She laughed and took a bite of her own. ‘I can imagine. I have to do it all the time.’
He bit again, those white, even teeth sinking through the soft pastry and making her mouth water.
She hauled her eyes off him and concentrated on her own plate, aware of his every bite, every chew, every swallow. Then he wiped his hands on her paper napkin, dusted himself off and looked up at her, his eyes concerned.
‘So what will you do? If they do offer it to me?’
She shrugged, trying not to look as worried as she felt. ‘I’ll find something. They still need locum cover until you get here. That’ll give me a few months.’
‘I only have six weeks left of my notice.’
She felt the blood drain from her face. ‘Six weeks?’
‘I handed in my notice two weeks ago, and they owed me three weeks’ holiday and a whole bunch of time off in lieu, so I told them I’d take the money instead of working my notice.’
She felt her heart pick up as the adrenalin hit, the reality of her situation suddenly daunting. Six weeks? She shrugged again, finding a smile from somewhere. ‘That’ll still give me a little while to look around. There are always jobs.’
‘But not here, not near enough for you to live in your grandfather’s house.’
She felt the smile crumble. ‘Probably not. Not unless there’s a miracle, and I stopped believing in them the day I caught my mother in bed with my boyfriend.’
His eyes widened, and she gave a soft laugh.
‘I told you what she was like. She was a stray bullet and she didn’t care who got in the way. That time, it was me.’
‘Yeah, but—him, too?’ He swore softly under his breath. ‘That’s outrageous, Laura. What the hell were they thinking about? No wonder you were so wary. Only a complete bastard would do that to his girlfriend. And as for your mother...’
‘Tell me about it. Anyway, no miracles. We’ll be fine.’
‘We?’
‘Me and Millie.’
‘Was she all right when you got home?’
Back to that. ‘She was fine. Well, apart from stealing the TV remote. She’s a fan of doing that. I found it in the bathroom.’
‘Bathroom?’
She shrugged. ‘She just hides it. It’s a game.’
He smiled fleetingly, then drained his coffee, glanced at his watch and met her eyes again, the smile gone.
‘I reckon it’s time to go and get the answer,’ he said, and she nodded, her heart thudding.
She pushed her cup away and got to her feet. ‘Do I look OK? No dog hair or icing sugar?’
His eyes flicked down then back to hers, but he didn’t quite veil them in time and she caught a flash of heat.
‘No dog hair or icing sugar,’ he said, his voice even. ‘You look great. What about me? Will I pass?’
She smiled a little sadly, hoping she didn’t look bitter.
‘Absolutely. You look like a man on his way to the top.’
He held her eyes a fraction longer, then looked away, but not before she saw something in them that she didn’t understand.
‘Let’s go and get this over with, then,’ he said, and she followed him out of the café, wondering what she’d said to put that odd look in his eyes.
All of the odd looks. Funny how she couldn’t read him any more.
* * *
She was right.
They did offer him the job, and for a moment he felt sick.
‘So where does that leave Laura?’ he asked, without saying yes or no, but James didn’t even blink.
‘That’s not relevant to this.’
‘Yes, it is. Why didn’t you offer her the job?’
There was a slight intake of breath from one of the panel and the CEO raised an eyebrow, but James smiled grimly. ‘Because, not to put too fine a point on it, you were too good to lose. We need people like you, and we want you in the department.’
‘And you don’t want Laura?’
‘I didn’t say that.’
No, and Tom knew he didn’t mean it, because they had her anyway. Not that James said so in as many words, but it was a fact. And he probably was better qualified, more experienced, more ready for the role.
He nodded slowly, knowing James was right. Still, for a moment longer he hovered on the brink of turning it down, but he couldn’t afford to be that magnanimous. In six weeks he’d be out of work and homeless, so he needed this job at least as much as Laura, however hard-nosed that seemed, but hopefully they’d look after her. It sounded like they would. Well, they’d damn well better. At the very least she needed a stunning reference.
‘OK,’ he said, swallowing his sense of betrayal. ‘I’ll take it. Thank you.’
James smiled, his face relaxing. ‘You’re welcome. It’s good to have you. We need to speak to Dr Kemp, and then if you have time we can have a chat about what happens next, so don’t go away.’
‘I won’t.’
The other members of the panel congratulated him, and as he headed for the door James stopped him.
‘Don’t say anything to Laura. Let me tell her.’
He gave what had to be a slightly bitter smile. ‘You probably won’t need to. She already told me I’d get it. Just—look after her, please.’
He walked out of the door and she looked up and met his eyes. He could see defeat written on her face, clear as day, and he felt as if he’d betrayed her.
She tilted her chin up, showing her usual courage and stamina. ‘You got it, didn’t you?’
He didn’t answer that. Couldn’t. ‘They want to talk to you,’ he said, his voice a little gruff.
Her smile was a brave attempt. ‘Yes, I’m sure they do.’
He swallowed and looked away, and as she passed him she went up on tiptoe and kissed his cheek, her breath soft against his face.
‘Congratulations, Dr Stryker. You deserved to win.’
He heard the door close softly behind him, and let out a long, slow breath and rammed his hands in his pockets.
He should have turned it down.
* * *
She walked out of the room in a daze, and found Tom still there, standing by the window with his hands in his pockets, staring out across the park, his shoulders rigid.
‘Hey.’
‘Hey.’ He turned slowly towards her, and his eyes looked strangely bleak. ‘So what did they say?’
She shrugged. ‘I’m not sure. They offered me more locum work, and then James said something about new posts coming up all the time and not to worry, something would turn up in the hospital soon and I would be at the top of their list, but that’s just a guess and there’s no timescale.’
‘Any maternity leave in the pipeline?’
She shook her head. ‘Not as far as I know. The only person even remotely likely to go on mat leave hasn’t said anything and I’m sure she would have told me before she told James. And there’s nobody else of the right grade who’s looking to move on as far as I’m aware, at least in the ED. I suppose there’s always the various admissions units, but there’s nothing advertised and no rumours.’
‘So what will you do?’
She shrugged. ‘Keep looking. Everyone’s desperate for staff so there’s bound to be something suitable out there, and for now I’m here. I’ll be covering your job until you start, and there are two people off in April so technically they might want me to cover for them, but beyond that I don’t know.’ Not that she was particularly happy about still being there after he arrived, but until she found something else...
‘So you aren’t going to starve?’
She smiled. ‘No, Tom, I’m not going to starve, but I might have to kick the house into shape for when I need to move away.’ She felt her smile wobble and looked away. ‘So, what are you doing now?’
‘James wants to
talk to me. All the nuts and bolts of when and how, I guess. And then I need to go house-hunting, because I have six weeks to find somewhere to live. I don’t suppose you want to help with that?’
She busied herself with her bag. ‘Sorry, I can’t. I’ve got to go and walk Millie, then I’m back on duty at one.’
‘So I won’t see you again.’
‘Not till you start, and maybe not then if something else comes up.’
‘So I guess this is goodbye, then.’
She heard him move, felt his hands settle on her shoulders as he turned her into his arms and hugged her firmly against his chest. The scent of his body enveloped her and made her ache for him, but he wasn’t hers and never would be, and suddenly she wanted to cry.
‘I’m truly sorry, Laura,’ he muttered against her hair.
‘Don’t be, you deserve the job,’ she said, and eased out of his arms as James came out of the meeting room. She flashed her boss a smile, reached out and squeezed Tom’s arm and met his beautiful eyes for what could be the last time.
‘Goodbye, Tom.’
He nodded wordlessly, his eyes filled with something that could have been regret.
Too late for that.
She felt her eyes prickle and turned away, leaving them to their chat and making her way out of the building, across the car park, into her car, down the road. She pulled up on the drive, let herself in, slid down the door and finally, finally gave in to the wrenching sobs that were tearing her apart.
Millie licked her face, and she put her arms around the dog’s neck and sobbed into her fur.
‘What are we going to do, Millie? Where are we going to live?’ she asked brokenly, while Millie whined softly and licked her again.
Then finally she sucked in a breath, straightened up and looked into Millie’s anxious eyes. ‘We’ll be OK,’ she promised, and she wasn’t sure which of them she was trying to convince.
* * *
‘Can we have a word?’
James was standing in the door of his office waiting for her, and she went in with him and pasted on a smile, but it was a pretty sketchy effort.
He closed the door and searched her eyes. ‘Are you all right, Laura?’
‘I’ll live.’
‘I don’t doubt it, but this is not at all the way I wanted it. I’m so, so sorry.’
She shrugged. ‘Don’t be, James. You had to take him, I know that. He was the best candidate.’
‘Actually, he wasn’t. He has more experience, but other than that there was nothing between you—but we had you already, and if we gave you the job we’d lose Tom. This way, unless you find something else, we can find a way to keep you here until such time as a suitable vacancy occurs.’
‘And if it doesn’t?’
‘It will.’ He hesitated, as if he wanted to tell her something, then dropped his eyes. ‘Something will turn up, it always does. We’ll still need you for another month after Tom starts on the first of April, and who knows what’ll happen in the meantime. At some point soon, there will be a job with your name on it.’
And she’d still be here when Tom started work. She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. ‘You can’t know that.’
He opened his mouth to speak, but the Tannoy burst into life.
‘Adult trauma call, five minutes. Adult trauma call, ten minutes.’
‘Well, that’s our afternoon sorted,’ James said with a wry smile, and headed for Resus to prepare for the incoming patients.
So that was that. No time for wallowing in self-pity, no more tears or wasted emotion. Just business as usual.
She sucked in a breath and followed him.
* * *
‘Fancy a coffee and a catch up?’
Laura smiled, hoping her concern didn’t show in her eyes. She hadn’t seen Livvy since the interviews because their shifts hadn’t coincided, but she’d been looking pale and strained for weeks now, and she was worried about her. Please, let it not be her cancer back...
She pinned on a cheery smile, scribbled her signature and slapped the file shut. ‘Yeah, sure. I was just going on my break. Park Café?’
‘That would be lovely.’
She ordered a cappuccino and Livvy picked up a luminous green smoothie, and they headed for the same table she’d sat at with Tom just a week ago. She was doing her best to put him out of her mind, but she was failing miserably, and the table didn’t help.
Livvy prodded her smoothie with the straw. ‘I’m really sorry you didn’t get the job. When does this Tom guy start?’
‘April Fool’s Day.’
‘So soon?’
‘Yup.’ Just five more weeks, and she had no idea how she was going to deal with it.
‘Wow, and you’re covering Andy and Sam, so you’ll still be here. Are you OK with that, working with the person who got your job? Because I wouldn’t be.’
She let out a tiny laugh. ‘Honestly? I have no idea.’
‘It must be hard not to hate him.’
Hate him? No, she could never hate him. She just wished the ache would go away. She shook her head.
‘I don’t hate him.’
‘Then you’re a better person than me. I was gutted for you. I know how much you wanted that job.’
‘I did want it, Livvy, but there’s more to it than that. I knew him years ago at uni. We didn’t always see eye to eye because we’re very different people, but we were friends, and I can’t hate him for being better than me. And anyway, in the meantime I’m still here, I still have a job, so I’m grateful for that, but it’s only a few weeks, so I need to start looking for another job in earnest.’
‘No, don’t do that,’ Livvy said instantly, and Laura blinked.
‘What? Why?’
Livvy shifted, glancing over her shoulder to check if there was anyone nearby, then she leant forwards, her eyes bright with suppressed emotion, and before Laura could even open her mouth she spoke again, her voice hushed but fizzing with joy.
‘I’m pregnant,’ she mouthed.
Laura felt her jaw sag, and her eyes welled with tears.
‘Oh, Livvy! Oh, that’s amazing! I’ve been so worried. You’ve been looking peaky and I...’ She tailed off, put her coffee down and hugged Livvy hard across the table. ‘Oh, I’m so, so happy for you!’
And then a thought popped into her head, bizarre and unlikely, but...
‘Does James know?’
Livvy nodded. ‘Yes. I had to tell him really early on. That’s why I’ve been working in Minors since New Year, because of the X-rays in Resus, but it’s time to go public and I wanted you to know before everyone else. I’ve been longing to tell you for ages, but I’m thirteen weeks now so I can’t really hide it much longer, and I’ve already told James that if all goes well, I’m going to be leaving, so my job’ll be up for grabs. Like, permanently.’
She felt her breath jam in her throat, and her heart lurched. ‘Seriously?’
‘Seriously. Life’s too short, and I want to spend it with the children. Amber and Charlie don’t know yet, but they’re going to be so excited, and I want to be there with them all. I never thought I’d ever be a mother, and I want to do it properly and be the best mum I can to all of them, and Matt’s right behind me, so it’s the right thing for all of us. And I’ve told James he’s got to give you my job, so I hope you and Tom can bury your differences and work together.’
She laughed, but in the background her thoughts were tumbling. It would mean she wouldn’t have to move out of the house, wouldn’t have to find another job elsewhere, another house, another dog walker for Millie—if it came off. If everything was all right with Livvy’s baby, and if she got the job.
A lot of ifs, all resulting in one inevitable fact.
She’d be working alongside Tom.
Tom, who twelve years ago had winkled a w
ay into her heart, and just a week ago had stolen it, along with her job. Or not her job, as it turned out...
Could she honestly work with him on a permanent basis? And if she did, what about their very personal relationship? Was that always going to be in the way?
Maybe she should be looking elsewhere, instead of waiting for Livvy’s job which she might not even get.
How could it all get so complicated?
Five weeks later...
So, it was done.
In a whirlwind six weeks he’d bought a house, all his personal possessions were relocated, unpacked and put away, and he’d even been organised enough to get an internet food order delivered last night.
And today—in half an hour, to be exact—he started work as Senior Specialist Registrar in the ED in Yoxburgh Park Hospital.
New house, new job—new life?
He could only hope so. The last one hadn’t proved to be so great, and the success of this one—well, that might depend on all sorts of things other than Laura, but she seemed to be all he could think about. Was she still there? Would he see her again?
He had no idea, but his heart was doing a little jig behind his ribs and it was getting on his nerves. He didn’t want to be thinking about Laura. He didn’t want to be thinking about anything today except finding his feet in a new team, a new department, a new hospital.
And Laura—well, there was nothing he could do about Laura. He’d spent the past six weeks thinking about her, worrying about how she was, if she’d found another job, if he’d see her again. Today would bring some of those answers, and he just hoped they’d be answers he could live with.
With any luck she wouldn’t still be here, because if he knew one thing after that night it was that once wasn’t enough, but she’d made it clear it wasn’t going anywhere and he was done with unrequited lust.
Still, maybe she wouldn’t be there, and as for what his future held, he had bigger things to worry about. He’d made an appointment with an optometrist for tomorrow which might give him some answers, and until then he wasn’t going to think about his eyes. Or about Laura. Just his new job.
Healing Her Emergency Doc Page 5