by R. C. Martin
“Just like that, baby. Fuck—just like that,” I moaned.
I could feel it as she grew more confident. With her confidence came a heightened sense of pleasure. Conscious that I would regret it if I didn’t, I forced my eyes open and gazed down at her. Watching her swallow my length over and over made me even more aroused. My Theodora—sweet and gentle—was offering me a sacrifice of her own. When I felt on the brink of my orgasm, I locked my jaw in a concentrated effort. Taking hold of her braid, I pulled her away from me. She looked up, startled, and I bent down to smash my lips against hers. She squeaked, but then reached for either side of my face as I thrust my tongue into her mouth.
“Up, Teddy,” I demanded a moment later.
As she stood to her feet, I toed my shoes from mine and stepped out of the rest of my clothing. I then made quick work of Teddy’s attire. With each garment that hit the floor, her breathing grew shallower, and I thought I might come just hearing her aroused excitement.
When she stood before me stripped naked, I took her into my arms and kissed her again. With her warm, soft body flush with mine, the thought of riding her bare flitted through my thoughts. It made me want her closer just as much as it made me question my sanity. I hadn’t been inside a woman without a condom since I was twenty-one years old. Why it felt necessary with Theodora was another mystery I didn’t have the patience to solve just then.
I shoved the thought aside as I broke our kiss and jerked my chin toward the bed. “Lay down.”
Teddy nodded and crawled over the duvet as I headed to my nightstand for a condom. Still reeling from my previous train of thought, I climbed onto the bed after her, but immediately rolled her onto her belly. I wanted to feel her. I wanted to own her. I wanted to make her wild with pleasure—but I didn’t want to see it in her eyes. Whatever desires I was questioning within myself, it made me shun even the possibility of some sort of heighted sense of vulnerability. I was certain if I let her, she would split me wide open. Instead, I acted intent on chasing pleasure, and pleasure alone.
So focused on getting what I wanted, I didn’t notice when her temperament changed. I wasn’t cognizant of the way her spine stiffened, or how her shallow breaths morphed from a soundtrack of her longing to that of her panic. It wasn’t until I was poised to enter her that I heard her whimper, “Danyl.”
My entire body froze at the sound of my name. It took me a second to return to the moment, to become entirely aware of the woman beneath me. When I sat up and rested on my hunches, she was quick to turn onto her back. What I saw in her eyes was not desire, but the haunted expression of a woman who’d seen a ghost.
Her breasts rose and fell with her heaving breaths. “Not like that. Please,” she whispered, her last word a broken plea.
Staring down at her, I was no longer capable of thinking only of myself—of chasing only pleasure. I saw a choice which needed to be made. My options were to be angry at the man who was to blame for the fear which shone in her gaze; to be irate at the reality of her triggers and the ways in which they intruded upon what we did and how in my bed. Or, there was the alternative—my choice to confront her demons; to sink inside of her, to bring her back to me, and to be her safe place.
I lowered myself over her once more, propping myself above her on my forearms as I fit my hips between her legs. Staring into her eyes, I waited for her to come back to me. I thrust my hips, rubbing my heavy, hardened length between her slick folds, and she drew in a deep breath.
“It’s me, sweetheart.”
“I know,” she whispered, reaching for my face. “I know, I’m sorry.”
I traced my nose alongside hers as I lifted my hips. When I found my way into her blindly, I muttered, “Don’t apologize.”
She hitched her legs up on either side of me, allowing me to go deeper. The feel of her sex—tight, warm, and inviting—coupled with the expression on her face was my undoing. I brought my lips to hers, needing to taste her, desperate for the distraction as well as the pleasure. At first, I took her slow. With each rock of my hips, I couldn’t have said if my pace was for me or for her; if the affection between us was a consequence or a choice; if the vulnerability captured in every sigh or moan was chasing me or I it. All I knew for certain was that Teddy was a well I could drink from without end, and yet it still wouldn’t be enough.
She broke our kiss with a gasp. When I saw the fire take light in her eyes, I fucked her until she was calling my name—Judah.
Chapter Fourteen
“Do I look all right?”
Fastening on my wristwatch, I peered over my shoulder and saw Teddy standing just beyond the entrance of the closet. She tugged at the hem of her denim, collared shirt and then smoothed her hands down the front of her over-sized, beige, cable knit sweater. The black jeans she wore hugged her thin legs, and her ankles were bare above her leopard print, slip-on shoes. Her wavy, red locks were pulled back into a large, loose bun at the nape of her neck. Aside from her incessant fidgeting, she looked as naturally gorgeous as she always did.
“Yes,” I replied matter-of-factly.
“Are you sure it’s not too…” She paused and gave me a once over.
We spent the majority of the day in our underwear. Rather, me in mine and her in my old, faded Cubs t-shirt. Before that day, I couldn’t remember the last time I strolled through the hours so nonchalantly. I was sure I never felt so sated and relaxed. Now, as the dinner hour drew near, I was dressed in a pair of charcoal gray slacks, a slim-knit, black turtleneck sweater, and dress boots.
“I should have packed a dress or something,” Teddy mumbled self-consciously.
I quirked an eyebrow at her and replied, “We’re going for Tex-Mex. I think a dress would have been overdoing it.”
“Not if your Aunt Eddalyn shows up looking like you.”
“She does own jeans.”
“Right. Okay. I’m just—” She cut herself off and anxiously swept her fingers across her forehead. “I’m just nervous.”
Turning toward her, I closed the distance between us and assured her, “That’s unnecessary.”
“What if she doesn’t like me?”
A smirk tugged at the corner of my mouth at the thought. I knew Eddalyn would take one look at her and offer a consent for which I wasn’t even in the market. Whatever purity Teddy possessed in her essence, it was impossible to miss and even harder to dismiss.
I snaked my arm around her waist and held her against me. “She will.”
“But what if—”
“What if nothing. I’m not looking for her permission to be with you. I am with you. Her opinion, whatever it may be, will change nothing. Tonight’s dinner is just that. Dinner.”
“Easy for you to say,” she argued, resting her hands against my chest. “You’re you. Brilliant and handsome and a parent’s dream.”
“I am no one’s dream. Let’s not pretend I wasn’t exactly what your parents were expecting.”
“Because you’re older and established. You were a little bit of a surprise, that’s all. What will Eddalyn say about—”
I cut her off with a kiss. My lips still grazing hers, I mumbled, “Enough. That’s enough. You’re my choice, and this dinner won’t change that. Are we understood?”
She leaned into me then and nodded her head slightly in response.
“Good.” I kissed her once more, then reached down to pinch the side of her ass. “Let’s go.”
Twenty minutes later, I parked the Porsche a half a block away from our destination. When we both got out of the vehicle and stepped up onto the sidewalk, I offered Teddy my elbow. She took it immediately. The closer we got to our destination, the tighter her grip became. I glanced down at her, my mind made up that she’d be having a margarita with our meal. Whatever nerves she combatted were as I told her—unnecessary—and I hoped my aunt’s company and a measure of tequila would calm her down.
When we entered the establishment, I spotted Eddalyn right away. She was sitting on a bench across
from the hostess stand, one jean-clad leg folded over the other as she focused her attention on her phone. The button-up shirt she wore was crisp, the pattern a vertical striped white and blue, and I was slightly relieved she wasn’t in a dress.
There was something about the expression on her face which clued me into the possibility of it being work which kept her distracted, but that didn’t stop me from interrupting.
“Aunt Eddalyn,” I muttered, escorting Teddy toward her.
Eddalyn looked up immediately. Her blue eyes met mine before instantly settling on Teddy. The smile which curved her lips as she stood was unabashed, and I felt Teddy’s grip around my arm loosen a little at the sight.
“Hello,” she greeted cheerfully. Without a second glance, Eddalyn dropped her phone into her purse and reached for Teddy’s hand. “You must be Theodora.”
“Hi, Ms. St. Michaels,” Teddy responded politely, accepting my aunt’s gesture.
“Please,” Eddalyn went on to say as she wrapped both her hands around Teddy’s. “Do call me Edda. I believe the woman who has managed to steal my nephew’s heart has more than earned the right.”
Peering up at me with a blush, Teddy fought a grin before she shifted her attention back onto Eddalyn. She then replied, “You can call me Teddy, if you’d like.”
“I’ll do that,” she said, finally letting go of Teddy’s hand. “Hello to you, too, Judah,” she added with a mischievous expression I knew not how to interpret. Before I could think on it, she told us, “Our table’s ready. Shall we?”
It wasn’t long before the two of them were sipping frozen margaritas while I nursed a scotch on the rocks. I found myself in and out of the conversation, depending on the topic. When I wasn’t listening, I couldn’t help but to admire Teddy. She hung on Eddalyn’s every word. Watching them fascinated me as much as it satisfied me. I knew what it meant to appreciate my aunt; to soak up whatever knowledge and wisdom she was apt to share. Yet, to see that same respect and appreciation from the woman who frequented my bed—it was foreign to me. It stirred something within, something a lot higher than my crotch, and I would have been a liar to admit anything different.
While I remained an observant third party throughout dinner, I wasn’t left out of the conversation entirely—both women intent on dragging me back into it often. As we enjoyed our meal, the level of camaraderie between all three of us was both unexpected and comfortable. Yet, in spite of the welcomed atmosphere I felt in their company, I was relieved when the bill arrived. Teddy and I needed a change of scenery. It seemed she was capable of making me quite insatiable, and I wasn’t sorry about it.
As we stood to take our leave, Teddy excused herself to the restroom. The silence that passed between Eddalyn and I on our way to the front of the restaurant was dense with all she was holding back. I glanced at her expectantly, hoping she would take advantage of our fleeting moment alone.
“Judah, she’s lovely,” she stated simply.
“I know,” I replied, slipping my hands into my pant pockets.
“She is younger than I imagined; though, that’s not a critique. Just an observation.”
We came to a stop, and I lifted my eyebrows at her when she didn’t offer me more.
“That’s all?” I queried. “She’s lovely and young, that’s all you have to say?”
She hummed a laugh and shook her head at me. “I have plenty more to say, but it doesn’t matter. You’re not ready to hear a bit of it.”
I reared my head back in surprise. “And when, exactly, will you deem me ready for this mysterious information?” I asked with a slight frown.
“Oh, that’s entirely up to you. Whenever you’re ready to admit the truth.”
“What truth?”
She only smiled at me before she went on to say, “I imagine you should expect a call from your mother in the coming week.”
I hesitated to respond, studying her until I realized whatever truth she had referenced was not one on which she’d elaborate, regardless of how hard I stared. After I replayed her last statement in my mind, I sighed and replied, “At least do me the courtesy of speaking only to my mother. Don’t mention this to Benjamin, or I’ll never hear the end of it.”
Aunt Eddalyn laughed again. As she jerked her chin in the direction of the restrooms, she said, “Something tells me you have another informant you need to keep quiet to prevent your brother from finding out. I’m not the only one with a sister.”
I glanced that way just as Teddy began to approach. She headed straight for me and reached for my hand as she came to a stop. Ignoring the burgeoning smile on Aunt Eddalyn’s face, I curled my fingers around Teddy’s and prompted our farewells.
“I do hope we can see each other again, soon,” insisted Eddalyn.
“Me, too. It was great to meet you.”
“You both enjoy what’s left of your evening. Judah, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
We parted ways, Teddy and I headed in one direction and Aunt Eddalyn in another. When we were out of earshot of each other, Teddy squeezed my hand and murmured, “Thank you.”
“For what?” I asked, looking down at her.
“For dinner. For letting me meet your Aunt Eddalyn. I know she means a lot to you.”
“She does.”
Silence settled between us again, and my thoughts began to drift toward the plans I had for the rest of the night. I was soon interrupted when Teddy began to speak, catching me off guard with her chosen topic of conversation.
“Does your mom ever get jealous? I mean, of the relationship you have with her sister?”
Knitting my eyebrows together, I replied, “In a word, yes. Sometimes. But it’s complicated. Aunt Eddalyn and I are more than family, we’re business partners. We’re like minded in many ways. It’s not personal.”
“What about your stepfather? Do you get along with him?”
“He’s fine,” I said with a shrug. “Why?”
“I don’t know. You never—well, you hardly talk about them. I’m just curious.”
“You hardly speak of yours, either,” I retorted, sounding more defensive than I would have liked.
“It’s because—I don’t know.” She paused and brought her free hand up to wrap around the inside of my elbow as she walked closer to me. “When I have mentioned them in passing, you seem a little uncomfortable. But now you’ve met them.”
“Where are you going with this, Teddy?”
Her grip around both my hand and my arm loosened. “Nowhere,” she murmured. “Never mind.”
I stopped in front of the Porsche, gently tightening my hold around her fingers. The last thing I wanted was to take this conversation home with me. “Theodora.” As I spoke her name, I took hold of her chin with my free hand, beckoning her to look at me. “What?”
“I just—I want to know you. I want to know all of you.”
I didn’t know how to respond to her answer. It wasn’t the first time a woman had said as much—but it was the first time in a decade I wasn’t repulsed by her desire. Unsure how else to express my thoughts, I brought my lips to hers in a firm, chaste kiss. It was all I could give her. On that downtown sidewalk, as the sun set, it was all I had.
Chapter Fifteen
It was late on Tuesday morning when a mechanic, with permanently stained hands and a gruff disposition, came to deliver Theodora’s car keys. Interrupted from her busy state, it took her a moment to fully grasp what was happening.
“Sign here, please,” the mechanic insisted with a straight face.
The man didn’t offer her a pen, but Theodora was quick to retrieve one as she asked, “Do I pay you now or—”
“The bill’s been settled.”
Theodora froze, frowning at the man halfway through her signature. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, I’ve come to drop off the car and keys, that’s all.”
“But—wait—how much was it?”
“I don’t know. You’ll have to call the dealership.” He jerked his chi
n, signaling his impatience for her to finish signing.
Theodora shook her head, as if to clear it, and glided her pen across the paper until her name was complete. She hardly had a chance to straighten her posture before the mechanic was headed for the exit.
“Good day,” he mumbled.
“Wha—” Theodora’s word didn’t make it past the tip of her tongue as she watched him leave. Her lips still parted and poised to inquire for some answers, she shook her head in disbelief.
“How rude,” she muttered.
“Who’s rude?” asked Geoffrey unsuspectingly.
Theodora turned to face him, holding up her key as he approached. “My car was just delivered.”
“Great,” he said, his tone wrapped in what one would assume was the appropriate amount of enthusiasm for such good news. “So, you won’t need a ride home.”
“Not the point,” she insisted as she gave her key a shake.
Geoffrey, immediately noting her disposition, quirked an eyebrow at her in response.
“I don’t even know what was wrong with it, let alone how much it cost—and that guy just told me it was already paid for.”
Her best friend chuckled and lifted a single shoulder in a shrug. “Are you surprised? You told me how adamant Judah was about paying for the tow. Now he’s just showing off.”
Scowling at the thought, Theodora replied, “Oh, my gosh.”
It was as obvious an explanation as Geoffrey’s quick response implied. Even still, it took her a second to wrap her mind around the thought. Then, her words falling from her lips in a stammer, she said, “I don’t—I don’t need him to show off like that. I mean—flowers and dry-cleaning are one thing. Rescuing me from the side of the road, like any self-respecting boyfriend would do—that—that’s another thing. But—paying for the repairs on my car?”
As she stared at her key, she tried to make sense of what Judah might have been thinking. With a muted gasp, she lifted her gaze to find Geoffrey’s. “Do you think he thinks I couldn’t afford it?”