Second Chance Mom

by EMILIE ROSE

A family. The three of them were a family. One that should never have been torn apart.

  “Lord, thank you for this food. May it nourish us so that we can do your will. Amen. Let’s eat,” Chastity rattled off as fast as an auctioneer and snatched her hand free.

  Matt didn’t know whether to be taken aback or amused. Instead he added his “Amen” and waited for Rachel to serve slices.

  He took a bite. If he weren’t so nervous, his taste buds would be high-fiving. “This is the best pizza I’ve ever had.”

  “One of my early shift leaders was a transplanted Italian from New York. He gave me the recipe, and he showed Chastity how to toss the dough. You remember that?”

  “Yeah. It was cool. But it was like...a long time ago.”

  “You were eight. Dom cooked for us during your last visit.”

  A shaft of jealousy shot through him. Who was Dom and what was he to Rachel? Coworkers didn’t usually get invited to cook dinner for your family.

  “Are you looking forward to camp?” he asked Chastity.

  She shot him a look that said, “Stupid question.” “Yes.”

  “Have you stayed in a dorm before?”

  “No.”

  “Think you and Jess will get to room together?”

  “Yes.” Then, ignoring the sharp look Rachel shot her, Chastity shoved a huge bite into her mouth. He got the message—leave her alone. So much for father/daughter bonding. Not that he’d throw in the towel that easily.

  He ate and tried not to stare. At Chastity. At Rachel. But he couldn’t help making comparisons. Their gestures were so similar. The old “nature versus nurture” argument played in his head. Did Chastity have any of his mannerisms?

  Chastity caught him staring midway through the meal and scowled. “Jessica’s trying to decide what to do for her birthday,” he said in an attempt to cover his fascination with her. “Do you have any suggestions?”

  Chastity turned to Rachel. “Will we be here for it? It’s the week after camp.”

  Rachel blotted her mouth and took a sip of drink. He recognized stalling when he saw it. “We’ll do our best.”

  She hadn’t told Chastity about their discussion. Matt reined in his impatience. He focused on Chastity. “What kinds of birthday parties have you had?”

  Chastity shrugged. “I didn’t have parties. Well, not recently. Mom said it was selfish to devote a whole day to yourself.”

  Rachel’s mouth curved down. “That’s a leftover from your grandparents. You’ll have a party this year.”

  The teen almost cracked a smile. “For real?”

  “Count on it.”

  “How did you and your mom usually celebrate?” Matt asked, determined to understand Hope and the way she’d raised his daughter. Pam had never mentioned Hope refusing to celebrate Chastity’s birthday.

  “We used to go visit Aunt Rachel till—” her eyes locked with Rachel’s “—till we stopped. Year before last Mom and I had a dinner here. She cooked all of my favorites, and we decorated the cake together. Last year we drove to Raleigh to buy school clothes and supplies and spent a weekend at a hotel.”

  Rachel’s expression turned defensive. “When Hope and Chastity came to visit me, we always celebrated in a big way, didn’t we, kiddo? What would you like to do for your birthday this year?”

  “I don’t know. You always planned the coolest stuff. Surprise me.”

  “You got it.”

  “But I want Anna and Jess there.”

  “We’ll try. You’ll all be back in school then, so it might be tough.”

  Matt wanted to be a part of planning Chastity’s party. And he wanted it to be here. But until she knew he was her father, he didn’t have that right to insist.

  “Can I get a job after we move?” Chastity asked.

  Matt gritted his teeth on the need to tell her she wouldn’t be moving. Not if he had anything to say about it.

  “Why?” Rachel asked.

  “Because I want to be able to pay for riding lessons and clothes and stuff so I can ride with Anna. You shouldn’t have to pay for everything. And you always had a job when you were in school.”

  “You did?” Matt asked. She hadn’t been working when he knew her.

  “After we left Johnstonville, yes.”

  She’d been pregnant. “Doing what?”

  “I got a job at a women’s health clinic. Mostly cleaning and some paperwork. I worked there after school until...college.”

  Until Chastity had been born, he guessed. “Is that what turned you toward nursing?”

  “Yes, I liked knowing I was helping people.”

  Their gazes held. He’d misjudged her in so many ways.

  “What was my dad like?” Chastity blurted, clearly not liking them paying attention to each other.

  Rachel went as still as prey—the way she had in his office. “What did your mother tell you about him?”

  “Nothing. Every time I asked, she started crying and said it hurt too much to think about that sad time in her life.” Chastity fussed with her fork. “But I need to know. Did he have brown hair like me?”

  Rachel twisted her napkin. Matt wanted to see how she’d handle direct questions. Would she lie?

  “No, he’s...he had blond hair.”

  “So I got my coloring from granddad. That’s what Mom always said. I wish the pictures hadn’t burned in the fire.”

  Rachel quickly ducked her head and took a huge bite of pizza. He’d bet his next paycheck it wasn’t because she was hungry.

  “Was he good-looking? Is that how he swept Mom off her feet?”

  Rachel’s cheeks turned pink. She glanced at Matt. Dangerous territory. He was glad he wasn’t the one being interrogated. “Yes, he was very attractive.”

  “Tall, short, fat, skinny?” Chastity persisted.

  Rachel squirmed. “Tall and...and well built.”

  “What kinds of things did he like to do?”

  Rachel looked so uncomfortable he ought to save her, but he didn’t. Maybe she’d understand how badly Chastity needed to know her father if he let the teen keep grilling her.

  “He was, um...athletic and smart.”

  “I figured he’d be a geek if he hooked up with Mom. But what was he like as a person? Mom said they met on a cruise, and she married him right away.”

  “He was a good listener. He had a way of making things make sense.” The softness of her voice caressed his wounded ego, but she didn’t even glance his way.

  “A good listener? Ugh. Sounds like a wimp.”

  His thoughts exactly. But he couldn’t defend himself or remind Rachel of their explosive chemistry now.

  “No, not at all. He was...special.”

  Chastity’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “How special?”

  “Special enough for your mother to fall in love with him.”

  “Why do you think she fell for him?” Matt asked, even though he knew he shouldn’t needle her.

  Rachel’s eyebrows lowered. “He was generous, and he played fair. He never kicked a man—or woman—when she was down. He was ambitious and had big dreams, the kind of guy every girl hopes she’ll meet when she grows up.”

  Chastity set her glass down with a thud. “Sounds like you were in love with him yourself. Maybe he should have married you. Maybe then he wouldn’t be dead.”

  The angst in Chastity’s voice made Matt feel like an ass for goading Rachel.

  Rachel pushed away her plate. “If he’d married me, then we wouldn’t be sitting here or having this conversation. Now back to your desire for a job... Finding ways to support your hobbies is a great goal, but any extracurricular activities will be dependent on your grades. Like cheerleading camp, you’re going to have to earn the right to work.”


  As good a segue as he was going to get. “Chastity, I saw in your file that you have dyslexia.”

  He caught Rachel’s horrified expression out of the corner of his eye.

  “You had no right to look at my file! You’re not my teacher!” Chastity cried, her face turning deep red.

  “I asked Matt to fax your records to your new school,” Rachel defended.

  “He shouldn’t have read them.”

  “I had to sort out what the school needed and what it didn’t,” Matt explained. “I do it for my athletes all the time.”

  “I’m not one of your athletes, and my life is none of your business.”

  He’d screwed this up. He had to fix it. “Chastity, I have dyslexia, too. And sometimes I used behavior to hide it from others. I suspect that’s what you’ve done lately. I could give you some tips on managing your learning style that don’t involve detention.”

  It didn’t look like his painful confession earned him any points. “I see the resource teacher three times a week. I don’t need your help.”

  “Chastity—” Rachel scolded and Matt lifted a hold-it finger.

  “I’m sorry if my knowing bothers you. But the offer stands. If you want to talk to someone who’s been there, I have.”

  “I don’t.” The kid stewed for three minutes, a mutinous expression on her face. “Rachel said y’all used to date.”

  Matt tensed at the accusatory tone, but he put on his game face. He refused to let her see him sweat. “That’s right.”

  “Did you dump her?”

  “Chastity—” Rachel scolded again, and again Matt held up a hand. The kid was testing him and striking back.

  “No. We met when I was at home from college on Christmas break. Then I went back. I wrote her, but she didn’t get my letters and didn’t know I wanted to see her again. When I came home on spring break, she and your mother had moved away.”

  “So she dumped you.”

  “Circumstances split us up,” he corrected.

  “So why did you date my mom?”

  “She asked. And we had common interests—”

  “Oh, please. Mom hated sports.”

  “Church, family and community,” he continued, trying very hard not to lose his patience or his temper.

  “It’s sick. You dating Aunt Rachel, then my mom and now Rachel again.” She turned to Rachel. “May I be excused? I have homework to do.”

  Rachel sighed and laid down her napkin. “Don’t you want cake?”

  “No. I can’t eat it. I’ll get fat.”

  “Then you may be excused. If you need help—”

  “I can do my homework. I may not be like everybody else, but I’m not stupid.” And then she stormed out. Moments later the stereo blared.

  Matt sat shell-shocked. He hadn’t expected open hostility. “That didn’t go well.”

  Rachel’s worry-clouded gaze met his. “I warned you it wouldn’t.”

  “I won’t give up, Rachel.”

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  RACHEL SAT AT the table, willing her tension to drain away, but her usual biofeedback techniques failed. The meal had been uncomfortable to say the least. Describing Chastity’s fictional father in front of her real one, combined with not wanting to slip up or reveal how much she’d loved and desired Matt and how strongly he still affected her had been more than awkward.

  Matt had been very patient with Chastity. She shouldn’t be surprised, though. He’d been that easygoing with her when she’d been a troubled teen, too.

  “I’ll help you with the dishes,” he offered. “It’s the least I can do for putting you through that.”

  Not knowing how to politely refuse, Rachel collected plates, carried them to the sink and turned on the tap.

  Matt brought the pizza pan and glasses. “I can’t believe Hope made you get a job when you were pr—” Alarmed, Rachel shook her head, and he bit off the word. “You were trying to finish school,” he finished in a lowered voice.

  “She wanted me to earn some money for college and to keep me out of trouble. Besides, the doctors I worked for offered their services in return for my work.”

  “How long did you work?”

  “Until she—” She nodded toward Chastity’s bedroom. She’d gone into labor at work. “Until the day I couldn’t.”

  His lips compressed. “Then what? You’re a nurse. You must have gone to college. Despite all your shenanigans, your grades were always good.”

  “I worked full-time at the clinic until the January semester began. After that I worked part-time during school and full-time during vacations.”

  “How soon did you go back to work after...?”

  “Three weeks.”

  Matt turned abruptly and paced across the room, his anger palpable. “My sister and sister-in-law took off three months.”

  Rachel carefully dried her hands, folded the dish towel and laid it on the counter. “I couldn’t sit around the apartment and watch the two of them bond. That was...” Torture. Chastity’s cries had literally been painful during those early days when Rachel had been waiting for her milk to come in and then dry up. “I needed to go back to work.”

  Remorse filled his face. “If I’d known—”

  “You can’t change the past, Matt. Trust me, I’ve second-guessed my choices more times than I can count. If I had it to do over, I’m sure I’d rewrite history.”

  “Would you change us?” he asked again. She didn’t want to answer. How could she explain that meeting him had been her biggest blessing and, simultaneously, the most crippling curse?

  “Why are you doing this, Matt? You’re tearing me apart.”

  He stopped in front of her, cupping her chin and forcing her to look into his eyes. Her heart lurched into a rapid beat.

  “Would you erase us, Rachel?”

  He wouldn’t quit until she gave him what he wanted. She shook her head. “No. I might change the ending, but I’d never wish we hadn’t met.”

  The memory of the intimacies they’d shared tugged at her. She remembered his taste, his touch, his heat, and she ached for him again. He lowered his head and brushed his lips against hers. She knew they shouldn’t. Not here. Not with Chastity down the hall. But she leaned into him and parted her lips. She couldn’t help herself.

  Matt plundered her mouth, his tongue stroking and evoking a flurry of emotions. The kiss was slick, wet, hot and instantly out of control. He slouched against the counter and widened his stance. Rachel leaned into him, splaying her palms over his chest. His hands stroked down her arms, then he cupped her bottom and pulled her closer until the heat of his erection pressed her belly.

  He still represented everything she wanted...and everything she couldn’t have. She tangled her fingers in his hair, holding him close one last time. The kiss turned salty. They couldn’t do this. She couldn’t do this. Not again. She dropped her forehead to his chest, surreptitiously wiping her face and fighting for breath and strength. When he tried to pull her back, she turned her head to the side and saw Chastity watching them with shock and revulsion on her face. Rachel’s racing heart stalled. Horrified, she pulled away from Matt.

  “You are a tramp, just like Beth’s mom said,” Chastity accused, then she turned and raced toward her bedroom. The door slammed.

  Panic coursed through Rachel’s veins, turning hot passion into icy fear. She put a hand to her brow, trying to think of a way to explain the intimate scene to an emotional teenager. She pointed toward the front door. “Go. Let me deal with this.”

  “Rachel—”

  “Please, Matt, just go home. We’ll talk tomorrow.” Leaving him to let himself out, she went after Chastity. With a bracing breath, she tapped on the closed door. “Chastity?”

  “Go away.”

 
Rachel opened the door. Chastity glared at her. “Can we talk about what you just saw?”

  “What’s to say? You were all over him.”

  Anxiety squeezed Rachel’s chest like a boa constrictor. “I guess it looked that way.” Chastity responded with a snort. “I told you, Matt and I were...friends when I lived in Johnstonville.”

  “How good of friends? Did you sleep with him?”

  Rachel debated telling her it was none of her business, but figured honesty was best. “Yes, I did.”

  Chastity’s accusing glare made Rachel uncomfortable, but she knew how important this conversation could be to their future relationship.

  “So you lied earlier when you said you’d only chased one man.”

  “No, I didn’t lie. Matt is...was that man.” That earned her another snort. “I loved him, Chastity.”

  “Well, he doesn’t love you now. He was going to marry Mom.”

  That hurt even if Matt had claimed it wasn’t true.

  “Chastity,” Matt called from the doorway. Why hadn’t he left?

  “You’re cheating on my mother!”

  “No, I’m not.” Matt entered the room. “I liked and respected your mother, but I wasn’t in love with her. Hope wasn’t in love with me, either. We were lonely. We wanted big families, and life wasn’t turning out the way we’d planned. We started wondering if we’d ever find that special person to spend the rest of our lives with. That led to the two of us talking about marriage—a marriage based on friendship and mutual respect. We would never have gone through with it, but we discussed it a couple of times.”

  “You’re wrong.” Tears streamed down Chastity’s cheeks, making Rachel’s throat ache. “My mother loved you. She told me she did and that she wanted to marry you. She told me you’d be a good dad.”

  Rachel froze. This was the perfect opening for Matt to confess the sordid truth. But it was too soon. It would ruin everything.

  He sat down on the edge of the bed and put a hand on Chastity’s shoulder. She shrugged it off. “Any man would be lucky to have your mother for a wife and you for a daughter.”

  “So why didn’t you marry her?”

  “I didn’t love her like she deserved to be loved. Like the Bible says a man should love his wife.”