I eyed the hardware store we'd strolled into with a flicker of amusement. She took an aisle to the left and I took the one to the right, the shelving low enough that I could keep my gaze on her. I watched as Rebel trailed her fingers over some of the tools, her hand brushing a saw, a hammer then an axe. Her movements captivated me and I remained quiet as I observed her, her eyes floating over the various objects she'd probably never seen in her life. My fault.
We reached the end of the aisle and she lifted her beautiful eyes to meet mine. Dark, endless, and filled with so much love that I could feel it pouring from her in waves.
She picked up bow-saw with a slanted smile. “Did you bring me here to kill me, Erik?” she teased.
I chuckled darkly, taking the saw from her hand. “If I wanted to kill you, I wouldn't use this.”
“What would you use?” she mused, turning her back on me as she wandered further into the store.
My gaze dropped to the curve of her ass and I padded after her as my jeans grew tighter in anticipation of all I wanted to do to her.
I picked up a nail gun from a shelf. “Maybe one of these. Quick and painless.”
She spun around to eye the tool, her lips twisting with amusement. “How romantic.”
“You know me, Rebel.” I shrugged and her eyes danced with light at the sound of her nickname on my lips. A weight fell over me as I focused on all of the shit I'd been putting her through recently. She deserved an apology. More than apology. She deserved a better husband.
I placed the nail gun back on the shelf, stuffing my hands into my pockets. “I've fucked up,” I said with a frown.
She fell still, waiting for me to continue.
“I know I've been...difficult lately.”
She eyed me hopefully, folding her arms. “Go on.”
I took a step toward her. “I've been an asshole.”
“And?” she asked, looking desperate to hear what I had to say.
“And...I've let you down.”
She dipped her head, inspecting her boots as if preparing what to say. My gut twisted as I waited, my heart not ready for what she was going to voice. Part of me wished she'd scream at me, hit me even. But she wasn't like that. She'd try to understand why I behaved the way I did. But I didn't want her to figure it out, because then maybe she'd realise this was a side of me that was never going away.
“You haven't let me down,” she said firmly and my brows drew together as I waited for the ball to drop. “You've been through a lot. I get it.”
“That doesn't excuse the way I've acted,” I said harshly, then bit my tongue as the demon inside me reared up again. I ground my teeth, stepping forward to close the distance between us. The angry part of me thumped and wailed to be let out. I was tumbling out of control again and I needed to seize back an ounce of it or I'd go mad.
I pushed her back against the wall behind her, capturing her chin in my grip. She inhaled slowly, her pupils dilating as she waited for me to kiss her. Her lips were full and red and so tempting. She wasn't going to demand it of me. Not after all the times I'd brushed her off.
I skated my hand to her neck and held her firmly. Her throat bobbed beneath my palm and I felt myself hardening for her, demanding to take her.
I eyed a rack beside her, snatching a length of rope from it as I released her.
She shifted against the wall, her lips parted as she watched me. I beckoned her closer and she obeyed, drifting toward me with curiosity in her gaze.
“Hands up,” I commanded and her eyes narrowed.
“Why?” she asked, surveying the rope in my hand.
My mouth pulled up at the corner. “Please,” I added and she lifted her hands.
I tied her wrists, binding her to the metal rack above her head.
She quivered before me and I brushed my thumb against her bottom lip with a wanton groan. Her hips swayed with need and a thrill hit me at how much she was enjoying this.
I moved into her personal space and she tilted her chin toward me to try and tempt me into a kiss. I almost gave it to her, but a dark piece of me wanted to keep her like this. Needy and wanting. Completely at my mercy.
She bit into her lower lip and shifted closer again, pressing her body flush to mine. She aimed for a kiss once more and I smirked, leaning out of reach.
Her brows drew together sharply, but still she didn't beg me for it. I wanted that kiss as badly as her, but not as much as I wanted to withhold it.
She tugged at her hands and the wrack trembled above her.
“Break free and I won't touch you,” I growled and she stilled, eyeing me with a flicker of vulnerability.
I grazed my thumb down her cheek and she shivered from my touch, arching her back so her breasts brushed my chest. I cupped one in my hand, toying with her as I tugged her shirt down to release her from it. My mouth captured her nipple and she moaned loudly, her hips bucking as she tried to get nearer. My hand slid down her stomach to cup between her thighs and I rubbed against the thin yoga pants until she moaned. Still, she didn't beg me and a wave of frustration filled me.
“What do you want?” I demanded against her flesh.
“You...please,” she gasped and the words were like music to my ears. I bit and sucked her skin until my fangs left reddened marks on her breasts. Her begging grew more frantic and her hips jerked hungrily to meet the strokes of my palm.
I removed my hand from between her thighs, lifting it to grip her throat instead. I dipped my head, the scent of her everywhere, invading my senses and almost making me want to forget about this damned game. But I was in control again. I'd seized back a single inch of power in my life and I didn't want to ever let it go.
Her lips parted and her eyes widened. She wanted that kiss. But I was going to make her work for it.
I teased the corner of her mouth, moving to her ear and nipping her sensitive flesh. Her hips thrust into mine more violently and a low laugh left my throat.
“Erik,” she begged, but not breathy this time. More demanding. More angry.
That's how I feel, Rebel.
I continued my torment, sucking and kissing her neck, keeping her in place with my other hand. She lifted her knee in an attempt to caress me, but I lurched backwards, releasing her throat.
She gazed at me, blinking heavily as tears swam in her eyes. “Asshole,” she snapped, yanking against the rope. “Untie me.”
A lump of guilt swelled in my throat as I realised what I'd done. I lunged forward, breaking the rope with my bare hands and tried to give her the kiss she wanted. She shoved me away and tugged her top up, storming across the store. Anxiety blossomed through my chest. I darted after her, beating her to the door and barring her way.
“Wait,” I begged.
“Let me out,” she growled, trying to push me aside.
I caught her wrists and she ripped them free of my grip.
She gave up, glaring at me as a tear escaped her eye. “I love you, Erik. But I won't be your punching bag.”
Shame washed through me. I knew she was right. I was supposed to have been trying to make things up to her, but I'd fucked up again. I'd succumbed to this burning need inside me to regain power over the world.
She tried to move around me once more but I couldn't let her go. If she walked away now I didn't know how we'd ever fix things between us. “Please, just wait. I'm sorry. Let me make it right.”
I reached for her and she slapped my hand away. “No, I've had enough. You wanna wallow in this on your own? You wanna punish the people who love you? Then fine, but I'm not going to be a part of it.”
I stepped forward, desperate to make this right.
Fuck! What have I done?
I'd screwed things up so royally I didn't even know how to begin fixing it.
“Move,” she demanded, but I shook my head, my heart fracturing, my soul coming apart.
I fell to my knees and wrapped my arms around her, pressing my forehead to her stomach. “I'm sorry – please- just wait a seco
nd.”
Montana stiffened, gazing down at me in alarm. “Erik, stop,” she demanded, trying to draw me to my feet.
I pulled her down before me and dragged her into my arms in a fierce embrace. “I don't know how to put this into words, but let me try. Please let me try.” The irony didn't pass me by that I was now begging Rebel for a moment in her company after I'd forced her to do the same to me.
She blinked away tears as she stared at me, shaking her head. “I'm trying to be here for you, but I can't. Not like this.”
“I know, I know,” I groaned, gripping her hand as I sat back on my heels.
She fell quiet, folding her legs beneath her, her expression taut as she waited for me to speak. She was giving me a chance. And I suspected it was my final one. So I had to give her everything I had. The darkest parts of me, the pain, the grief, the loss. And my response to it all.
“I just feel so...” I took a deep breath, trying to hold her gaze as I opened my heart to her. “Powerless.”
She nodded slowly and I squeezed her hand, praying she'd hear me out on this. Though it was the last thing I deserved right now.
I dropped my eyes to my knees, emotion welling and welling until I knew it was going to spill over. There was nothing I could do to stop it. She was my Rebel, my wife, my soulmate. And I owed her an explanation.
“When I was given this curse by Andvari...I lost who I was. I became a monster, I killed people I loved. And it happened over and over and over.” Pain stung my heart as I relived what I'd done to my family when the thirst had gripped my body for the very first time. Montana remained quiet and I kept my eyes downcast. “When we claimed the New Empire, I swore to myself I'd never lose control again. That my family would never be hurt, never be hunted. And everything I did since was in an effort to protect that vow.” My brows pinched together as I readied to voice the rest of this. Every fucked up inch of me laid bare. “When I met you, I silently swore that you would fall under the protection I could offer. At first, I just wanted you because I was selfish. I wanted you because you gave me something to live for beyond the empire my family had built, even beyond breaking the curse. But then it was more than that and every day since it's been more still.” My throat swelled and I desperately didn't want any tears to fall when I spoke of my brother. “Every day I've tried to keep you with me, keep you safe. And not just you, my family. The gods want this prophecy solved, though they're trying their damned hardest to make it the most difficult task on earth. But I was happy to take it on, knowing everyone I loved was still okay. I'd actually let go for once. Relinquished control. I didn't need to hold everything together anymore. But when Miles died-” my voice cracked and Montana gripped my fingers reassuringly. “When the goddess destroyed him and his husband so easily...I realised how stupid I was for ever thinking we didn't need to be constantly prepared. That one split second couldn't crush everything I'd worked to protect.” The tears fell and relief spilled through me at long last. I shut my eyes, willing my soul to let it out, because what was the point in holding it all in? It wasn't just hurting me, it was hurting her.
Montana crawled into my lap, wrapping herself around me in a loving embrace. I held her tightly, my heart finally finding some peace.
“You're not in control,” she said softly, running her hands down my back in soothing circles. “We don't get to control everything. That's life, Erik. Bad stuff happens. Awful people do awful things. And sometimes we can't do anything to stop it. We're not gods. And we can't see the future. I know you'll always protect me, and I'll protect you too. But we can't do more than that. We're just not able to.”
I nodded against her shoulder, knowing she was right. That I had to accept that I couldn't always control my fate or anyone else's.
She linked her fingers around the back of my neck, pressing her forehead to mine. “I can't stand to see you killing yourself over something you never had any say in. We all could have made different decisions that night. But we didn't. We're here and half of us are still alive because of the sacrifices we made for each other. Any one of us could have died that night. And I'm so sorry it was your brother.”
I let her words settle over me, giving in to her. Every part of me unravelling like twine. I tilted my chin up to kiss her and she kissed me back with no judgment, no fear. Only love flowed between us. Pure and sweet and wholly innocent.
When she leant away, I felt reborn. My heart stitched back together in perhaps not quite the same way, but something stronger. Something that could face whatever fate would find us on this path. Good or bad.
I lay in a large bed within the furniture store beside Callie, breathing in and out despite the fact that I didn’t have to. But the scent of her skin washed over me with every inhalation and it was intoxicating. She was sleeping on me again and I was pretty sure I’d never grow tired of her doing so. I’d gotten some sleep the previous night and this new body of mine didn’t need any more yet.
It was a strange thing to lie there for hours and not feel the pull towards sleep. But it had given me plenty of time to turn over my thoughts on several things.
I was beginning to analyse some of the changes in my behaviour since my transformation. And Callie was right, I was more jealous, easier to anger and bordering on overly possessive of her. It was as though I was a slave to my instincts now, especially when the thirst was upon me. And a lot of those instincts revolved around Callie. I felt drawn to her, tied to her, I was at once protective of her and fiercely in awe of her.
But I needed to work harder to hold back on my impulses to shield her from the other members of our group. She was more than capable of speaking her own mind and I could see my behaviour was bordering on overbearing already. I found it harder to resist those impulses than the call of her blood somehow. It was like I was hardwired to protect her and I saw countless threats against her at all times. Perhaps it was because of my newfound immortality. It wasn’t something I’d asked for or ever wanted to keep. But it did highlight the fragility of her mortal flesh. And I couldn’t bear for anything to happen to her.
The burning in my throat had been growing more desperate throughout the night. After the blood she’d sacrificed for the other vampires, I hadn’t been able to bring myself to bite her before she’d fallen asleep even though she’d offered it. I needed it, ached for it, craved it like it was sunlight and I was lost in the dark.
But I hadn’t succumbed. She deserved to rest, at least one night before I had to drink from her again.
Callie flexed her arms, her fingers brushing against my cool flesh lightly and sending electricity racing across my skin. She rolled off of me with a yawn, turning her back on me and stealing the warmth of her skin as she went.
“Are you awake?” I asked hopefully, turning towards her and drawing a pattern along her side with my middle finger.
“No.” She arched her back, pressing her body against mine and I released a dark laugh as my blood heated in response.
“Hmm, how about now?” I slid my hand under the oversized t-shirt she’d stolen from me to sleep in and brushed my fingers up her stomach and along the curve of her breast. A deep satisfaction filled my chest as I felt her nipple hardening beneath my touch and I continued my slow exploration of the curves of her body.
“Still sleeping,” she breathed but she pushed her ass against me in defiance of her words and I smiled as I started kissing her neck.
The thirst rose in me like a tide and my vision darkened as I moved my lips against the silky skin beneath her ear. I fought it back as hard as I could, inhaling deeply as the scent of her filled me with a desperate longing.
I tugged on her nipple just a little and a soft gasp left her lips. She ground her ass against me again as the evidence of my own arousal pressed firmly against her.
“I’ll have to work harder to wake you up then,” I murmured.
I explored the swell of her chest for a few more moments as her breathing grew ragged then slid my hand lower. I reached the to
p of her underwear and pushed my fingers beneath it as she took a sharp breath. I groaned longingly as I felt how wet she was for me, and she moved her ass against the hard length of me in response. I grazed her earlobe with my teeth and she moaned as I started to move my hand against her.
“If you’re sleeping then you should be quiet,” I teased and she ground her body back against mine with a soft laugh.
“I’m awake now,” she breathed, trying to turn in my arms but I held her in place as I continued to torment her. I could feel her body moving closer to the edge and I wasn’t going to let her go until she toppled over it.
She pushed herself back into me more demandingly, sighing my name as I kept moving my hand.
I ran my tongue along the length of her neck and she groaned again, her hand fisting in the sheets. I could hear her pulse pounding beneath her flesh and my fangs brushed her neck as the temptation to bite her grew and grew. I needed it like she needed air to breathe but I refused to give in to it yet.
My body ached for her with the same level of desperation and I was overwhelmed by the two desires she woke in me. She ground herself against me again and I growled hungrily for everything this woman in my arms could offer me.
“Just take me,” she begged and I laughed darkly, refusing to give in to her demand while revelling in the fact that she was as eager for me as I was for her.
“You’ll make too much noise,” I protested in a whisper.
“I won’t,” she said. I drove my fingers down more firmly and a breathy moan escaped her lips as I proved her wrong.
I could feel her body tensing as she kept writhing in my arms. I was pushing her closer and closer to her climax and her breaths came faster and faster as her body begged me to continue. My own arousal grew in time with hers and I had to fight hard against the urge to take this further just yet. I wanted to wring every inch of pleasure from her body and I intended to take my time in doing it.
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