by K. Webster
His arms fall to his sides and his brows furrow. “What?”
Heat floods up my neck to my cheeks. I was not just checking out the abs of my new nemesis. That’s not fucking weird or anything.
“Sorry, rat, but there’s only room in the shower for one.” I laugh cruelly at him in an effort to chase away the awkward feeling settling in my bones.
“And your ability to be a bigger asshole with each passing second knows no bounds,” he grinds out as he storms down the hall and into Ms. Frazier’s office.
I stop him before he can close the door. “You’re just sad you won’t ever get a piece of this asshole.” I’m not one hundred percent sure he’s gay, but I have my suspicions.
He looks over his shoulder at me, affixing a smug grin I haven’t seen before on his face. In an agonizingly slow way, he makes a blatant show of skimming his gaze down my body and then back up again. He bites on his lip, not unlike how Sidney always does, and his eyes flash with heat. My dick fucking responds much to my horror.
“You wouldn’t be able to handle me anyway,” he says with such sure confidence, I’m left speechless.
The door slams shut, making me jump.
This rich prick has no idea who I am. He’s the one who wouldn’t be able to handle me. I’d dominate him in the bedroom. Make him quiver and cry. I’d make him beg for every single touch. I realize my dick is achingly hard and that I’ve been fantasizing about a roll in the sheets with fucking Hollis the rat.
What the fuck?
I’ve never even been with a guy, and if I ever entertained the idea, it sure as hell wouldn’t be with some prissy bitch like Hollis.
I’m sure of it.
It’s my dick that’s a little confused on the matter.
And unfortunately, I’ll have to tame the fucker in the shower. I just hope to hell I don’t beat off to the memory of Hollis’s parted lips. The image of them—plump, pink, and parted—briefly flashes in my head. My cock jolts in appreciation.
I am so fucking screwed.
Hollis
Mom looks tired. Guilt coils itself in the pit of my stomach. She didn’t have to work back home. Life was easier for her. Now it’s too hard. We’ve barely gotten here and it’s too damn hard.
Aunt Karen busies the girls—including Roux—with setting the table. I stay out of her way and opt for tossing the salad while I clear my head. Mom sits at the table, watching the girls with a smile on her lips that doesn’t quite reach her eyes.
I turn away, unable to witness her unhappiness any longer. I’m singularly focused on the salad when my body seems to come alive. I don’t have to look up to know it’s Roan. I can feel him and I don’t understand what to make of that. When I’d dated Lucas, one of my teammates back home, it’d been fun and flirty and hot. He was my first and only, sexually, and I really liked him, but he wasn’t the committed type. Since he was bi, and mostly swung toward females, it wasn’t something he wanted out there for the public knowing. Our entire relationship was a secret until he ended it not long before I came out as gay.
Seeing the picture of Lucas earlier in the attic hit me right in the stomach. I hate that I miss him, but I do. I’d give anything to see him right now, even knowing we’d never be lovers again. Today, more than ever, I crave the normalcy of my old life.
Aunt Karen introduces Roan to Mom, and no matter how much I try to ignore him, my eyes eventually creep his way. He looks too good dressed once again in his sweats and hoodie. For the girls, he smiles and it’s real. I don’t understand why he’s such a prick to me and nice to all of them. He sits down beside Roux and playfully pokes at her. It amazes me that Roan is more comfortable at my family’s dining room table than I am. It’s as though he fits in better than I do.
Shame floods through me. Had I just stuck to the mold, Mom and Dad might still be together. The girls wouldn’t have been uprooted. Aunt Karen wouldn’t have had her house taken over by four extra people.
“Everything okay, honey?” Mom asks, her palm at my back.
I jolt at her sudden nearness. “Yeah.”
“You look a little pale. Is your stomach acting up again?” Her concern for me makes my stomach roil violently.
“I’m fine,” I lie. “How was work?”
It’s her turn to look ill. “Great.”
Yeah right.
“It’s fine,” she assures me with a smile, her arm coming around me for a motherly hug. “I don’t like my boss, but it was the first day and we were busy. I’m sure it’ll get better.”
I lean my head against hers and enjoy the moment with my mother. Life is so messed up right now, but this feels right.
“Your dad texted,” she says with a sigh, her voice low so the kids won’t hear.
“And what did he have to say?”
“Wants to see the girls.”
The girls. Not me.
“Oh,” I mutter.
“He wants to see you too, I’m certain of it,” she assures me, “but he’s horrible at expressing himself.”
I tug away from her and frown. “I don’t want to see him anyway, so it doesn’t matter.”
We finished out the semester and then moved to Aunt Karen’s over Christmas break. I’d wondered how he’d managed the past three weeks without having anyone to bitch at. Must have been a boring holiday for him.
“The divorce isn’t final,” she reminds me. “So if he wants to see them, I have to let him. He’s not fighting for custody, and I don’t want to poke the bear. I already told him he’ll have to make the effort to come out here, though. The girls can’t miss any school.”
“Just let me know when he shows up so I can make myself scarce.”
She presses her lips together but rather than defend him or argue, she simply nods. “I love you, kiddo. No matter what. I’d do anything for you.”
I hate that she’s already had to.
She left her husband, uprooted her children, and moved across the country for us—for me. The gnawing, burning pain in my gut flares up. Where I was hungry moments ago, now I can barely handle the smell of the food without feeling nauseous.
Mom, always able to sense when I’m not quite right even though I dazzle her with bright smiles, cradles my cheeks with her hands. “We’re going to get through this, honey.”
“I know, Mom.”
I feel eyes on me and dart my attention to Roan, who watches me with cool indifference. Mom notices him looking our way and gives me a silly smile.
“Friend or…” she whispers.
“Neither,” I grumble. “But our sisters get along, so there’s that.”
Her eyes twinkle knowingly. “Give it time.”
There’s not enough time in the world to ever make me grow to willingly like Roan, much less want to date him.
“I met two people today. Gio and Sidney. Both really nice.” I flash her my big, fake grin. “You’d really like both of them.”
Two friends. I made two friends.
My smile falters.
“It’s only been a day,” she says. “You’ll be the boy everyone loves in no time. How could they not?”
I hug her to me again, inhaling her familiar motherly scent. I’m taller than her and bigger, but she’ll always be my mom. Someone who I want to lean on when shit gets tough. She can’t do much about anything, but she just has an inner strength I can tap into.
“Lasagna’s ready,” Aunt Karen chirps, ending our heartfelt moment. “Let’s eat.”
It really bothers me that Roan is more comfortable in my aunt’s kitchen than I am. We never visited her in Hood River. She always came to us. So even though we’ve been here a few weeks, it doesn’t feel like home.
Roan, however, acts like he lives here.
Mom, Aunt Karen, and the girls have all retired to the living room to play a board game upon Charlotte’s obnoxious insistence. I offered to stay back and clean, and to my surprise, Roan hopped up to help.
“You don’t have to do this,” I tell him, as I set down
a clean plate from the dishwasher a little too hard in the cabinet, making it clang.
“It’s my job,” he bites back, shooting me a nasty glare.
Whatever, asshole.
I continue to unload the dishwasher while he grabs plastic containers to put the leftovers away. He hesitates for a moment as though he’s unsure what to do. Before I can utter a word, Aunt Karen peeps her head in.
“Roan,” she tells him lightly. “Roux loved the lasagna. Can you just take the rest back with you tonight? There’s not enough for this gang to have leftovers, but there’s plenty for the two of you for tomorrow night.”
He nods and then continues on with his task as she leaves. When I’m caught staring, he drops the container onto the counter and turns around, crossing his arms over his chest. Just three feet away from me, I can nearly feel the heat from his muscular body burning into me.
Why must horrible people be so hot?
“What?” he demands, his brows furrowing and his jaw clenching.
“Nothing.”
“Say it, rat.”
I take several steps toward him until my chest bumps against his arms. “Stop calling me that.”
“Or what?” He smirks, an evil glint in his fiery bronze colored eyes. “You’ll tell?”
“You think because you’re bigger than me that I’ll take your shit?”
His eyebrow hikes up, making the barbell piercing look extra hot on him. “Yep.”
“I’m not one of the spineless cowards at school.”
“Is that a threat?” He lowers his head until our faces are inches apart. “Because I don’t take threats lightly. I deal with them.”
I refuse to back away, but this close, he smells good. Too good. My gaze travels down his strong nose to his full, pink lips. His hair is still wet and hangs long and messily over his brow with the piercing. Roan is too good-looking. It’s maddening.
“How?”
“How what?”
“How do you deal with threats?”
His head cocks slightly to one side as he studies me up close. I want to squirm under his intensity, but like a dog with a scent of meat under his nose, he’ll hunt down my weaknesses if I show any sign of them.
“With your fists?” I taunt. “You’re eighteen too, right? Fights could land your ass in jail.” He flinches at my words, so I pounce. “What would Roux do then?”
He grabs the front of my hoodie and pushes me back until my ass hits the counter. I’m crowded by his massive frame that radiates with fury. His hips press hard against mine, making a strangled breath escape me.
Seconds tick, tick, tick by.
His anger morphs into something confusing and heady—something he doesn’t seem to understand either. He roams his hot glare over my features, but rather than his eyes being filled with hate, something sparkles in them. Interest. Curiosity. Heat.
I’m imagining it.
Roan Hirsch hates me for no fucking reason.
He certainly doesn’t look seconds from kissing me.
Because I feel like a rat caught in a trap, all I can do is stare down the predator before me. I lick my lips in a nervous way that attracts his attention. Then I feel it.
Hardness.
Between us.
Me? Him? Both?
His cheeks flush with a tint of pink before he releases me and steps back, nearly stumbling over his own feet.
“There are certain things you’re not allowed to talk about to anyone. Roux being at the top of that list,” he warns, his hands folding together and hanging loosely over his crotch.
I can’t help but dart my stare there, wondering if what I felt was my imagination. “My sisters and mother are off-limits too.”
He nods without hesitation. “Our sisters are friends, and for that reason only, I’ll be fucking civil to you in this house.”
“At school?”
“At school you’re on your own, rat.”
We manage to get the kitchen cleaned up without any other conversation. When we finish, Aunt Karen comes in to check on us.
“Hollis,” she says, giving me a side hug. “Can you do me a huge favor?”
“Of course.”
“The girls need to shower and your mom is exhausted. I’d love it if you could take Roan and Roux home for me so I could help her get them off to bed.”
He stiffens and I nearly choke at her request.
“W-What? Me? Even after today in your office?” I stammer out.
Her lips press into a firm line as she bounces her attention between us. “I think you’ve managed to sort out your differences today. You’re both grown up enough to handle a little car ride. Be careful out there.”
Defeated, I give her a nod, despite the churning in my stomach. “Sure.”
Roan stalks out of the kitchen. He tells Roux to gather her stuff. Aunt Karen gives me a sympathetic look, but then she leaves me. Fuck. I grab my coat and keys, leaving out the front door without a word. The car is cold as hell, but I sit inside of it as I wait for them to come out. Snow flutters around, but nothing too heavy yet. Within minutes, Roan and Roux head out of Aunt Karen’s house toward my car. Roan is normal and nice to Roux. It’s interesting to see this side of him. He’s a mean, hateful bastard at school and to me, but to her, he’s sweet. I expect him to sit in the back with her, but once she’s buckled in, he sits up front with me with his container of leftovers in his lap.
“Where to?” I ask as I back out of the driveway.
He grunts out some directions. We’re quiet as I maneuver the dark, icy streets. As I near the apartment complex he named, he goes rigid.
“Pull over,” he barks out.
“What? We’re not there yet—”
“I said pull over now!”
I dart my eyes to the rearview mirror to see Roux’s eyes widen at her brother’s outburst. Not wanting to make this worse for her, I pull over onto the side of the road.
“Roan, it’s snowing,” I mutter.
“Yep. Roux, get your stuff. Let’s go.”
“Let me pull up farther—”
“Leave it alone, Hollis,” he snarls at me.
Not rat. Hollis.
Something in his burning expression tells me I need to back off. I just don’t understand what his deal is. Is it because he doesn’t want me to see where he lives? I’ve driven by this apartment complex before. It’s rundown and old, but nothing to be ashamed of.
“I, uh…” I pull my phone out of my pocket and hand it to him. “Can you put in your number? I can text you and when you get home safely, you can text me back, so I know you guys didn’t freeze to death or some shit.”
He eyes the phone for the longest time and then he takes it from me, his rough fingertips grazing along my palm sending a tingle of awareness shooting through me. Quickly, he enters in his number before tossing my phone back at me. While he gathers his backpack and climbs out, I text him.
Me: This is Hollis.
Feels formal as fuck, but I don’t know what else to say to the guy. He doesn’t respond, but instead busies himself with getting his sister out of the car.
“Bye, Roux,” I call out through the still open front door of the car. “See you Wednesday, I guess.”
She smiles and waves at me. “Bye, Hollis.”
Roan doesn’t even look at me. Simply slams the door shut and walks off, his arm slung over his sister’s shoulders in a protective way.
I don’t drive off.
Just watch them walk away.
Alone. In the dark. Snow billowing all around them.
Fuck if my heart doesn’t squeeze inside my chest with worry.
The asshole better text me back.
Roan
I hate this place, but I especially hate it at night. Most everyone leaves me the fuck alone because they know I’ll kick their ass if they don’t. But it’s dangerous for a teenaged girl.
Pulling Roux to my side, we weave our way through the parking lot, steering clear of any groups of people. Thi
s complex is a haven for drug deals. A few guys call out to me. I acknowledge them with a head nod, but don’t further engage.
“Charlotte is my best friend,” Roux chirps happily. “We’re going to have slumber parties every weekend. She said her mom will take us roller skating. Did you know she used to have a python, but she had to leave it with her dad when she moved?”
I can’t help but smile as Roux rattles on. She hasn’t been this excited in God knows how long. Truth is, Roux has a hard time at life. Her mom is worthless. Her dad is doing life in prison for shooting and killing three men during a bar fight. And the kids at school are fucking monsters to her. All she has is me.
And now Charlotte.
It makes me uneasy because I know how kids can be. Especially the pretty popular ones. They’re vicious and mean. What happens if Charlotte realizes Roux doesn’t have any friends? Will she leave her behind for the cool kids?
That thought angers me.
I swallow it down, though, and focus on getting up to the third floor in one piece. Several assholes glower at me like they might start some shit, but I crack my neck and eyeball them back. In the end, they leave us alone. As we walk up to our apartment, I notice smoke sliding out from underneath the door.
What the fuck?
I touch the handle, but it’s cold.
“Hold this,” I tell Roux, passing off the leftovers as I unlock the door.
With the turn of the knob, I open the door and push it open. Thick, gray smoke billows out.
“Stay here,” I instruct as I rush in. “Mom? Alejandro?”
Nothing.
They’re not home.
I choke and wave my hand in the air as I make my way into the kitchen. A fucking pot of macaroni is cooking, but the water has long since evaporated. It’s charred to black and smoking. With a growl, I turn off the stove and then toss the pot into the sink. Once I fill it with water, I open a couple of windows and head back to Roux.