by E M Lindsey
Derek chuckled, his shoulders shaking with it as he replied, I’m not going to eat a sandwich and tattoo at the same time. It’ll be for after. But I can get you water or a fizzy drink. Or we have coffee. Whatever you want.
‘Water,’ Basil signed, tapping the edge of his W on his chin. He didn’t think caffeine would do him any favors being stuck in the chair for however long the rest of it took. Part of him wanted to tell Derek to save the rest for later—not just because his skin ached, but because it meant he’d have a reason to come back. But then again, he was sure this piece was far from over. He’d given Derek tacit permission to keep going for as long as he needed, until it was finished, and he knew this wasn’t it.
Watching Derek walk away, Basil studied the shining ink on his skin which was now marked forever, and he couldn’t help but smile. He turned on his camera and snapped a shot of the angry red, slightly raised lines, then sent it in a text to both Amaranth and Amit.
Amaranth: Nerd
* * *
Amit: That looks amazing. You done?
* * *
Basil: Shade flower sometime longer not sure time.
* * *
Amit: Right on, well send me a pic when it’s done. We can get a drink later if you want. I’m off at ten.
* * *
Basil: Text you.
He set his phone down just as Derek came back in and handed him a bottle of water. As Basil cracked the top, Derek took his arm and gently twisted it from side to side as he studied each line. When he was done, he gently set Basil’s arm down and signed, ‘You like?’
‘Beautiful,’ Basil replied. There was more he wanted to say, but Derek didn’t have the signs for it. Someday he would, someday Basil would be able to express just how much this meant to him, and he could be patient until then.
He sipped on his cool drink as Derek donned a fresh pair of gloves, then carefully sprayed something almost astringent onto a new bit of kitchen paper and wiped the ointment away. He adjusted his ink cups, added another shade of grey to the lineup, then looked back at Basil.
‘Ready?
Basil nodded and adjusted himself, laying his arm flat again. He watched as Derek drew his lower lip into his mouth, watched as he carefully extracted a new set of needles—these wider and a little more frightening—and set them into the machine. He watched the way Derek treated every piece on his table with a reverence and care that few people had for anything in their lives, and he wondered what it would be like to be treated that way. Would that be what real love was like? To have someone hold you and touch you like you were something precious?
Chad had said he loved Basil, but he had never touched him with sweetness. Possession, and mockery, and occasional concern—but never the way Derek did, as he gently laid his hand back down on Basil’s arm.
‘Ready?’ Derek asked again.
Basil wanted to tell him he’d be ready for the rest of his life, that he’d sit here and let Derek ink every exposed bit of skin if he wanted, if only it kept them in moments like these. But he didn’t say that—couldn’t, not in a way Derek would understand. So, he just nodded, and let his head fall back, and let himself feel it all.
Chapter Ten
Derek’s gloved thumb gently felt over the raised lines of the tattoo as he smeared ointment over the work. It was a practice he did daily—several times a day depending on his work-load, and yet for some reason, it felt hollow right now. Maybe it was because three nights before, he’d finally gotten his hands on Basil’s skin. He’d felt him heat up and cool down, tense and relax, pull back then submit as Derek inked his skin.
Every client since then had been not enough. Each session lacked the intimacy of his work with Basil, and it was getting to him. With a heavy sigh, he sat back in his chair, watching the young girl leave. The second the door shut, he spun and eyed Tony who was putting together a new bookshelf for Kat’s stall.
“Can I ask you something?”
Tony turned, eyebrows raised. “Of course.”
“You’ve done a lot of Kat’s work, right? Like pretty much all of it?”
Tony put his screwdriver down and turned his chair to face Derek. “Yeah. She had a small sparrow on the back of her neck before we met, and the cover-up I did turned into her entire piece. Why?”
“I just,” Derek said, trying to find words that would make sense. “Was it different, working on her? I mean, when you started on her, were you two already a thing?”
Tony’s mouth quirked into a half smile. “Not quite a thing yet, but we were getting there. And yeah, there was a different kind of intimacy there than with my usual clients.” He scratched the back of his head as he looked at Derek. “Something goin’ on with you?”
Derek felt his cheeks redden a little as he shrugged. “I’ve just…there’s a guy—a client, sort of…”
“The guy you workin’ on for free?” Tony asked.
Derek shrugged. “Might be, yeah. He’s just different. It’s different with him. At first, I thought it might be transference. He helped me out when I freaked out when I got locked in at the bank and my head can get a little nuts when it comes to that stuff. But it just…hasn’t stopped.”
“He’s the guy you started the class for,” Tony pointed out.
Derek felt a wave of guilt. “You know that’s for Jazz, Tony. You know she’s important to me.”
Tony laughed. “Yeah, but it also don’t surprise me that it took the promise of good dick to rush you through the door. I ain’t mad about it, Der. I know you love my girl. She loves you just as much, and you’d get there no matter what. But why you askin’ me this?”
“Because it felt different the other night,” Derek told him. “It’s never been like that before, working on someone, and I’ve had some pretty intense regulars over the years. People I know better than I know myself. But today—it’s felt all fucked up. Working on other people feels empty and wrong. Like…like…”
“Like you’re cheating?” Tony offered, and when Derek flushed again, he laughed and shook his head. “That’s normal. And that won’t last forever. Hell, won’t even feel the same tomorrow. But you damn well know this is intimate shit, here. We’re leaving our mark—sometimes on strangers we’ll never see again. They’ll be carryin’ a piece of us for life, and even if they get that shit covered up, we’re still there. When you cross that line and mark someone who might be special to you, it changes things a little. Adds a layer you don’t feel with anyone else. You learn to separate it, but it takes a little time.”
Derek nodded, sighing quietly as he leaned on his table. “I think this could be something. I mean…maybe not. He hasn’t really given me any indication he’s interested in anything more than friendship and sign language tutoring. But when I’m with him, it feels right.”
“Would you be happy, just havin’ this?” Tony asked. “Just friends?”
“Any way I can have him in my life,” Derek answered, and he was surprised by just how much he meant it. Before Tony could respond, Derek’s phone buzzed, and he glanced at the screen. There was a message from Niko, the first after his promise to text, and Derek was a little startled the guy had actually gone through with it.
“Go ahead,” Tony told him with a grin and a wink. “I gotta finish this up before Kat comes in here and sees what a fuckin’ mess I’ve made.”
Derek chuckled, then opened up his phone to read it.
Niko: Any chance you’d be up for that drink tonight. It’s been a long day and I could use some company.
* * *
Derek: I promised my buddies we’d hang out at our friend’s place, but he wouldn’t mind if you tagged along. Chill night, beer and food.
* * *
Niko: Can I meet you at the shop?
* * *
Derek: Be here at seven thirty.
He set his phone down, smiling just a little. He wasn’t sure he was ready to consider more with Niko, but he really did want, at the very least, to be his friend. Sage had been right
about how much they had in common, and he might have thought a few shitty things, but he wasn’t sure yet. And frankly, he was testing him. Maybe it was a dick move in a way, but he wanted to see what would happen if he brought Niko into a house with the people he loved whose disabilities were in your face visible.
Derek: Yo, can I bring a friend tonight? I’ll pick up food.
* * *
James: Whatever you want, man. If we can help you bump uglies and get you over this slump, we got your back. Nothing’s going down besides Matty working on my leg anyway.
* * *
Sam: Whatever you want, but get bbq, I want slaw on okra so bad I can taste it.
* * *
Derek: Gross, but ok. See you at 8.
Seven-fifteen rolled around, and Derek wasn’t surprised at all when Niko strolled through the door. Lucy, Mat’s roommate who was just starting her apprenticeship with them, was using Sage’s stall, and when she smiled up at him, Derek realized Niko was friendly with more than just his brother in the shop.
“Hey, gorgeous. How’s Cale?” Niko asked, surprising Derek that he knew Lucy’s younger brother.
Lucy smiled. “Recovering. That flu this year kicked his ass. I can’t believe it hit in April.”
“Tell him I’m still holding his spot when he’s ready to come back. I won’t ever cheat on my leg-day guy.” Niko winked at her, then leaned over the counter and made eye-contact with Derek. “Sorry I’m early.”
Derek shrugged, glancing at Lucy out of his periphery who was watching him with a strange expression. He wanted to ask her what it was all about, but he didn’t want to put Niko on the spot. “It’s no worries. Do you want to do me a favor though?”
“Anything,” Niko said quickly.
Derek fished out the food order on the little post-it and handed it off. “Can you call Jerry’s and order all this? Tell whoever answers to throw it on my tab and that I’m bringing my card in tonight.”
Niko looked at him for a moment, then glanced at Lucy before nodding. “You got it. Be back in five.” He strolled back out the front door, and Derek swiveled in his chair to stare at her.
“What?” he demanded.
She shrugged, twirling her colored pencil between her fingers like a tiny baton. “Nothing.”
“Lies,” he said, pointing his sharpie at her. He was profoundly aware of how much she looked like Cale right then, in spite of being six years older than him, and only sharing one parent. “What is it?”
“It’s just…everyone’s been talking about you and the flower guy. Like some epic love story or some shit. Niko is bad ass, I just…I guess I was confused.”
Derek sighed, resting his back against his tool box. “It’s complicated, but right now, Basil and I are just friends. He’s helping me with sign, and I’m doing an arm piece on him.”
“For free,” she pointed out.
“Yeah well,” he said, then trailed off, because the last thing he was in the mood for was to tell the sordid story of his impossible feelings and the struggle of their communications barrier. “It is what it is. I had a date with Niko, and it went kind of shitty, so we’re seeing if there’s any way to fix it.”
She looked startled. “Seriously? I mean, I’m rooting for flower guy, but it’s hard to imagine a date with Niko going badly. He, Mat, and Cale have been gym buddies for like a hundred years. Shit, my mom invites the guy to thanksgiving every year. He’s a good guy.”
Derek bristled a little. “Well, he said a few shitty things about…something,” he finished with some hesitance, not wanting to drag Niko, but not really in the mood to listen to someone come to his defense. “Do you think he knows about Mat’s head injury?”
Lucy’s brow furrowed. “I don’t know. I mean, he hates talking about it, so probably not. Why?”
“Just…he had this sort of attitude about uh…about disabilities and deafness and shit. It wasn’t great.”
Lucy’s face fell. “Oh. Well…”
“Look,” he said, holding up his hand, “it’s not a big deal. We’re trying again, and even if it’s not going to work out like that, we can still be friends. He really does seem like a nice guy, so I’m willing to give it another shot.”
The door opened then, and Derek went quiet as Niko walked back up to the counter and put the post-it down. “Done. He said about twenty minutes.”
“Sweet.” Derek put his sharpie back in his drawer and then double-checked his stall. There was no point in hanging around, anyway. Kat and Laura were in the back to handle any walk-ins, and Wyatt was coming in later for a touch-up appointment, so they were covered. “We can get going.”
Lucy gave him a sunny grin as he got up and headed out the front instead of the back, and he waved before the door swung shut. Neither of them said much for almost a full block before Niko let out a heavy breath and stopped Derek with a hand on his arm.
“Look, if you don’t want to do this, I’ll understand. Don’t feel obligated because Sage and I are friends.”
Derek couldn’t help a tiny laugh as he turned to look at Niko. “My brother and I might share the same face and most of the same ink, but we’re not the same person, and I sure as hell don’t feel like I owe him my loyalty to a person I don’t know that well simply because we’re brothers. I agreed to this because I think you deserve a chance.”
Niko’s cheeks darkened, the color visible even under the dim streetlight. “I really am sorry about that. I should have known better.”
“Maybe,” Derek gave him. “But you did listen, and that’s the important part.” He almost told him then, about hanging out with Sam and James tonight, but he wanted to see his raw reaction when they walked through the door. “Do you want to take your own car. In case it gets awkward?”
Niko shoved one hand into his pocket. “I wouldn’t mind if we shared. Uh…unless you think you want your own escape. But I also have no problem calling an uber.”
Derek smiled. “I think sharing is great. Come on, before I’m sacrificed to the tattoo gods for being late with the food.”
They arrived twenty minutes later, Derek holding the door for Niko who insisted on carrying all three bags. They were at James’ place that night, a leftover relic from the thirties tucked back into a grove of trees. He’d inherited the place from his brother who had been thirty years older than he was, and no kids to pass his shit onto. It came with some nice in-law quarters, a little cottage out back which was currently being rented by a blind man who was taking a sabbatical from his teaching job.
No one knew the guy well—no one except James, who occasionally ate dinner with him and played cards—but he seemed nice enough, and he never complained if guys’ night got a little rowdy and loud.
The guys were set up in the living room, so Derek took Niko right to the kitchen to unload before they went in to make introductions.
“Is your brother here?” Niko asked as he unloaded the boxes of brisket and chicken.
Derek shook his head. “He’s out with a couple of the girls from the shop. Did you want me to call and invite him?”
Niko bit his lip, hiding a smile. “Is it bad if I say no? I just,” he went on in a hurry, like Derek might be offended, “I like getting to know you without him there. Siblings make each other weird.”
Derek couldn’t help his laugh, mostly because it was true. He tended to be a little more withdrawn whenever Sage was around, and it was worse after Ted tied because Derek was always so afraid something would remind his brother of the man he lost and would send him into a spiral.
“I don’t think it’s bad. You’ll like these guys just as much as my brother. They swear a little more, but once they trust you, they’ll always have your back.” Derek grabbed a beer out of the fridge, and Niko grabbed water before following Derek through the sliding door and into the main living area.
Before Derek could begin to make introductions, he felt Niko freeze at his back, and then take a stumbling step away, gasping, “Holy shit!”
De
rek frowned, confused for as long as it took to see Mat carving into the fleshy colored foam of James’ prosthetic covering. Niko had all-but crashed into the wall, and his face was turned away and slightly green.
Suppressing a laugh, Derek reached out and touched his arm. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s a fake leg, dude. It’s just foam.”
Niko’s breath hitched, then he opened his eyes and his face blushed so red, Derek worried he might pass out. “Seriously?”
With barely repressed laughter, James lifted his stump into the air. “Seriously. One of the ladies at our shop actually does scarification, but believe me, she only does that shit at the shop in a very sterile room. I wouldn’t let any of these fucks carve me up on this nasty-ass sofa.”
Mat rolled his eyes, his scalpel digging into a curve of sharpie-marked foam. “Dude, this is your sofa.”
“Yeah, and you fucks know I found it outside the dorms last year. It probably has all kinds of pubic lice,” James said with a shit-eating grin.
By then, Niko had calmed, his face fading to a faint pink. He leaned his head in toward Derek and murmured, “I am so mortified.”
Derek shook his head, still grinning. “Don’t worry about it. If I didn’t know better, it would have freaked me out too. His leg looks real as hell.”
Niko looked unsure, but he stepped back up to Derek’s side and looked around. His eyes immediately found Sam’s chair, though Derek doubted it was obvious who it belonged to. Sam was on the love-seat with his legs stretched in front of him, and James was half-lying on the sofa with both of his in Mat’s lap.
Derek studied him for a moment, but he supposed any sense of immediate discomfort had been dispelled by thinking one of the guys was getting carved up with a scalpel on a dirty old sofa. “Guys, this is Niko.”