by E M Lindsey
As she approached, he dug his wallet out of his pocket, pulled out a handful of twenties, and passed them over. “I can’t stay, but whatever they want, it’s on me.” He pulled out two more twenties. “For your tip,” mostly because he knew they would either spend nothing, or every dime, and he didn’t think they had plans to be kind to any service worker.
She took the cash, her fingers shaking a little. “Are you… can I get you anything to go or…”
He smiled softly at her. “No, I promise I’m all good. I’ll be back though, and you can let me know how today went.” He pushed away from the table, then leaned back toward her. “Keep whatever they don’t spend.” With a dismissive wave to both Rose and Chuck, he headed out the front doors and took several gulps of the cooling, late afternoon air.
He wasn’t surprised to hear footsteps after him, and he didn’t really slow his pace as Rowan caught up and matched him with a long stride. “I missed what happened, but I saw their faces.”
Sam eased up on the wheels once the parking lot came into view, and he turned one wheel to face Rowan. “Well, they have some bullshit plan to take Maisy and raise her until her piece of shit bio dad is out of prison in about a decade. If he gets out then,” Sam amended. “They seem to think they have a case because I’m a homo with a disability who works in a disreputable profession.”
“They said homo?” Rowan asked with slightly wide eyes.
Sam snorted a bitter laugh and shook his head. “Nah. They said my lifestyle. Then I told them to consider the state we were in. I might be dealing with bullshit about my wheels,” he gave the right one a pat, “but they’re not going to win on their warped version of morality.”
Rowan’s brow was furrowed in thought, then he nodded. “We can use this. I mean, none of this is technically admissible as evidence, but you can make a statement in mediation if need be. There might be time to appeal the unsupervised visitation based on the homophobic comments they made, and I’m going to get on that now. I have a friend down at the clerk’s office who owes me a favor, and we might just find our petition on top of the Judge’s paperwork tomorrow morning.”
Sam didn’t want to let himself hope, but all the same, he smiled. “Thanks.”
“Don’t worry,” Rowan told him. “I know that wasn’t easy in there, but you did great.”
Sam licked his lips, then tilted his head back to stare up at the fading blue in the sky. “I barely kept it together. I managed it, but only just. I think I’m going to go home and drink myself into oblivion while Maisy has fun at her aunt and uncle’s.”
“I can’t professionally condone such an action, but since I’m officially off the clock, I say go for it. I’ve been eyeing a cute bar just up the way next to some restaurant being remodeled. I think I’m going to go…make a friend.” Rowan winked, then squeezed Sam’s shoulder and walked off.
Sam gave himself a minute to take a breath, but he didn’t want to linger. Chances were, the Attley’s would be coming out after him, and the last thing he needed was to be provoked further. He quickly pushed his chair down the ramp, and within a few minutes was behind the wheel.
He stuck his key in the ignition, then as an afterthought, checked his messages to make sure Kat and Tony were still fine. The alert was blinking, but when he flicked the screen on, he was surprised to find Niko’s name on there.
Niko: Just got back into town—things ended up finishing sooner than I expected. Let me know if you want to hang out somewhere.
* * *
Sam: Do you want to come over? May’s at Tony’s tonight and I have a little yellow pill with my name on it. And a cock with yours.
* * *
Niko: Jesus. Not even a wine and dine first? ;)
* * *
Sam: Well if you really want…
* * *
Niko: How about I bring take-away and you bring the wine. Call it an even trade? Booze, food, and sex, and we won’t have to leave the house.
* * *
Sam: Done. I’ll be home in twenty.
Maybe for the first time in his life, Sam actually appreciated there was a drive-through liquor store not far from his place. He was able to swoop through and grab a few bottles of a cheap red without bothering with a chair transfer, and he was home five minutes quicker than expected.
He waved to Esther who was sweeping her driveway, then quickly hurried inside so he wouldn’t get drawn into a conversation which would take up all the time he wanted to down the Cialis and get his cock ring ready. He wanted something more than a quick rub out. He wanted Niko on him, and wanted to be inside him, and feel possessed by him in a way that no one had made him feel before.
He’d been avoiding Niko for the last week only because he knew that getting any closer would make it impossible for him to leave. This was dangerous territory—he was emotionally compromised and needy, and Niko was like a drug. They’d fucked once and he was already addicted. But he didn’t want to stay away. If he was going to be fighting a war against bigots and a state funded agency for his daughter, he decided he was allowed this little indulgence. He couldn’t let himself get too far, but he could let himself have something.
And it wasn’t like Niko wanted more, and that was something he told himself on repeat, so the guilt wouldn’t eat at him.
With a sigh, he unlocked his door and went right to the laundry room to let out Sock. The pup gave a couple of high-pitched yips, jumping up to lick at him before Sam ushered him outside for his evening meal and romp in the fake grass. He set the blocker on the dog door and quietly asked for the pup’s forgiveness because he didn’t plan on taking it out until he was thoroughly sweaty and sated and sore in all the right places.
His eyes glanced to the clock, then he transferred to his sofa and sent Niko a text to just come in when he got there. That done, he pulled the little pill out of the bottle and dry swallowed. All he had left to do was wait.
Chapter Seventeen
Niko spent five full minutes standing in his kitchen before he went to the fridge and grabbed
two containers out. One was filled with moussaka and the other with dolmades he’d whipped up a few days before in an attempt to get the flavors right. They weren’t perfect, but they would be good enough, and it meant one less stop. He’d heat them at Sam’s, and they’d be plenty of protein. He was really, really hoping to need it.
Part of him wished he could shower again before heading over. He swore the scent of sulfur from the springs lingered on his skin, but he didn’t want to waste another minute. He grabbed his coat from the back of a chair, grabbed his keys, then headed out the door.
He wasn’t sure whether or not the short drive was a good or bad thing considering he didn’t have enough time to freak out or calm down. Part of him whispered again and again that it was a bad idea, that he was playing with fire, that he was only going to get hurt.
And the other part of him didn’t give a single fuck, because he’d take Sam any way he could have him. Maybe that was real love—or maybe some sort of mixture of chemicals in his brain that made him truly stupid. Maybe he actually had bled out during his injury and this was some sort of purgatory he was living, cursed to love and never be loved in return. Whatever the case, he found himself getting out of the car, gathering the food, and heading inside.
The text had told him to come right in, but he still gave a cursory knock before pushing the door open, and he heard Sam call out, “In the living room!” as he closed it. He juggled the food in both hands and peered around the living room wall to see Sam on the sofa with his head back, the remote in his hands, but the TV off.
“Do you want to eat now?” Niko asked.
Sam blinked his eyes open, then shook his head as he bit his lip for a second. “Uh. No. I’m…” He reached down to adjust the front of his jeans and it was there Niko saw a bulge waiting for him.
The sight of it was so unexpected, so sudden, he nearly dropped the food right there at his feet. He only just caught himself and cleared his throat. “
I’m uh…I’ll go put uh…” Words. Words were a thing he couldn’t do right then, so he turned on his heel and walked into the kitchen. He set everything down gently, then splayed his hands on the table and took in a shuddering breath.
The sight of Sam’s hard cock meant one thing—he was going to get fucked. Sam was going to fuck him. Sam was going to let Niko ride him until he came all over his chest and…and Jesus, he was going to blow his load before he even got there.
He took in a last breath, then walked into the living room to find Sam with his zip open and his cock peeking out from the slit in his boxers. Niko’s mouth went dry. “You didn’t waste any time,” he said, his voice rough and low.
Sam chuckled. “No. No, I didn’t. I have lube and condoms in my bathroom if you want to grab them. I would, but it would take me a hundred years, and I don’t want to waste my energy on that.”
Niko licked his lips, a slow drag of tongue, a heavy feeling in his throat like he wanted to swallow that cock. He wondered if Sam would like it—if he’d get any pleasure out of watching, even if he couldn’t feel it. He was too nervous and just a bit too turned on to ask right then, so instead he went into the bathroom and pawed around in the drawers until he found what he was looking for. They both looked old, but neither past their dates, so he took them back to where Sam was waiting, now almost all the way out of his jeans.
He had one hand around his cock, and he was stroking it. When he pulled down, it shifted the boxers and Niko could see a thick black cock-ring wrapped around the base, tucked just behind his balls. His hands shook again, and he clenched them into fists.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” Sam demanded as Niko began slow steps toward him.
Niko blinked, but was unable to take his gaze away from where Sam was holding himself. “The truth?”
“The truth,” Sam echoed.
“Even if it might…I don’t know,” Niko said, flailing a little. “I don’t want to say something wrong.”
“I’m about to fuck you in the ass with a cock that can’t feel it. Trust me, I don’t think now’s the time for holding back,” Sam replied, some amusement in his voice.
Niko finally met Sam’s gaze. “I want to suck it. I want to suck your cock.”
Sam shuddered, and his cheeks pinked. His hand fell away, falling flat to his thigh, and his fingers dug into the meat of his leg. “Yeah?”
Niko nodded. He was in front of Sam now, knees buckling without meaning to. He used his back to shove the coffee table over enough to give him room to wedge between Sam’s legs, and his fingers curled into the waistband of his jeans which were halfway off. “May I?”
Sam looked at him a long moment, then reached up to curl the fingers of his right hand into the short hairs at the back of Niko’s head. “Yes.”
Niko wasted no time, and it wasn’t as easy as other lovers had been. Sam’s legs were unresponsive and stiff, and trembled a little as Niko handled them, but he was more than determined. He got them peeled away and tossed to the side, and he looked back up at Sam whose eyes were almost all pupil. “Boxers?” he asked.
At that, Sam’s entire upper half went tense, and he glanced off to the side. “I don’t uh… it’s not really sexy down there. This is bad enough,” he added, gesturing to the exposed flesh—pale and a little hairy, ankles and feet a little swollen, which lay on either side of Niko’s body.
Niko stared for a moment, then pressed his flat palms to the top of Sam’s knees, added as much pressure as he dared, and dragged down. The motion all-but ripped a groan from Sam who arched his upper body like he wanted to lean into him, and Niko dragged his hands back up, over the boxers, then curled his fingers into the elastic.
“Please,” he said quietly. “I want you. All of you.”
Sam still hesitated, but after what felt like a short eternity, he nodded. It was one, stiff movement of his head, but it was enough, and Niko carefully did the same thing he’d done with the jeans. It was a little harder, getting them over the curve of his immobile ass, but the fabric was light and thin, and soon enough they joined the jeans.
Niko couldn’t help but drag his hands up the sides of Sam’s thighs, moving to palm his ass. It was then he realized what had gotten Sam upset. Because under the left side of his hand, right where the ass cheek should be fleshy, it wasn’t. It was knotted and thick, concave with missing flesh and scars. His fingers pressed into it in spite of knowing Sam couldn’t feel it, and he looked up to see Sam watching him with intensity he couldn’t describe.
“Is it this?”
Sam huffed a breath. “The last guy I dated saw it and said it was fine. We fucked, and then he ghosted because I know it’s fucking gross.”
“Nothing about you is gross,” Niko told him, a little heat in his voice. “And he ghosted because he’s a piece of shit, not because there’s anything wrong with you. But we don’t have to go there right now. I mean, it’s my ass tonight, right?”
At that, some of the tension left Sam’s shoulders and he even managed a quick grin. “I suppose that’s why you’re here.”
“I’m here because you called,” Niko told him, afraid he was giving away too much, but he couldn’t help it. “I’ll always come when you call.”
Something flickered across Sam’s face, something wondering and maybe a little afraid, but it was quickly replaced with determination as he shoved at Niko’s shoulders. “Stand up and undress. Then lay over me, because I’m going to get at least four fingers in your ass. I want you to come on my cock, and this little pill won’t last forever, so we better get moving.”
Niko’s cock twitched, and with it, his entire body flushed with anticipation of pleasure so great, he was almost afraid of it. But he wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth here, not with that much promise. He scrambled upward, his hands feeling empty after leaving Sam’s body, but he busied them with stripping down and throwing his clothes to the other side of the room. His cock was hard, the head poking out through his foreskin, a steady dribble of precome dripping from the end. He saw the way Sam stared at it, the way he licked his lips like he was a starving man, and it took everything in Niko not to straddle his torso and feed it to him.
Maybe another time. If he was lucky. If Sam wanted him again.
He shook himself out of those thoughts and quickly snatched up the lube and condom before kneeling on the sofa beside Sam. “How do you want me?”
Sam looked at him, considering, then cocked his head to the side and twirled his finger in the air. “Turn around and lay your cheek on the arm of the sofa.” Niko didn’t need to be told twice, the commanding tone in Sam’s voice going straight to his dick, making his balls tense a little with a need to come. He breathed through it as he braced himself on his forearms, letting his forehead rest against the slightly too hard edge of the sofa.
He let his eyes drift closed, his body primed, anxious for the first touch. When he heard the cap to the lube snap open, his breath caught in his throat. His shoulders tensed, his legs spread a little wider, and he waited. And he waited. His throat went tense with a desire to beg Sam to get on with it, to hurry. He knew Sam was watching him, taking in the view, maybe even imagining what it was going to be like.
Niko was doing much of the same, a phantom feeling inside his ass where Sam’s dick would go. And then he’d touch him—he’d touch Sam in all the places he’d learned Sam liked best. He’d fuck himself on Sam’s dick and he’d bring Sam over the edge with him, and it would be so good. It would be so fucking good.
When Sam’s hand finally cupped his ass, Niko was almost too taut. His body jolted, his breath leaving his lungs in a faint hiss, and he pressed his forehead to the stiff fabric. Sam’s finger was gentle, a soft prodding as he circled it up and down the crack of Niko’s ass. Niko was aware, then, this was going to be torture—the best, sweetest kind, but torture nonetheless. Sam was going to take his time, get Niko begging, and only then would he be given release.
Niko was startled to realiz
e not only how much he wanted it, but how Sam was the only one he’d ever given this kind of power. Yes, he wasn’t as experienced as most gay men his own age, but he was by no means a virgin. Yet, he’d never allowed himself to be this vulnerable, never let someone have control over his body. It should terrify him, but instead it made him feel safe and wanted.
He turned his head and let his cheek rest on the sofa, and the moment his shoulders lost tension, Sam pushed a finger in his ass with a quiet, “Good. That’s so good.”
Niko groaned, his hips thrusting back as though he couldn’t stop them, and Sam let out a tiny moan as he began to fuck his finger in and out. The slide was gentle, not nearly enough stretch, and just before Niko opened his mouth to beg, Sam added a second. That was more like it, more intense, exactly what Niko needed. He bit his bottom lip so hard he nearly drew blood, and he reached back to grab his ass cheeks, spreading them further.
“Fuck,” Sam breathed out a harsh gasp as his hand pushed in as far as it could. “Like that. Just like that. Hold yourself open for me.” Niko complied as Sam scissored his fingers open, making the stretch intense, fucking in and out, hard enough that the heel of Sam’s palm slapped against his skin.
Niko gasped when he felt another cold dollop of lube, but it warmed quickly with the third finger Sam added. The stretch was intense now, and perfect, and overwhelming. Niko was half out of his mind as Sam fucked him that way for what felt like an actual forever. And then the fourth pressed in. His pinky was shorter than the rest, and blunt, and it added just enough pain to bring Niko back to earth.
His eyes opened, his vision still a little hazy, but he was present.
His cock was aching, desperate to be touched, dribbling steadily under him. He almost reached down to touch himself, but he stopped himself at the last second. He wanted to wait, give his dick just one tug before coming because Sam had worked him up to the edge of that cliff. He clenched his teeth and pushed back against Sam’s hand, managing to beg, “Please. Now.”