Through Each Other's Eyes

by Aleena Ashe

  Elizabeth was horrified to realize that Caroline must have known that Darcy’s balcony was unlocked. But how would she have gotten to from hers to his? There was no easy way to climb in. No, she must have been planning to sneak into Darcy’s room before he went up to bed but then Elizabeth had gone to bed early and ruined that option. Had Caroline been outside looking for another way in? How would she have known his door had been left unlocked? She must have help from someone who has access to both rooms. But who?

  Remembering the other events of last night, Elizabeth felt a little ashamed of herself for having read Darcy’s journal. She had let the few drinks she had had after dinner affect her. But she also could not deny that a part of her was glad she had read it. For now she understood Mr. Darcy on a deeper level. She just hoped he wouldn’t be too angry with her. She would have to tell him. She just didn’t know how. Now that she understood her own feelings, every interaction with Mr. Darcy meant more.

  Arriving at the stable, she exchanged pleasantries with Henry as he readied Hector. “Good morning, Henry. How are the horses treating you?”

  “Oh fine, Sir! No place I’d rather be than out here with these four-legged beasts. Me sister, she’s a maid up at the house and she thinks herself so high and mighty because she thinks she’s going to work her way up to ladies’ maid someday. But not me, I already have the best job. I’m out of doors, exercising these brutes….”

  Elizabeth lost track of Henry’s ramblings. She hadn’t realized his sister, Jeana, worked at Netherfield. Perhaps she would be of some help? But how to approach her? It would have been awkward to have done so as herself, much more so as Mr. Darcy. What would a gentlemen like him need to speak with a maid for? She’d have to keep an eye out for opportunities to do so without making anyone suspicious.

  As she rode away toward the open fields on the far side of the estate, Elizabeth thought she saw a man sneaking away from the kitchen entrance. It was still quite early for deliveries to be made but perhaps it was one of the gardeners running late and hoping to avoid detection. Or it could be a lover of one of the servants. Either way, perhaps she ought to say something to Mr. Bingley. Oh how she wished she could just go home!

  *******

  Elizabeth spent the morning riding, slowly, across the countryside, deep in thought. So much had changed in world in the short time since the Netherfield Ball. She now knew - beyond a shadow of a doubt - that she had misjudged both Mr. Darcy and Lt. Wickham. The men had more than reversed roles in her mind. For even at the height of her disdain for Mr. Darcy - when she thought he had mistreated Lt. Wickham, she never once considered him to be so wholly corrupt as she now knew Lt. Wickham to be. “How could I have ever considered having feelings for Wickham?”

  The problem she now faced was, even if she told Mr. Darcy of her feelings (ridiculous), there was no guarantee he would feel the same way. He had certainly been flirting with her yesterday but perhaps it was just the odd situation they were in that was causing him to pay her these attentions. Despite his protests to the contrary, she was quite certain he had not always held her in the esteem he seemed to now. He may think her pretty but that did not mean he thought she was a suitable choice to make his wife.

  After some time, she turned Hector back toward Netherfield. She still found that the clean, crisp air of the country helped clear her mind better than anything else and she would need to be at her best for today’s excursion. Darcy, Bingley, and Hurst were going to go fishing with her father at her favorite lake on Longbourn.

  Her father knew her better than anyone in the world, save Jane, and she was not sure she would be able to fool him for an extended period of time. Fortunately, the idea of Mr. Darcy in fact, not being Mr. Darcy would probably never cross his mind. He might, however, begin to think something was amiss and she didn’t want to do anything to harm Jane and Bingley’s chance at happiness - or further cause her father to dislike Mr. Darcy.

  She knew she’d done some damage to Mr. Darcy’s reputation with her father after the assembly. Now she hoped that she could make him see that she’d been mistaken and that Mr. Darcy was, in fact, an honorable man. Today, her mission would be to do just that.

  *******

  Upon her return, Elizabeth found that Mr. Bingley and Mr. Hurst were almost ready to depart for their fishing expedition. “Sorry gentlemen, I must have lost track of the time. I will be down shortly.” Then she took the stairs two at a time (a simple act of freedom that her mother did not allow because it was not ‘lady-like’).

  The gentlemen had planned to meet at the lake. Mr. Bennet and Mr. Collins were already there when the Netherfield party arrived but Mr. Bennet quickly waved away all attempts at apologies for being late. “I like getting the lay of the land before I start, so I arrived early.”

  Throughout the morning and early afternoon, the gentlemen vacillated between silent contemplation and easy small talk. The beauty of fishing is that one only has to talk when and if they desire to and, often, silence is preferred. Mr. Bennet had directed for luncheon to be served outside and so when the servants arrived with baskets of cucumber sandwiches, biscuits, tarts, sweet meats and carafes of hot, lemon tea the men eagerly gathered around the picnic blankets.

  Elizabeth, wanting to maintain a friendly banter, asked after everyone’s success? “Mr. Bennet? Are the fish biting for you, Sir? I thought I spied you stripping the line for a rather large trout earlier?”

  A gentle smile graced Mr. Bennet’s face. “Ah, yes! I have a caught a couple good sized fish but the catch of the day for me will likely be the last one I managed to reel in. He was easily 18 inches!”

  Mr. Collins spoke up, extolling the virtues of fishing even though he had not managed to catch a single fish. “Perhaps there is a problem with my equipment.”

  Elizabeth had to look away and stifle a laugh, for there was indeed much wrong with Mr. Collins’ equipment. So much so that she doubted he had ever been fishing before.

  Attempting to redirect the conversation, Bingley interjected, “Wow, that’s a marvelous catch! And I thought I had caught the trophy of the day at a mere 15 inches! How did you lot manage?” Bingley asked looking from Mr. Darcy to Mr. Hurst.

  Hurst joked that while he had caught a handful, they were all fairly small but would taste just fine sautéed with a little lemon and butter!”

  “And you, Mr. Darcy? How have you fared today?” Mr. Bennet asked. Elizabeth noticed that Mr. Bennet had watched her carefully most of the morning and figured he must be trying to better understand Mr. Darcy. She hoped he was coming to a positive conclusion.

  “Well, Sir. I had a little trouble early on. I am sure you could not have failed to see me get my line snagged a couple times.” They all chuckled for they had seen Darcy lose more than one hook. But if he was willing to acknowledge it with good humor, they felt safe to laugh. “However, I did manage to land a couple keepers.”

  After tea, they fished for another hour or so before deciding to head back to Longbourn. The ladies should be back soon and Mr. Bennet decided to invite the party to stay for dinner. “I hear there may be fresh fish on the menu,” he said with a wink.

  Mr. Hurst thanked Mr. Bennet for the wonderful fishing but had to beg forgiveness for not being able to join the party for a meal. He then announced that, “Mrs. Hurst and I are expecting and she has not been feeling well on account of the babe. I’d like to go check in on her. Especially since Caroline is under the weather, I don’t want her to eat alone.”

  This of course met with some gentle teasing but, in truth, they all would have made the same decision if in his place - and said so. Then they all gave their congratulations and bid him good day. Elizabeth was again moved to hear the men express such a sweet sentiments.

  By the time the fishing party made it back to the house, the ladies had indeed returned. As the men entered the parlor, the ladies were clearly in raptures over their purchases. Mary had even let Kitty do her hair and Elizabeth thought she looked quite pretty. She noti
ced that as soon as Mr. Collins walked in the room, Mary blushed a little but made eye contact with him nonetheless and he walked over and greeted her. While there was no obvious flirting, it was encouraging to see the interaction between the two and the fact that he had barely given Elizabeth a glance.

  Jane and Bingley had immediately moved to a corner of the room to talk quietly, Kitty and Lydia were still gushing over ribbons, so that made it very easy for Elizabeth to join Darcy who, she noticed, had conveniently sat in the window seat again - far enough to be out of earshot of others without appearing to desire privacy.

  Elizabeth laughed quietly when she saw what Darcy had been working on. His (or rather her) fingers were bloodied a little from needles and her bonnet was in tatters. “Fortunately that was already my least favorite bonnet.” She said with a smile.

  Darcy grinned in return, relieved. “Oh please, take pity on me and lend me your expert opinion. Where am I going wrong?”

  “Oh, where to begin?” Taking the bonnet in hand, she examined his attempts. “Well first of all, you’re using the wrong thread. You need a heavier thread so that it will hold up in the wind.”

  “Do you think… would it be too much to ask to meet me tomorrow in the copse so we can work on it?” He asked, his tone full of hope.

  “I think it may be the only way to save the bonnet!” She smiled and they both laughed quietly, hoping not to attract attention. But it was too late for Mr. Bennet had been quietly observing them both since the dinner at Lucas Lodge. He had to admit, he liked Darcy well enough and it was clear Elizabeth had changed her opinion of him. But was this the man who would claim the heart of his favorite child? If so, he had to be sure of his character.

  Chapter 18

  Darcy

  Darcy awoke feeling awful. He felt lethargic and irritable. As he gathered his things to meet Elizabeth, he could think of no reason why he should be under the weather. He was just about to head down stairs when he felt it, he felt… wet? ‘Oh for the love of all that is good and holy, please don’t let this be what I think it is.’

  He walked over to his dressing table, picked up the hand towel and - with no small amount of dread and embarrassment - wiped… down there. Inspecting towel, his fears were confirmed. But Elizabeth had said it would be weeks before her menses returned. Now he was sure this whole situation was a cosmic joke. He had somehow offended the gods and was now paying the price.

  After doing his best to clean up quickly, he began to look around for Elizabeth’s feminine cloths. At least, he hoped she’d have some readily available for those were the only thing he was familiar with (because that is what Mrs. Reynolds had given Georgie to use a few years ago). “Ah ha! Found them!”

  Taking a napkin in his hand he turned it over. ‘Why is there a string attached?’ Then he saw the belt like contraption sitting next to the cloths. It appeared, that to hold the cloth in place when one attached it to the belt with the strings. That had to be it.

  After a few minutes of arranging and rearranging, Darcy was sure it was still not right. But as everyone else was still asleep, it would have to do until he could locate the book Elizabeth had spoken of. Grabbing an extra cloth, or two (how many of these are needed?), he put them in his reticule and he went downstairs. On his way out, he stopped by the kitchen and grabbed a biscuit and an apple, then added another biscuit.

  Walking toward the copse, Darcy couldn’t help but be a little sad. He had originally planned to tell Elizabeth of his feelings. But now, it just didn’t feel right. He felt foolish. It was not like anything had changed. He still loved her beyond what he thought possible and he hoped that she felt - if not the love - growing affection for him. The other day they had been so close. His stomach fluttered just remembering it.

  But today, he felt like he would just bungle it if he tried to tell her how he felt. Not to mention, he felt utterly unattractive. Which he knew to be ridiculous because, objectively, Elizabeth was as beautiful as ever. ‘Is this how women feel every month?’ He hadn’t had any of the intense physical pain he had often heard of and he prayed to God for mercy. Was this meant to make him a better brother, husband, father; develop empathy? While he could not imagine a more effective method, he could certainly think of less dramatic ones.

  Rounding the last bend in the path, he saw her. She looked deep in thought, pacing back and forth. Hector heard him before she did and bristled, alerting Elizabeth to his presence. When their eyes met, she smiled.

  “Good morning, Sir. Did you bring the bonnet? I have some ideas that I believe may salvage it.”

  He smiled and returned her greeting, “Ah yes. I did.” Still smiling he handed her the bonnet then he set down the small bag of ribbons and sewing tools on the picnic blanket she had already spread. There was an awkward silence as they both sat. Darcy got out the food he had brought so Elizabeth did the same.

  After another minute, she asked, “Mr. Darcy, is everything alright? You seem… distracted.”

  Grimacing he said nothing for a moment. Then he decided there was no reason to hide his situation from her. A little embarrassed, he said, “Well, actually Miss Elizabeth, it seems will be the first man in history to have the FULL female experience.”

  She looked at him for a minute before it dawned on her what he meant. Then, despite considerable effort, uncontrollable laughter burst forth. Still laughing, “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to laugh, it’s just that… women have always wished that just once a man would have to suffer through what we do! It seems, our wishes have come true.”

  Darcy sat there, chagrined but not upset. “Lucky me.”

  “Oh you poor dear! Did you find the supplies you need? “

  He patted the reticule beside him. “May I ask what I can expect? It is clear that I will be irritable and feel a general malaise.”

  “Well, in addition to that you will likely begin cramping soon. It should be intermittent and last a couple days. I am among the fortunate ones for I have never experienced severe nausea and my cramps have always been relatively mild. Poor Jane is debilitated for almost a full week.”

  At this Darcy raised his hand, “I do not need to know about Jane, or any of your sisters, please.” Realizing how harsh he sounded, he apologized. “Forgive me. I did not mean to be gruff. I am not myself.” At this, they both smiled.

  “Never has a truer statement been made, Sir. However, I think you will handle it admirably.” Continuing her list of what he should expect, she added, “I have always found that walking helps. Though, it will be the last thing you will want to do. You will want to stay curled up in bed… and cry for no reason.” At his horrified expression, she laughed again.

  They sat together working to retrim her bonnet. Elizabeth - with great patience - taught Darcy the basics of bonnet trimming so he could do a passable job if called to do so in the future. More than once their hands touched and each felt a jolt when they did but neither commented on it.

  Darcy, cursed his circumstances but was forced to admit that if he felt unattractive and unable to voice his feelings, it was likely Elizabeth would not have been in a place to hear them had their situation not been reversed. He was pulled from his musings when Elizabeth gasped, “Mr. Darcy, I just remembered! Miss Bingley is ill because - and I may be jumping to conclusions - she got locked out of her room – on the balcony - whilst trying to find a way into yours.”

  “Oh dear God!”

  “Do not worry yourself; nothing came of it. I woke up in the middle of the night due to the cold of your room, when I noticed the balcony door had been left open. I believe she had planned to sneak in at some point and lay in wait. However, I locked the door before returning to bed so she was unsuccessful. It doesn’t really make sense though. I am still working it out.”

  “It is quite simple actually. I should have thought to warn you but I didn’t think she knew. You see, I have discovered several passages in the house. None led into my room, thankfully, but I know there is one in the room next to mine. I’d be
willing to wager that Miss Bingley was going to use it to sneak downstairs unseen from her room.” Thinking aloud he continued, “From there, it would not be a difficult climb from that balcony to mine.”

  “The maid said, she had been locked out on her balcony.”

  “Perhaps they were mistaken or perhaps they are attempting to cover it up. But I am surprised she knows of the secret passages. She is not exactly the curious, exploring type. Do you think she has help?”

  “I do. How else could she be assured your door would be unlocked? It must be someone very familiar with the home.” Elizabeth secretly enjoyed having a mystery they had to solve together. She just wished that there wasn’t so much was riding on their success.

  Taking her hand, Darcy looked deep into her eyes, “Please Elizabeth, our… I mean, err, my future happiness depends on not allowing her to trap me into marriage.”