by EMILIE ROSE
Shocked, he took a moment to absorb the info. Then he realized if she were still that person she never would have told him the truth. “That was in the past. We’ll make our marriage work.”
She shook her head. “I can’t marry you. You belong here and I can’t stay. All the people I’ve wronged would never let me or Chastity forget my past. I won’t risk them turning against my daughter or destroying your future.”
And that’s when he realized there might not be a way to win this time. He might lose Rachel and Chastity.
He needed his mom’s or dad’s advice. Maybe one of them would have a better perspective on how to work through the problem. But he couldn’t ask them. Not yet. Until he and Rachel came to terms, he couldn’t spread the news that he was a father. And he couldn’t handle his family knowing Rachel had rejected him again.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
MARRY HIM.
Matt’s suggestion whirled in Rachel’s head like helicopter rotors as she pushed through the auditorium doors after speaking at career day.
It wasn’t until Matt had proposed this morning that she realized how badly she’d wanted to say yes, to hell with the consequences. But she couldn’t. Nothing had changed. Putting others first meant she still couldn’t have him. And even if she wanted to be selfish, she loved him too much to ever be happy with the same kind of expedient marriage he’d discussed with her sister.
“Ms. Bishop,” a young voice called out behind her.
Rachel turned and spotted a half-dozen girls hustling to catch up with her. She recognized some of them as the ones who’d shared the lunch table with Chastity the other day. “Yes?”
“We just wanted to thank you for coming today. Your job and your traveling sound so cool. Chastity is lucky to have an aunt who does all the neat stuff you do.”
Did Chastity still think so? “I’m glad you enjoyed my talk. There were a lot of good speakers today.”
“Yeah, but none who’ve been as many places as you. Will you keep traveling once Chastity’s living with you?” the girl in front asked.
“Will you take her on your trips?” another added.
“Most of the places I volunteer are too dangerous.”
“Bummer. Won’t you miss it?”
“Parts of it, sure.” Rachel caught a flash out of the corner of her eye of a red sweater. Chastity had been wearing red today. But the person turned the corner before Rachel could be sure. “But I’ll find other ways to make a difference.”
She debated trying to find her daughter but saw Pam exiting another door. “Good luck on exams,” she told the girls and hustled after Pam.
“Pam,” she called out, and Matt’s sister turned.
“Hey, Rachel. Great presentation.”
“Thanks. Yours, too. Listen, Chastity mentioned an end-of-year party at someone’s farm. I don’t know anything about the Joneses. Is it safe for her to attend?”
“The Joneses are a really nice family from our church. They’ve hosted this party every year for their older boys. Their oldest son played for Matt’s championship team last year, and their second son is on this year’s roster. Ella, their youngest, is in Jessica and Chastity’s class at school and church. She’s a good kid. Jessica’s going.”
“Will it be well supervised?”
“Absolutely. You’ve nothing to worry about.”
“Then I’ll let Chastity go.” She wasn’t crazy about the idea, but it would give Chastity a chance to say goodbye to many of her friends.
“They’ll have a great time. Want me to pick up Chastity on my way?”
“Thanks, it’s nice of you to offer, but I owe you. Why don’t you let me take Jessica?” She wanted to check the place out and meet the parents anyway.
“That’d be great. See you then!”
* * *
RACHEL PARKED IN front of a big red barn Friday evening and turned to Chastity. The teen had been giving off a weird vibe since discovering the truth of her birth on Wednesday, but tonight she was acting even stranger. There was a different kind of tension in the air.
Rachel stopped the car and opened her door.
“What are you doing?” Chastity sounded aghast.
“I’d like to meet the Joneses.”
“And humiliate me in front of my friends?”
She closed the door. “Fine. You have your mom’s phone, right? Call me whenever you’re ready to come home.”
“Yeah. Whatever.” Chastity avoided meeting Rachel’s gaze.
Rachel wished she understood Chastity’s demeanor. It made her reluctant to let the girls out of the car. “Call anytime, whether it’s five minutes from now or later.”
“I said I would,” Chastity snapped and bailed from the vehicle before Rachel could say anything else.
Jessica looked uncomfortable. “Thanks for the ride, Miss Bishop.”
“You’re welcome. Have fun.” Rachel watched until both girls disappeared through the wide doors. She had a bad feeling about tonight that she couldn’t explain. She dismissed the sentiment as new-parent anxiety and drove off, glancing in the rearview mirror several times. Maybe Chastity knew that tonight was a farewell. Or maybe she was getting nervous about the move.
Yesterday Rachel had hung a countdown calendar on the refrigerator to help with the transition. Tuesday was the last day of school, and on Wednesday she and Chastity would move into Rachel’s apartment. They’d spend the next eight days exploring caregiver options for Rachel’s working hours, shopping for the things they needed for the house and packing up Rachel’s things. Then on the ninth day they’d close on the house. Three weeks later they’d return to Johnstonville, and while Chastity attended cheerleading camp, Rachel would oversee the moving process. That schedule was contingent on being able to convince Matt not to contest the move as he’d threatened.
Rachel worried all the way home, then she spotted Matt’s truck in front of the house, and her stomach took its usual dive. She’d managed to dodge him at career day and wasn’t yet ready to see him. The push-pull of wanting him and knowing she needed to make a clean break tugged her in opposite directions.
She climbed from the car and headed up the walk. He rose from the porch swing looking heart-stopping attractive in faded jeans and a pale blue polo that hinted at his muscular chest. “I’m taking you to dinner.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Matt.”
“C’mon, Rachel. I’ve been smoking the ribs all day. The salad’s made, and the potatoes are in the oven. It’s a beautiful evening to sit on the patio and enjoy the sunset.”
Alone? At his house? Could she trust herself?
Tucking her hair behind her ears, she debated the wisdom of confronting him tonight and telling him she and Chastity were moving in five days—with or without his approval. She might as well get the discussion behind her. And he’d already done a lot of prep work on the meal. “Okay.”
“Ride with me.”
“I promised Chastity I’d pick her up when she called.”
“The party doesn’t end until midnight. I’ll have you back long before then.”
Chastity hadn’t seemed in a party mood, and if Rachel couldn’t convince Matt the move was the best for everyone, it could be an uncomfortable ride home. “The girls might want to leave early. I’ll follow you.”
They returned to their vehicles. He drove the route she ran daily, and less than a mile from Hope’s house, he turned into the driveway of a two-story white brick New Orleans–style house she’d admired many times. She pulled in beside him.
Furniture groupings with thick cushions made both the first and second story porches inviting places to have coffee or read a book. A cluster of roses took up one corner of the immaculate green lawn, and a magnolia towered over the other. She inhaled the lemony scent of i
ts blossoms as she exited her car.
“This doesn’t look like a bachelor pad.” It was the residence of someone with deep roots and traditions in Johnstonville. A future mayoral candidate.
“You can thank my mom for that. She’s responsible for the flower beds. Gardening’s her hobby. And she seemed to think the porch furniture was necessary, but I can’t recall ever using it. The backyard’s my terrain. Come in.”
The beveled-glass-and-oak front door led into a center hall with wide-planked wood floors, a beautifully carved staircase and an eager, welcoming dog. Buddy’s tail dusted the floor at ninety beats a minute as Matt greeted him. Then the dog turned his attention to Rachel. She scratched behind his ears.
“Come on back.”
She followed Matt toward the back of the house. Through wide archways on either side she spotted a den with a masonry fireplace and a home office. The hall ended in a huge farmhouse kitchen that took up the entire rear of the structure. An abundance of cabinetry and a butcher-block work island with bar stools took up one end and a bright dining area with two walls of windows and a table for eight the other. The space would be ideal for big family dinners or entertaining. “Nice.”
“Thanks. The floors and cabinets are original. I refinished them myself.”
“You’ve invested a lot of time here.”
He shrugged as he grabbed the salad from the fridge. “I like houses with character, and the renovations gave me something to do in the evenings during off-season. After dinner I’ll give you the grand tour.”
She couldn’t trust herself anywhere near his bedroom. But she’d find a way to avoid that when the time came.
“Can I get you a beer, wine or tea?”
“Water?” She was nervous. There was a lot riding on their conversation tonight. She wouldn’t mind a drink to take the edge off, but she needed her wits about her. And she might have to pick up the girls.
He filled a couple of glasses. “If you’ll carry these, we’ll set up outside.”
He added a couple of ears of corn which he’d had soaking in the sink to a tray holding plates, utensils and a stack of napkins. He shouldered the door open and stepped down to a large brick patio with three different grills and a metal fire pit. The smell of smoking meat made her mouth water.
“I take it you like to cook?”
He followed her amused gaze. “Different tools for different jobs. Smoker, charcoal, gas,” he explained, pointing to each. Then his lips curved as he indicated the fire pit. “Marshmallows. I remember how much you like s’mores.”
That boyish grin reminded her of the campfires and sticky kisses they’d shared years ago. She picked up a tennis ball and threw it for the dog. Buddy sprinted after it.
“Now you’ve done it. He’ll wear out your arm,” he said as he lit the gas grill.
“Least I could do since you did all the cooking. I wish you hadn’t gone to so much trouble. What if I’d had other plans?”
“Pam said you didn’t.”
She should have been smart enough to realize his sister had an ulterior motive when she’d called and asked earlier if Rachel had anything planned for her kid-free evening, but Rachel had believed Pam when she said she was only making sure the girls had a ride home.
She watched him lift the lid on the smoker and transfer the ribs onto a deep baking dish. Next he retrieved the pot and painted sauce across the meat. “My secret recipe.”
“I’m impressed.”
He winked, and her hormones went ballistic. “Tell me that after you’ve tasted it.” He covered the pan with foil and set it in the center of the big wrought-iron table.
As predicted Buddy came racing back, panting happily. He dropped the ball at her feet, sat, wagged and waited. She hurled it again, and he was off.
Matt laid the corn on the gas grill. “You have to admit that after you’ve worked one of your long shifts, it’d be nice to come home to a cooked meal.”
And then it hit her. Matt had his own sales pitch planned for this evening. He intended to convince her to stay, utilizing his cooking skills, his well-trained dog and his beautiful home. But she could not afford to picture herself and Chastity living here, no matter how much she wished for this. She had her daughter—something she’d always dreamed of. And that would have to be enough.
“I usually go out with my shift workers. We eat and recap.”
“That’ll change now that you have Chastity.”
This was the opening she’d been waiting for, but she wouldn’t risk an argument before dinner when he’d worked so hard on it. Better to wait until after. Maybe then he’d be in a better frame of mind.
“What made you get into coaching?”
An arched eyebrow noted her change of subject. “I love the game, and I wasn’t ready to give it up.”
“So, what did you do during the years between your injury and coming back here?”
“Eighteen months of surgeries and rehab. During that time I picked the brains of the offensive, defensive and strength coaches for the team, learning everything I could about how a team was run. When the doctors finally forced me to accept I wasn’t going to play again, I went back to school and got a second degree in sports psychology. While there I lucked out and landed a job as a graduate assistant coach with my college’s team. When the position here opened, I returned.”
She doubted luck had anything to do with it. Matt’s drive and determination to succeed had always been impressive. And that he’d accomplished everything with a learning disability was even more remarkable. “What was your first degree?”
“Business administration. I thought I’d be handling an NFL salary. I should have had a backup plan.”
Feeling like a slacker letting him do all the work, she continued playing with Buddy until Matt said it was time to wash up and eat. She couldn’t remember a date ever cooking for her. For the next few minutes they applied themselves to their dinners. She ate despite her anxiety over the upcoming post-meal conversation—her job had taught her to eat and sleep when she had the time.
When they finally pushed the plates aside, she blotted her mouth, scraped up her courage and tried to organize her thoughts. “That was delicious.”
Matt leaned back in his chair. His serious expression made her stiffen. “There’s a position available at a level-one trauma center forty-five minutes from here. It’s a long commute, but you’d only be making it three times a week. They don’t have a flight crew position available now, but as you know, turnover’s high in your field. You’d have priority if an opening came up. I pulled a few strings and got you an interview next week.”
Taken aback, she stared at him. “You shouldn’t have done that, Matt. Chastity and I can’t stay in Johnstonville.”
His jaw went rigid. “I’m not letting you take her away from me, Rachel.”
“You heard her. She doesn’t want to stay here.”
“I’ll find out who’s teasing her and deal with it.”
She shook her head. “That would only make it worse, and it’s only part of our problem.”
“I gave you a solution to the rest. Marry me and we’re all family. No questions asked.”
Again, he didn’t mention love. What would she do if he did? And that’s when she realized that as much as she treasured her job and her team, she would trade it all to spend the rest of her life with Matt. But only if he loved her. And he didn’t. She was a means to an end. His proposal was merely a strategy to win the game. She opened her mouth to say as much but then decided against it. He’d probably say the words in order to achieve his goal, even if he didn’t mean them. Matt had that kind of never-accept-defeat determination.
“Nothing you can say or do will turn me into mayor’s wife material. You can’t change my past or the fact that your so-called friends are already using it to hurt
Chastity.” He looked ready to argue, so she rushed on. “You can visit her anytime you like, staying as long as you want. But we won’t stay here.”
“How often do you think I’d be able to come down—especially during the season? And what about the rest of my family? Chastity has grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins here.”
“We’ll try to get together for holidays, but—”
“Not good enough. You’re not taking my daughter, Rachel. I’ll get a lawyer and make damned sure of it.”
She battled to hide her fear. “Fourteen years ago your threat might have worked. But I’ve lost Chastity once. I will fight you with everything I have to keep that from happening again.”
Her phone vibrated in her back pocket. She whipped it out. Matt rewarded her with a scowl. Then she saw the incoming number. “It’s Chastity. Hello?”
“It’s Jess, Miss Rachel. I think you’d better come. Chastity’s...she’s not...she’s sick. I think.”
She shot a worried glance at Matt. “She’s sick how, Jess?”
“I—I don’t know. I can’t wake her up.”
Heart in her throat, Rachel sprang to her feet. “Stay on the phone. I’m on my way. Are you okay?”
“Yes. I’m f-fine.” But the words seemed hesitant.
Rachel raced toward her car with Matt right behind her. “Tell me what happened before Chastity got sick.”
“I don’t know. We got separated. Then I went looking for her, and I—” A sob cut off the word. “And she just wasn’t...right. She was weird and wobbly. Guys were taking pictures and stuff. And then she passed out.”
Dear God. A horrible list of possibilities streamed through Rachel’s head. “Has she been assaulted?”
Fury joined the concern on Matt’s face. He pointed at his truck. “You talk. I’ll drive.”
Rachel didn’t argue. She grabbed her purse from her car and jumped in Matt’s cab.