by E M Lindsey
She flushed a little and looked only a bit contrite. “Oh.”
“I actually just meant for the classes. I’m going to the yoga one this weekend. It’s on Saturday at Rose Garden Park. At nine.” As a means of proof, he pulled out his phone and showed her the screen with Sam’s text on it.
She stared a moment then shrugged and reached behind her for the bag hanging from her chair. Pulling out her phone, she hesitated, then flicked on the screen and looked at him. “Okay, give me your number and I’ll think about it. I’m Kristen, by the way.”
He grinned, rattling off his number. “I’m Niko,” he told her when he saw her type Possible Gym Creep in the name section. “But that works too.”
She shrugged, unrepentant as she kept it the same. “You might earn a real name in my phone if you end up not being a huge douche. But I’ve been working out here for a few weeks and I don’t have a lot of hope.”
Niko’s eyes flickered to the guy behind the desk who was watching them like they were the latest soap opera, and he felt a surge of irritation. “Do you want to grab a smoothie with me? Uh, a platonic smoothie? I just…it’s been kind of a weird morning, and if this is any indication of your day…” he trailed off, waving his hand toward the desk.
She glared at the guy once more, then nodded. “Normally I’d tell you to fuck off, but that juice bar just got in a fresh batch of peaches, and their peach pie smoothie is to die for. Like literally. So yes.”
“Give me five to wipe down and grab my shit. Technically I’m on my lunch break and I don’t think I’d be the most popular guy if I showed up this disgusting.” He started to head off, but froze when he heard her voice call out to him.
“I can’t see a lot of people complaining,” she said, and smirked when he turned around with raised brows. She shrugged one shoulder as she leaned back. “What? Douche or not, you know your ass is bangin’.”
Niko rolled his eyes, but grinned and hurried off to change. Something felt lighter inside of him, like a bulb going off telling him that he wasn’t a total disaster. That he could talk to a stranger and actually make a friend without it being some big production. He was a functional human being, and he just had to tap into that.
He gave himself a cursory wipe down and swiped a few extra layers of deodorant, sniffing himself to make sure he wasn’t offensive before heading back out to meet Kristen. She was outside on the phone when he pushed past the doors, but she ended her call right away and gave her wheels a push in the direction of the smoothie shop.
“So, you really mean it? About your friend?” she asked as they approached the entrance. There was a decent line, but it was the lunch hour and frankly he didn’t much care how late he was. He grabbed the door and held it for her to go past him.
“Yeah. We’re not like friends friends. I met him through a blind date the other night and we hit it off, but he was telling me about the different classes he runs.”
She looked at him with her brows high on her forehead. “You were scamming on some other dude while you were on a date?”
Niko laughed. “More like I had been a complete ass on the actual date, and we decided to try again, but there were no sparks. His friend though…” Niko blushed and shrugged, shoving one hand into his pocket. “He’s hot.”
“The guy in the wheelchair,” she asked.
He shrugged. “Yeah. Why, is that weird?”
“Depends,” she answered honestly. “Do you typically date disabled guys?”
Niko frowned. “I feel like whatever I answer is going to get me lambasted. But no, I’ve never dated a disabled guy before. Does that make me a huge asshole?”
She grinned a little and shook her head. “It took me a while to trust that my fiancé wanted to be with me for me, and not because of some weird disability fetish.”
Niko blinked at her. “That’s…is that a thing?”
“A bigger thing than you’d think,” she told him with a shrug. “We had a rocky start, but it’s good now. It’s not really a good or bad thing that you haven’t dated guys like him before.”
“I haven’t dated much at all, actually,” he told her honestly. “My last job, I was kind of in the closet for, uh, reasons. And then I moved here, and I was too fucking busy with school and then work for anything other than quick hook-ups. I like him though.”
“Why?” she asked.
“You practicing for the Inquisition?” he asked her, bristling a little.
“I’m nosy, sue me,” she said. They moved up another couple spots and his attention moved to the board as he considered her question.
“He was so hot, but I told you that already. And he was funny,” he finally said. “The kind of funny where he wasn’t trying, you know, but I hadn’t laughed like that in a while and it felt good. He’s going through some shit right now with life, so I don’t even know if I have a shot—hell, I don’t even know if he likes dudes.”
“But you were on a date with his guy friend, right?” she pointed out.
He frowned at her. “So?”
“So, I’m bisexual. I’ve been out and proud for years, and I can tell you firmly that most of us move together like a big lion pride. We just kind of find each other. If he’s not gay, I’m willing to bet he’s at least some flavor of the acronym. You’re probably safe assuming he’s not hetero.”
Niko couldn’t help his grin. “You terrify me a little, but I like you.”
She smiled. “I know. Anyway, go buy me my peach pie smoothie and maybe I’ll change your name in my phone.”
Niko rolled his eyes but did as she asked. By the time they got a table, he felt like his entire world had shifted.
Chapter Seven
“No, Sock. Down. Jesus Christ,” Sam complained as
he tried to get his dog to settle for the food bowl. He and the miniature Schnauzer had a short face-off before Sock finally relented, turning his head and pulling away. Sam made him wait an extra few seconds before putting the bowl on the floor, then he moved into the other room where he found Maisy on the sofa with his neighbor brushing Maisy’s hair into braids.
“You look frazzled, boychik,” she told him, shaking her head.
Sam dragged a hand down his face, trying not to let his stress get to him over the stupid fucking rehab class he had scheduled that morning. He’d slept through his first two alarms, and then Maisy had woken up in a mood. To top of off, Kat called and said she was going to be late picking her up for school, which meant his entire day was thrown. If it weren’t for Esther, he’d be up the fucking river.
“It’s just been one of those mornings. I have a class in Denver and May’s auntie is going to be late getting here to drop her off at pre-k.”
Esther tutted and let Maisy slide down to the floor where she immediately picked up her dolls. When she was settled, Esther rose and walked over, palming his cheek. “All you need to do is ask, boychik. You know that.”
Sam flushed a little. Esther and her husband Uri were like parents to him in a way he hadn’t expected when he’d bought his townhouse. He had expected more pushback from the neighbors, but the pair of them had immediately come over to feed him and welcome him. When he brought Maisy home from the foster agency, Esther had been a god-send. Literally. When things felt like they were falling apart, she was there to help him put them back together.
“I know you’re busy,” he said, which was really a polite lie.
Uri was still an adjunct professor at the University, but Esther had long-since retired and was forever complaining about boredom. Still, Sam struggled with his fear of being a burden, the leftover trauma imbued into him by his parents. He believed Esther when she assured him he never was, yet he was always unable to break past it. It left her constantly checking in to see if he needed help since she knew he’d never ask for it.
“You go and get yourself ready. Miss May and I will finish up with the dolls and do a little tidying, and I can stick around until Kat gets here.” When Sam started to hesitate, she gripped
his shoulder in firm grasp. “It means I get to kiss that sweet little baby of hers, Sam. It’s no hardship. Now go on, or do I have to drag you into the shower myself?”
Sam flushed, grinning as he took her hand and kissed the back of it. “What would I do without you?”
“Let’s not even think about that,” she said, giving his cheek a pat. “Though you might want to think about finding yourself a nice boy to settle down with. You know my neighbor that runs tot-Shabbat? Her grandson just came out, and she said he’s in law school. He’d probably like a little rebellion. Cute boyfriend with all those tattoos and nipple rings.”
Sam shoved his wheels back, trying not to laugh. “Nope. No. I can’t with you this morning, Esther. I’m going to go shower.”
“Good boy,” she called out after him.
His grin was so wide, it felt like it was threatening to split his face.
* * *
Sam knew he should be at least a little contrite about showing up to the class fifteen minutes late, but he couldn’t bring himself to give a single fuck what the teacher thought about him. He’d roll in, do the bare minimum to get them to sign off on his attendance, and then call it a day. Hell, he’d call it a year, or twelve, because he was a thousand percent done with all this. He’d already sat through these classes twenty years ago, when he was a kid, trying to figure out how the hell he was going to adjust to a life without being able to stand up on his own.
The classes had been helpful then. The classes had given him the idea that he could be a functional, independent person who could easily live in his own place without having to rely on two people who resented the fact that he’d survived the crash. But that was then. He was a thirty-eight-year-old man with a three-year-old daughter, and he’d been doing this longer than he could remember. It was patronizing and humiliating, and he couldn’t help but wonder if that’s exactly what Beth wanted.
Entering the classroom full of nervous people freshly injured, felt like an insult. It felt like a person forced to take a class in their own native language as some sort of sick way of trying to prove they were worthy of being considered a whole person.
But, he was doing it anyway. He ignored the pointed look he got from the instructor, sat his ass in the back of the room, and didn’t say a word the entire time. The class was the longest hour he’d ever endured, but eventually it ended. The moment they were dismissed, he grabbed his wheels and hauled ass out the door, dodging the instructor and anyone else who might have wanted to make small talk. The moment he was in the car, he pulled his phone out and called Kat. “Can you grab May from school and meet me at the park? I need to be out for a bit.”
“You want me to bring Jazzy with?” she asked.
Sam felt his stomach twist. “Look, don’t take this the wrong way but…”
“You need time with your kiddo. I get it,” she said, and her tone told him that of course she did. “I’ll pack her some duck food and meet you in…?”
“An hour,” he said, checking the traffic on his GPS.
“Thanks, babe. You know I love you, right?”
“So you say,” she replied, and chuckled before hanging up.
He let his phone drop to the seat, gave himself three minutes to let the impact of the shitty day hit him, then he turned the key and hit the road.
Traffic was a bitch, but not bad enough to delay him, and he pulled into the parking lot near the little man-made pond just in time to see Maisy climbing out of Kat’s car. His heart twisted at the sight of her, the faint, excited pink in her chubby cheeks, the way her steps made her little braids bounce. He felt an urgency to get out, to roll over and hold her until he felt like himself again, but he didn’t want to freak her out. He didn’t want her to feel like this was a losing battle, like he didn’t know how he was going to pull ahead this time.
He wouldn’t let himself dwell on what life would be like if he lost her, but he knew he’d have to face it sooner or later. He didn’t think he was lucky enough to get this as a forever, and as he stared at the dwindling amounts in his savings every time he had to take a class or pay a therapist or fill his tank to make yet another drive into the city, he knew he was reaching defeat.
Sam took one cleansing breath, then did as quick of a transfer as he could manage, locked the car, and headed up onto the pavement where Maisy was digging into her Dora pack for her birdseed. She noticed him straight away, her eyes all-but glowing as she flung himself in his direction.
“Dada!”
He grabbed her, pulling her onto his lap, burying his nose in her hair. She smelled like dirt and cookie crumbs, and a little bit like the shop which he loved because it was all the scents of home and family. He rubbed his hand down her back, then grinned when she pressed a kiss to his cheek.
“Imma feed’a ducks,” she told him seriously.
“Yeah?” he asked. “Did auntie Kat give you birdseed?”
“I got some seeds,” she told him with a nod. “I wike’a ducks.”
“Okay sweet girl, let’s go.” He positioned her on his lap and gave Kat a nod—the most he could muster up as a goodbye—and she seemed to understand what it was. She headed back to her car, and he only felt himself unwind when the sound of her engine faded into the distance. He was profoundly grateful the park was mostly empty as he reached the edge of the little pond and set his brake, then gently lowered Maisy to the ground.
He felt his heart stutter a little as she teetered close to the edge, but it wouldn’t be the first time he’d leapt out of his chair to save her from something. Pools, highchairs, changing tables. He’d suffered plenty of bruised cheeks and black eyes to prevent hers, and he was fine with it.
“Here, May-day,” he told her, giving her a pinch of the seed. “Throw it in the water and see if they come up.”
“Kay.” She did, and a second later, a turtle popped up to snatch what was there, making her jump back and squeal. “Whassat!”
He grinned, holding the back of her shirt as she peered over the edge. “Turtle, baby. Looks like he’s hungry too.”
“Pwease,” she said, holding out her hand. He poured more into her palm and smiled too hard when she threw the seed and giggled.
The distraction of both turtles and ducks didn’t last long, and eventually she was eyeing the playground, so he gathered up her things and let her run ahead as he pushed after her. It felt good to be outside, to be rolling along packed dirt and grass with the wind in his face instead of navigating stuffy corridors and facing off with ignorant instructors who treated him like he was incapable of doing more than wiping his own nose.
He tried not to be offended, tried not to compare himself to the person he was when he needed those classes, but being tossed back there was a blow. Even if he knew it was just the suits fucking with him, nothing shook a man’s ego like being told an entire life’s worth of experience didn’t mean jack shit.
He forced himself out of those thoughts and watched Maisy climb up onto the toddler slide and go down, giggling and kicking her little feet. His chair couldn’t move past the concrete barrier which frustrated him, but there weren’t other parks in the area, and he knew from experience how fast he could scoot on his ass over the woodchips to get to her when she skinned her knee. Not ideal, but Maisy didn’t seem to notice he did things differently, and for now, he was taking that as a win.
Just as she started to toddle toward the little rocking ponies set on springs, he heard someone to his left clear their throat. Turning his head, his eyebrows shot up when he saw Niko standing there in running gear, yanking one of his earbuds out of his ear.
“I don’t mean to interrupt,” he said quietly.
Sam shook his head. Normally he was edgy any time a stranger came around Maisy. He’d never, ever introduced her to anyone he’d slept with or dated. Hell, anyone he’d been even vaguely attracted to had been off limits, but something about Niko felt different. Even after Derek told him everything, it wasn’t the same as guys he’d met before.
“It’s fine. She’s entertaining herself and I’m enjoying finally getting outside.”
Niko’s lip quirked. “Long day?”
“You could say that,” he told him. “You?”
“Ah. It’s…” Niko trailed off and shrugged, glancing up at the sky. “I’m considering this new business venture and I’m not sure it’s going to work. I really want it, and I think because of that, I’m having a mild freak-out.”
“What is it?” Sam asked.
Niko looked at him, and Sam could see the internal war going on inside. Just before he was about to tell the guy never mind, Niko answered him. “I’m leasing the old diner, the one that just shut down, and I’m going to open up a Greek place.”
Sam’s eyes widened. “Yeah? Like what? Gyros and shit or…?”
“No,” Niko said, shaking his head. He eyed the concrete block, then lowered himself down and let his hands hang between his spread knees. That way, he was a few inches shorter than Sam, and it was always kind of nice to look down at someone for a change. “I was born there.”
“Greece?” Sam asked, a little surprised.
Niko smiled at him. “Yeah. This little city on Crete—my dad was a fisherman and my mom taught primary school and cleaned rooms at the tourist resort there. Then my dad got a job offer in the States at a packing plant—I think my uncle, or his cousin hooked him up, I can’t remember. I was like four. Anyway, we moved to Jersey for that, and I grew up there.”
“That’s the accent,” Sam said, though he wasn’t entirely sure it was just that. He had something else, a different sort of lilt to his words that wasn’t entirely east coastal.
Niko flushed and shrugged. “Yeah. I tried to lose it when I was in high school, but it’s a stubborn bitch.”
Sam bit his lip and looked over at Maisy who hadn’t notice their visitor yet, having too much fun flinging herself back and forth on the pony. “So, Greek food?”
Niko nodded his head just once. “Yeah. My family’s old recipes, but modified a little, so I can put them on a menu. I have to find a chef. I want someone who knows what the fuck they’re doing, not some pretentious cooking school asshole who spent a week in Athens and thinks he knows authentic cuisine.”