by A. K. Evans
“Yeah,” I confirmed. “I am so happy to be away from the hotel. It’s such a different vibe for me now, which has been great for my mood.”
Nodding her head, she replied, “I’d been noticing that about you the last couple of times you visited. You always seemed like you had something weighing heavily on your mind. I’m glad that you’re happier now.”
“I like it,” I told her. “The best part is that I’ve already talked to Cal about transitioning myself away from being in the actual bar so that I can just start working from home unless there’s an event happening. Obviously, I’ll be there to help prepare for those, but there isn’t anything I’m doing at the bar that I can’t do at home.”
My mother smiled at me. “That sounds incredible. All that matters is that you’re happy doing what you’re doing.”
I shrugged. I couldn’t say that I grew up thinking that this was going to be my job, but I’d always loved music, so this was a much better fit for me than my previous job.
“Yeah, and it’s been crazy, too, because My Violent Heart did an impromptu performance just over two weeks ago,” I explained. “Ever since, there has been a lot of interest from other bands. Cal does really well on nights when he’s got a live band playing, so the more of them we can get, the better.”
“Pat mentioned that a big band played there,” Mom returned, passing a plate in my direction. “Were you there for that?”
“Thanks,” I replied, pulling the plate closer to me. “And yes, I was there.”
I wanted to tell her that the reason they played there was because the lead singer had negotiated it after he showed up there looking for me, but I didn’t think that was the way to bring up the subject of Cash.
“That must have been so exciting to see them perform live,” she started. “I don’t listen to their music, but I have heard the name. They’re a big deal, aren’t they?”
Yep. They were.
And she was going to go crazy when she learned that I was on a first-name basis with Cash.
“They are,” I confirmed. “They’re actually in the middle of a tour right now, but they’re coming back to Finch to play at Granite once their tour is over.”
“Wow. I don’t think Pat knew that. She was still gushing over how great it was going for Granite, in general, and of course, the fact that Cal is now officially with Sam.”
I let out a laugh.
My mom met Sam a couple years ago. From the very beginning, she said that she thought Cal and Sam would make a great couple. Apparently, Aunt Pat felt the same.
We all did.
Because the love they had for one another was unlike anything I’d ever seen in my life. That kind of love was rare, and I couldn’t have been happier that the two of them found it.
“Well, Sam’s T-shirt business is doing incredibly well right now, too,” I shared. “Cal had her bring a bunch of shirts to the bar that night, and then two members of My Violent Heart ended up wearing them on stage. One week later, things exploded for her. That’s another reason I’d like to start working from home. What I’m doing for Cal doesn’t require eight hours of work, five days a week. I can help Sam with getting some of her administrative stuff handled.”
I lifted my sandwich to my mouth and took a bite as my mom responded, “That’s incredible. Who would have thought?”
“I know,” I replied through a mouthful of food.
As we ate our sandwiches and finished up our lunch, my mom filled me in on everything that had been going on in her life since the last time we had the chance to sit down and talk like this.
Not much had changed in her world. She still went to work, did her thing, and kept herself busy. Earlier this year, she’d taken up gardening and was enjoying learning all the ins and outs of her new hobby. It was really great to see her face light up when she talked about all the things that she’d grown in the last few months.
After we finished our food and she’d shared all that was going on in her life, my mom asked, “So, what else is going on with you besides work?”
This was the golden opportunity. When I’d reached out to my mom and told her I wanted to come visit her today, I did it not only because I missed her but also because I wanted to ask her something. I just hoped what I wanted to discuss wasn’t going to upset her.
“Can I talk to you about something?” I asked.
“Anything. What’s going on?” she responded.
I hesitated briefly, wondering if this was smart. The last thing I wanted to do was bring up painful memories for her, but I needed her advice. I wanted her perspective. I knew what she went through following my father’s cheating because I watched as she worked through that heartbreak. But now that I had this whole situation with Cash, I felt compelled to get her opinion.
“Was it worth it?” I finally said.
A crease formed between her brows. “Was what worth it?”
“Risking your heart and losing it all to my father,” I clarified.
Her head tipped to the side as her features softened. “Oh, Demi, where is this coming from?” she asked, her voice gentle.
“I just want to know,” I rasped.
“I have you,” she declared.
“Okay?” I responded, curiosity in my tone. That didn’t explain anything.
Luckily, she realized I was confused and explained, “I’d go through the pain of your father’s infidelity a million times if it meant that I was going to have you in the end.”
Well, there it was.
She’d risk her heart like that to have me.
“Demi?” she called.
“Yeah?”
“What’s going on?” she pressed.
I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes as I blew it out. When I opened my eyes, I swallowed hard and focused my attention on her. Then I shared, “There’s a guy that I think I like, but he terrifies me.”
“How so?”
Shaking my head, I said, “I don’t trust any of them. Men, that is. You know that. If Dad couldn’t be faithful, why would anyone else?”
My mom reached out and grabbed ahold of my hand. Squeezing it, she rasped, “Demi, I’m so sorry about what happened. I don’t think I ever told you that. You never deserved to go through that, and you definitely didn’t need to walk in on it.”
I let out a laugh. “I don’t think you’re the one that needs to apologize for it,” I noted.
“But I’m your mother,” she said. “And it was my job to protect you from that. I can’t go back and change it, and I wish I could. Not for myself, though. I’d want to fix it for you. Because I’ve seen what it did to you. The fact that you’ve gone all these years and never had a serious boyfriend and that you’re now asking me if taking that risk was worth it.”
“I don’t want to get hurt,” I admitted, my throat tight.
Nodding her understanding, she replied, “I know. Nobody does. But falling in love is beautiful.”
I was so far away from falling in love. The thought terrified me.
“It’s scary.”
“Of course, it is. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t experience it. If there is one thing I want for you in this life, Demi, it’s for you to experience romantic love,” she said. “I know what happened when you were just a teenager changed the way you look at love, but I promise you it can be worth it. Even after all that happened, I still don’t regret falling in love with your father.”
I let out a huge sigh. Over the years, I’d purposely avoided talking to my mom a whole lot about what happened. While it was always a very horrible memory for me to recall, I assumed it was painful for her.
I’m sure it was.
But to know now that she didn’t regret all that she’d had with him made me feel a little bit better. The bottom line was that she was here now, and she was doing well. So while she had gone through something horrible, she still came out the other side with a smile on her face.
Following a long stretch of silence, my mom urged, “Tell me abo
ut this guy.”
Instantly, I felt a smile tug at the corners of my mouth. “You’re never going to believe this,” I told her.
Her brows shot up, silently questioning me.
I ignored that and shared, “He’s probably the worst possible choice I could make for myself considering my current stance on romantic relationships.”
“Why?”
“Because he’s Cash Morris, the lead singer of My Violent Heart,” I told her.
My mom’s eyes nearly fell out of her head. “Are you serious?”
I nodded. “Yes.”
“What? How?”
Shaking my head slowly because I understood her disbelief, I said, “I’ve turned him down so many times, but he’s a persistent man.”
She grinned at me. “I love that.”
“I was kind of hoping you’d tell me that I need to be careful and really reconsider even thinking about proceeding with him,” I pleaded.
“No way,” she declared as she sat up taller with a smile on her face. “No way am I going to tell you that this isn’t a good idea because I’d be lying. Why would you want me to do that?”
“Because not only would this be brand-new territory for me, but it’s also brand-new territory with a man like him,” I answered. “I feel like this could have a very bad outcome.”
My worries didn’t seem to affect my mother’s mood in the slightest. In fact, this whole conversation had taken a turn I hadn’t expected.
“So, are you officially dating him?” she pressed.
“No. I just… well, we’ve spoken on the phone a few times over the last week or so,” I started. “Initially, I communicated with him via email because I had refused to give him my number. But I eventually realized how tedious that was going to be, so I called him from the bar.”
“You mean, he still doesn’t have your number?”
I shook my head.
“Why not?”
Shrugging my shoulders, I answered honestly, “I’m just being stubborn at this point.”
And I knew that I was.
I didn’t know why. I guess I was trying to hold on to some sliver of control because I felt like I didn’t have any when Cash was around.
But the truth was that now that I’d talked to him on the phone several times over the last week, the more I felt like I wanted to give him my number.
Part of me wanted to take a chance and give myself the opportunity to see what he’d do with it. Would he put in the effort to call? Would he reach out at least as often as he sent me emails?
I never thought in a million years that I’d ever get to a place where I wanted to have a man woo me, but here I was, wanting that from Cash.
“Take a chance, Demi,” my mom urged. “It could be the best decision of your life.”
“It could also be the worst,” I countered.
She shook her head. “It won’t ever be that,” she insisted. “Maybe it won’t work out, but I promise that if nothing else, you will learn something from it. Truthfully, if this guy has any brains in his head, he won’t do a damn thing to screw it up because you are the best he’ll ever get.”
“He’s a rock star, Mom,” I reminded her. “He could have just about anyone he wants.”
“Yep. And you’re the best he could ever hope to get,” she maintained.
I rolled my eyes at her, but I did it with a smile on my face.
Before I could say anything in response to that, my mom demanded, “Okay, show me some pictures of this guy. I don’t listen to their music, so I don’t think I know what he looks like.”
And just like that, the conversation that I thought might end up with at least one, if not both, of us, in tears was anything but.
We laughed.
We joked.
We had the best time.
Hours later, when I got in the car to head back home, I pulled out my phone and tapped out a text.
Me: I hope your show goes well tonight. -Demi
There.
I did it.
Cash had my number. There was no turning back now.
Surprisingly, as I drove home with a smile on my face, I realized I didn’t want to anyway.
Thirteen
Cash
“I’m beat.”
That came from Walker.
“Agreed,” I said from beside him.
We had all just piled into the limo that was taking us back to our hotel for the night. We’d just played our fourth show in five days. It was Sunday night, or technically, early Monday morning, and we’d all decided that after tonight’s performance we needed to head back to our hotel.
Not only were we exhausted but we were also leaving California early Monday afternoon and beginning our trek back to the east coast. If there was any hope of making sure we were all ready to go on time, we couldn’t risk a night out.
Then again, with the exception of Roscoe and Killian, I wasn’t sure anyone could have handled an all-nighter. Maybe handle wasn’t the correct word. I had no doubt that any one of us could manage it, but the reality was that we didn’t want to.
Of course, a lot of it made sense now. Holland and Walker often called it quits early; though, I think they’d put some distance between their departure from a night out so nobody got suspicious.
For me, I’d always been right there alongside Roscoe and Killian. But now that I’d met Demi, I no longer had that same desire to go out on the prowl.
And Beck… well, he could go either way. Some days he was all about it, and other times, he wasn’t. It just depended on what his mood was like.
“I think these last few days were the worst of it for us,” Beck chimed in.
“Yeah, and it’ll be nice to have a slightly longer stretch between shows once we make it back to Pennsylvania,” Holland added.
“At least the fans here made it all worth it,” Killian declared.
There was a round of nods from all of us as I said, “No arguments there.”
That had been the case. Obviously, we all loved what we did. But in the moments when we started to feel the strain of a long tour, we had to find ways to look at the positives. More often than not, we always found that with our fans.
It was hard to be upset, frustrated, or anything but grateful when we were able to live out our dreams of being on stage when we had thousands of screaming fans who were excited about seeing our performance.
“And the groupies made it even better,” Roscoe blurted.
At that, we all burst out laughing. That was Roscoe. He had zero problem finding the absolute best in every situation. As was not uncommon for him, as long as he had music, booze, women, friends, and fans, he’d play music every night. The man enjoyed this life in every aspect and loved all that came with it. Sometimes, it was a little too much love.
Though, right now, I felt the tiniest twinge of jealousy. There hadn’t been a shortage of physical intimacy for Roscoe on the tour. On the other hand, I was in a drought. I felt like I’d been stranded in the middle of the desert for months. I just wanted one tiny sip of water.
“Holland’s right,” Walker began after we’d all settled down. “Even though we still have a couple shows, it’ll be nice to be back home and have those few days to relax and enjoy some time off.”
While I didn’t disagree with the sentiment, I couldn’t help but notice how he had brought Holland into it. Had he always done that?
It was far too late, and I was entirely too wiped out to think about it.
“Anyone up for a beer in the hotel bar?” Roscoe added.
Killian immediately answered, “I’m down.”
“Ah, why not?” Beck agreed.
It was like they’d all done a one-eighty.
“I’m out,” Walker said.
“Me too,” Holland replied.
When all their eyes came to me, I shook my head.
“Fuck, Cash, are you still holding out hope that Demi’s going to change her mind about you?” Killian asked.
“She
has,” I declared.
“What?” Holland gasped.
Shaking my head because I knew she misunderstood, I explained, “Technically, she hasn’t. But I have been talking to her on the phone for the last week.”
“Really?” Walker asked.
I nodded.
“After all this time, she finally gave you her number,” Roscoe proudly announced. “I’m so happy for you.”
“Thanks, jackass,” I shot back.
I couldn’t bring myself to tell them that Demi hadn’t technically given me her number. God, that would have been embarrassing. It hadn’t ever taken me this long. Hell, it hadn’t ever come close to being this long. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I had to have set some world record. Surely, this was not normal.
A few minutes later, we pulled up outside the hotel. We’d barely gotten out of the limo when a group of women came up to us.
We entertained them for a few moments, taking pictures and signing autographs. Eventually, we made our way inside, where Beck, Roscoe, and Killian took off toward the bar while Holland, Walker, and I made our way to the elevators.
Once it had made it to our floor and the doors opened, I had to go in one direction while they went in the other.
“See you in the morning,” I said.
“Good night, Cash,” Holland replied.
“Later,” Walker returned.
I started moving down the hall and felt the corners of my mouth twitch. Walker and Holland had us all fooled. Or, they used to.
Whatever.
Right now, things were good in the band. If they were happy and whatever they had going on between them wasn’t affecting the rest of us, more power to them.
I made it to my room, pushed inside, and let out a deep sigh.
My goal was to shower, pack up my things, and get to bed. I didn’t want to have to worry about packing in the morning because Demi typically called me on her lunch break, which was early morning here. There was not a chance I was missing her call or being distracted when it came in, especially when I hadn’t had a chance to talk to her all weekend. Since she didn’t go into the bar on the weekend to work, unless there was a band playing—in which case she’d be tied up with that—I quickly became aware I wasn’t going to hear from her on Saturdays or Sundays. That realization yesterday morning had been humbling, to say the least.