As the map faded from view, Fox knew he’d gone too far. Darby caught him as his knees gave way, and hoisted him up with a grunt. “To bed, you reckless fool,” said Darby. But he didn’t sound angry, or irritated. Merely sorry for Fox. Fox could hear scandalized whispers and questions about Lai all the way back to his tent, and the same questions echoed in his mind until, finally, he fell into a mercifully dreamless sleep.
∞∞∞
There was an eager crowd awaiting the Shavid when they rode into Thicca Valley at dusk. Their bright colors had been seen making their way down the mountain road, and a celebration had been prepared for their arrival. Valley folk had come from every farm and home to welcome back the players, and to cheer Fox’s return. It seemed that in the past months since Fox had left, the legendary tales of his defeat of the Underbeast, and his rescue of half of the trader caravan, had only grown. He was praised as a hero from the moment he arrived, leading the Shavid wagons on his solitary horse.
By true nightfall, the Shavid had already set up camp, and their traditional opening performances were mixed and intermingled with the planned festivities of the Thiccans. In Fox’s honor – and, he was certain, intended to embarrass him wholeheartedly – the players had written a short play about the Calibas escape. In it, James played the part of Fox himself, and while the whole piece was meant to be an overly-dramatic portrayal of epic heroism, Fox could feel the truth behind James’s words and presentation: the Shavid were thanking him.
It wasn’t until the actors took their final bow, and were replaced on stage by Tallac the juggler, that Fox was able to extricate himself somewhat from the crowd, and seek haven in the Five Sides. Here, they were obviously preparing for a feast, but the patrons were all still outside, granting Fox a welcome reprieve from all of the attention.
As soon as he stepped inside, warmth flooded him. Not just from the roaring fire pit, its heat making his frozen skin tingle, but from the familiar comfort of the place he’d grown up knowing so well. The old smells came rushing back to him as he breathed in deep. Picck, making rosemary bread in the kitchen. Supple leather boots warming by the hearth. The pipe smoke and ale scents lingered on the air, just as he’d remembered, along with the ever-present smells of wooden furniture, carved from trees that were not found anywhere south of the Highborns.
Home. For a moment, Fox simply stood in the doorway, oblivious to anything but the tavern itself. More than his own family’s cabin, the Five Sides was home. It always had been. And when he imagined leaving Thicca Valley again, this place was the anchor tugging at his soul, begging him to stay put. He could hear the whispers of songs and stories that had filled the common room as early as last night, and in this very second, every part of him longed to remain here forever.
But he knew the moment would pass. Soon, he would be on the road once more, and thrilled to be having a new adventure. It was simply in his blood. But, if he’d had a choice ... right now, staring at the carved initials tattooing the wooden columns and beams, with the mouth-watering scent of Borric’s famous pies calling to him, Fox could imagine choosing to live out the rest of his days here. With Lai.
He hadn’t seen her since his arrival. Now, steeling himself for whatever was coming next, Fox took one final calming breath, and walked confidently back into the kitchen. Immediately, he was met with a flurry of excitement and welcome as the Blackroots noticed him.
“Look at you!” shouted Borric, closing the distance between them in two large strides, and wrapping Fox in a massive hug. Between Borric and Radda, Fox silently mused that he was lucky to still have any functioning ribs. But he laughed and hugged the giant innkeeper back. “You’ve gotten taller, haven’t you!” said Borric, holding a hand level with Fox’s forehead. “Spirit’s breath, my boy, it’s like you’ve gone and turned into a proper man on the road!”
“A strong and handsome one, too,” teased Rose, watching out of the corner of her eye as Picck began to sputter, apparently scandalized.
“Oy!” the baker said, pouting somewhat. “I’ve gotten stronger, too, and you’ve never said anything!”
“Haven’t I?” said Rose impishly, going to her husband and running her flour-caked fingers lovingly through his curls. And then she leaned over and whispered something in Picck’s ear that made him immediately go red.
“I suppose you have,” he conceded, his voice hoarser now.
“It’s good to see you too, Picck,” said Fox with a smirk.
“So then,” said Borric, clapping his hands together. “How long will you be here? A couple of days? A few weeks? I suppose it would be too much to hope for all winter.”
“Not quite sure,” admitted Fox. He hadn’t thought to ask Farran how quickly they’d need to depart, and now he was not sure he wanted to know. There was too much to see and do now that he was back in Thicca Valley. “I’m hoping to stay for a bit, but ... when the wind calls ...” He cleared his throat, not sure how to approach the subject casually. “I suppose I should see people, as many as I can, just in case. Word’s been sent to my parents, so they’ll be here any minute. But ... do you know where Lai is? She wasn’t outside, and I thought she might be here ... ”
There was a drastic shift in the mood, and Fox could feel the discomfort suddenly tainting the air. He could taste sweat and nerves as Picck and Rose suddenly busied themselves with other things. They both decided, almost at once, that they should go check on the baby upstairs, and Fox was left alone in the kitchen with Borric.
He waited for the innkeeper to speak first. Borric leaned against one of the counter tops, sizing Fox up for a moment before he began.
“I know you and my daughter have always been ... close. You’ve been nigh on inseparable since you were both learning to walk. And I’ll be the first to admit, I wouldn’t have been surprised if you had, one day, begun to court her.” Borric rubbed his forehead, brows knit together in apparent frustration. “But things have ... changed, since you left. I doubt she’s found the time to write you about it, she said you’d stopped responding to her letters.”
“Not by choice,” said Fox, somewhat defensively.
“Be that as it may,” said Borric, “Lai’s found a partner here in the valley. Good lad, name of Cullen. Not sure you ever met him. His family were among the Hammon refugees we took in after the Desolata.”
So it’s my fault he’s here in the first place, Fox thought bitterly to himself. But he remained quiet as Borric continued.
“They’ve been training together, building up the local militia. They make a good team. They’re strong.” Here, Borric paused for a long moment, and glanced away, no longer meeting Fox’s gaze. “Cullen has made his intentions clear, and Lai has accepted. The pair will be wed in the spring.”
The reaction within Fox was instantaneous. Had he not already witnessed Lai’s affections toward Cullen last night, he would have lost all control. Now, he was at least partially prepared for the sudden onslaught of sensations the wind began to assault him with. He clenched his fists as shivers began to wrack his body, trying to ignore the unbidden smells and sounds and rushes of nearby emotion. A year ago, the moment would have overwhelmed him completely. Still, even now, the experience was far from enjoyable. But he would have done it a thousand times over if he could somehow undo Borric’s words. Courtship was one thing. He’d been prepared for that. But marriage ... the thought of Lai starting a life here with someone else ...
“Is he good to her?” Fox finally managed to ask.
“You think he’d still be walking on two legs if he wasn’t?” At this, Fox let out a dry laugh, finally starting to shake off the horrible shivers. “Listen,” Borric said, now looking Fox straight in the eyes with all seriousness. “She’ll always be my daughter, blood be damned. And my little girl deserves to be happy.”
“I don’t believe she would have chosen him if he wouldn’t make her so,” admitted Fox.
“And I don’t believe she’d have chosen him at all, if she thought other doors were
still open,” said Borric pointedly.
“She belongs here,” said Fox, irritation beginning to creep into his voice now. “And if she has found someone who can give her a life that others can’t ...” He swallowed, admitting his own newfound worries out loud for the first time. “If he can give her a life that I can’t, who am I to take that away from either of them?”
“Do you love her?”
“I could never keep her safe,” insisted Fox. “More than anything, Calibas proved that I’m not the hero and protector I should be. It’s a miracle I’m still alive.”
“But do you love her?” asked Borric again.
“The world out there is dangerous,” Fox pressed on. “And I am doomed to wander it forever. She should keep her own home here, where she’ll be safe, and taken care of.”
“Gods smite you, boy,” shouted Borric. “Do you love her?!”
“More than my own life!” Fox snapped finally. “And that means I would do anything to keep her safe! Including letting her go.”
A moment of silence hung between them, until Borric smiled sadly. “You daft lad,” he said quietly. “You’ve known her longer and better than almost anyone. You truly think she can’t take care of herself?”
For a moment, Fox’s resolve wavered. If Gully could travel with them, why not Lai? She was certainly more capable, and she had Farran to look after her as well. Lai was, in fact, so very up to the task that, briefly, Fox wondered if he wasn’t overreacting. The choice was hers, after all ... perhaps, if she knew how Fox felt, she would choose to come with him. To leave Thicca Valley behind, and follow the wind with Fox and Farran.
And then, the true realization sunk in, and the sudden hopefulness faded. “I’m not strong enough,” said Fox, his voice low as he fought his way through the words. “I am not capable of living in a world where I’m constantly terrified of losing her. If she’s here ... she may not be mine, but I will always know she’s looked after.”
He half expected Borric to argue. Instead, the innkeeper sighed, and crossed to a nearby cupboard. He pulled out two tankards, and a bottle of something dark and sweet-smelling. “You’re old enough to make those sorts of choices? Then you’re old enough to drink to your heartbreak.” He poured them each a glass, and the two raised them in a toast. “Here’s to the ones left behind.”
The spiced wine burned Fox’s throat, but he forced it down. A second glass followed, and by the time the crowds began to fill the tavern for a late dinner and celebration, Fox’s melancholy had faded somewhat. Borric assured him it was only a side-effect of the drink, but it was enough. He could brave the common room without wallowing in bitterness and regret. And he only hoped that the sensation would last through the night.
∞∞∞
“Sounds to me like you’ve become even more of a legend than you were when you left,” said Father. Fox sat with his parents at a small corner table, isolated enough that they could speak freely without shouting over the song and the sounds of gambling bets being placed.
“Your new little one has a lot to live up to,” replied Fox, grinning at Mother. The news that he’d be getting a younger sibling had thrilled him. Fox had often worried about his parents growing old without help, all alone in their cabin. Now, though his heart ached that he wouldn’t often be around to see the child grow up, he felt at ease knowing the Foxglove line would live on, even with Fox himself wandering all corners of the world.
“I’ll read the babe your letters and stories from the moment it’s born,” promised Mother, squeezing Fox’s hand across the table. “And we’ll all be waiting for you, no matter when the wind brings you home.”
“I only wish I knew when that would be,” Fox admitted. For some time, the Foxgloves sat in comfortable conversation, eating their way through thick potato and rabbit stew, hot vegetable pie, and sweet cakes laden with nuts and various fruits. They spoke of everything from the road to the valley, and simply enjoyed each other’s company. For none of them did know when they would meet again, and Fox’s last departure had been fairly sudden. Now, they were taking advantage of their warm and comfortable reunion, and did not dwell on the future wanderings that would take Fox away once more.
And then, shortly before midnight, the door of the Five Sides swung open, letting in a bitter chill and a flurry of snow as a solitary figure stood framed in the doorway. Her familiar scent reached Fox before he dared turn around. She smelled warm and freezing cold all at once, the bite of frost and ice mingling with the ever-present flowery aroma that filled her hair. There was more of Farran in her now than there had been before, and Fox thought he felt the echoes of ocean water rushing across her skin.
For many in the common room, nothing changed. They went about their songs and storytelling, the raucous laughter and clank of dishes continuing to fill the tavern without missing a beat. But for Fox, as he finally turned to face her, the room might as well have been empty and still. He met Lai’s gaze across the room, and scrambled to find words for a proper greeting. He started to take a step toward her, clearing his throat nervously. But then, the moment didn’t matter anymore. Lai was already rushing to him, pushing her way past patrons and dodging expertly around dancing couples, before throwing herself unceremoniously into Fox’s arms, with an embrace that almost knocked him flat. He hugged her back, barely resisting the urge to tangle his fingers in her hair. Instead, he let his arms wrap tightly around her, sure for a moment that he would never be able to make himself let go. He breathed in every sensation on her skin. He could smell the cold, and feel the flush of excitement. He thought he smelled the forest, pine sap clinging to her clothes and dead leaves caked along the bottom of her boots. And, he could feel how happy she was to see him.
Mustering every ounce of self-control he had, Fox squeezed her tighter for a single heartbeat, and then let go, allowing Lai to pull back so they could inspect each other. Her face was bright red from the cold, her long black hair powdered with snow and ice. She had been hunting, Fox was certain of it. Father had informed him of their new arrangement, which at least explained why she hadn’t been here when the Shavid arrived.
“You got taller,” said Lai, placing one hand affectionately on his cheek as she looked him over.
“You’ve let your hair down,” Fox replied. They both grinned nervously at each other, unsure of what else to say. There were a thousand stories Fox wanted to tell her, and a thousand more he wanted to hear.
“I imagine the pair of you have quite a lot of catching up to do,” said Father smoothly.
“Oh!” said Lai, apparently noticing Mother and Father for the first time. She blushed, though it was barely distinguishable from the crimson of cold already coloring her cheeks and nose. “I wouldn’t want to interrupt, you both have your own —”
“Oh we’ve had plenty of time with him this evening,” said Mother, starting to stand and pulling her husband to his feet behind her. “Besides, it’s far past the hour I’m usually in bed, and I think it’s time we turn in for the night.” She kissed Fox on his cheek. “We’ll see you in the morning, darling. Don’t go running off after the wind before then.”
“I promise,” said Fox. Father winked at him as the two departed, and Fox and Lai were left alone at the table.
“How long are you here for?” asked Lai, a bit of nervousness creeping into her voice now. It was as though she didn’t really want to know the answer.
“Long enough,” said Fox. “I hope.” He looked around the Five Sides with a sigh. “Dreams, I have missed this place. No roadside tavern has ever felt the same.”
Lai slipped her hand in his, and Fox was sure she could feel his skin begin to heat and prickle. “It’ll be here tomorrow,” she said, starting to pull him away. “Tonight, we’ve got too much to catch up on.”
“You’re sure you don’t have ... other obligations?” said Fox carefully.
“They’ll be here tomorrow, too.”
She led him upstairs to her room. It was unfamiliar to Fox – when he�
��d left Thicca Valley, Lai had been sharing rooms with Borric. Now, she had her own space, and Fox’s jaw dropped when he entered. Every surface looked like it belonged at the bottom of the ocean, or in a captain’s quarters on board a pirate ship.
“What has he done to it?” whispered Fox, turning slowly about the room, trying to take in everything.
“He didn’t,” said Lai. “I did. Or, my magic did, all on its own.”
She waved a hand, and the flames in the fireplace began to swell and grow without her touching them. Heat washed over the room, and Lai began to strip off the outer layers of her hunting clothes. She hung her scarf and cloak on a peg near the fire, where they began to dry. But, where small puddles of melted snow should have gathered beneath them, the room itself seemed to absorb the water. Each drop disappeared into the floor at once.
“I think you may be right,” said Fox with a nervous chuckle. “Other obligations can wait. You and I have a lot to discuss.”
∞∞∞
Hours passed, marked by stories. The longer Fox and Lai spoke, the easier it was to simply fall back into their old habits. No matter the new, confusing emotions Fox found himself at war with, Lai was still his closest friend in the world. And he had missed her presence. The sound of her voice. The shimmer in her eye and the impish smirk when she got excited about something.
A fresh dawn was gleaming through the window by the time they’d finished recounting their own adventures to each other. Their voices were raw from talking all night, but Fox wasn’t the slightest bit tired. Nor, it seemed, was Lai. They planned an entire day of excursions around the valley, where Fox could catch up on the latest Thiccan gossip, and stop back in his favorite stores. And, though he wasn’t looking forward to that part of the day, an opportunity for Fox to meet Cullen.
It had taken Lai some time to come around to telling Fox about her engagement. When she finally had, she dropped it casually into the middle of a story about the milita, and Fox reacted as appropriately as he could, showering her with congratulations, and promising that he would try and wander back into town for the wedding. In his heart, however, Fox silently prayed to Farran that their journey would keep them out of Sovesta for the entire wedding season.
Inkspice (The Mapweaver Chronicles Book 2) Page 30