Choosing Eternity

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Choosing Eternity Page 9

by Bridget Essex


  I was so confused.

  Kane helped me sit up, her cool palm pressing against my shoulder blades, and I stared down at the dress I was wearing. This was Dolly’s dress, I knew that. But it didn’t seem right. It was much too short. I wore dresses down to my toes, every woman wore dresses down to their toes…

  Didn’t they?

  I turned, taking in Kane. She, too, seemed different. And Bran. Bran’s hair was unusually coifed, a little closer cropped, and Kane had her long waterfall of white-blonde up in a ponytail.

  I knew that word. Ponytail.

  I cleared my throat.

  “What…year is it?” I hazarded.

  Kane and Branna stared at me.

  “You don’t know what year it is, Rose?” asked Bran gently. There was deep concern in her voice, as much as she tried to keep it light.

  I lifted my gaze to her.

  Rose.

  She called me Rose.

  And suddenly, I remembered. I remembered all of it, and it was overwhelming, washing through me again, everything I’d just witnessed.

  It was overwhelming, trying to hold all of that in my head and heart.

  I turned, eyes wide, full of tears, and I stared at Kane for a long moment before taking her face gently, so gently, in my hands. I don’t know what I was afraid of. That she might shatter, that this entire moment might dissolve all around me and it would be gone? Was I afraid that, in an instant, she might disappear? I didn’t know, I only knew that I could reach up and touch her, and she was real and so beautiful.

  I only knew that my love for her filled my heart to overflowing.

  I had loved her forever.

  My love for Kane Sullivan was eternal.

  And now…now I had proof of that fact.

  “Kane…” I whispered, and my voice was ragged, too rich with emotion. I cleared my throat, tried again. “Kane,” I murmured, searching her face. “It’s me.”

  She stared down at me, the furrow deep upon her brow, her eyes narrowed as she tried to understand. “I don’t—” she began, but I reached up, pressed a finger to her perfect, cold mouth.

  “It’s me,” I whispered again. “I am Melody.”

  Kane only stared.

  I groaned, frustrated. I didn’t know how to tell her, how to make her understand… “Don’t you see?” I asked her, my voice rising. “I am Melody. And I’m Rose, too. I was…I was reincarnated, I think.” I blinked. “No. I know I was. I was Melody, and then I was murdered…I was murdered,” I tried to gulp down air, but the panic was rising in me. I had to make her understand, and I had to make her understand now. It was crucial, and I didn’t know why. “I was Melody, and now I’m Rose, and somehow…somehow, impossibly, my love…I found you again.” My voice shook as I held her face gently in my hands, as I tried, so hard, to make her see the truth: “Love is the most powerful thing in the universe—it brought me back to you.”

  Kane reached up, pressed her palms over my hands cupping her face. And then she shook her head, only a little, her eyes dark, worried.

  She did not believe me.

  It seemed impossible, even to my own ears, everything I’d just said, and I’m the one who’d gotten back my memories. I’m the one who’d just experienced…everything. So I cleared my throat, tried again, anguish apparent in my features, in my voice. But I didn’t care. I had to make her understand the truth of all of this.

  And then I knew how.

  “Do you…do you believe in fate?” I whispered to her, the words she’d spoken to me more than a century ago.

  I hoped she remembered.

  She had to remember.

  And Kane’s eyes grew wider as she stared at me, as her mouth opened, her lips shining, her eyes bright and impossibly blue.

  There was a shimmer of recognition in her face.

  So I pressed on.

  “You…you gave me these because I asked you to give them to me, the day of the wedding,” I whispered to her, holding out my hand where the rings remained, gripped so tightly against my palm that when they clattered out of my hand and into her own, the impressions of them remained on my skin.

  “I am Melody,” I repeated to her, searching her face, hoping against hope...

  She lifted her gaze from the rings in her hand to my face.

  And I knew.

  She believed me.

  “You are Melody,” she whispered, eyes wide, and then her voice broke, and she’d gathered me so tightly into her arms that I did not know where I began or she began, and that was exactly as it should be.

  We held each other tightly.

  We were finally, both of us, home.

  Bran had been partially hovering over me while I was unconscious—she sat back on her heels now, looking from me to Kane and then back to me again, her eyes wide. “That’s…that’s impossible,” she conceded, and then she shrugged. “But I knew you. I remember every single person I’ve ever read, and I’ve not made a mistake once. I knew that I’d read you before, and I didn’t know how that was possible…but I suppose that, now, I do.”

  Kane’s arms about me tightened, and she breathed out in relief or satisfaction, I could not quite tell. But she pressed kisses to the top of my head, to my face now, tender kisses, passionate kisses. They said yes and my God, I’ve missed you, and I thought I’d never see you again and here you are, right in front of me, all at the same time—all without her saying a single word.

  I took a deep breath, too, and I accepted those kisses and kissed her, too, clinging to her with a tightness that belied the fact that I would never let go again.

  “Love is the most powerful thing in the universe,” I repeated, my voice shaking.

  And it was true.

  After a long moment, Kane leaned back from me again to hold me out at arm’s length, her eyes still wide and full of wonder. “But…what happened? How did you remember who you were?”

  “Because I…found the rings,” I said with a little shrug. “I suppose that you transformed my old rooms into Branna’s?” I asked, and both Bran and Kane nodded, their eyes widening further. “Okay, so that makes sense,” I nodded. “Anyway, I found the rings in the little treasure box in the hole in the wall. The one beneath the painting that…I painted,” I finally realized, glancing at it where it lay, still propped on the ground along the wall. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snoop in your room, Bran…I was just…drawn to the painting, and then I just felt I should move it, and it all just came together. And once I took the rings in my hand and Kane touched me, everything just…happened. Almost like a spell was broken or something. I am sorry about snooping,” I laughed weakly.

  “Well,” said Bran slowly, carefully, a smile playing over her lips, “I am fairly certain I can overlook it this one time,” she teased. “Truly, please don’t worry about it. That’s all fine and well. But…” She looked from me to Kane and back to me again, her eyes still quite wide. “This is just all very strange.”

  “You can say that again,” Kane managed, and when she gazed into my face, I saw all of it, all of the love she’d held for me over all these years, all of the love for Melody she had never, ever lost. All of the love she held for me now, still, and all of the new love she’d built in her heart for Rose.

  But I was still Rose.

  I was just now, also someone else. But it was still me. I had the memories of my previous life, I possessed them again, and I’m going to be honest: it was very weird to hold two lives in my head at once. There’s no other word for it than “weird.”

  Well. “Impossible,” perhaps, but I’d experienced it…so I guess it wasn’t so impossible after all.

  I put my hand up warily, then rubbed my face with it, dashing away the tears with a little groan. I remembered who I was, I remembered most things…but the details of the when were still a little fuzzy for me. I suppose that’s to be expected when your past life comes rushing into your brain all at once, jostling for room among all the memories of your current life.

  �
�Wait…” I murmured, glancing up. “I’m so confused, I’m sorry—what day is it?”

  Bran and Kane exchanged another glance and Kane’s brow rose.

  “Do you remember what happened to you last night? The vampires hunting you?” asked Kane gently.

  My eyes grew wider.

  “Yes…”

  And then I remembered the events of that morning.

  Melody changing her face…

  But, then, she wasn’t really Melody at all. I’d known that before falling into the memories, but now I knew it with anger and outrage that she had stolen my old face for whatever trickery she was up to.

  “Something horrible is going to happen at the Conference,” I told Kane, my voice shaking as I gathered her shirt’s collar in my hands, holding tightly to it.

  Kane took a deep breath and let it out through her nose. Her eyes were narrowed. “I thought as much. But how do you know?”

  “Let’s just call it…a very bad feeling. And I was killed at a Conference, remember?” I shuddered. It was so hard, saying that.

  It was so awful.

  I remembered, and clearly, how awful it was, the fire rising around me, fire, fire everywhere. I shuddered again, sighing out.

  “Look…that woman who says she’s Melody—she’s up to something horrible.” And then my eyes widened as I stared up at Kane. “Wait…wait a minute. Magdalena’s here, isn’t she? At the Conference?”

  Kane nodded, her jaw setting in a hard line. “Unfortunately. She has to be here—”

  “She set fire to my door. Back then. She set fire to Melody’s door,” I told Kane, my hands tightening on her shirt collar. “She killed me…and she was with the…the not-Melody earlier.” I finally realized, gasping. “Oh…oh, God…She wants to kill me again.”

  Kane shook her head, holding me tightly, closely, pure fury coming over her face. She ground her teeth together, closed her eyes, her fangs growing, even as I watched as she held me with a strength and power that made me pause. “I will never,” she snarled, “let anything happen to you ever again.”

  “Nor me,” said Bran, shaking her head, her full lips, usually set in a sweet smile, now in a thin, hard line. “The rest of us Sullivans are in agreement. We care about you, Rose. We would never let anything happen to you again—they found out about what happened last night, and we’re all unanimous. We will protect you.”

  Tears sprang into my eyes, and I reached out, took one of Bran’s hands in my own and squeezed it. “That’s so, so sweet, Bran,” I said, and took a deep breath, resolve moving through me. “But I don’t want to be protected. I want to be able to stand on my own two feet and protect myself. I don’t want to be the target of the ill will directed at Kane. It’s not Kane’s fault,” I said firmly as pain crossed my lover’s face. “But I was killed all those years ago because Magdalena wanted to weaken Kane. I don’t want to let that happen to myself again.”

  “It never came out that it was Magdalena who set fire to your door,” said Kane gruffly, grappling with emotion. She cleared her throat. “But she made several moves afterward to strengthen her cause, pointed out my ‘weakness’ to the other vampires, that I let my mourning of you get in the way of my duties. I had to rally to gain back whatever good standing I’d had, and if it hadn’t been for the other Sullivans who picked me up, picked up all of my pieces…I think the outcome would have been very different.”

  “Magdalena was hell bent on subjugating the humans,” said Bran dryly, raising a brow. “And, in Melody’s honor, we could not let that stand.”

  “When it came to a vote among the vampires, the motion was defeated. But just barely. And I think she loathes me that I was able to keep her power from becoming fully realized,” said Kane heavily. “So, yes, I believe that she would have no problem doing anything it took to take me down. I’m one of the last vampires standing in her way to becoming an empress.”

  Bran and Kane shuddered, but I balled my hands into fists. I sat up, off of Kane’s lap, knelt on the floor between these two women I loved so much, who I’d been through so much with…

  Who were the book definition of “family.”

  “That proves my point, though. Magdalena is evil. And I’m done with it. What I’m saying,” I said slowly, carefully, pressing my palms to my thighs as they both watched me, “is that I’m done having so much taken from me. My life was stolen from me. My happiness was stolen from me. And I will never, ever let anyone get in the way of my happiness, my life…or my love. Not ever again.” I reached out, took Kane’s hand in my own and gently squeezed it.

  Kane narrowed her eyes, glanced at me with a gentleness that made my heart skip a beat. “Tell me what you want, my love,” she whispered, “and I will move heaven and earth to make it possible.”

  “Just two things,” I said, shaking my head.

  Bran and Kane exchanged a glance, but then Kane was nodding.

  “You already have them. Just name them.”

  I lifted my chin.

  “Marry me, Kane Sullivan,” I whispered, my voice thick. “And then…make me like you. A vampire.”

  Kane’s mouth fell open, her breath came fast.

  “Before you say anything,” I shook my head, drew closer to her, pressing her hands over my heart, “just know that Magdalena is going to try to kill me tonight. So, if I’m a vampire…she can’t kill me, right?”

  “No,” said Kane slowly, “she can’t kill you how someone would kill a human. But, Rose, vampires can be killed.”

  “I know I wouldn’t be invincible. But I’d feel a lot safer.”

  “I was always going to ask you, when the time was right…when you were Melody,” said Kane, her voice thick with emotion. “But I never got the chance. I was always so worried, because you were mortal, that something terrible would happen to you…I cursed myself countless times, after you were killed, that I hadn’t done it yet. But we were so happy. Darkness seemed like such a faraway thing.”

  “It’s all right,” I told her, reaching up and wiping a tear away from her cool cheek. “It’s all right,” I promised her again, my voice soft, soothing. “I found my way back to you.”

  Kane nodded, not trusting herself to speak, she was so overwhelmed with emotion.

  “Think about it, Kane,” said Bran then, raising a brow. “If Magdalena truly has her sights set on Rose, if she tries to drink from her, and Rose is already a vampire, you know what would happen.”

  Kane’s eyes grew wide, and she nodded slowly. “My God, it could actually work.”

  “What?” I looked from one to the other.

  “Once a human becomes a vampire,” said Kane, smiling, just a little, her mouth turning up at the corners as she raised a brow, “their blood is poisonous to other vampires.”

  “Poisonous,” I breathed.

  “So, if she tried to drink from you…it would poison her,” said Bran, nodding.

  “But there’s so much that could go wrong with that plan,” Kane began, but I cleared my throat. She looked back at me, surprised.

  “That wasn’t the most important thing I wanted,” I whispered, twining my arms about her neck. “I asked you if you’d marry me, Kane Sullivan.” I searched her face. “And you haven’t given me an answer yet.”

  Kane shook her head, kissed me gently, softly, her cool mouth brushing over my own as she wrapped her fingers in my hair. “That’s because it needs no answer,” she whispered to me, searching my face, then pressing her forehead against my own. “You have always had me, Rose. I will marry you and gladly. I was always meant to marry you.”

  “Tonight,” I whispered, searching her face. “Before the dance. Everything has to happen before the dance.”

  “The wedding?” asked Kane, brows furrowed. “Why must that happen before the dance? Don’t you want to plan something lovely?”

  My throat tightened, and I shook my head, tears already pricking at the corners of my vision. “No,” I answered, shaking my head. “I don’t. It was stolen from me o
nce, our wedding. If something…if something should happen, I want you to be mine, and I want to be yours. Just…just in case.”

  Kane nodded slowly, her eyes darkening. “Yes, of course,” she answered, but then held me tightly. “But nothing is going to happen, do you hear me?” she whispered into my ear, her voice low. “I will never, ever let anyone take you away from me ever again. Do you understand?”

  I sunk into her embrace, holding her just as tightly myself. We were twined together, merged, Kane and I…and everything felt exactly as it should be.

  “Yes,” I answered her, melting against her side. “Yes,” I repeated. “Never again.”

  Bran glanced outside, at the open balcony door and stood smoothly, padding over to it to give us a small bit of space. I lifted my chin and I sought Kane’s mouth. I closed my eyes tightly as we connected, as her mouth found my own, and I kissed her so deeply that I felt my love for her emanating from my very bones.

  My soul was connected to her in a way I could never articulate or understand. Across time, across space, across lives, I had somehow found her again. She was my one true love, my soul mate, the woman I was destined to be with…forever. And I had found her again.

  I was so grateful that my entire being was gratitude, in that moment, as Kane and I kissed passionately.

  From the fervor of her kiss, I could only imagine she felt the same way.

  Bran cleared her throat from across the room and Kane and I untangled from one another, flushed. “Sorry to be a bother,” said Bran with a cheeky little grin, “but we’re losing time.” She gestured outside. The day was gray and gloomy, but even without evidence of the sun, it seemed that it was starting to darken. “What do we need for a wedding?” asked Bran then, her smile deepening.

  “Gwen,” I said breathlessly. Kane stood and offered her hands down to me and pulled me up easily. For my part, my legs were fairly wobbly, but I managed to stand on my own after a long moment. My head was woozy, my entire body felt as if it had been hit by a train…but I needed to find the strength to keep going. “And the other Sullivans.”

 

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