by Tina Beckett
He hadn’t wanted to do that, though. Neither had he seemed interested in salvaging what they’d had.
How much of that had been her doing? Probably a lot. And she owed him an apology.
Keeping her voice low, she said, “Luca, I’m sorry for the way things at the hospital unfolded. I know it wasn’t easy. For any of you.” She hesitated, but needed to get the rest of it out. “I didn’t put your name on that list. I had no idea who was on it until it was handed to me. But I should have found a way to warn you before I told everyone else. At the time, though, I was worried about that being seen as playing favorites.”
“Playing favorites. We were living together at the time, no?” His jaw tightened. “It doesn’t matter. It’s...how do you say it? Water under the bridge. It’s over.”
Yes, it was. And so were they. The anguish of that day still washed over her at times. Except now they had a baby. Someone who could make her smile, make her glad that that period of her life had happened, despite the way it had ended.
Needing to pull herself together, she took her phone out of her pocket and checked it for text messages. There were none. Peggy knew her well enough to call or text if anything happened, even if it wasn’t a big deal.
“Everything okay?” he murmured.
“Yes, just making sure Peggy wasn’t trying to get a hold of me for anything.”
“What time do you want to get home?”
The words confused her for a second, then she realized he was talking about his house, not her place back in Atlanta. “If the surgery won’t run too long, I’m fine staying until the end.”
They were still speaking in hushed tones, but Luca hadn’t tried to lean in close to her again, for which she was thankful.
Ears were now off-limits.
Although she wasn’t sure how she was going to break that to him if he decided to translate for her again, or if she even wanted him to.
Because she had a strange feeling that if he leaned in and started whispering again, she would sit there and pay rapt attention. Not to the words. But to the way he made her feel.
Not good, Elyse.
But how exactly was she going to stop her reaction? It was almost as elemental as the tingling in her breasts had been during that kiss.
The man coaxed feelings from her that she neither wanted nor needed.
No, scratch that. She didn’t need them, but she did want them.
Wanted them enough to kiss him, as she’d already proved.
So how was she going to fix that and prevent it from happening again?
Simple, she needed to avoid situations where her self-control was at risk.
Ha! You mean something like living under the same roof as the man? A stone’s throw from his bedroom?
She sighed. Yes. Exactly like that.
Only now that she’d gotten herself into that situation, she had no idea how to get herself back out of it.
CHAPTER SIX
ANNA CHORTLED WHEN Luca bit into his toast.
He cocked his head, trying to figure out what was so funny about it.
“She laughs at odd things. It’s like she’s trying to figure out her world.”
Elyse had evidently noted his confusion and tried to explain what was behind it.
Watching the baby on her lap, he forked up a bite of egg, giving an exaggerated “mmm...” of pleasure, and the laugh got louder, turned infectious enough that Elyse started giggling along with her.
“Who knew eating could be so amusing?”
“She’s only doing it to you.”
To prove her point, Elyse picked up her toast and bit off a piece of it, chewing with exaggerated movements of her jaw. Anna didn’t even spare her mom a glance. She just kept staring at Luca.
He tapped his finger on the very end of the baby’s nose. “Glad you find your...father...so funny.”
Why had he hesitated over saying that? Was it because he still didn’t quite believe a child so perfect and beautiful could possibly be his? Elyse had already offered to have a DNA test done but, like he’d told her, he didn’t need one. The baby was his. He felt it in his bones. There were things about her coloring, how different her hair was from her mother’s, that made him sure that Annalisa was from his family.
Except for the dimple in the baby’s cheek, which she definitely got from her mamma. Elyse had a dimple on the very same side of her face. He could remember touching it when she smiled, fascinated by the way it puckered inward. It was hellishly attractive. And when he saw Elyse in his dreams, she always had that secret dimple.
He dreamed about her.
He could finally admit it to himself, if not to her. But he hadn’t quite figured out how to deal with those dreams. And when he had been translating for Lorenzo a couple of days ago, it had come back to him that he’d muttered in her ear in one such dream, saying all the things he wanted to do to her. He’d woken up hard, needing her so badly. Only she hadn’t been there. It had all been in his head.
Well, not all of it. It had been elsewhere too.
When his body had begun to react to those memories as he’d translated for the surgeon, he’d decided he needed to stop it. He’d backed off, needing to get himself under control. He’d thanked his lucky stars when she’d told him she didn’t need him to translate for her anymore.
“I called my parents yesterday.”
She stopped playing with Anna’s fingers. “You did? What did they say?”
There was a nervousness to her voice that he didn’t like. “I didn’t exactly tell them. Not yet. I thought maybe it would be better just to let them see her and then explain it.”
“I don’t know... It was easier with my parents. Although they were upset that you’d left. I told them it was my fault, but they didn’t quite believe me, I don’t think.”
“I was hurt. And angry. And things hadn’t been going well between us for a while. I thought this was maybe your way of pushing me out of the picture.”
She frowned. “I would have told you, if that were the case.”
“So you think things were actually good?”
“I didn’t say that.”
He set down his fork. “You don’t have to. We were over before you ever read out that list of names, and you know it.”
“I guess we were.”
She didn’t look happy about that. Then again, she hadn’t looked happy at the time either. She’d just looked...guilty.
He’d caught that same expression on her face a couple of times since she’d arrived in Italy, but he wasn’t sure what that was about. At first he’d thought it was about her possible involvement in getting him fired. But she’d already made her big confession about that.
And yet even this morning she’d glanced at him and then looked away quickly.
Was she hiding something? Something other than her part in the layoffs?
He couldn’t imagine what it might be. Or how it would even have anything to do with him, at this point. If Anna was his, that was the only thing that was important.
“You’re okay with Mamma and Papà meeting her? And you, of course.”
“I guess so. It’s bound to be a shock, though. What if they hate me? I had convinced myself that because you didn’t want children, you wouldn’t want her either. I decided I’d come, do what I thought was right and then turn around and go home. I didn’t stop to think who else might be impacted by the delay.”
“I love her. How could I not? What I said back then about not wanting kids was...a moment of stupidity.” She wasn’t the only one who hadn’t stopped to think about the impact of his behavior—or his words. He could see why she’d been afraid to tell him about Anna. “I’ll just accentuate the positives when I tell them.”
Her brows went up, and she shifted Anna to the other side of her lap. “Which are?”
“The fact that they have a healthy, happy grandchild. And...” What were the positives other than that? It was hard to list them when she said it in that tone of voice. “And they will fall in love with Anna as soon as they meet her.”
“I hope so.” She took another bite of her toast, chewing for a long time.
She was worried. So was he, for that matter. But what he’d said was true. Once they got over their surprise, they would welcome both Elyse and Annalisa with open arms. His mom would probably even try her hand at matchmaking—which he needed to shoot down right away and firmly explain that he and Elyse were no longer together, neither would they change their minds.
Was he so sure about that? He’d been positive that Elyse would forever reject his requests for a date. Then one day—out of the blue—she’d taken his hand and asked him instead. But that didn’t mean she was suddenly going turn the tables and ask him to marry her.
If she’d accepted his proposal, would they be making an engagement announcement to his parents instead of just a birth announcement?
But she hadn’t. And they weren’t.
“It will be fine.” He wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince himself or her. “How is Peggy doing?”
Elyse smiled. “She’s doing great, from what her texts and social media accounts say. She is taking full advantage of her newfound freedom. She’s even been out on a date, which I did not approve of, by the way.”
“You don’t want her falling for an Italian?”
She laughed. “Since I fell for one once, that’s not the issue. It’s the fact that she’s not going to be here long enough to start up anything meaningful.”
“And encounters must always be meaningful?” He wondered if she would remember the first time they’d slept together. He had waited for that first date for so very long and when it had happened...it had been impulsive and wild, and she’d hooked him from the moment he’d caught his breath.
She looked away, those cheeks of hers turning a shade of pink that made his insides shift.
She did remember.
“At least we were living in the same country at the time,” she said.
“So you wouldn’t have given me the time of day if I’d been a tourist in your country?”
She wrinkled her nose at him. “Probably not. And since I was department head, I really shouldn’t have done so even then.” Her face went serious. “Those dynamics are never a good idea. I think we proved that.”
He touched Annalisa’s hand, the thought bothering him somehow. “And yet if we hadn’t gotten together, Annalisa wouldn’t exist. Wasn’t she worth it?”
Her teeth came down on her lip. There was a pause. One that was long enough to turn uncomfortable. Then she said huskily, “Yes. She was worth it. I’d do it all over again, even knowing what I know now.”
“So would I.”
She gave a sigh. “Hopefully your parents will feel the same way. That having a grandchild is okay even without having daughter-in-law attached. Someday, I’m sure you’ll meet a wonderful Italian girl and settle down. Maybe you’ll even change your mind about wanting kids sooner rather than later.”
“I think I already have. Quite some time ago, actually. Things just didn’t work out quite the way I thought they would.”
“You did? I—I didn’t realize.”
Why had she said it that way? Was she hoping he already had someone so that she was free to pursue whoever she wanted? Would she get married and allow his daughter to become someone else’s?
“I already have a child. Don’t ever forget that.”
She caught his hand. “I didn’t mean it like that, Luca. I just meant that Annalisa isn’t the only grandchild they’re likely to have. And you’re probably not going to be single the rest of your life.”
He didn’t see himself getting involved with anyone else for the foreseeable future, and he wasn’t sure why. He’d immersed himself in work for so long, he wasn’t sure he knew how to stop. At least he’d thought that until Elyse had come back into his life. And now suddenly he was rearranging everything in his life for her.
No, not everything. And it was for Anna, not for Elyse.
Only the hand holding his said that wasn’t entirely true.
“For now, I’ll leave it to my sisters to give them grandchildren. If they ever meet someone, that is.”
He hadn’t thought about what might happen if Elyse met someone else and they had a baby together. Would her husband or boyfriend insist she cut off contact with him? Deny him access to Anna?
That thought made him feel physically ill.
“I know we talked about it before, but I’d still like to draw up an agreement.”
As soon as he saw her face, he realized it was the wrong thing to say. She let go of him and drew Annalisa closer to her. “What kind of agreement?”
He could have said a custody agreement, but he knew that would be met with swift resistance. Besides, she’d come to Italy in good faith, trying to do the right thing. She’d said so herself. And if he thought about it, Elyse was not the type of person to let herself be railroaded into anything.
He chose his words carefully. “About visitation.”
The wariness didn’t fade from her eyes. If anything, it grew. “You think we need something formal in writing? I wasn’t planning on keeping her from you.”
His intent hadn’t been to make her angry, but something was going on with her that he really didn’t understand.
“You talked about me meeting someone else, and it made me think about the reverse. That you might meet someone who wouldn’t want me involved in your life or Annalisa’s.”
Her grip on the baby loosened. “Would you do that, if you had a child and started dating someone else: prevent the other parent from seeing him or her?”
“No. I wouldn’t.” There was no hesitation in his answer because it was the truth.
“Well, I wouldn’t let someone do that to you either, Luca. I would never keep her from you unless I thought it was for her own good.”
Her own good? How would that ever be the case?
It wouldn’t. So stop being so sensitive to every little thing.
That was going to be hard. Because, like it or not, Elyse was only here for a little while. A month was nothing, in the greater scheme of things. And where Elyse went, Annalisa went.
“When you say ‘for her own good’ I’m not sure what that means.”
She raised her brows and then grinned. “Well, let’s see... If you were in an Italian prison on a life sentence for murder, I might hesitate before bringing her to see you.”
He laughed. “Since I don’t see that happening, I would have to have been wrongly convicted.”
He’d been trying to lighten the mood, just like she had, but it must have fallen short because her smile faded. “What if you married someone who was unkind to Anna?”
Another hint that she had no intention of getting back together with him? It shouldn’t sting, but it did.
“I will make sure that never happens.” Not only because there were no current prospects but because he would never do anything to harm his daughter.
“How can you be so sure? Sometimes people aren’t exactly who they seem on the surface.”
He leaned closer, making sure she heard every word he said. “You seem determined to set me up with some unknown—but evidently unhinged—person. Why is that?”
“What? I’m not. I’m just setting up a hypothetical situation.”
“Let’s turn it around. What if you date a series of commitment-phobes and make Anna think relationships never last?” Lorenzo’s knowing smile popped into his head. That man wouldn’t know a serious relationship if it bit him on the ass. What if Elyse decided she liked that kind of man? After all, she seemed to have moved on with her life without a backward glance at him.
“I wouldn’t. I won’t. But I understand what you’re saying. Let’s just agree that we’ll both try to do whatever’s in her best interests.”
The tense muscles along his shoulders eased their grip. “Agreed. Speaking of things that are in Annalisa’s best interests, we’ve already talked about going to see my parents. Would you be okay with it being in the next couple of days? I know it’s short notice, but I’ve checked my work schedule, and I think I can spare three or four days to spend with them.”
“This soon?”
“Is that a problem?”
“No, I think I just expected us to have time to figure things out before jumping in at the deep end.”
“If we wait until we iron out every tiny detail, Anna will be eighteen.”
He’d decided that waiting for a break in his schedule wasn’t going to happen if he didn’t make it happen. This was the first step in doing that.
“You’re right, of course. Let me check with Peggy, so she doesn’t think I just abandoned her.”
He’d forgotten about her aunt. “Does she need you to stay close by?”
“Are you kidding? She’s pretty independent. I just meant that if she got into some kind of difficult situation, I’d want her to know how to reach me and that I’d be a few hours away. Oh! What should I take for a gift?”
“For my parents? No need to get them anything.”
Annalisa started to squirm, a cry rising from her tiny chest. “I want to take something. I know they’d get a gift for me, wouldn’t they?”
He held out his arms for the fussing baby. “Annalisa will be the only gift they need. They’ll be thrilled to meet her and spend some time with her.”
“I’m going to be stubborn on this one. Can you point me in the direction of a store that might have something they would like?”
He sighed. She wasn’t going to take no for an answer. “Here in Italy flowers and wine are traditional gifts for a hostess, although I hope you’ll think of my mother as more than just a hostess. She’s Annalisa’s grandmother.”
“I know that. Really, I do. Any particular type of flowers?”