Through Each Other's Eyes

by Aleena Ashe

  Elizabeth waited a moment, then continued, “Charles, I’m afraid I must ask you for a favor.”

  “You could not have picked a better time! I think I’d be willing to do almost anything at the moment, my spirits are so high!”

  “I need you to speak to Caroline for me. You and I both know that I hold no affection for her beyond that afforded to her as your sister. However, her attentions toward myself are becoming impossible to ignore. I am afraid that assumptions may be made that will be damaging to both our reputations. Could you not try to find her a suitable husband? I am sure you will not want her living with you when you are married and she will soon not want to live with Louisa.”

  “Not want to live with Louisa? What makes you say that?”

  “Er, well. I overheard Louisa telling Caroline that she and Mr. Hurst are expecting. I am sorry you found out from me. I am sure she will tell you any day now.”

  “Expecting? Darcy, that is fabulous! You have given me one more reason to celebrate tonight!” But seeing the panicked look on Darcy’s face he stopped. “Don’t worry, I will pretend I do not know! She will never know you were eavesdropping,” he teased.

  “I was not eavesdropping! They came into the library where I was reading and they didn’t see me. The conversation was clearly very personal and I could not reveal myself without embarrassing them.”

  “I jest! It hardly matters to me. I am to be an uncle! But, to your earlier question… I have also noticed that of late, Caroline’s ‘attentions’ to you have become more marked. I will speak with her, encourage her to look elsewhere. I have had a few gentlemen express interest in her but I am not even sure she will look at them until you are off the market!” Rounding back to his earlier question, “Any plans in that area, old friend?”

  “I… I can’t say.” Trying to think of any other subject to divert attention from herself, she sputtered, “For now, I would be content to not be pursued.” The carriage rolled to a stop. “Congratulations, Charles. I am very happy for you but, I think will go to bed and allow you the joy of telling your sisters the good news… alone.”

  Bingley rolled his eyes good naturedly, “Coward.” Then called up the steps after Darcy, “Early ride tomorrow? Then maybe a visit to Longbourn?”

  Smiling to herself, “Of course, Charles. Goodnight!”

  A few minutes later from the safety of Darcy’s room, Elizabeth heard what she could only assume was Caroline’s reaction to the news. There was a crash of a glass on the floor followed by an argument. Elizabeth could not hear what was said with one major exception. As Bingley left the drawing room, he turned and shouted, “Caroline, I will not hear another word against Miss Bennet or her family or you will be sent to live with Aunt Matilda in Scotland!” Then she heard another door slam and all was quiet.

  *****

  Elizabeth slept soundly most nights but tonight she could not seem to fall asleep. It was clearly very late. The house was dark and quiet. Wanting a book but knowing she could not risk running into Caroline alone, she decided to have a look around Darcy’s room. Though it had been over a week, she had resisted the urge to explore very much because she didn’t want to ‘snoop’. However, now she had little choice if she hoped to find something to help her rest.

  Once out of bed, Elizabeth realized it was actually quite cold in the room. The fire was only a little low but it shouldn’t be so breezy. Upon closer inspection, she found the door to the balcony was cracked open slightly. How had that occurred? She quickly took a cursory look around to make sure she was alone (as far as she knew the others were downstairs). Once satisfied that she was alone, she shut and locked the door, then checked all the windows as well. Putting on Darcy’s robe to fight off the chill, she resumed her exploration. Without thought, she curled the robe around her and inhaled the masculine scent, his scent. Catching herself, she felt a little embarrassed but reasoned that she just liked the smell of sandalwood. It was couldn’t because it smelled like Mr. Darcy. Could it?

  As she searched the shelves for something to read, nothing caught her attention until… she saw the thick, leather bound journal sitting on the shelf near the desk. It may not be his. It could be anyone’s; maybe it belonged to an ancient lord who lived at Netherfield once upon a time. She picked it up and opened it. On the first page written in a beautiful, feminine hand it read:

  My beloved son,

  “Let love and faithfulness never leave you;

  bind them around your neck,

  write them on the tablet of your heart.

  Then you will win favor and a good name

  in the sight of God and man.”

  Proverbs 3:3-4

  With all my love,

  Mother

  Torn between curiosity and not wanting to invade his privacy (for in her heart she knew to whom it must belong), she almost put it back three times. However, she finally managed to convince herself - with the help of the brandy she had enjoyed earlier - that, if it was his, it might contain some very useful information. If she was supposed to act as Mr. Darcy would act, it would certainly be helpful to know how he thought. Her conscience ate at her a bit. “It will serve me right if I learn something awful.” Ignoring the still, small voice in the back of her mind, she settled back into the bed to read.

  The first entries were sparse and rather short; they mostly told tales of the adventures young boys in Derbyshire. But flipping through the pages she arrived at some longer entries. As she read, her heart ached.

  These were the words of a young man in despair as he watched his mother succumb to illness. He poured his heart out on paper and Elizabeth could not stop herself from reading as he described his father’s rapid descent into a deep depression. While Mr. Darcy, the elder, did not die for many years, it was clear that the son felt very much alone but for Georgiana. She became the joy of young Darcy’s life and he clearly worked hard to take care of her.

  By the time she read of his father’s death, Elizabeth was in tears. No wonder Mr. Darcy was so serious; so much had depended on him for so long. “Stupid, insolent girl. How you have misjudged him,” she chided herself. She soon came across his most recent entries and stopped, afraid of what she might read.

  She set the journal aside. ‘It is one thing to read of the past. But it would be even more wrong to read of current events and people.’ She tried to convince herself that she was not afraid to read his words about her, but she knew better. That was the crux of the issue. They had both changed due to their ‘situation’. She would not want him knowing her former thoughts about him and so, she would not read his thoughts about her.

  With her resolve firm, she laid back and fell asleep. Her dreams were filled with the stories she had read, happy and sad. But this time, she was present in them, as herself, and there to comfort him. Suddenly the dreams changed. They were no longer of the past, they were of the future. She saw herself large with child, walking through a meadow hand in hand with her Mr. Darcy. He stopped and pulled her to him but as he bent his head to kiss her, everything changed again. Suddenly, it was not Mr. Darcy but Mr. Wickham that was holding her and kissing her! She clawed and pushed but she could not move him. She tried to scream but no sound came.

  Looking around, frantically searching for help, she saw Miss Bingley. She reached out to her, imploring her. But Caroline just laughed. When she thought it could not be worse, Mr. Darcy took Caroline’s hand and they walked away, talking and laughing as lovers do. It was then that Elizabeth noticed Caroline was large with child, while she no longer was.

  Elizabeth sat bolt upright in bed. It took a moment to find her equilibrium but once she did she drew in a deep sigh of relief. “What could it mean?” Wickham had not been seen around town much since his character had become known to Mr. Bennet. In fact, he had not been welcomed anywhere in society due to Mr. Bennet’s words - combined with increasing debt among local merchants. “Why should he figure in my dream?”

  Elizabeth knew why Caroline had been there. But the m
ost disturbing idea was that Caroline had somehow won Mr. Darcy over and stolen the life Elizabeth was meant to have. Wait, was that the life Elizabeth was meant to have? She could not deny how right it had felt walking with him, being in his arms, even carrying his child. She could no longer pretend, “I am in love with Mr. Darcy.”

  But knowing you are in love and knowing what to do about it are two very different animals. This time when Elizabeth went back to sleep, she did not dream. But she did not rest easy either.

  Chapter 16

  Darcy

  The shopping trip had been postponed the previous day to celebrate the happy news of Jane and Bingley’s courtship. However today, nothing would deter them - especially since in Mrs. Bennet’s mind - she had a wedding to plan for. “It’s never too early to start ordering items for your trousseau, Jane dear. Oh, I knew you could not be so beautiful for nothing!”

  As the ladies walked to Meryton, the gentlemen would be fishing so there was no hurry to be back for anything until the afternoon. The ladies discussed what would need to be purchased. Occasionally Lydia had to be subtly reminded who they had devised this plan to benefit because she would become engrossed in what ribbons she needed for herself. While Mary, for whom the trip had been secretly planned, seemed resigned to the idea that if they must all have some new things, she would make sure to pick out the most practical items she could. The others were focused on the plan but feigned interest in their upcoming purchases. Well, all except Darcy. Try as he might he couldn’t help but think that he may in fact have to purchase intimate garments for Elizabeth. Today would be torture and he would try not to enjoy every minute of it.

  They arrived at the modiste at the appointed hour and began to discuss the necessary purchases. The younger girls would be getting a few basics, a new chemisette or pair of stockings. Jane, Elizabeth, of course Mary would need all new under clothes and each would get one new dress as it had been far too long and none of theirs fit the latest fashions. Mrs. Bennet exclaimed, “How am I to find them suitable husbands if they do not look their best!”

  So it was that what was meant to be a simple outing for Mary, turned into a full blown shopping extravaganza. Each young lady was taken through a slew of fashion plates and fabrics and allowed to pick their favorite (moderately priced) pattern. Darcy thought to himself that once they were married, Elizabeth would have her choice of fashions - no matter the cost. It never occurred to him that he was getting rather far ahead of himself.

  Once the patterns were picked out, each lady was ushered into a dressing area to be fitted. Darcy stood there, unmoving. When Mrs. Bennet saw him just standing there she said, “Come on young lady, we don’t have all day.” Then she started helping Elizabeth disrobe. Moments later Darcy stood there, in her undergarments and stockings looking in the mirror of the curtained off little room waiting for his turn to be fitted.

  Yes, this day will be bittersweet torture. Just then, Mrs. Bennet returned - he had not even noticed she’d left - with a new pair of stockings, corset, and shift. “Here, put these on so they can measure you when they are done with Jane.” Then just as quickly, she left again to take similar items to Mary. There was nothing else but to do as she said. So one by one he removed the old, cotton stockings he had carefully put on only this morning.

  He picked up the new stockings. These too were simple cotton and Darcy longed for the day when he could give Elizabeth the best. He took a stocking in his hand and slowly slid it up her leg and onto her thigh, fastening the garters in place; then the other. Looking in the mirror he imagined Elizabeth dressing in their room at Pemberley.

  Next, he removed her the corset and shift to replace them with the new ones. Before he did however, he stopped arrested by the sight of her, naked except for the aforementioned stockings. It took his breath away. She was so beautiful and alluring. Just as he reverently reached up to touch her skin, he heard Mrs. Bennet rustling toward the room. He quickly put on the rest of the undergarments left by Mrs. Bennet and turned toward the door.

  Noting the flush of Lizzy’s skin and the almost confused look in her eyes, Mrs. Bennet became concerned. “Are you quite alright child? You look unwell.”

  “No Mama, I … I think I just need some air. Perhaps once I have been fitted, I can step outside whilst you and Jane attend to Mary?”

  Almost absentmindedly, Mrs. Bennet, who had already begun draping fabrics across Elizabeth, said, “I’m sure that will be fine.” Then she grumbled, “You are just here to further the plan, anyway. You should be grateful to Jane for convincing me of this little scheme. I know it was probably all your idea, young lady. Let us hope it works.”

  ‘Yes, let us hope indeed,’ he thought to himself.

  ******

  Darcy stepped out of the shop almost an hour later, promising he would just run across the way to the general store and return shortly. Walking alone and deep in thought, Darcy was quite surprised to be joined by George Wickham.

  “Good afternoon, Miss Elizabeth. You are looking well.”

  Darcy did not acknowledge Wickham hoping he would go away. However, to his surprise, Wickham kept a jovial countenance but very quietly sneered, “Do you not know that your father’s lies have made me a pariah? I had thought we were becoming quite good friends.” His tone insinuated much more than friendship. Moving so that he blocked her path without appearing overtly threatening to others, he added, “Is this is how you treat your friends, Miss Elizabeth? By spreading rumors? Perhaps I need to teach you some manners. I think I would quite like that!”

  Darcy looked around, noting that no one was in earshot but that all it would take was a loud shriek to bring them running. He turned to Wickham and pointed Elizabeth’s dainty finger into his chest. “I think you have mistaken me for someone else Lt. Wickham. You seem to think I am fooled by your false charm. You may have the appearance of a gentleman but you are nothing more than a degenerate gambler and a rake! If you are foolish enough to approach me or my sisters again, I will happily make you like one of our steers at Longbourn. I am not shrinking violet, Lt. Wickham. Now I suggest you move.”

  Wickham was so stunned, he did as he was commanded. Without another word, Darcy lifted his chin and walked with purpose toward his destination. ‘How dare that bounder approach, much less threaten, her! This will not be born. I have dealt with his malicious behavior long enough.’ How he would do it, he was not sure but he would be rid of Wickham for good this time. ‘I cannot allow him to hurt anyone else.’

  *****

  Returning to the modiste less than 20 minutes later, Darcy felt sufficiently composed. He found Jane and Kitty looking at some reticule patterns and enquired as to the success with Mary. “Has she found anything she likes? I truly hope she is enjoying herself.”

  “Actually,” Jane replied looking around to make sure she was not overheard, “Mama has been fawning over poor Mary and I think she is unsure how to handle it. Now that Mama sees her as the next Mistress of Longbourn, she seems to have developed a fondness for her.”

  “I must say, the last pattern she tried only needed a very little tailoring to be quite fetching. I think if she will let us sweep her hair away from her face and put maybe a touch of rouge she will really be quite pretty.” Kitty spoke rather animatedly, using hand gestures to illustrate the cut of the dress and how she’d like to fashion Mary’s hair.

  Kitty’s excitement caught Lydia’s eye from across the room and she decided to join in the conversation. “She will never be beautiful as my Jane (imitating Mrs. Bennet with surprising accuracy) but she looks a sight better than before!”

  “Lydia, that is uncharitable of you! Everyone has their own beauty. You would do well to focus less on outer appearances. Mary’s already developed her inner beauty, now we are just helping her match it on the outside,” Jane admonished.

  The three ladies spent another 30 minutes talking and accessorizing their new outfits. It would be at least a week before the dresses would be done. However, they would begi
n re-trimming their bonnets as soon as they got home. Suddenly Darcy realized that he was utterly incapable of trimming a bonnet. Perhaps he could sneak some of the needed materials out with him on his walks and then Elizabeth could teach him some basics when they met. Ha! If Georgie could see him now!

  Chapter 17

  Elizabeth

  Elizabeth woke with the sun despite a considerable lack of sleep. She had planned to meet Darcy early for another tete-a-tete but she knew that he and her sisters would be shopping today. So instead, Elizabeth decided to go for a ride because that is what Darcy would likely have done. If she got nervous riding, she could always just walk beside Hector or let him graze while she read.

  On her way to the stable she noticed some of the maids scurrying about taking hot bricks, extra blankets, as well as a carafe of hot tea to Miss Bingley’s room. Elizabeth was not particularly concerned but nevertheless thought it best ask after her health, just in case. Keep your friends close… she thought to herself.

  She was hurriedly informed that Caroline had somehow managed to lock herself out on her balcony last night - very late - and had not been discovered for almost an hour when her maid came to stoke the fire in her room. They “would not be surprised if she caught her death out there.” What no one could figure out was why Caroline had been out so late and how she managed to get locked out.