by Jenna Allen
“I like baths.” She met his gaze, but looked to the left at the last second. At least she’d been trying to lie, put up a strong front. Anyone else might believe her.
“Me too.” Paul got to his feet and started plucking open the buttons of his shirt.
“What are you doing?”
“Baths help you sleep, right? I might as well give it a try.”
“Try it in your own tub.” She couldn’t know that when she sat up that straight he got a glimpse of her cleavage he never wanted anyone else to see.
With a small shrug of his shoulders, his shirt fell to the floor. Her eyes widened as he undid his belt. “This is still my tub.”
“I mean the one at your apartment.”
“I don’t have an apartment. I’ve been staying at the station. Only have showers there.” He made short work of the button and zipper of his slacks, pushing them while she was still blinking at that admission. He had to be more careful with the briefs. Weeks of being without Kayla and catching her in such an sensual pose had an erotic effect on him.
Kayla turned her head to the wall. “Wait a minute.”
He didn’t. Couldn’t. One foot dipped into the tub at the opposite end, thankful the water was only comfortably warm. Kayla had nearly scalded him a couple of times with her affection for hot baths.
The water glided over his body like warm satin, enveloping him like an embrace. He leaned back, stretching his legs until his feet arched around Kayla’s generous hips. The large, deep tub had been an expensive upgrade when they bought the house, but given Kayla’s affinity for baths they more than got their money’s worth. Especially now.
He leaned forward, prying her hands from her knees. His fingers slipped over her soft skin, tingling from the simple touch.
“I should get out.” But she made no move to go, just pulled her lip between her teeth. He had to start talking, but he had no idea where to begin. It had all gotten away from him, became a mountain too big to climb. Best to tunnel through.
“Remember when you asked if I’d go to therapy?”
Her face turned, her midnight blue gaze slicing into him. “I remember you said if I was a good counselor, I’d be able to fix my own problems.”
Had he said that? He’d been hurt at the suggestion things were that far gone, but had his words really been that cold? “I’ll go.”
“Now you’ll go.” She flailed a hand, splashing the water. “Why?”
Taking advantage of the intensity of her stony gaze he moved quickly. Grabbing at her hips with one hand, he pulled her forward, parting her legs with his and catching the small of her back with the other hand. Water rushed around them, sloshing over the side and onto the towels as he tugged her as close as possible.
Her muscles were relaxed and pliant from their soak, but her attitude was anything but. She tried to squirm, but she froze, realizing that in this position every movement she made would ignite sensations in her body. With her between his legs and her feet over his thighs next to his hips, they pressed intimately together.
Her lower lip trembled and her eyes widened. He knew she was thinking, and Kayla thinking would toss him out. Kayla feeling would give him a chance. Seducing her was his only hope.
With slow but sure hands he reached for her shoulders, letting the slickness of the water slide his hands down her arms. Willing her to meet his gaze, he stared at her downcast eyes as he tried to tease her nerve endings awake.
“I can’t do this,” she whispered, but didn’t move an inch.
Leaning forward, he kissed her shoulder, his mouth trailing across her collarbone. He reached for her face, holding it inches from his own until her eyes met his. “Let me love you like I should have. Like I will forever, if you’ll only let me.”
Her head shook slightly in his grasp. “You’re just lonely. I know how desperate that feels, but this will only make it worse.”
His hands slid from her face, down to her shoulders. He lifted each of her arms, setting them on the sides of the tub. “This could make everything better.”
Eyes the color of midnight turned watery and sad. “I tried that.” Her voice thick and strained with emotion, she continued. “The last six months we were together the only time you thought of me was for sex. I can’t be with you and be forgotten.”
He’d planned on trying for second base, but at her words he couldn’t do anything but wrap his arms around her and pull her to him. Had that really been what she thought?
Kayla didn’t fight him this time, twining her arms around his neck and holding on as tight as he did. She pressed the side of her face to his and he felt a warm wetness there that had nothing to do with the water in the bathtub.
“I never forgot you, Kayla. I just didn’t want for you to be exposed to the things I saw. There weren’t any funny stories to share anymore.” Somehow, having her there but not having to face her made it easier to explain. “You are the only thing that keeps me going, that keeps me from thinking the entire world has been corrupted.”
“I don’t need funny stories, Paul. I know what drugs do to people. That’s why I help people out of it.”
“You think every user is trying to hurt themselves more than anyone else. I don’t.”
She moved her head and pressed her forehead to his. “We didn’t grow apart because we disagreed about rehabilitation. You shut me out, completely.”
“I couldn’t share it with you. It was bad enough that I had to share you with them.”
“Them?” She pulled away slightly, her lips pressing in a tight line.
“Users.” She helped the very people he had to go after. Dingo Wells wasn’t the first arrest to ask for her.
“They are sick, Paul. Addiction is a disease. You know that.”
“Some of them are just sick.”
The tension in her shoulders eased slightly. “Some are pathological, I agree, but most just made a series of bad choices. It bothers you that I help some of the same people you arrest?”
He nodded, not wanting to talk about it anymore. It made him seem small and petty and it wasn’t nice in any way. Which was why he never brought it up. “I take them off the streets and you convince the courts to let them out again.”
“But—”
He held a finger to her lips, tired of the argument that had been playing in his head for a year. It was new to her, but he’d already come to a conclusion. “I’m leaving vice. I don’t like thinking we play for opposite sides.”
“We don’t,” she mumbled around his fingers.
“I applied for a training specialist position at the academy.” There. He’d said it. The reason he’d needed to see her. He hadn’t made a career move without consulting her, and no matter what she decided about their future, he didn’t want to make this one alone.
Her gaze narrowed and she started to lean towards him. “Is that what you want? If you make a move like that you may never make chief. I could change specialties, or you could transfer into another department.”
“I don’t want to be responsible for users getting trapped in the cycle. You help people out of it, even when it goes against what I’ve done.” His hands began a lazy exploration of her outstretched arms again. “And I’ve done homicide, missing persons. Every move would be lateral, and I’m not a politician, so getting beyond chief would never happen.”
“It could. With some media training—”
“Kayla?” He smiled, trying not to laugh. Sometimes she took the supportive wife thing a bit too far. “I want to do this. I can make superintendent in a few years and rework the academy curriculum so officers will have better training and be safer.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want you to give up being an officer because you think that will help us.”
“It will help, and I’ll still be an officer. I get new uniforms and everything.” He slipped his hands beneath the bubbles, up over the rise of her breasts. “I’ll need your help breaking them in.”
Her dark eyes flashed with sen
sual promise at his words. No doubt she was remembering how much fun they had every time he got a new uniform. Last time he’d arrested her for failing to yield right of way in the hall. Her evasion technique got them both off.
The hunger and devotion of two desperate lovers hung in the air for long moments. The spark of passion flared between them as it did when they first met, first married. He filled his palms with her breasts, taking in the silken softness as his fingers explored.
His blood heated, his touches growing heavier now that Kayla had given up her resistance. The muted haze of sensation built into an urgent rush. He had to have her, now, before she changed her mind again.
Kayla knew this was a big risk. Opening herself up to being disappointed by Paul yet again was foolish, but she couldn’t help herself. Especially since he was trying to make things right, and he hadn’t touched her in months.
Sex had been one of the first parts of their relationship to wane, and she longed for the closeness of it. Lust raged through her system and she decided to live in the moment. She arched her back, giving him better access to her aching breasts. Her hands slipped into the water, resting on his hard thighs. Since he’d left she’d dreamed of him, missed the way he touched her with such longing and reverence. His warm brown eyes never softened the way they did when they were making love. It was a side of him only she got to see, and she’d missed it terribly.
Already her body was screaming for release. The sudden flash of heat between her thighs coupled with his thumbs teasing over her nipples spurred her to action. She shivered in delight and leaned towards him, filling his palms with her breasts. His hands were rough from work and silky from the water, taunting her to beg for more.
His gaze spoke volumes, showing she wasn’t the only one aching with need. He knew her the way she knew him, knew every dark corner hidden in the deepest parts of a soul. Her heartbeat raced, needing to touch him, feel him, be with him in the most primal way.
But first, she would make him crazy. She dropped her gaze to his sexy grin, and followed it with her lips. He opened willingly for her and she poured everything into that kiss, her frustrations, her hopes, and the terrifying uncertainty of what was going on between them. His mouth was hotter, harder, more forgiving than she anticipated. Her fears tried to make her stop and think, but her heart overruled them. She took the kiss deeper, reaching for the soul-searing connection he’d robbed them both of by pulling away.
Desire flamed within her. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could tease him without taking him right there in the tub. Her mind sparked at the possibility of trying something she’d seen in a magazine.
She moved back and he tried to follow her, to continue the kiss, but her mind was on bigger and better things. Pushing her feet against the tub behind him she slid backwards, all the way to the opposite end of the tub.
“Come back here,” he growled, lurching for her.
She shook her head, feeling her power. “On your knees.”
“Knees?” He arched a brow, but shifted in the water, giving her a glimpse of his cock so hard it pressed against his abs.
Kayla lifted her legs onto the sides of the tub, opening herself fully to the warmth of the water and the pleasure that was imminent. Her sex tingled, so full and swollen her mind had little room for anything but the thought of Paul filling her, thrusting into her with nothing but the water as resistance.
He wrapped his hand around his cock, his thumb rolling over the exposed tip as he let out a groan. “You can’t look at me like that if you want me to go slow.”
“Who said anything about slow? I’m thinking now.” Her own lust was mirrored in his eyes, heightening her want.
Paul leaned forward, the head of his cock brushing the engorged sensitive length of her clit. One hand still on his impressive erection, the other dove beneath the water. His fingers traveled over her waist, sliding against her ass to pull her closer and help tilt her hips into position.
She licked her lips, her mouth drying in anticipation. Instead of the rush of him filling her, he teased her aching flesh with his. The head of his cock stroked her intimately, slowly, finally pressing against the bud of her desire. Pleasure blossomed, but not quickly enough. He kept stroking her, from her hooded clit to where she wanted him most. He quickened his movements until her legs started to tremble against the sides of the tub.
“Please,” she moaned, pulling her lower lip between her teeth.
“Please what?” he groaned, sweat forming on his brow.
“Love me.”
The words were barely a whisper, but he fulfilled their promise, anchoring her hips as he plunged into her. Her head fell back as she gasped for breath his thickness stretching her. She ached with the pleasure of it as he began thrusting, fast and furious against her body. The water in the tub rippled at first, the waves building as her pleasure did, spilling out onto the floor as she screamed in climax.
Her body flushed with heat, her sex clamped down on him as the world narrowed. She gripped the sides of the tub, loving how her sensitive flesh responded to his continued ministrations. If they were out of the water he’d be plowing through her, but here he could go on without abandon. Usually so terribly restrained, she reveled in his recklessness, loving the way it made her feel, loving him.
“Amazing,” she whispered through her smile.
Paul mumbled something unintelligible, his low-pitched cries of ecstasy reverberating in the small room. His fingers pressing into her hips as he ground out his own release. His eyes closed and he leaned towards her.
It didn’t take much for her to lose her grip, her spent legs sliding into the water as she slipped backwards. His hand was behind her head, the only thing that kept her from going under. He helped her sit up, grinning all the while.
“You should write a letter to the editor. That position of the month is dangerous.”
She couldn’t help but laugh. When things were good, he’d flip through her favorite magazine whenever she left it in sight, looking for the position of the month. “Just testing your reflexes.”
“I passed.” Paul stood in the tub, streams of water licking across his taut flesh. “Towel or robe?”
“Towel.” The button for the drain sunk beneath her fingers, the water flowing out. When she turned he was already there, a towel wrapped around his slim waist, holding another out for her.
Kayla stood, pulling the terrycloth against her sensitive skin, suddenly so exhausted she wondered how she’d make it to the bed. She forced herself not to think of what Paul being here meant, of tomorrow, of anything that would keep her from finally resting her weary mind. Sex didn’t solve problems, but when it was done right it worked better than any sleeping pill ever could.
She lifted one heavy leg, then the other over the rim of the tub, glad to feel towels there even if they were wet. Less clean up. Tomorrow. Tonight she’d finally sleep. Standing next to him, she looked into Paul’s eyes and smiled as she pulled the towel tighter around her body. “Will you call me tomorrow?”
He blinked, running a hand through his damp hair. “Sure.”
With a nod, she stepped carefully over the cold tile, her legs getting heavier with each step. At the edge of the bed she dropped the towel, climbing naked between the flannel sheets. Her head sunk onto the down pillow, her entire body dropping into dreamless bliss.
Call me tomorrow. As if. Paul watched Kayla fall asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. She really expected him to leave.
Not happening.
He grabbed the wine from the counter and his clothes and the towels from the bathroom, picking up hers on his way into the hall. He did a load of laundry to make sure she couldn’t harp on him about that later. When he’d left she’d been so angry all the time it felt like every move he made was the wrong one.
No, he didn’t talk to her about work. He’d needed to keep the reality of the job from her, but he had to admit he’d closed himself off in other ways. Every time she’d get angry, h
e backed off more and more until when she suggested they separate, giving her a break seemed like a good option.
Fisting the neck of the wine bottle, he made for the guest bedroom. Cardboard boxes lined one wall of what should be a cheery room. The sunshine yellow walls mocked him as he noticed the labels on the boxes. Paul’s winter clothes, Paul’s books, Paul’s games and DVDs. She’d boxed up his life and moved it out of her way.
The bed creaked as he sat down, remembering that squeak was why they got a new bed when they moved. Lifting the bottle to his lips he took long swallows of the mellow Pinot. He loved being a cop, loved being able to tweak the world so that occasionally it ran a little smoother. Kayla used to be proud of that, but seeing her name as a character witness for so many of the pushers and users had got to him. They were on opposite sides of the battle, and he’d brought that war into their home by staying angry about every time she undid what he fought to do.
With a sigh and a shake of his head, he set the bottle on the nightstand and decided to go through the boxes. He hadn’t taken more than a knapsack with him, so there were bound to be clothes in the stack somewhere. And once he was dressed, he’d start unpacking. He was home to stay, no matter what it took.
The rich aroma of fresh coffee tempted her to open her eyes. Had she actually remembered to set it last night? She’d been so exhausted for so long, little things kept getting forgotten.
With a yawn she stretched her arms overhead, smiling at the soreness in her muscles. She’d actually managed to sleep. On a Saturday, so she could sleep in. And Paul had been here, and he’d been wonderful.
A naughty giggle escaped as she rolled over and hugged his pillow, trying to decide between coffee and sleep.
“Here’s hoping I put that smile on your face.” Paul’s deep voice tensed her muscles.
He was still here. Pulling the sheet around her bare body she sat up, blinking away sleep to see him in the doorway of their bedroom in nothing but a pair of boxer briefs. That had to be some kind of crime. He should only be allowed to show off his defined chest or his muscled legs. Not both.