by Bella Wright
“Don’t I? Farm Boy?’ That was a low blow, calling him what I had heard Jane say, as I left the hall the other night.
But he seemed unbothered. He was much better at this than me. “Doesn’t seem like your scene either, caring about people isn’t the Izzy I used to know.”
“And what was the Izzy you used to know?”
Sally chirped up in a tone of voice that was friendly but had urgency behind it. “Guys, you realize you’re making a scene?” I looked up and saw a bunch of charity drivers, mostly old people, watching our little show.
“Let’s go outside,” I said to him. And he nodded.
Walking next to him, I was so aware of his overwhelming size. I felt kind of, protected? Standing next to him. Which was silly, because I wasn't his to protect.
And I hardly needed protection here. But still, it was nice.
Eventually, we got outside into the hallway, in private.
And there we stood, facing each other, knowing we were going to have a confrontation.
But when it came to it, neither of us seemed to want to talk first. It was apparent.
“So, you were saying?” I wanted to punish him, get under his skin, so he’d snap and tell me whatever it was I did to him.
“I was saying, I don’t think someone like you would help out at a charity bake sale.” he crossed his arms.
I didn't help out, I organized it!” I crossed my arms right back at him.
“Why?” he asked, almost yelling back, but I could tell by the look on his face, that the way he reacted, what kind of answer he was going to get.
“Because my mom died from it,” I said. And he said nothing.
Then, “Oh, I see.”
“Yea.”
I uncrossed my arms and scratched one of them, feeling awkward.
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“It was a while ago now, but thank you.”
“You know, I know about losing parents.”
I looked up at him. “I know, you left, after your… yea. I never saw you again.”
“I’ve got a habit of disappearing, don't I? I did it at the farm too. After I lost my pa.”
“Your pa?” I asked, the breath seemed all gone from me now.
“Oh, that's what I called him.”
I wanted very much to rub his arm supportively. “I’m really sorry to hear that Matt.”
“Thank you. Anyway, I came into some money, and I wanted to give some to charity, but I didn't know who to give to. When I saw this bake sale, I thought it’d be as good one as any.”
“Well, it’d mean the world to me, but that probably isn’t a selling point for you.”
He looked up and smiled. “I wouldn’t say that. Anyway, did I see your muffins? I haven't had one of those in ages.”
“Well, you could’ve come back to my store.'' I said, and I kind of regretted saying it, I knew that was muddy ground we still had to dread over, and we were just managing to become friendly again.
Before he could reply. I said. “Come on, have one on the house.”
“Alright.” he said. “But not on the house, this is a charity, not a very good charity leader if you’re giving stuff out for free are you?” he grinned, and I punched him on the arm playfully.
We entered laughing and Sally looked at us surprised but knew better than to comment on it. I stood in front of the table and offered him one.
He took a big bite and his eyes did that rolling thing one does when eating something delicious, I beamed with pride.
He swallowed. “You should be selling these everywhere, you’d make a killing.”
“Thanks.’ I said, grinning. I didn't really know what to say to that. Apart from “thanks.”
“anyway.” he said and pulled something out of his pocket, a little book.
“Have you got a pen?”
“Sure.” I handed him one and his thumb lightly grazed my hand, I felt the echo of that touch long after it ended.
And he was writing something down, I realized it was a checkbook and looked away. I didn't want to be rude.
He folded up the paper and slipped it inside the box.
“Thanks for the muffin. I’ll see you around Izzy. maybe at your store.”
“Yea.” I said, nearly speechless, as he walked out.
“Damn, this is a good muffin,” he said again. And I went red as he left the hall.
I looked at Sally.
Then we looked at the donation box.
“Why would he write a check, who writes a check at a bake sale?”
“Because…”
“Because he gave some crazy huge amount.”
“It'd be wrong to look wouldn't it?” she said.
“Yep, completely wrong.” I said, as I lifted the lid and found the paper.
I unfolded it. My eyes widened, I folded it back up and put the lid on the box, like nothing had happened.
“I need too… I need..” I stammered.
“That much huh?” her eyebrows raised.
“Yea, I’m gonna go thank him. Can you look after the stall?’
“Wait, before you go, how much did he give?”
I leaned in and whispered into her ear.
“Holy moly, action man’s rich too!”
I laughed. ‘Yea, I know.” as I left to catch up after him.
He was strolling down the hall, only just about to get to the exit. “Hey, Matt, wait!”
“Hmm?” when he turned to look at me I went breathless.
“I just wanted to erm, thank you for that donation.”
He raised his eyebrows at me and suddenly I felt a lot smaller. “You looked, didn't you?”
I said nothing. And he laughed. “Isn’t that against the rules or something?”
“Well, technically, yes.” I twirled my hair. What was I, a teenager? I quickly put my hand down and he laughed again.
“Well, seeing as you did that, then you can go on a date with me, to pay me back. How does that sound?”
My eyes widened. “What, are you serious?”
“You don’t want to? It’d make sense a woman like you would be taken already. I must’ve missed my chance after the school reunion.”
“No, I want to! I can! When?”
“When do you finish here?”
“6.”
“I'll see you here then Izzy.” he walked off, and I almost reached out to him.
“Thanks Matt.” I said, quietly, as he pushed the door he looked back and smiled at me.
He left, and I stood there like a gormless idiot. It was only a moment after that I realized I would need to take the collected money home before I could go out. But that didn't matter, it meant that I could get changed and then look all cute for him. This town was so small everyone walked everywhere, so he wouldn’t mind waiting a little, or meeting me at the bar. I only had my car because of the charity drive.
As I walked back to the stall, I found I couldn’t stop smiling. I tried to stop and straighten my face, but every time a huge grin came across it.
I was going on a date with the hottest guy in town! The guy all those women lusted after! If only Jane was here so I could rub it in her face. But she wouldn’t show her face here, she wasn’t the sort to do a charity bake sale.
And I wondered then, what did he mean? “I don’t think someone like you would help out at a charity bake sale.”
I hadn’t done anything to deserve such a scathing remark, at least I thought I hadn't. The good thing about tonight was that I'd have a chance to ask him. And as there would be drinking, it wouldn’t be so awkward to ask such a question.
I pushed open the door to the bustling charity sale, and found a little que had formed again at my stall.
“Took your time!” she said, glancing at me. And then she looked back at me, I could feel her gaze on me. “What are you smiling about? Fix things with action-man then?”
“We have a date.” I beamed.
The customer in front of me, an old lady who sometim
es came into my shop, couldn’t have helped overhearing. She said. “Good for you Izzy! A girl like you can't spend all her time helping people. She's gotta have a little fun too.”
“You’re right, I do!” I grinned. “Here's your muffin.”
I passed her it and she wrapped it in a tissue and placed it in her handbag. “Oh to be young again.” she chuckled to herself, hobbling to another stall.
“We’re almost out.” Sally said.
“I never seem to make enough.” I mused. Looking at the last few muffins left.
“A nice problem to have.” she said, as she started cleaning up.
“What's the time?”
“5:40.” Sally said.
“Oh gosh, I better start cleaning up!” I started cleaning up the treys, stacking them and then putting the donation box on top of them. “Well that hardly took long.” I said bemused. “No time at all.” said a manly voice. I turned to face him and jumped.
God he was tall. “Hey! You’re early!” my voice was a little more high pitched then I would’ve liked.
“Wondered if you’d need a little help clearing up, looks like you’ve got it all handled though.”
“Yea?” I scorched my arm. “I actually have to take all this home, I didn't think about it before! Sorry! The banks closed now.” I looked more guilty than I should have, considering he just smiled. “No problem. Would you like me to come with you? Make sure no one steals the donations.”
I laughed, a little too loudly. “In this town? They wouldn’t so much as steal your parking spot.”
“Ah, ok, I’ll meet you at the bar?”
But I didn't want to spend a moment away from him “No, it’s ok, you can come!”
I needed to get changed into something cuter. But I didn't want to tell him that. I thought he could come to my apartment and wait on the couch, whilst I got ready and then wowed him by coming out of my bedroom in a much cuter outfit.
“Sure!’ I was almost yelling. Then quieted my voice into a hushed whisper. “Sure… that sounds great!” I picked up the heavy trays and donation box but he held out his hands. “I’ll take that.”
I handed it to him and he took it like it was weightless.
Now that was gone from my grasp all I had to do was look at him. I hadn’t taken full stock of him before. And the more I looked the more embarrassed I felt about my grubby attire. He was wearing a nice shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and jeans that were just a tad too tight in exactly the right way that would make me feel dizzy if I looked at them any longer. And his scent! Something like woody richness. Nothing like the usual cheap body spray men way too liberally applied here.
“Alright kids, I'm heading off, you two have fun!” Sally chimed, wiping the sweat from her brow as she held out her arms to hug me and pecked me on the cheek.
And then she was gone.
Now the safety buffer of a third person was gone, we were left to ourselves. “Let's get out of here.” I said.
“Sure thing cutie.”
“Oh stop, I look a state!” I said, going red in the cheeks as we walked out of the hall. Even though his hands were full he still opened the door for me.
“Are you sure? You were the hottest girl there!”
“Ha! Most of the people in there were over 60 apart from me and Sally, very funny.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Well, I don’t know, old Dorothy was giving me the eyes earlier. Think you’ve got competition.”
I punched him in the arm playfully, it was like pushing a stone statue, he was entirely unaffected with it. Which was good, it would’ve been a disaster if I had made him drop everything, all that money flying everywhere.
We got to my car, and I unlocked the boot with my car, he pulled it open and effortlessly slid the stuff inside the boot, whilst I got in the front seat, the slamming of the boot door made me jump a little.
I was pretty damn nervous, and when he climbed into my car, it sank down to the ground, the springs surely doing their work to keep the car up, I thought I was heavy, but it turns out muscles weigh a lot more.
It was almost comical, the way I drove the car down a few blocks to get to my house. Boy this town was small I thought, as I got out the car, he walked around to the boot and picked up the donations.
I was actually glad I had him here to carry this stuff for me now, even the short distance from the house to the car would’ve been a bit of a struggle.
And I wouldn't have been able to look at his flexed muscles, the vein popping out of one of them, I bit my lip.
“So, we gonna drop this off?” he said, bringing me back to reality.
“Sorry, yes of course!’ I laughed like a madwoman.
“Relax, it's only me, little Matt.” he grinned, knowing full well there was nothing little about him.
I wondered if he had had a similar growth elsewhere.
I shook my head, I had to get those kinds of thoughts out of them, he was coming into my apartment! This wasn’t the time to get carried away, not before our date.
After, maybe… if I was lucky…
“Nobody calls you that anymore.” I said, under my breath, as I pulled my house keys out and pointed it at the lock, my hands shaking.
“You did.” he said behind me, I could almost feel his breath in the back of my neck, or maybe it was my imagination, either way, it made my knees shake, and goose pimples come up all over my body as I pushed the door open and walked inside, he followed and closed the door behind him.
‘ I did? Welcome, you can just put the box over there.” I pointed next to the cabinet in my hallway. The lights were dimmed, and as I put them on, nothing happened. “Must’ve had a power cut.”
The stuff fell down with a light thud, it still made me jump.
I watched his huge shadowy figure as he picked up something.
“Ah, I found the same photo unpacking the other day,” he said, picking up the framed photo of my school class.
“It's a nice memory.”
“The last time I was here,” he said, raising his eyebrows at me.
I felt myself overcome with a flood of emotion. “I missed you, you know. There wasn’t any way for me to contact you, you just up and left.”
“I had a good reason.” he said softly. Referring to his parents.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” I said.
But he looked up at me, I could feel his eyes burning into me. “What was that you said, you missed me?”
“Of course I did!”
He laughed, and I found that confusing, what was so funny about it. I took a step forward towards him. The light from the lamp outside was illuminating his silhouette, he stood in darkness.
“You made my life hell.”
That was the last thing I would have ever expected him to say. I was speechless. I just stood there waiting for him to continue, but he wouldn't. So I said. ”What, no I didn't?”
“I guess you wouldn’t remember, it was probably just a bit of fun for you.”
He was hardly breathing, so calm, standing there, making me feel so very small.
“I thought… I…”
And memories come flashing back, real memories. Of me teasing him, embarrassing him in front of the class.
“I had a crush on you.” I simply said.
“A crush?” that surprised him.
“Yea, like, you know when a boy throws rocks at the girl he has a crush on, pulls her hair. It was that kind of thing.”
He grinned. “That was the last thing I was expecting you to say.”
“There's a lot of that going around.” I said. “I’m sorry, I was just a dumb kid.”
“We all were.” he said. Sounding a little friendlier now. I was beginning to relax again.
Was it really that simple? Was that all this was about, and he had forgiven me, just like that?
“So, you forgive me? Because I did really have a crush on you, I was just dumb. And boy, I really have one on you now too!”
“Maybe, I do, but I can’t h
elp but remember that little game you used to play with me.”
“What was that?” I took another step forward, but my breath became even shorter.
He stepped forward, my neck arched up to look at him ,the shadows half covering his face, I was almost trembling.
He held his hand out, for what? I put my hand out and he took it. As if inspecting it. “You used to bend my finger back, until I was on my knees, and you’d only let go after I begged you for forgiveness for whatever made-up thing I did. You were a lot taller than me then.” he laughed. Letting go of my hand, I felt the after-effects of his touch still, even though it was gone.
“I’m sorry.” I said, looking down and my vision got caught on his zipper.
“That kind of apology wasn’t good enough from me then, was it? So why should I accept it from you now?”
“Because… we’re older now, and I am so sorry! I would never do anything like that now. I’m a different person. That was over a decade ago!”
He said nothing, merely stood there, looking down at me, it felt like he was judging me.
And I wasn’t being judged favorably. I looked up at him but he said nothing, I felt like he was content to just stand there, calmy breathing and enjoying my discomfort.
“What can I do?” I asked. “I’ll do anything to show you.”
He smiled. ‘Well, you made me get on my knees and beg for forgiveness then, why don’t you do that now? I’ll be kind enough not to bend your finger back to make you.”
I would do whatever he said.
I got on my knees, stumbling a bit at first I had to grab onto his jeans to hold myself steady.
I looked ahead and saw I was face to face with his bulge, I looked up quickly.
“I'm sorry. Please forgive me.”
He stroked my hair and I found myself smiling and shuddering in a strange kind of pleasure. “Hmm.”
I gripped onto his jeans. “Please, I’ll do anything.”
His face expressionless. So I looked back down and saw it. I saw his bulge.
And realized I was still gripping onto his jeans, I leaned my head forward and licked my lips.
“What if I do that? Will you forgive me then?”
He took a step back, my hands fell and I was left there on my knees.
“I would never make you do something like that.” he took a step forward, kneeled down to me on my level, and took my head in his hands. “I forgive you.”