He went to the checkout with his shopping cart as quickly but calmly as he could. He started adding his items to the conveyor belt and tossed in some candy bars, packs of gum and two cold sodas.
The young girl (thankfully just a living girl) began swiping his purchases with bored eyes until he came closer. She stopped what she was doing. "Um, dude, you got something on your shirt."
"Huh?"
"Your shirt. Is that… blood?" she asked.
Benjamin didn't want to kill a living person, because that would be so wrong. He was only interested in being a zombie killer, and ridding the world of those infected before they took over.
He looked down and laughed. "I was going to tell you, I broke a hot sauce in an aisle. Sorry." He dipped his fingers in the blood on his shirt and licked them, savoring the taste of the blood. "Wow, hot."
She was still staring at him.
"Look, I'll pay for it. Is that what you want? I need to get home. My family is waiting for me to cook dinner."
When she put her hand on the phone, still staring at him, he pulled his wallet and dropped a twenty dollar bill in front of her. She stopped and stared blankly at it.
"That should cover the hot sauce and your troubles. Do you understand me?"
"I could lose my job."
He dropped another twenty. Money didn't matter to him anymore. "Keep the change."
After another moment she pocketed the bills and went back to swiping his items.
"Lucy, I'm home," Benjamin said in his best Ricky Ricardo voice. "Kids, come help your daddy put away these groceries."
He stripped down to his undershirt, went into the bedroom and changed from pants into his khaki shorts and flip flops. Now he looked like he was on vacation.
He put everything away himself, but kept the items out for dinner, and began preparing the meat with the spices, getting his fingers bloody as he rubbed so many different kinds that he lost count. After the first batch he decided to dump all of the spices from the tiny jars into a large mixing bowl.
"I hope you're hungry, because I'm making enough to feed an army." He let the meat marinate on a cookie sheet he found in the cabinet and went down to his car to bring the boxes in.
At the desk he remembered the woman. "I could use one of those grills now."
She smiled and handed him a red cone. "Just clip this to the side of a grill so everyone knows it's in use."
He thanked her. "Do you happen to have one of those luggage racks on wheels? I have some boxes in the car."
"Of course. Do you need help with them?"
"No, I can manage."
When he went outside under the glare of the sun he thought he'd melt. The smell from the trunk was strong but he ignored it and filled the luggage rack with his boxes. The trip back upstairs was uneventful. When he got back inside the condo the smell of the meat and spices made his mouth water.
He brought the boxes into the bathroom and dumped the contents into the tub. He'd forgotten ice. Benjamin went back to the kitchen and found a small ice bucket but knew he'd have to fill it a hundred times before he had enough.
"This is taking too long. Too much work," he thought. As he emptied the ice trays in the freezer into the tub he sighed. He was getting hungry and was sure his wife and kids were, too.
Back in the kitchen he thought the meat was ready to grill. He gathered everything together and decided to use the luggage rack to bring everything down to the pool area.
Benjamin stared at the Real Book of Revelations and wanted to dive into it, but decided to eat first. He'd take it with a glass of wine out to the balcony tonight and read.
Finally downstairs, he placed six large steaks onto the grill once it was hot. "That's sure some giant steaks ya got there, buddy," a man with severe sunburn said to him as he passed.
"Need to feed two growing kids." Benjamin flipped the meat over and took a big whiff of them. "I got plenty if you'd like one."
"Nah, I was just commenting."
Benjamin shrugged. "I have another six or seven upstairs. I was going to just keep grilling until I ran out of meat."
The man's wife pulled herself from the pool and Benjamin did a double-take. Her hair was wrapped in a hairnet but he could see where it would soon fall out as she turned into the undead. He wanted to shove her face on the grill but there were dozens of people and kids out here, splashing and carrying on. Instead he ignored her when she looked his way and went back to grilling.
"This gentleman offered us some of his steaks, honey," the man said.
"Really? How generous."
Benjamin didn't look up for fear he'd try to end her life. "The offer still stands."
"I think we might take you up on one of those. We were just going to get dried off and pull the kids from the pool and get some fast food."
Benjamin looked at the water. "How many kids?"
"Three. Those boys there."
"Excellent. Steaks for everyone tonight."
"Mister, we can't ask you to do this."
Benjamin looked at him (and not at her with her rotting face) and smiled. "You didn't ask. I offered."
"I'm going up to get changed," his wife said.
As she walked away, Benjamin flipped the meat. He watched as she dripped water from her bathing suit, but it would be blood soon if she wasn't taken care of. He handed the spatula to her husband. "Do us a favor and flip these in a few. I need to get more meat and the veggies." Before the man could respond Benjamin was running back to the condo doors, catching up to the woman.
They got into the elevator together and she smiled at him, her eye sockets filled with maggots. "That's awful nice of you to share your food with us."
"Not a problem," he said and looked away before he vomited. "What floor?"
"Seven."
"Lucky seven, same as me. We might be next-door neighbors."
She laughed as the elevator stopped and she got off, turning away from him. He glanced around. They were alone. He ran up behind her and punched her as hard as he could in the back of the head. As she hit the ground he fell upon her, cuffing her mouth and twisting her neck with all his might until he felt her sag in his hands.
Benjamin dragged-pulled her down the hall and into his condo. When he got inside, he hefted her bulk into the bathroom and dropped her into the tub with the rest of the meat. He stripped her, repulsed at her graying nakedness, dead skin and her writhing intestines leaking from a hole in her stomach.
She did look peaceful now and he was sure if she could speak, she'd thank him. He took the carving knife he'd left on the sink and began severing her head.
Slabs of her rump were quickly carved out and he added them to the pile of marinating meat on the counter, getting them wet and then dumping them in the spices. They would need to sit for a while.
He took the bags of vegetables and one of his other knives back downstairs, along with the beer. On his fifth trip back to his condo, Benjamin pulled out the big guns: the Jack Daniels bottles and another pile of meat. The neighbors sat in lounge chairs, poolside, and feasted on the grilled meat and vegetables Benjamin selflessly shared.
Someone passed him a Jack and Coke and he savored the flavor, which he hadn't had in far too long.
When the guy asked about his wife, Benjamin shrugged and told him she headed to their condo. Benjamin smiled, put his arm around him, and handed him another slice of thin steak and some grilled zucchini.
"Hey, buddy, wanna help me real quick?" Benjamin asked one of the kids hanging around eating. He pointed at one of his friends. "If you and him come up stairs and help me bring down the rest of the food I'll give you twenty bucks. But keep it between us, because I don't want everyone helping."
The two met him in the elevator and by the time they got to the seventh floor, he'd already broken both their little zombie necks and tossed them over his shoulders like sacks of flour. They went into the bathtub with the rest of the meat.
He made another quick run for ice at the end of the h
all and added it to the tub, the melting ice and water pink with blood.
"Honey, you might have to clean this tub out before we go to bed. The kids will need showers before we head to the racetrack in the morning." She didn't answer him.
Back downstairs with the last of the vegetables and another four chunks of meat, he feigned ignorance when someone asked if he'd seen their kid.
Somewhere around eleven the grill finally died out and most adults were feeling good with all the alcohol gone, everyone well-fed, and the kids gone to their rooms for bed. Most of them.
Benjamin cleaned up and thanked the few stragglers left for enjoying a meal with him. "You'll be safe now for what's coming," he said but no one really questioned it.
As he went to exit his floor, an older woman, resplendent in a black dress and jewelry, stood patiently to enter. He smiled at her and as he stepped past her, he grabbed her rotten left arm and smashed her into the wall. Before she could react, his hands were around her face, careful not to be bitten by the diseased teeth, and he smashed her head into the closing elevator doors.
He was running out of room again in the tub, and without enough ice it was going to smell soon. Benjamin cranked up the air conditioning as far as it would go.
Even though he wasn't that hungry he took the cheese and cracker platter from the counter (his wife and kids hadn't touched it) and went out to the balcony with the Real Book of Revelations.
The night was gorgeous, a cool breeze coming off the ocean before him. This is how it was supposed to be, relaxing and peaceful. He opened the book and slid a cracker into his mouth.
As he began reading, a warm wind caught the book and swept it from his hands, but the book didn't fall. Instead, it hovered just above the rail and began to glow.
Benjamin stood as the book exploded in a brilliant rainbow of colors before him, and he put his hands in front of his face until the glow slowly receded.
In its place was a bright white figure, with outstretched hands and wings.
"The Almighty," Benjamin said and dropped to a knee in deference, bowing his head. At last!
Rise, my child. Rise and behold The Almighty.
Benjamin stood, tears of joy rolling down his cheeks. "What do you need of me?"
You already know. The apocalypse is quickly approaching. You need to double your efforts for the sake of your fellow man, to save humanity. Go now, with your family, and continue the battle as you've done today. So many people were saved because of your selfless efforts, fed the Holy Offering to cleanse their soul of the disease.
"Where do I go?"
You already know in your heart. You've always known what to do. And you've done well since leaving your home in Ohio.
"What about my family?" Benjamin said and glanced back into the dark living room. "They ignore me."
Your mission is to save them like the others. Are you doing this for praise and gratitude? Or are you doing this for love?
Benjamin nodded and began crying again. Of course, it was all so simple. He knew he'd never be praised for his actions, but that was never the point. The only thing that mattered was saving as many good people as he could before the End Times had a firm grasp of humanity.
Within twenty minutes everything important was loaded into the car (with no help from his family, but he tried to be positive and remember the words of The Almighty) and he was driving south down Route 1.
His family was packed into the backseat but when he glanced at them in the rearview mirror and smiled, they acted like he wasn't there. "You'll see, and then you'll thank me for my actions."
At a red light he stopped and made sure the Desert Eagle was just under his seat. As the light turned green and he started to drive, he heard sirens somewhere up ahead.
Benjamin suddenly hit the brakes in the middle of the road when he realized he'd packed everything he needed except for the Real Book of Revelations. He'd left it on the balcony when The Almighty had been done speaking with him.
Three police cars, lights and sirens on, shot past him. He knew he had to keep moving and head south. He didn't need the book right now, but that would be the last thing he'd do to fail part of his mission.
The convenience store was empty when he entered after using his credit card to buy gas at the pump. He grabbed a hand basket and began filling it with snacks. Once the kids woke from their sleep they'd be hungry and he'd left most of the food behind in the condo, only taking his clothes and the gun.
As he approached the counter, the clerk came out from the office, her face black and blue from where she'd been bitten and infected, her blood dripping on the floor. "Be right with you, sir," she said through a ruined mouth.
Two young men came in wearing baggy clothes and baseball caps on cocked to the side, their underwear clearly visible. Benjamin was actually glad to see both of them about to turn because he hated punks like this, with their hippy-hoppy look (or whatever it was called) and would enjoy this.
Benjamin put the items on the counter and she slid each item slowly over the scanner. He watched the two boys as they went to the drink cooler and selected a soda each.
"Twelve-fifty," she said. He ignored her and slowly added some candy bars. With a disgusted look she kept ringing and he kept adding, now moving down the front of the counter and picking packs of gum.
The two punks came up to the counter and stood back, waiting for him to return with the rest of his items. Benjamin wasn't sure if the undead girl said something but he didn't care.
As he walked back, both young men smiled at him. He moved past them, careful not to brush into them and get infected. As he dropped his gum on the counter he pulled his shirt up and pulled the Desert Eagle.
Someone yelled 'gun!' but it was too late by then. He shot the first kid in the forehead. As his friend turned to run he was shot, the back of his head exploding and such a large chunk flying that it actually swung open the door as it hit and put a hole in the glass.
The girl behind the counter was pleading for her life, but what life did she really have at this point? She didn't know it but he was doing her such a favor. He shot her twice in the face as she curled up and tried to blend in with the dirty floor.
Then he calmly took his bags and left. Everyone was sleeping in the backseat as he started the engine and pulled away.
The Almighty was with him in the car, sitting and glowing in the passenger seat.
"Like the old country song, Jesus, Be My Co-Pilot, or something like that? Haha," Benjamin said, smiling and driving.
No. You've done well tonight but the flow of undead blood has not been staunched. They are all around us, threatening to burst forth.
" What do I do?" he asked and gripped the wheel white-knuckled. "I want to win for God and Jesus."
Jesus is coming back unless you pick up the pace.
"He's coming back? That is good!" Benjamin yelled and looked back to make sure everyone was still sleeping in the backseat. "Right?"
If you hadn't lost the Real Book of Revelations you'd know that is a bad thing. Our former savior, Jesus Christ, is no longer effective in this battle. You have taken his place.
"Seriously? That's nuts."
Is it? You see what you've accomplished in the last few days, but we need more, before He is birthed.
"You lost me," Benjamin admitted.
The Almighty seemed to waver in the seat and Benjamin prayed he hadn't screwed up.
Tonight the Anti-Christ will enter the world through the desiccated stink-hole of a whore of Babylon, eating his way out through the putrid flesh of her sickened womb, slopping the blood and pus from between her filthy whore thighs, where she first consummated her sex with the Devil.
"Damn. I need to stop him, right?"
You know what you need to do.
"Where?"
You know.
Benjamin was about to argue when he saw the signs for the hospital. The Almighty had guided him here, to mete out justice for God and stop the zombie invasion.
"Stay here, kids," he yelled behind him as he pulled the Desert Eagle from his side and surveyed the area.
The woman behind the information desk was not yet turned so he ignored her, but two old men in wheelchairs sitting and watching TV were shot in their heads before they rose like demons and attacked.
He walked calmly down the hallway, glanced at the information board, and saw where he needed to go.
A midget, wearing scrubs and carrying a clipboard, walked out of a side room.
Benjamin stared at him before aiming low and taking the top of his head off with a shot. Even though he didn't look like a zombie, little people still freaked him out.
His final bullet went into the doctor, standing beside the slut. When he tried to kill the nurse on the other side the gun clicked empty. No matter. Benjamin walked calmly around and smashed her in the face where she stood, stunned. He beat her three more times until he was covered in her blood.
"Hello, Whore of Babylon," Benjamin said to the woman, feet in stirrup and a ball of sweat. "Thought you could go against The Almighty?"
"I don't understand… I'm having a baby…" She screamed as a contraction hit her.
"I've fed myself and my family and those not exposed the vile flesh of the undead so we all become immune to the curse. But you…" Benjamin pointed an accusing finger at the woman and tsked. "You fucked Satan and let him shoot his diseased semen into your filthy sex-box. How dare you go against all that is Holy!"
The woman screamed but Benjamin couldn't tell if it was from the evil baby or in fear that she'd been caught.
He stared at the bulge between her succubus legs and licked his lips.
"I will live forever after this feast," he said, closed his eyes, and buried his face in her crotch, leading with his teeth.
Detective Hall leaned over the balcony and vomited for the third time.
Most of the officers and paramedics in the condominium had taken turns and he felt sorry for whoever was below or had to clean that mess up.
Masters of Taboo Presents: Cannibalism, Digesting The Human Condition (Limited Edition) Page 18