He smiled at me, tilting his head down in that way he had where his curls fell forward, creating a secret world for just the two of us. “I must keep some of my secrets.” I slapped his bicep, and he laughed before swinging me up into his arms and kissing me so that the world hazed at the edges.
He put me back on my feet, and I couldn’t control the way I grinned up at him… all sloppy in love. His hands at my waist slipped under my shirt, our skin meeting in a spark of heat that also held the warmth of a comforting fire. Raw lust and true love are one hell of a combination. I’d borrowed the clothing I wore from him—leaving my dirty, torn clothing in Telescopo. Emmanuel’s pants were large, but he’d given me a piece of rope to hold them up.
“Your sister could never convince me you were her.” He kissed my nose.
I rested my forehead against his chest, breathing in his scent—sweet honey. “Hopefully she won’t get to kill me, so it’s a moot point.”
His laugh rumbled in his chest. “She won’t. The only way you can die is through child birth.”
“She seemed pretty sure she could pull it off. Had her chi all up in me.”
His body stiffened. I’d told him about the attack but hadn’t gone into detail about how it felt when she sank her power into me. “You felt her inside you?” he asked, his voice quiet.
I looked up at him. “Yeah, why?”
He was staring over my head, and I turned to see his son, Jacob. The sun warmed the western horizon, glowing behind the low houses that lined the town center. Villagers moved around, preparing for the evening meal, which they took each night as a community.
“Father,” Jacob said. White haired and stooped with age, Jacob was the last surviving direct child of Emmanuel and Suki.
“Yes?”
I turned fully and waved. “Hey,” I said.
Jacob smiled broadly. “Good to see you again.” His aura pulsed forest green with truth. He genuinely liked me.
“You too.” I stepped away from Emmanuel. His hand trailed along my hip before falling to his side.
“Will you join us for dinner?” Jacob asked.
Emmanuel looked to me.
“I’d like that. And… um… this is kind of awkward.” I looked from Emmanuel to Jacob and back again. I should have spoken to Emmanuel about this privately. “Megan and Dimitri are with me. And a new vampire, Issa.” Emmanuel raised a brow, waiting for my point. I turned to Jacob.
“We appreciate what they did for us—moving the skeletons.” Jacob bowed his head to express gratitude.
A bird warbled and the sun blinked below the horizon, the world falling into shades of blue and black. “Right, so, do you think anyone would be okay with…nourishing them?” Awkward much?
Jacob’s eyes flicked around the square. “I’m not sure,” he said.
“We can find them a meal,” Emmanuel assured me, stepping up and putting a hand on my lower back, pushing me forward toward his house.
“The person has to be willing,” I said, pushing back.
He looked down at me, amusement glinting in his eyes. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of everything.”
I wanted to lean into him and let him take care of everything. I really did. But Emmanuel didn’t share my respect for human free will. These people worshiped him as a god… because, sure, he was a deity, but still! That didn’t mean he should offer them up on a platter.
He kissed the top of my head. I sighed.
“What?” he asked.
“Sorry.” I looked up at him. “I just think we should ask. I don’t want you to force anyone to let them feed.”
His smile widened. “I’m not going to have to force anyone, Darling.”
“I know. What I mean is… even by you asking, it’s forcing in a way.” Explaining power dynamics to a deity… yeah, this was totally going to work.
He frowned. “That’s not true. I’ll ask for volunteers.”
“Sure, but, Emmanuel,” I dropped my voice, “you have so much power over these people. They’d do anything you ask.”
“As they should.” Yup, he got it.
“Okay…” I probably shouldn’t open that particular can of worms at this precise moment. “But do you see my point at all?”
He shrugged. “What would you like to do, Darling?”
I glanced over at Jacob. He waited patiently, watching a group of people hanging a string of lights. He switched his attention to me as I started forward. “Let me ask you,” I said, close enough that we could have a private conversation. “How do you think we should handle this?”
“However Emmanuel sees fit.” His aura continued to glow that honest green.
Emmanuel gave me a smug smile. Harrumph. “Let me ask that another way. Would you do me a favor and ask around, make it sound like it’s your idea?”
He cocked his head. “You want me to lie?”
No… sort of… ugh. “I just don’t want people to feel pressured.”
Jacob gave me a wide smile. “Darling.” He put a hand on my elbow and squeezed. “The people here want what Emmanuel wants.” His aura burned brighter—happiness radiating off of him.
I held up my hands, giving up.
Emmanuel clapped twice, drawing the attention of the people outdoors. Silence fell upon the square as they all turned to face him. Creepy? Yeah, kind of.
“The vampires who moved the zombies will return soon. Who will feed them?”
All the hands went up. I guess that solves that.
“There is fresh clothing on our bed for you,” Emmanuel said as he closed the front door.
“Oh, good.”
Upstairs in the bedroom we’d always shared, I found two new pairs of leather pants like the ones I’d lost, several linen shirts, and new undergarments in a backpack. There was even a fresh set of boots. And one dress—indigo blue and knee length with a cinched waist, scoop neck, and three quarter sleeves. I tried it on and smiled when I looked in the mirror.
Footsteps in the hall made me turn to the door. Emmanuel pushed it open and, spotting me in the dress, grinned. “You look beautiful.”
“Thanks.” I fingered the hemline, shy for some unspeakable reason.
He crossed the room and took my hand, stilling my nervous gesture. Emmanuel kissed my knuckles. I stared at his full lips, so warm and soft against my skin. My eyes fluttered shut from the pleasure.
My chi took in a little more power from him, and I sighed with satisfaction. “Darling?” I opened my eyes and met Emmanuel’s gaze. He cleared his throat and stepped into me so that our bodies were only a few inches apart.
He still held my hand, pulling it up between us. I looked down at it, and he brought up his other hand. Between his thumb and pointer finger he held a ring.
An emerald glowed in a circle of diamonds on a platinum band. Holy crap.
“Darling, you are all I want in all the dimensions.” Oh my God, oh my God. “We must be apart at times, and you will feed on others, but I want you to marry me. To swear your love is mine eternal.” Holy crap, holy crap.
I tore my eyes from the ring and met his gaze. His eyes sparkled in the low light. “Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”
I couldn’t speak, couldn’t move. Emotions roiled inside of me. Entire worlds were being consumed by zombies, death and horror all around me. How could I feel such joy? Such happiness.
“Say yes,” he whispered.
“Yes.” Tears escaped, and I grinned. “Forever yes.”
He let out a breath and focused on my finger, slipping the ring into place. Cold and solid against my skin, it fit perfectly.
I held my hand out, admiring the large stone, biting my lip to keep from crying. “The color of your eyes,” Emmanuel said. I nodded.
He tilted my face up to his and kissed me. I opened my mouth, wrapped my arms around him, and pressed close. How did I get so lucky?
A knock on the front door interrupted us. I had one leg on Emmanuel’s waist and was practically climbing him
. He turned to yell. “Go away!”
“That’s not nice—”
He kissed away the rest of my words, maneuvering us to the bed and pulling off my dress all in one smooth move.
“I will have you again, now.”
Sounds very good to me.
The banging downstairs became more insistent. Emmanuel lifted his head to look at the bedroom door, which stood open. “It is Dr. Issa Tor,” he said. Emmanuel met my eyes. “I will let him live for you.” I was pretty sure he was joking. “But if he does not go away, I will blind him.” Okay, that wasn’t a joke.
“Give me two minutes.”
Emmanuel did not move, his body stayed pressed against mine, trapping me on the bed. The knocking continued. Emmanuel closed his eyes and the knocking stopped.
“What did you do?” I asked.
“He will wake soon enough. Now I must have you.”
“Is Issa okay?”
“Fine.” Emmanuel dipped his head. His lips traveled down my body, teasing me so that I writhed on the sheets, gripping the pillows. Energy powered through me. I danced for him, my mind shattering, coming back together, only to be obliterated again.
When we finally came downstairs, my entire being thrummed with energy.
Issa lay curled up on the front stoop, motionless. I grabbed Emmanuel’s arm. “Is he…?”
Emmanuel glanced down. “He will rise in time.”
I frowned up at Emmanuel who shrugged, totally unapologetic. He stepped over the vampire, leading me toward Megan and Dimitri who waited at a nearby table.
The townspeople were still cleaning up from dinner.
Megan smiled at me. Then her eyes dropped to the ring. “What is that?” She leapt up and grabbed my hand, lifting it to examine the giant rock. Her wide eyes made me realize how ostentatious the ring actually was. When it had been just Emmanuel and me, it seemed the perfect symbol for our love. Now, seeing it through Megan’s eyes, I saw that it must be worth millions.
Millions of what? Dollars. I didn’t even live in a world where money existed. I lived in no world. That thought weighted me. I belong nowhere.
Emmanuel put an arm around my waist and pulled me close. “Darling has agreed to become my wife.” I looked up at him and smiled. I belong right here, wrapped in his arms, sharing his world.
Dimitri stiffened, his jaw tightening and eyes dropping to the ground as his aura pulsed with a flash of vermilion red—he quickly squashed the anger and jealously, his power settling around him. Megan stared at Emmanuel, her mouth parted in surprise. “She did?” Megan moved her focus to my face; her eyes held a thousand questions. Do you really want this? How can you decide to spend eternity with someone you hardly know?
“Yes, I have,” I said, my voice coming out hoarse. A blush heated my face. The whole freaking town must have heard us.
“Okay.” Megan yanked me out from Emmanuel’s arm. “We need to talk.” My fiancé frowned, but she smiled at him. “Girl time. Sorry, buddy, but I’ve got to get the details from my bestie here.” She glanced over at Issa. “Besides, we can’t go anywhere until he wakes up.” Her eyes met Emmanuel’s. “When do you think that will be?”
“You have time,” he said, noncommittedly.
Megan pulled me toward the woods. I looked over my shoulder at Emmanuel and smiled. He watched me go, a wistful expression on his handsome face. Dimitri stood to his left and slightly behind him, his eyes down—like a soldier at the arm of his commander.
“You’re marrying him?” Megan asked as we reached the tree line. Her aura danced around her, swirling with colors. She didn’t know how to feel about this.
“Yeah, I guess. Though I’ll admit I have no idea what that actually means in this context.”
Megan stopped and turned to me, her brow furrowed and eyes serious. “Until death do us part takes on a whole new meaning when there is no death, right?”
“Right. But he does die.” I continued forward, and she followed in my wake.
“He dies?”
“Never for good. But he dies over and over and over again.”
“Oh…” Spotting a fallen tree, I angled toward it, taking a seat on the felled log. Megan sat next to me, her mouth pulled down in a deep frown. “That’s horrible.”
“Seems pretty shitty to me.” I kicked a rock near my foot, sending it rolling across the dried leaves, making a crackling sound.
“It’s a really nice ring.” Megan reached for my hand again. “Like, super nice.” She offered me a small smile. If you think this is a good idea, I can get on board.
I took a deep breath and dropped my eyes to the ring. It sparkled even in the darkness of the woods. “Yeah,” I agreed, “it’s gorgeous.”
“Not super practical.” Megan drew out the word super. “I mean, for battling zombies and such. A big rock like that….”
I pulled my hand away. “Hopefully we won’t be battling zombies for much longer.”
“Yeah.”
Megan chewed on her lip, a wholly human gesture made alien and frightening by the sharp fangs that dug into her rose-colored flesh. The pink on her cheeks drew my attention. Brighter now that she’d fed, it reminded me of the paint on a china doll.
Our foster mother collected dolls, a creepy and dissonant hobby. A grown woman obsessed with child’s toys, she kept them behind glass. The day I arrived, she warned me not to touch them. I was already too old for that kind of thing and had never been interested in them anyway.
My father didn’t give me dolls. He carved wooden animals for me, never the facsimile of a human in my control.
And now, look at me, I could move Megan around as if she were a doll. My power pulsed with the thought, and Megan turned to me, cocking her head in question. Her aura darkened, shading with fear at the hunger in my own.
I shook my head. “I was thinking about Cindi’s dolls.”
Megan gave a short laugh. “They were so weird.” She wagged a finger at me. “You can’t touch them.” Megan snorted. “Like I wanted to play with that crap.”
“Exactly.” My voice came out brittle.
“Why were you even thinking about those dolls?” Megan asked quietly.
“Now I play with living things like they’re dolls.” I dropped my gaze, shame swelling. I’m a monster. Always have been and always will be. I don’t deserve Emmanuel, Dimitri, or Megan.
“Hey.” Megan grabbed my hand. Her skin was so damn cold! “You’re not playing with living things. You’re trying to save humans.”
“And how I use my power doesn’t matter. The ends justify the means.”
Megan dropped my hand and stood, clenched fists landing on her hips, anger swirling. I could take it away—make her pliable. Make her agree.
“You are strong, brave, and beautiful on the inside and always have been.” Megan’s nostrils flared, her eyes burning bright with outrage.
“I…” Dropping my gaze, I stared at my hands, at the gorgeous ring on my finger. A lump in my throat prevented me from sharing my deepest fears with my best friend.
“Stand up,” Megan demanded, taking a step back and making room for me.
I slowly rose, my dress slipping over my legs. The villagers made me this because I am Emmanuel’s girl. I am a taker. “Feed from me,” I said to Megan.
She took another step back, surprised fear flittering across her face. “Emmanuel would kill me.”
I threw up a hand in exasperation. “You just got through telling me I’m such a good person. Then why am I in love with someone who would kill my best friend if I gave her life-sustaining nourishment?”
Megan stayed still. I’d expected a sigh. The living Megan would have sighed. “I’m not alive,” Megan said, as if reading my mind. “My existence can be sustained in other ways that don’t piss off a deity, aka your future husband.”
I hiccupped a laugh. “Wow, can you believe you just said that?”
Megan gave me a lopsided smile. “Which part?”
“All of it.” I waved
a hand between us. “Can you even believe we are here right now? That any of this is real.”
The hidden fear that perhaps this was all a hallucination, a figment of my delusional mind, tingled at the back of my head.
“Strangers in a strange world,” Megan said, looking around the forest. “Remember when we first got to Crescent City?” I nodded. “I think it felt like this.” She chewed on her lip again. “That I was fundamentally different—changed. And would never be the same.”
“I guess that’s always true. That we are constantly changing.”
“And are never the same as we were a moment ago.”
“But at the same time, there is only this moment.” Philosopher, who me?
Megan’s gaze scanned the forest, and she took in a breath, scenting the air. “What do you think Suki meant when she said time was not the same for us?”
“You mean Seventh Force?” Megan nodded, her gaze still on the distance. “I guess since she’s an eternal force so not living a finite lifetime.”
Megan nodded, her eyes coming back to mine. “Remember when we returned to Crescent City searching for Issa, there was less of a day?” She stepped forward, her voice pitching up.
“Yeah.”
“That never happened when you traveled with Emmanuel, right?”
“Not that I noticed. But we rarely stayed anywhere long.” I paused. “But… we just got back from Telescopo and time did not shift.”
“Right.” Megan started to pace, the leaves crunching under her booted feet. “So, why did it change for us? Do you think we were in the”—she turned to me and held up her fingers, making quote marks—“‘the void’ all that time. Like, if you’re less skilled at traveling through dimensions, then you can get stuck there and time keeps going out here.” She waved an arm to indicate the world.
“I guess. We could ask Emmanuel.”
“Okay, but assuming that’s true, then isn’t it possible that Seventh Force lives in the void.”
“Sure, Megan.” I scrunched my face. “I’m pretty sure anything is possible at this point.”
She barked a laugh. “Yeah, right.”
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