by Amy Ruttan
And when Syman asked about him, if he did, then he would know that he was always welcome in Kalyana.
“Are you okay?”
Maazin turned around and took a step back when he saw Jeena in an emerald-green sari. It was the same color as the dress she had been wearing that first time he’d seen her. It took him right back to that moment.
And his breath was literally taken away.
“You look beautiful,” he murmured.
A flush of pink rose in her cheeks. “Thank you.”
“You ready?” he asked.
“Yes,” she said nervously. “I think I am.”
He smiled and took her hand. He climbed over the side first and down the ladder into the dinghy. She followed and he helped her, slipping his hands around her waist and guiding her safely down. It made his pulse quicken and the urge to kiss her, like he’d done last night, overtook him, but he held back.
He didn’t want to scare her off.
This time on the island was to give her another memory of her homeland. It was something for her to cherish before she left again, and he wanted her to have that untainted.
He didn’t want to make it any more awkward than it was between them. All he wanted at this moment was to give her a good memory. It was the least he could give her, especially when he’d missed so much.
He guided the little motored dinghy to the sandbar and cut the motor when he got close. He leaped over the side into the cool water and pulled the dinghy ashore.
Jeena stood up and without thinking he just lifted her up, gripping her waist and setting her down on the shore. She gasped when he set her down and he stared into her dark, warm eyes, lost for a moment.
“Maazin,” she whispered.
“Yes.”
“You can let go of me.”
“Right,” he said quickly. “Of course.”
She blushed and took his hands in hers. Her hands were so tiny, so soft. “Come on, let’s enjoy this moment of peace.”
“Good idea.”
Only she didn’t let go of his hand and he didn’t pull it away. He liked holding her hand as they walked barefoot on the sand. It was windy, but he didn’t care. It was beautiful out here. The ocean and whitecaps. The sun reflecting against the water and causing it to sparkle. The sand seemed to shimmer like diamonds. They walked over to the lone piece of driftwood that Maazin had hauled up out of the water ten years ago. It was a place to sit.
“I can’t believe that it’s still here,” Jeena said wistfully.
“Well, it was quite large, but I’m surprised it hasn’t rotted away to nothing.”
Jeena smiled and let go of his hand to run her hand along the rough wood. “I’m glad it’s still here. That night...”
“The night we conceived Syman.”
A blush tinged her cheek. “Yes.”
“That was a magical night for me too. I’m sorry that I missed his birth, I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for it all.”
She nodded and sat down on the log. “Me too.”
“Does he ask about me?” It was a question he’d been avoiding and he was afraid of asking it, but he had to know. It was eating him up not to ask.
“He does,” Jeena said quietly, looking at her hands.
“What have you told him about me?”
“I told him you lived in Kalyana and I told him that I had lost touch with you, but that if you knew about him, you would love him.”
Maazin nodded and sat down next to her. “That is true.”
He wanted to tell her that if he had known it would all have been different, but he wasn’t sure about that. He knew one thing—he was sad that this life with Jeena and his son had been taken from him. That he’d never got the chance to ask her to be his. He’d never seen his son as a baby. Never held him in his arms. He’d missed so much.
And you are responsible for taking Ali’s life.
That thought grounded him. He didn’t deserve it. Ali had never got a chance and he didn’t deserve it either. It was fitting justice for his sins.
“Tell me about his birth. Tell me about Syman’s birth.”
Jeena looked at him like he was crazy. “What?”
“Tell me. When was he born?”
“June twenty-sixth. It was a Friday and he was born in the morning. He came out screaming and had all this dark hair, even on his bottom.” She chuckled about that. “I thought he was going to be made fun of for being so hairy, but it was just lanugo and it fell out as he got older. Then he was this chubby, happy baby who slept all night in a bassinet by my bedside. Everyone who saw him loved him.”
It cut him to the quick to hear about this. He’d been denied that precious time. He hadn’t had a chance to hold him in his arms, to kiss his head and sing him to sleep.
“It must’ve been hard on you, getting a medical degree and having an infant.”
“It was. My mother and father were my lifeline. If I didn’t have them, I wouldn’t be a doctor. They knew how much I wanted to be a doctor when we still lived in Kalyana and before I met you they were saving up all they could to send me to England or Australia to get my education, but then I attended that polo match and met you.”
Maazin touched her face. “I’m sorry that I ruined your life.”
Jeena touched his hand, still cupping her face. “You didn’t ruin my life, Maazin. You gave me this great gift. Syman is a wonderful boy and my life in Canada is good. Do I wish that things could have been different and that I’d chosen my life in Canada myself, instead of it being thrust on me, yes, but my parents are better off there than they were here. We have a good life. Don’t feel bad.”
“You are too kind. Kinder than I deserve.”
“What’re you talking about?”
Maazin sighed. “I am the one who killed Ali.”
Her eyes widened. “What’re you talking about?”
“I’m telling you the truth. I am the one who killed Ali. It was my fault.”
* * *
It took Jeena a moment to let the words sink in. What did Maazin mean that he was the one responsible for killing Ali?
“I thought it was a car accident?” she asked.
Maazin stood and was pacing on the sand, rubbing the back of his neck. “It was.”
“Were you driving?” she asked.
“No.”
“Then I don’t quite understand how you’re responsible for your brother’s death.”
“I was drunk. I had gone to a party that I shouldn’t have been at. There was drinking and some drugs. I didn’t do the drugs, but I was very drunk and I couldn’t call security to come and get me. I was already splashed across the tabloids and when I called the palace, drunk again, Ali took it upon himself to come and get me. His wife came with him.” Maazin closed his eyes and she could tell that it was hard for him to continue.
“Go on,” Jeena urged gently. “What happened?”
“Ali came, of course. He was such a good brother.” Maazin took a deep breath. “He came and got me. Both of them scolded me, of course, for being blind drunk and at a party I should not have gone to. Not that I did anything, I just got drunk with my friends. The house was up in the hills and while we were driving home a rainstorm hit. It rained very hard, or so they tell me, I don’t remember. What I remember is Ali yelling at me, telling me that I had to pull up my socks and behave better.
“Then there was this loud bang and screaming and we were upside down, before it went black. I woke up in agony because my shoulder was dislocated and I was under the wrecked car. Ali and Chandni were dead.”
Jeena gasped and she could see the pain in Maazin’s eyes as he poured out his story to her. It was obvious that it weighed heavily on him and that it had been traumatic.
“Maazin, you were not responsible for your brother’s death.”
“Of course I was!” he snapped. “If he hadn’t been such a good brother he would’ve sent someone to come and get me. But he didn’t. He came himself because I begged him not to tell Father. I was terrified or... I really don’t know. I don’t remember much about the phone call. Only that I wanted Ali to come and get me. And if I hadn’t been so insistent and he hadn’t been such a good brother he would still be alive. And so would Chandni.
“It wasn’t just his life I ruined. I ruined my parents’ lives. Ali was my father’s favorite. And then I ruined my late sister-in-law’s parents’ lives. They lost their daughter. And then Farhan was made Crown Prince. He had to come back from Australia and give up his life there...”
Jeena stood and walked over to him, and reached up and touched his face. “It’s not your fault. Ali loved you, but it’s not your fault that he and his wife chose to come get you that night. You are not to be blamed.”
“Lady Meleena blames me for the end of our farce of an engagement.”
Jeena’s heart skipped a beat. “Oh?”
It shouldn’t matter to her that his engagement was over. She shouldn’t care, but she did.
“When Ali died I devoted my life to saving others and my duties. They took all my attention.”
“Is that why the engagement went on for so long?”
He nodded. “Partly, but mostly I didn’t care about her. There was only one person I cared about.”
“I cared about you too,” she said softly. She truly had never stopped caring about him.
There had been no one else.
Don’t fall for him again. Don’t do it.
He took a step closer to her. Those gray-green eyes twinkled as he caressed her face. Her body trembled like a traitor to her own mind under his touch.
And before she knew what was happening he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her, just like before, and she was lost to him. Her body wanted more.
She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about that kiss that had snuck up on them in the office on Petrie. She wanted to forget that kiss because she was leaving and nothing could happen between them, even if that pull of attraction and feelings was still there.
It was off limits.
She couldn’t give everything up for a chance with him. She didn’t come from his world any more. She didn’t want that kind of spotlight on her or Syman.
And as much as she wanted this kiss to continue, she knew that it couldn’t. She couldn’t let it continue so she pushed on his chest to move him away from her.
“We can’t,” she whispered, trying to calm the erratic beat of her pulse and quell the fire that was in her blood. “We can’t.”
“Why not?” he whispered, leaning his forehead down to hers. Their foreheads were pressed together, their arms around each other.
“You need someone to be your wife and I am not that woman. I can never be that woman.”
Maazin nodded. “I understand. I’m sorry for kissing you. It’s just that around you, I lose myself. It feels like all those years ago.”
“I know, but it’s not.” She tried not to let the tears stinging her eyes spill down her cheeks. She wanted to tell him that she wanted to be his and that she’d never got over him, but that was selfish. Syman had a life in Canada. He had friends and loved his school, his hockey and his home.
Her parents had given up so much so that they could go with her and help her. Now they were prosperous and she couldn’t ask them to give it all up to chase a whim.
Her mother had tried to warn her all those years ago that getting involved with Maazin was a bad idea, but she had been young and foolish then...
“You shouldn’t get involved with the Prince,” her mother said quietly. “Nothing good can come from that.”
“What do you mean? He loves me. I know he does.”
Her mother took her hands. “I have no doubt. Who could not love you? You are beautiful. But you are just a farmer’s daughter and he is a prince.”
“But Kalyana is a free country and he’s the third son.”
“Jeena, please be careful. I don’t want you to get hurt...”
She should’ve listened to her mother back then. If she had she wouldn’t have fallen in love with a man who was off limits. A man who had ruined her for all others. But she had been young and so foolish.
She wasn’t going to make that mistake again. When she’d been sent to Kalyana, she’d promised herself that she wouldn’t let herself be sucked in again.
She had to remind herself of that.
“We should go,” she said, stepping away from him. It was safer to put some distance between the two of them.
Maazin nodded.
Jeena turned and walked back to the dinghy. There was a cool wind and it caused a shiver to run through her. The sun disappeared behind a cloud and suddenly things didn’t seem so rosy and lovely on Patang Island.
It had lost its sparkle and magic.
It just reminded her of a life with a person she loved that she could never have. The best thing she could do now was walk away and try to just forget about Kalyana and Maazin’s kisses, even if she knew that was going to be a hard, hard thing to do.
An impossible thing to do, but it was for the best.
CHAPTER EIGHT
THE MOMENT THAT Maazin docked in the harbor, there were several limousines waiting, as well as his brother’s personnel. He had a bad feeling about what he was seeing.
He glanced over at Jeena, who had changed back into her medical uniform. She bit her lip, worrying about it, and he could see the fear in her eyes.
“Don’t worry,” he said. “They’re here for me.”
“Don’t be so sure. We did take a detour and I am not Lady Meleena. Remember the world thinks you’re still engaged to her.”
“That I am aware of,” he said quickly. “No one else knows about you, Jeena, and no one else knows about my broken engagement. You are a doctor, a Canadian doctor. It’s all proper.”
“If you say so.” She didn’t sound too convinced. She tried to walk past him, but he held her back.
“I won’t let anyone hurt you,” he said, and he meant it.
“Thanks,” she whispered.
The moment Maazin’s yacht was tied up and he helped Jeena down onto the pier, Farhan, flanked by two bodyguards, came quickly toward them. He was frowning and there were dark circles under his eyes.
A shiver ran down his spine.
Oh, God.
“Farhan?” Maazin asked, barely getting the words out.
“Maazin, it’s Father. He took a spell this morning and we’ve been waiting for your return.” Farhan glanced over at Jeena. “Are you Dr. Harrak?”
“Yes,” she said nervously.
“Oh, good. We were looking for you. Your team said that you were able to perform a catheterization under less than ideal circumstances and that you were the best.”
“I... I am, but...” Jeena was stumbling over her words and Maazin knew it was because of who his father was. His father was the King. She was terrified of operating on the King.
He knew what she was thinking. She thought she already had a bad reputation with the Kalyanese people.
“Jeena, nothing bad will happen to you at the palace, not while you are under my care.”
Jeena looked at him and nodded. “Of course. Of course I can help His Majesty.”
Farhan cocked an eyebrow. He was confused, but he wasn’t about to argue about reasons now out on the public pier at the harbor. “Well, the royal motorcade will take you both to the palace.”
Maazin put his hand on the small of Jeena’s back and urged her to take a step forward. A bodyguard stepped forward and took her duffel bag from her.
Another took her surgical kit. Maazin stuck by her side as they were ushered into a limo where Farhan was already seated. Jeena chew
ed on her lip again and began to wring her hands.
Maazin wanted to reach out and comfort her, but Farhan was watching her with interest.
“Dr. Harrak, are you quite all right?” Farhan asked.
“Fine. It’s just, I’ve never operated on royalty before. Never done a cardiac cath procedure on a king!”
Farhan smiled. “It’ll be okay, I assure you. We have everything you need. I would do it myself, but I can’t, as you know, being his son. So even Sara is unable to operate. It’s driving her a bit mad, because she wants to help.”
Jeena chuckled, but Maazin could still hear the nervousness in her voice.
“It’ll be quite all right. You are a capable surgeon. You did an appendectomy in a courthouse and Mr. Patel is going to make a full recovery because of it, and you taught a first responder the ins and outs of being a scrub nurse. You are capable of this. Do not think about who he is, just think of him as any other patient.”
* * *
Maazin’s words were meant to calm her.
“Think of him as any other patient.”
Which was easier said than done, but she was going to try. She had to try. They approached the palace and passed through Huban’s gate and up to the palace. It sat on top of a hill and reflected the rich history of Kalyana’s Eastern influence. It was like a fortress, but surrounded with lush, green vegetation. Or at least it had been, but when cyclone Blandine had blown through, the leaves had been stripped away and trees toppled. As they came closer to the palace she could see gardeners trying to clean up the mess that Blandine had left in her wake. The drive was littered with brightly colored petals that had been trampled down and crushed into the road.
It was sad.
The palace with its warm-hued stone walls and arched windows had been the center of Huban. It had been the heart of Kalyana and now it looked the worse for wear. As if Kalyana’s heart had been broken.
At least her spirit hadn’t been broken. Of that Jeena was sure.
The limo pulled up in front of two, large ornately carved doors that were immediately opened. Farhan slid out and Maazin followed, but Jeena felt frozen.