I turned to look at Lei who hadn't so much as glanced in my direction since I had arrived, "Definitely, but give me a sec?"
Chris followed my gaze to Lei and said, "Sure thing," before he walked out of the converted fridge headed for the dining room.
I moved to stand next to Lei. She seemed a little uneasy as I eased up to her as she crossed her arms, in what might have been an unconscious response.
She didn't look at me and instead made a point of seeming more interested in what Rogers’s reaction to the post-it note was going to be as he pulled it off of his forehead.
Finally she asked, "Are you still angry with me?"
She had asked in a rather meek voice that didn't suit her personality. It wasn't an act, or at least I didn't think it was one. It was simply that she was afraid we were on shaky ground, which would be unusual for us."
"Yes and no," I said honestly, "I understand why you did what you did, but I still don't like the idea that you might be keeping secrets from me."
She looked hurt by the words, but I still felt the air needed to be clear, "Makes me wonder what else you might feel is more important then trust between us."
I knew the words were going to cut into her, but I wasn't trying to be deliberately hurtful. Lei looked at me, wanting to protest, but I held up a hand and she bit off whatever words she might have said.
"It's not that you weren't acting in any way, other than what you thought was best for me. You were, and it's not as though you were doing it out of anything but affection, but the fact is that you put the importance of keeping a secret from me ahead of the trust we have in each other."
I could see tears forming in her eyes and I caved just a little, "To be fair, I blame Alpha a lot more than I blame you. He shouldn't have told you what was going on and then asked you to keep quiet about it. He was wrong and he knows that, now. Frankly, I think he knew it when he made the decision, but he's so used to doing the wrong thing for the right reasons he didn't balk at the deception."
I waited to see if she was going to argue. When she didn't I said quietly, "Still, even though I love Alpha like a father, I'm not in love with him. I am in love with you."
Lei's head had dropped as I spoke, but as I said those last words she raised her head and her voice cracked as she spoke, "I love you too. More than anything."
I nodded and kept my expression neutral, but inside I was falling apart. In all the years we had known each other we had barely ever said "I love you" to each other. I don't know why, maybe we felt like we didn't need to, but it seems that based on the reaction we were both having to those wonderful words, well, we should have been saying them far more often.
"Please Lei," I said weakly, "No more secrets. I don't care how devastating the truth may be, because I know that not trusting you will destroy me faster than anything else ever could."
Lei nodded immediately but didn't say anything until, "There's something you should know."
I sighed, "More secrets?"
"No, no more secrets. That was the only one I ever kept from you, and the only one I ever will. I swear."
I nodded again, "Then what?"
"I told myself that I’d kept the fact that Chris was alive a secret because it was the right thing to do. Alpha even said as much to me when I found out, but it isn't really the reason I didn't tell you."
I waited patiently, as Lei searched for the courage to continue. In my head I didn't think the reason was going to matter, but it obviously had a big significance to Lei, as she seemed to be ’confessing’ something.
"I had just gotten you back!” she exclaimed, and then her words came out in a rush, like water through a burst dam, “It had been ten years since we were together, and we were finally back on track and I didn't want anything to get in the way, and I know how loyal you are to your friend, and the guilt you felt over what happened and I didn't want to lose you again or share you with anybody, not even Chris. I wanted you to be mine and mine alone. At least until Chris couldn't be kept a secret anymore."
Lei was crying now, but she didn't sob as the tears flowed down.
"I had been away from you for so long. I was selfish. I'm sorry."
I was wrong, it mattered a whole lot more than I had ever thought anything could and I could feel the anger rising in me. Lei hadn't just kept it from me, she had made the choice regardless of what Alpha had asked her to do. She'd done it deliberately, and not out of any motivation more altruistic than simple selfishness.
I guess she could see that I was growing angry again and looked away from me. "I don't blame you for hating me right now. I'd probably feel the same if the situation were reversed."
"Hate you?!" I got angrier, "Oh No, you don't get to guilt me into forgiving you by going to extremes."
"I know."
"Do you?" I didn't mean to raise my voice, but in the enclosed space sound reverberated more than normal. "I'm no 'mark' you can manipulate, I know you too well."
"I never could manipulate you, Even when you didn't know me ‘too well’."
I sighed, "No, you couldn't, could you?" I began searching my thoughts, because something was nagging at me, "What were you worried about Lei? Alpha and I had already cleared the air, and I’m not going to leave again."
She was very still and hugging herself tighter she whispered, "You did once."
Those three words hit me harder than any punch I had ever received. I looked at her, as she continued to stare at the floor.
She was right.
When I left I hadn't just left the life, and the family, but I had left Lei behind as well. If our paths hadn't crossed by necessity there was a very good chance that any possibility of Lei and me being together would have been slim at best. In my defense, I had thought Lei to be part of the betrayal that had driven me away, but I should have, at the very least, given her the chance to explain. I had left abruptly because I didn't want my heart to make me do something other than what my head knew, with only the ‘facts’ it had at the time, was the right thing to do. Did that mean that if the circumstances were "just so" that I could leave again?
A thought occurred to me, something Alpha had said earlier during our own confrontation.
"You know," I said calmly to Lei, "neither of us have any living blood relatives."
Lei looked up to my face confused by the change in subject. Gently I put one hand on her shoulder and turned her to face me. She didn't fight me but didn't lift her head to look at my face. I wiped away some tears that had stopped falling, yet remained on her face, and then lifted her chin to look into her eyes.
"I suppose...I mean, when this is over, you should consider who you'd rather have, to give you away."
Lei frowned, "What? I don't..."
"Technically Alpha isn't really your father any more than mine, but he's the closest thing we've got. Then again, Chris is basically family, so either could be appropriate."
"Are you...? What are you...?!" Lei's confused reaction wasn't what I had expected, and I felt a nervousness I hadn't known since my teenage years swirling within me.
I heard a crash, but my whole world revolved around Lei now as I took her into my arms.
Lei gripped me tightly with one arm and hand, but was pushing away with her free hand.
"Lei, I want you to know that whatever comes from this point on that we'll be together, no matter what."
Lei got it at this point and her face peered disbelieving into mine, "You better not be doing this just..."
I cut her off, "No. We've been together nearly five decades. That's longer than most already married couples, so forgive me if I've grown complacent, or too familiar with you to say how I feel, how I have felt for all that time, or act as I should have done long, long ago."
Lei put her hands on my face, which made my heart speed up, beating so hard that I thought everyone in the room could hear it, as I said, "At this point, if I have to get on a knee I'll probably makes us fall."
I started to kneel anyway and Lei
dropped right down to her knees with me.
"Lei," I looked around at the interior of the refrigerator, saw Larson peering down at us, ignored him, and turned back to Lei, "Despite my taking you to all the fanciest places, and although this is happening in front of the strangest collection of witnesses in the history of all proposals… Will you, Lei, marry me?"
She let out a sound that was half cry and half a laugh and her body started to bounce up and down before she said, "Mine," and kissed me fiercely.
When we finally parted I asked dumbly, "That meant 'Yes' right?"
She kissed me again as I stood us both up.
I took it as a "Yes."
Of course, as ever, Chris had returned to break the mood.
"Oh will you look at that," Chris was looking at the pair of us on our knees holding each other, "Two assholes in love." He pretended to swoon and placed the back of one hand against his forehead, "...So romantic, couldn't ya just plotz."
Larson looked at Chris and frowned, "Plotz?"
Chapter 40
Chris led us out of the walk-in refrigerator and toward the dining area. Our table already had a collection of beautiful looking plates of food and a large bowl of steamed rice that made my stomach growl in response. "Well, here we are," Chris chuckled as he scooped some rice onto his plate.
"Yep," I smiled as I helped myself to some of a noodle dish that had shrimp and green onions spread evenly throughout, "Deep in it as usual."
Chris nodded, "And you two are engaged to boot!" Chris pointed with the rice ladle as he continued, "You know, you two have the absolute worst timing and sense of romance that I have ever seen."
Chris lifted a spring roll from another platter and took a big bite as he turned to Lei, "And just so you know, the bachelor party is going to be on a deep sea fishing boat headed for an eight day trip to Guadeloupe Island."
I nodded, "Right time of year for that."
"Sure is," Chris reclined into the back of the dining chair, "Think the old ball and chain will let you go when this is over?"
I shrugged and looked at Lei, "Um...honey?"
"You aren't going tuna fishing without me, asshole."
Chris rolled his eyes, "Well, that didn't take long."
I smiled, "What didn't?"
Chris didn't answer directly, but made the sound of a whip cracking followed by a uttering a high pitched, "Meow."
"Hey!" I protested.
"Goddamn right," Lei agreed.
"You know the thing about newlyweds and the jelly bean jar, right?" Chris spoke conspiratorially.
I felt my shoulders go slack, "Chris..."
"Okay, so the first year of your marriage you put a jelly bean in the jar every time that you guys fu..."
"Chris!" I interrupted, "I know the story of the jelly bean jar!"
Lei looked sideways at Chris, "You do realize he's marrying me right?"
Chris nodded vigorously, "Yeah and it's really gonna suck to see your ass blow up like the Hindenburg."
"My ass?!" Lei announced in a loud voice to the entire restaurant, as she stood up from her chair and with the few patrons inside the place looking up from their food to see what was happening, Lei turn her backside into Chris' face.
"Does it look as though my ass has expanded? Even one inch in the last fifty years?"
Chris had to sit back as far as he could in his chair to keep Lei's posterior from bashing him. For my part, I was now holding my breath to keep from laughing.
"...Ah..." Chris stammered, "You know your boobs are going to drop to the ground as well."
Lei spun around, "How DARE you!" and unselfconsciously grabbed her chest and tested to see if gravity had already started taking a toll.
"Enough you two," I somehow managed while still laughing.
"Wait, wait, wait!" Chris objected, "She might shove those things into my face too!"
Lei suddenly realizing what she was doing, sat back down, "In your dreams, sweetheart."
"Guys?" I was still smiling like an idiot as I spoke.
"See Steve," Chris was in full 'Eureka' mode, as he pointed at Lei, "She called me sweetheart! She IS in love with me! I knew it!"
"Oh please." She said.
"Guys?" I implored….
But Chris was on a roll, "Oh please nothing!" He turned to me, "I'm sorry Steve, but until Lei and I resolve our unspoken attraction for one another I can't let you marry her."
"Chris...?" I said.
"Unspoken attraction!" Lei sounded aghast.
"Lei...?" I asked
Chris looked sorrowfully at Lei, "We shouldn't try to fight it anymore."
"Fight it?!" she exclaimed.
"Guys?" I was practically begging now and my voice needed to take a sip of water just to clear the laugh from my throat.
Suddenly Chris slapped the table with both hands, "All right! Fine! I'll sleep with you just this once, but that has got to be the end of it!"
At which point I spit the water out, as I couldn't contain the laughter inside me. Chris laughed too, and pointed at me as well. Lei just crossed her arms and tried to look angry, but she was making a poor showing of it, as her face looked as though she might start laughing, too.
After a minute or so the moment of frivolity ended and we ate for a bit without speaking further until I asked, "So what's up Chris? I don't think you brought me out here just to talk about the fishing or having sex with my future wife."
Lei cooed, "Mmmm, future wife. I like that."
"You're right," Chris confirmed, "First, I guess I wanted to apologize."
I was so shocked that I almost lost the food in my mouth as I spoke, "Apologize?! For what?"
Chris pushed himself away from the table, "A bunch of different things, I guess. Letting myself get shot, mostly. It had been my fault for not paying any attention to my surroundings."
I shook my head, "You were busy trying to help me, and Alpha!"
Chris nodded, but said, "True, but after the training Alpha has been putting me through, well it seems obvious to me now that I should have been more careful."
"You're a Medical Examiner, not a Soldier and not a Police Officer."
"S'pose that was the case," Chris was growing more and more somber, as he sat looking down at the tabletop and tracing his fingers along tablecloth, "But as I said, I had quite a bit of training since my recovery. Learned a lot in that time. I know a lot more now than I did before and I just wanted to let you know it won't happen again."
I was confused, "What won't happen again?"
"I won't compromise you or anyone else when we hit the camp."
I just stared at him. I didn't really know what to say, but fortunately, the waiter had returned to remove the empty plates, which gave me a chance to collect my thoughts.
"You weren't going to let me go with you, were you?" Chris said knowingly.
I hadn't even thought it was a possibility in the first place, and there was no way I was going to let him come with us. I didn't give a damn how much training he thought he had.
"Chris..."
"No, don't even try." Chris interrupted, and the lovable jester that had dominated Chris' personality was gone. What replaced it was something more determined, and maybe even a little scary, "This isn't a conversation I'm going to have with you, I'm sorry, but this guy Whelan pretty much killed me, man. You don't know the pain I've endured, how I had to wear a colostomy bag, as my guts knit themselves back together. How I had to learn how to function again, and I don't just mean walking around, I mean learning how to eat solid food, and take a shit without screaming in pain."
I cringed at the visual Chris was painting. The turmoil inside me diminished and I felt a certain degree of my person shift to a different mindset. I didn't like it, but who was I to deny Chris his chance for revenge? Most of my own motivation was vengeful, for what that man had done to me, my people, and most of all, Chris.
"If you do come along, you follow the lead of either Lei, Larson or me."
Ch
ris smiled, "You're the lead Hunter, and as I'm part of the community now, I know my place."
I didn't like the sound of that, "Place? What exactly did Alpha teach you?"
"After I recovered and was able to walk again, I was kind of lost," Chris wasn't even looking at me any more, "I was afraid, afraid of pretty much everything. I had come so close to dying, I was actually dead, and after that I was afraid to do anything, regardless how benign...and I hated being afraid. So when Alpha came to see me, after my body had fully recovered, I asked him, begged him, to train me to be like you, to be a Hunter."
I almost bolted out of my chair, "What?!"
Chris laughed at my reaction, "He figured you would react like that. It's why I didn't make contact with you sooner. I needed to finish my training before I saw you or you might..." Chris paused and thought about his next words before he spoke them, unusual for Chris, "...get in the way."
Incredulous, I repeated those four words, "Get in the way."
Chris looked at me, "Don't take it like that. You know what I mean."
I did. It didn't really help, but I did understand.
Chris looked at me, "I needed it, you know? I needed to not be afraid anymore, and I had seen how you handled yourself, your confidence, your competence, I needed that."
"Who trained you?" I managed, "One of the hunters, or Alpha himself?"
Chris frowned, "Alpha. Why?"
I shrugged, "It's just that he hasn't personally trained anyone for decades."
"Maybe, given our relationship and the fact that I was shot while freeing your people from Pharmanetics, he decided to take a personal interest?"
I nodded,
"There's something else I need to tell you."
I groaned, "What else could there possibly be?"
"I'll get to that in a second. What can you tell me about that guy Zach."
I took a moment and filled Chris in on what I knew and his history with Larson, up to now. Chris took it all in without saying anything, but every now and again he'd nod his head while he just sat there listening until I’d finished.
Madman's Monster Page 25