by Cait Marie
Which was why he was surprised when Phillip entwined their fingers together.
“It’s all right,” Phillip whispered when Shane looked up at him.
Shane couldn’t help but glance at the woman sitting nearby. Her eyes were on them, and he wondered if Phillip was aware that she could see them.
“You know,” Melanie started as she stood and walked toward them, “I’ve known you two for most of your lives now.”
Shane swallowed, unsure where this was going.
She stopped and put a hand on Phillip’s shoulder. “I could not think of two people better suited for each other. Watching Phillip fall for you, Shane, without you having a clue, was painful.”
Shane’s jaw dropped open.
“Yes.” She laughed. “I’ve known longer than you, it seems. Regardless, you made it here, and I am so happy for you both.”
He stepped forward to hug the woman.
“And your people will be too,” she said, loud enough for Phillip to hear.
Alone and back in his room, Shane dropped the Nihryst book onto the table. His shoulders drooped as he staggered over to his bed and fell onto it, exhaustion hitting him hard. A weariness snuck up on him, brought on by the darkness that had haunted him his whole life.
He buried his face in his hands, not bothering to undress or lie beneath the blankets. Letting out an exasperated sigh, he lowered his hands to his stomach and stared at the ceiling. Shadows danced across the room from the dying fire and starry night outside the windows. Clouds drifted past the moon, occasionally sending him into darkness as a familiar fog coated his mind—a numbness spreading over the nerves.
There was a faint rustle, but he couldn’t bring himself to move. Gentle hands began removing his shoes. When they’d both fallen to the floor, a concerned face appeared over him.
“You’re still awake,” Phillip said, his smile clear in his voice.
With a deep breath, Shane attempted to slide his mask back in place, grateful for the dimness of the room. He sat up, turning to hang his feet off the side of his bed. Phillip put a hand against his cheek and brought his lips down on Shane’s before he could say anything.
Tilting his head to deepen the kiss, Shane pulled his friend to stand between his legs. His fingers moved along Phillip’s back and sides, needing this distraction from himself. Phillip broke the kiss and leaned away to meet his eyes in the fluttering light.
“You used the tunnel?” Shane didn’t know why he asked the obvious question, but his heart pounded in his chest, and he couldn’t think properly. He’d wanted Phillip to return that way every night for weeks, but he also feared it. His desire for his friend fought with the worry. He’d never been with a man before, but the thought of having Phillip so close… he wanted it more than just about anything.
Phillip’s breath mingled with his as he whispered, “I used the tunnel.”
Shane brushed his lips across Phillip’s before trailing kisses down his jaw. “I told you people would accept us.”
With a finger under his chin, Phillip raised his face back up to see him. “Thank you.”
Shane nodded and kissed him again. He would remind Phillip as often as it took that the people loved him.
Just as he did.
He hadn’t been able to say it before, but he knew the truth. For weeks, he’d hesitated telling Phillip how he felt. He’d hesitated with taking this too far. But as he sat here, pulling Phillip closer, the fear from before dissipated.
If he couldn’t speak the words, he could at least show Phillip how much he meant to him.
And as he fell back to the mattress, he dragged Phillip down with him, planning to do just that.
“You’re sure you don’t mind?” Shane asked.
Melanie shook her head. “Of course not.”
“Mrs. Lavens said she’ll stop in from time to time and bring Carys.” Shane shifted the little boy in his arms who hadn’t left his side since breakfast—since Shane and Phillip told the three children they were leaving. Kal laid his head on Shane’s shoulder and tightened his hold around his neck.
Shane would do anything to keep them from going back to an orphanage. Even though he barely knew them, the thought of them going somewhere like that twisted his stomach.
“I know. We discussed it last night before she left.” Melanie patted Shane’s arm in understanding and moved to a chair.
He looked at the two small girls sitting on either side of Adalina on the floor. The Nihryst book sat open in his sister’s lap, and though she kept a smile in place as she told them the true story of Loxley and his crew—leaving out the more gruesome parts—something in her eyes had shifted. For weeks, he’d seen her upset, angry at everyone and everything. This was different. This was more than heartbreak.
It was resignation, and that terrified Shane.
Lee entered the room with Phillip following. Both had spent most of the day preparing to leave. Phillip met his gaze and nodded. It was time.
Lee strode in and knelt before the girls on the floor. When Carys looked from the book to Adalina to the pirate, she gasped and jumped to her feet. “You’re him!” She grabbed the lone, remaining card—the others had faded when the curse broke—and held it up. “But this doesn’t look very much like you.”
Laughing, Lee took the card from her outstretched hand. “They could never get it right.”
“You know,” Phillip said with a grin, “she figured that out way faster than you, Ada.”
Adalina narrowed her eyes, standing with Lee’s help.
“We never got to sword fight,” Carys said, still staring at Lee in awe.
“Next time.” Something flashed in his sea-green eyes—the same look that haunted Adalina.
When Lee tried to take Kal from Shane’s arms, the boy wouldn’t budge. Karey ran over and hugged his leg. A lump formed in Shane’s throat. He didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to leave them. Somehow, they’d burrowed into his life, and he couldn’t bear the thought of hurting them more.
Shane squatted down to her level. Before he could figure out the words to say, Kal whispered, “Will you come back?”
The words crushed him. He wanted to promise them he would, but he didn’t want to lie. There was no way of knowing what the stars had planned for him. Instead, Shane said, “I will do everything in my power to come back to you.”
Kal sniffed and then relaxed his hold. He leaned away enough for Shane to see the big tears filling his eyes. That sense of foreboding crept into Shane’s mind, returning in full force. He’d had a bit of reprieve last night as he lost himself in Phillip’s touch, but it hadn’t been enough. At this point, he was beginning to think nothing would ever fully rid him of this feeling of despair. But he forced a smile onto his face to finish his goodbyes.
“Be good for Melanie,” Shane said, setting Kal down and kissing the top of both their heads.
He stood and turned away, trying to hide his own emotions. But there was Phillip, waiting with Carys in his arms. Without hesitating, Phillip moved closer and took his hand. Shane heard Lee and Adalina saying goodbye behind him.
“Come on,” Phillip whispered, pulling him toward the door. The plan was to take Carys home on the way to the docks and meet everyone at the ship. Against a lot of advice, Shane had decided to travel with the Nihryst overseas. He was tired of separating from Adalina and Phillip. If they were going to war, they’d all go together—just like they faced everything in life.
The carriage ride was quiet, and the visit with Mrs. Lavens and Carys was short. Too short.
“At least I got a goodbye this time,” Mrs. Lavens teased, clearly trying to ease the tension and hold it together. Phillip ducked his head with a mumbled apology. He had indeed chased after Adalina and the Nihryst twice now without a word to her beforehand. She glanced from one of them to the other. “Take care of each other.”
They headed toward the door, and when she went to hug Phillip one more time, Shane leaned down to Carys. He kissed the si
de of her blond curls as she wrapped her arms around him.
“I do,” he whispered.
She leaned back, her brow scrunched in confusion.
“I love him.”
A bright smile spread across her face, and she hugged him again.
Chapter 14
Loxley
“Everyone?” Lee shook his head in disbelief.
“Just because we’re no longer cursed doesn’t mean we’re not still part of this,” George said. He and Brienne had ventured up to the castle to relay that the ship was ready to go.
“You’re still our captain.” Brienne shrugged. “We’re still your crew.”
Lee looked down at his feet. When Brienne had said she’d give his men the option, he hadn’t expected them all to go. At his side, Ada squeezed his hand. She kissed his cheek before looping an arm through George’s and leading him down the hall toward the castle entrance doors, as if knowing Lee needed a moment alone with his second.
“We’re in this together,” Brienne said in a hushed tone, grief filling her eyes.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “For everything… I’m just—I’m so sorry.”
Brienne turned to stare at him for a long second before reaching for him. He couldn’t remember the last time they’d hugged, but he didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around her. Though many of his memories of before the curse blurred in his mind, he remembered first meeting this daughter of a merchant. He’d found her bleeding in an alley with her partner.
“Do you remember the first thing you ever said to me?” he asked.
She let out a noise that sounded somewhere between a snort and a scoff. “That was a hundred and thirty years ago. No, I don’t.”
Stepping away, he looked toward the door. “It was something along the lines of, ‘You’ve taken my weapons, clothes, and my money; why are you staring at me like I’ve just killed your best friend? I’m clearly harmless right now.’”
He sighed, resting against the nearby wall. Brienne moved to his side but stayed quiet. She’d know which part of that first encounter stuck out to him now. Ren was their third—their friend. For so long, Lee had become the moody, closed-off pirate people expected him to be, leaving the two of them to grow close.
He’d killed her best friend.
Brienne slipped a hand around his arm and rested her head against his shoulder. “He was the best of us.”
“He was.” Lee nodded.
“All he’d ever wanted was to regain his honor. He wanted to fight for something worthy—for someone worthy.”
Lee’s first encounter with the former soldier had also been while he lay bleeding in the streets. The Captain of the Guard at the time had run him through with his sword when Ren revealed his plan to marry the man’s sister. And that she was already with child. Captain Jensi had left Ren to die and dragged the screaming girl away. Lee saved Ren’s life with the guidance of two young Thanti healers—Ren’s sisters he’d searched for since their village was attacked a decade earlier.
In the end, Ren had stayed with his sisters, helping Lee steal goods for those in need throughout the kingdom, and the woman he loved married a prince on the other side of the world. By the time the Nihryst were cursed and forced to fight alongside the Detmaryan army, Captain Jensi was dead. Ren never got his revenge or closure. He never got to see the woman again or meet his child.
Lee and Brienne watched Ada disappear outside. The crew loved and respected her. None of them questioned her command, and it wasn’t because she was a princess. She had an innate ability to get people to listen to her and want to do as she said. She made people believe.
“He did find someone,” Lee said. From the beginning, Ren had fought for Ada. He argued to take her to Cyfrin and tell her the truth. He was the first to demand they return to Detmarya to help her defeat her father.
Lee straightened, an idea forming.
“I know that look,” Brienne said. “Whatever ridiculous plan you’ve just made, think it all the way through first.”
“There isn’t time…” When he narrowed his eyes at her, the corner of her mouth ticked up.
“Then, at least let me help you.”
“I need you to head down to the docks with Ada and the others. Tell her I will be right behind.”
“She’s going to want to come after you.”
Letting out a breath, he couldn’t help but smile. “I know. Ask her to make sure everything is set to go; keep her busy until I get there.”
“Please don’t make me regret this.” Brienne put a hand on his arm for a second before walking toward the door when a thought occurred to him.
“Wait!”
She turned back.
He glanced around, ensuring no one stood too close. “You know your way around the tunnels, right?”
Lee jogged up the gangway, happy to see his crew ready to leave. George raised a brow in suspicion but kept quiet as he moved below deck. The familiar sounds of the busy docks sent an unfamiliar surge of nerves through him. They were heading into war again, but this time, his men and women weren’t immortal. It was foolish to think they’d all make it out of this unscathed, and that thought didn’t sit well in his gut.
“Where were you?”
With one foot on the steps up to the wheel, he turned to face his favorite fiery redhead. She stood with her fists on her hips, and he wanted nothing more than to kiss the worry lines and frown away.
He moved to her in two long strides, wrapped a hand around her waist, and pulled her to him. It was only after a brief pause that she returned his kiss in full. Someone shouted at them to save it for his cabin, but he didn’t care. He held her tight, lifting her off the ground as her lips parted, letting him in.
When a throat cleared a few feet away with more determination, he lowered her and broke the kiss. He left his arms around her but looked over to find an amused Phillip and a scowling king. Shane crossed his arms, and in that movement, Lee already regretted agreeing to let them sail over with him. He only had three days left with Ada before they reached the shores of Rayerna and what was sure to be a bloody battle. He didn’t want to spend it tiptoeing around her brother.
Lee kissed the side of Ada’s temple before excusing himself and heading up the few stairs to where Brienne stood at the wheel issuing out orders.
At the smirk she sent him, he hissed, “Oh, hush.”
“This is going to be fun,” she said with a chuckle.
“Do me a favor?” He ignored her and pointed a thumb over his shoulder. “Show them down to their cabin so I don’t have to?”
“Scared of the mortal king?”
“Your Majesty!” a voice called out from the docks. Lee turned to watch as one of the guards from the castle raced onto the ship and pulled Shane aside. The king’s face paled with the delivered message, and Lee’s grip tightened on the rail.
Lee took Brienne’s spot at the wheel as she passed him toward the stairs. Looking from Adalina to Shane and back, he whispered, “Terrified.”
Chapter 15
Shane
The crystal blue water sparkled in the high afternoon sun. Shane closed his eyes, inhaling the fresh air. After so many months in the castle, he had missed the freedom the open sea provided. The guard who’d shown up with news was far behind them now, but Shane couldn’t get his words out of his head. He tried to focus on the battle ahead instead, watching as waves lapped at the sides of the ship.
“I get it,” he whispered as footsteps approached. “I understand why Ada keeps leaving.”
Phillip chuckled and rested against the ship’s rail beside him. “It still scares her, but I think the sea finally grew on her.”
Shane turned to lean one hip against the wooden barrier while crossing his arms. “No, it’s not the water she loves. It’s the openness—the possibilities.”
“The pirates,” Phillip added, his mouth twitching up on one side.
A laugh escaped the king, and he faced the ocean once more. “I’m sure th
at’s a big factor.”
His smile fell as he watched the short waves passing by. Rayerna was less than a three-day journey, and they’d already sailed through one night and most of the next morning. Several ships left port, spread out to approach the coast at different angles. Some were still gathering citizens willing to fight. Even Gwyn hadn’t left with her people yet, but she’d confirmed before he boarded that they’d follow as soon as possible.
But it wasn’t enough. Too soon, they’d reach the shores of their enemies vastly outnumbered.
No. Enemy.
Shane didn’t want to fight the entire kingdom, though he knew a battle was coming.
“It’s all right to be scared, you know.” Phillip placed a hand over his on the rail as he stepped closer.
Shane wanted nothing more than to reach over and kiss him, but the moment was over too soon. Phillip removed his hand and put some distance between them. Men and women worked around them, not paying attention to them, but they were still surrounded.
“When all this is over,” Shane whispered near Phillip’s ear as he walked behind him to head to the helm, “I’m done hiding. I’ll kiss you in front of the damned whole world; I don’t care.”
“Shane…”
But Shane was already walking away with a smile. Phillip greatly underestimated the love his people had for him—the respect the soldiers had for their captain. There were no laws against them being together. Save for Shane’s duty to produce heirs, nothing said he had to marry a woman. If Adalina didn’t want children, which he knew she did one day, they’d figure it out.
Besides, some of the crew already knew about them. Lee had been there when Gwyn blurted out the reason for Phillip’s jealousy months ago, and Shane was sure Brienne knew by now. So, he didn’t fully understand why they were still hiding on this ship of friends, not fellow guards.