered some, too.
“I miss you,” I said, nervously downing a shot of whiskey before I could see his reaction. “Not a single day goes by where you aren’t on my mind.”
He remained quiet for another agonizing moment. Then, he practically whispered, “I miss you, too.”
“How have you been, Luce?” I asked.
He shrugged. “I’m getting by. I’ve been doing a couple of odd jobs here and there to help out the pack lately. I can’t complain, but it is kinda lonely sometimes.” He took another shot. “I have a cat now. Her name’s Punk. I got her last year after some concert trashed the woods where she was living.”
That was Lucien. Always trying to help everyone out. Even felines. “A cat, huh?” I asked. “You never struck me as the kind of guy to keep a pet, Lucien. Have you been trying to replace me?”
He put down his glass and looked right at me, his blue eyes shining brightly against the dim bar lights. “As if I could ever replace you.”
That’s when I noticed how close our hands were on the bar counter. Lucien had left the key right there. I discreetly pushed it towards him till our hands touched, and to my surprise, he held mine.
God, he was handsome. Lucien had always been attractive, but in the past fifteen years he developed a rugged sort of beauty. Even fully clothed, I could tell he was strong by the width of his shoulders. His sandy brown hair was lightly tousled in a way that made him look effortlessly cool. I wanted him. I couldn’t deny that. The thought of his hands on my body made me bite my lip.
Lucien reached for me and ran his fingers through my hair, allowing him a full glimpse of my face. I leaned forward, hoping that he was going to kiss me, but he didn’t.That denial made me suddenly desperate for him. I wanted him to take me, but I could not find the words to express how I felt.
“Caleb,” he whispered close against my ear. A tingle of excitement ran down my spine. “I’ve waited for you for too long.”
I nodded, my heart pounding with anticipation. Lucien stood up and took my hand. Without a word, he led me out of the bar and into the lobby of the hotel.
We headed straight for his room, and after he managed to open the door, Lucien practically threw me on the bed. He ripped off his flannel shirt and jumped on top of me, his muscular body hot. I assumed he was burning with the same desire as I was. He lowered his head and held me in place, kissing me with a deep passion that at once both drained my body of all its power and filled me with a yearning that demanded to be satisfied. I was breathless when he lifted up, breathless and quivering and hungry for more.
Just slipping off the rest of our clothes seemed to take way too long. When our naked bodies met again, our muscles rippling against each other, it was like finding a part of me that had been missing. There was no place in this world we belonged more than in each other’s arms.
Eagerly, I got on my knees and waited for Lucien to take hold of me again. I felt the wonderful pressure of his weight against me as he climbed onto the bed and positioned himself behind me.
Christ. He was so hard.
He was hard for me.
My hole dripped with slick, my arousal so intense that I didn’t care about Lucien stretching me. I just needed him to claim me. “Lucien,” I whispered. I could not wait another moment. “Lucien, please. Take me.”
I grit my teeth as he entered me. It hurt. It felt like heaven. I felt so full as Lucien began to move inside of me. He fit perfectly, as if we were made for each other. I moaned as Lucien thrust his powerful body against me again and again while I gripped the bed sheets tight. My hands trembled with the ecstasy of his touch.
“Caleb, fuck!” Lucien growled.
“Do it again,” I begged. I begged “Say my name again.”
He grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled my head back. Then he used his other hand to grab my throat, holding my head in place. He was in full control, and I fully submitted to his every whim.
I could feel his thick cock swelling, its length brushing against my prostate over and over until I saw stars. Then something happened, something I wasn’t expecting. The swelling at the base of his cock started to thicken, and I realized he was knotting inside me.
Oh, fuck. Lucien was knotting me. I should have told him to pull out, to stop because knotting meant…
&n
bsp; I shuddered. My mind turned to jelly as we neared climax. In that moment, all of my worries melted away into nothingness. All that existed then was the heat and throbbing that went through my body. Locked together, I couldn’t move, but I needed to come. I whimpered and reached for my cock, but Lucien beat me to it. He stroked along my length, encouraging me as I felt him stiffen. His groan was followed by his semen flooding inside of me. It felt so good it left me dizzy.
Breathless and spent, I crashed face-down onto the bed, my mind still reeling from a pleasure I had never known. Lucien grunted, and after a few minutes of calming down, got off me, nuzzling his face into the side of my neck. “I’ll never lose you again, Caleb,” he whispered, his voice deep and raspy. “Never.”
I was so exhausted I could hardly get the word out, “Never.”
6
Lucien
Warm sunshine shone through the hotel blinds, landing in diagonal slits across my bare chest. I shifted a little, trying to keep the sun away from my face. Beside me, I heard a soft, sleepy moan coming from Caleb as he placed his arm over my stomach. He was still asleep at my side. I had my arm still wrapped tight around his body, keeping him close.
I slowly remembered the evening before. The passion, the intensity, the catharsis of getting over fifteen years of pent-up longing out of my system.
Christ. What had I been thinking?
The sight of Caleb laying so close to me made my lip curl with dismay. He was a traitor to all shifters-and I slept with him. I pulled my arm back and quietly got out of bed as fast as I could, hoping to get as much distance between us as possible.
How could I have been so stupid, so weak? We came all the way out here to try and put a stop to all the nonsense at the Hill, and I got in bed with the enemy? What would D’Marcus say if he saw me now? Sure, I talked big at the protest, but look at how easily I ended up forgetting about all that the moment I saw Caleb at the bar.
I needed to get out of here.
I found my jeans on the floor and slid them on. I was mentally drained trying to sort out my emotions over Caleb, and that exhaustion seemed to weigh my body down as I looked for the rest of my clothes. I found my flannel shirt on an armchair in the corner beneath Caleb’s suit jacket.
“Luce?” Caleb asked softly.
Hearing my nickname coming from his mouth made me squirm. “What is it, Caleb?”
“Are you leaving?” he asked, sitting up in bed. “Already?”
“Yeah. I got a whole pack to take care of back home.” I couldn’t find my keys. Where the hell did I leave my keys?
He frowned. “Can’t you stay here with me just a little while longer?”
“Can’t. It’s awfully busy around this time of year, and I’ve been slacking off as it is.”
Caleb cocked his head to the side a little. “Oh? What do you do? I forgot to ask you last night.”
I was in no mood to discuss pack business with the likes of him right now. “I do whatever it needs to be done.”
Where the hell were my damn car keys?
“Say, do you and your cousin still work the ranch during the summers? Man, I remember the year before I left when you guys tried to get me to join you again. Do you remember that, Luce?” He chuckled at the memory. “I swear, even then, I knew I wasn’t cut out for that kind of work. I guess I was born to be…well, I don’t really know…”
I had a good idea of what Caleb was: a traitor and a coward, someone who was not prepared to accept his nature, but I decided to keep my mouth shut.
I straightened up and ran my fingers through my messy hair. After that intense afternoon at the protest--and the shameful evening with Caleb--I could have really used a shower.
“Caleb? I don’t really feel like talking. Sorry,” I said. I was surprised by the lack of bite in my voice, but I guess I wasn’t really feeling angry anymore.
No. I was disappointed, and I was sad.
“I see.” He swung his legs off the side of the bed, perhaps realizing at last what was going on. He sat bathed in sunshine. I hadn’t gotten a proper look at his nude body the previous evening, and now as I looked at his elegant frame, his lean muscles rippling as he stretched his arms above his head. He was gorgeous, and I couldn’t help but admit that I still wanted him, but that just wasn’t happening.
I finished dressing and the only thing keeping me from leaving Caleb were my missing keys. In my growing frustration, I finally realized where they likely were.
Caleb reached over to the nightstand at his side of the bed and held up my keys. A mischievous little grin spread over his face. “Looking for these?”
I reached across the bed and tried to grab the keys from him, but he raised them, keeping them just out of my grasp. Crawling onto the bed, I was half-way on top of him when I realized what I was doing. I couldn’t bear to touch him right now.
“Just give me the keys, Caleb,” I ordered, getting back to my feet.
“I’m not letting you go until you promise me something.”
“What?” I asked.
“Promise me that we won’t let this happen again, that we won’t drift apart like we did,” he said gently. “Listen, I know you’re angry, but you can’t tell me that last night meant nothing to you, Luce. I’ve hoped for years that we would get to see each other again. Please, I don’t want this to have been a one-time thing. I don’t want this to be goodbye.”
He’s right. Last night--I had waited for that night for years, unsure that it would ever really happen and I did want to revel in the fact that Caleb was here with me, but I just couldn’t. Had I put all my young hopes on a love that couldn’t be? The two of us were different now, perhaps irreconcilably so.
“I’m not the one who should have to make promises, Caleb. I’m not the one who left.”
“Lucien…”
“And I’m not the one who turned his back on his own kind.”
“Lucien, please. Let’s not do this again. I don’t want to fight with you,” he replied. He seemed hurt, genuinely so. I felt bad, but I meant what I said.
I said nothing else. He handed the keys to me, but I didn’t feel like leaving just yet. I wanted him to say something else, to apologize for leaving me all those years ago.
Caleb hurried out of bed at the sound of his phone ringing. He stood naked as he tapped on the screen, letting it ring for a while before he shut it off. He glanced at me and then started to get dressed. I stood there watching him until I realized there was nothing left for us to say. I turned to leave, but Caleb’s voice stopped me.
“Before you go,” he said as he took a pen from the hotel desk. “Here’s my number. If you ever wanna talk, I’ll be available.”
“Thanks,” I said, taking the paper and placing it in the pocket of my jeans.
He picked up his jacket and looked at the door, and I knew he was ready to leave. After this, it would be back to the Hill for him--back with those humans. I almost let him leave, but I couldn't. Not again.
“Wait, Caleb.”
He looked at me. “What is it?”
I found another scrap of paper from the desk and asked for the pen. Hastily, I scribbled down my own number. “Here.”
Caleb smiled at it, and then at me. “Thank you, Lucien.”
I only nodded in response. With one last quick glance in my direction, he was gone, and I was alone again.
I thought a lot about the ranch on the drive home. Seeing Caleb brought back memories of the time we were at the ranch together. For so long, my strongest image of Caleb was that of him under the midnight moon after we shifted back to our human forms, jittery with love and anticipation, but there was more to him than that. After all, I had loved him long before that kiss.
The summer days when we first met were only a fond memory now, reminiscent of some sweet dream I longed to return to. We were kids then, brought together when D’Marcus was himself just a teenage shifter learning to follow in the steps of his father. My own father was killed by human hunters before I was
old enough to form memories of him, and my mother’s time was divided between working at the pack’s school and mourning. Erik became like my father, and I did everything he ever asked. So, when he assigned me and a few other boys as ranch hands, tending to the few livestock we kept, I already knew I would be the best.
I learned all the ropes quickly enough. I earned the trust of the cows and goats with ease, and I was ready to offer my help to the other boys, but I was ordered to assist the hopeless new kid, the timid--and gorgeous--Caleb Haust.
Everyone dismissed Caleb as being a weakling. When we all shifted into our wolf forms beneath the full moon, we would spend the nights running around the woods, pouncing on each other, howling, letting the wildness in our souls run free alongside us--but not Caleb. Even then I had a feeling that he was unsure of himself, and I’m sure the dual nature of shifters did not help. But he was always so kind, so remarkably gentle with everyone. Not even the teasing he was subjected to could make him mean.
As I drove through the town before the Thunderstone pack lands, I realized something. As much as I was inspired by Erik’s strength and D’Marcus’s congeniality, I really became the person that I was because of that summer watching Caleb on that ranch. Caleb was always considerate, always putting others before himself.
He had a sense of integrity that I knew was still there. Perhaps, in his own way, he still cared about the pack. But hatred, ignorance, and fear had a way of wearing people down.
I tried to see things from Caleb’s perspective. Alone in world surrounded by humans, he had no one to remind him that he was not a monster—his deepest childhood fear. Caleb couldn’t have meant to put us at risk, so the humans must have have twisted his good intentions, turned into something ugly. No, Caleb wasn’t a traitor or evil or anything like that. He was misguided.
He needed to come home. The world wasn’t ready to fully assimilate with our kind yet, so it was best, for now, to keep our distance.
I sighed. I should have tried to be more understanding, more willing to listen but it wasn’t easy when the future of the pack was at stake.
Loving Paws Page 3