Tito rushed toward us, coming in between us again.
“We have an agreement,” he said, pushing his glasses further up his nose. He was much smaller than us, shorter and thinner, but he was more respected than all of us put together in this room. To stand next to him was like standing next to an immovable, impenetrable wall. You didn’t fuck with him.
“For now,” Rocco said, fixing his suit again. “Rules are void when a man is not alive to enforce them.”
“If it’s the last thing I do on my deathbed,” I said. “These rules will stick.”
He knew how serious I was being then.
“There are worse men than me for a woman,” he said, and then left.
Romeo squeezed my shoulder before he followed his brother. Guido looked at me and shook his head.
Tito stood in front of me, forcing my eyes on him. “It makes you think, does it not? If you keep up this foolishness, chasing after old ghosts, who will be here to take care of your family if something happens to you?”
I narrowed my eyes on him. “That’s our life,” I said. “The fucker in this club or the fucker on the corner who pulls the trigger—the bullet goes in the same way, and I don’t come out alive.”
He studied my face. “The product of this life, through and through,” he said. “I treat grown men who are dying daily. I see and hear all types. Some men cry for their mammas. Some men are angry, because anger hides true fear. But you—men like you—you wake up with acceptance.
“‘If it is not this knife in my back, it will be this bullet in my heart.’ However. You are in a position that is not like the rest. You have earned the right not to constantly have a dagger over your head, or a gun pointed at your heart. Why waste it on what happened years ago?”
I didn’t answer.
He sighed and shook his head. “What Corrado Palermo did was against the rules,” he said. “He tried to kill his boss without permission. He failed. It kills me to even say his name, but Arturo had every right to seek retribution for what Corrado Palermo had tried to do—but only on Corrado Palermo, not his family. It was his right as a boss. Just as it is yours. You of all people should understand the rules. You practice them every day, and now, you enforce them.”
“Why do you care?” I said. “What does this have to do with you?”
“There is so much to lose here,” he said, shaking his head. “And even more to gain, if you would only stop focusing on the past and look toward the future.” He hesitated for a minute or two. “Your sister. The one they never found. What about her? Why haven’t you looked for her?”
I shrugged. “He took that away from me, too. The chance to get to know her. To have someone who shared my blood. But it doesn’t matter. If she’s still alive, she’s better off not being involved in this life. She escaped once. She should count her blessings.”
“If he saved her life? What then?”
I had considered that from the beginning. My answer was still the same. “Doesn’t change a fucking thing. That entire family needs to go. You give ’em an inch and they take a mile.” If he had sons, I’d find them when they were older and take care of them, too.
Tito became quiet for a minute. Then he opened his mouth to say something but closed it on a snap.
“Speak your mind,” I said. “It’s not like you to hold back.”
“A waste of my time,” he said, straightening up. “It would not change anything if I did.” He waved me off. “Tell your wife that Lola and I will be by to see her and the baby soon. Lola is complaining pictures are not enough.”
He walked out then, but with a different energy than he had when he had come in. He seemed almost defeated.
I took out my phone and pressed a button. Once in, I scrolled through my pictures, a grin coming to my face.
He was right about one thing. Just like her mamma, pictures did not do my Eleonora justice, but instead of smiling at me like her mamma did when I came home, she cried.
31
Alcina
Mamma stared at me while I did the dishes. I scrubbed a little and then loaded. She stood next to me, like she was going to help, but instead she watched my face. Anna danced around the kitchen with Ele before bed.
“Cosa c'è, mamma?” I whispered. I had no idea why she kept staring at me.
She acted like I had not said a word when Corrado came into the kitchen and kissed her and then me on the cheek. He thanked us for a wonderful dinner. Then he said he had some business to attend to.
He had been cold to me ever since the morning Ele had cried when he’d picked her up. He said very little to me, and when he fucked me, it was hard and ruthless, like he could reach me through his anger and change something. Even the kiss he gave me was hard.
I did not know what he wanted me to change. If he wanted Ele to stop crying when he picked her up, I suggested that he be there with her sometimes during the day. I could tell her how wonderful her father was when she started to grow. I could show her by the way I looked at him, but someday, he would have to prove it to her. That he loved her. That he would always be there for her. I could not do that for him.
He playfully touched her chin and then kissed her cheek. She turned her face, and then he left. She started to giggle at Anna right after, when she started to kiss her cheeks and dance even more.
Even though the house was empty—Corrado’s nonna had gone to spend time with her sister’s daughter—except for the men watching it, it felt fuller than it ever had, but not complete. It felt complete when my husband was here, even for a few hours every day.
Mamma started to take the dishes from me. “The hardest years of marriage are the second and third,” she said. “The first year the flesh is more than happy, but it takes time to build the bones. How all of the arms and legs will work together, ah? This one goes this way, while the other tries to go another.”
“It is like a really long version of that game,” Anna said. “The one where one person’s leg is tied to another’s. You have to figure out how to win together. You will fall a couple of times, but it is the getting up that counts.” She blew against Ele’s cheeks, and she giggled so loud that we all laughed.
If our life was only that simple. If only trying to figure out how we worked together was a fun game. If we fell in this life, it was not as simple as just getting back on our feet and trying again. Mistakes were debts owed in blood.
Mamma and Anna had no idea that Corrado wanted to kill our own blood and his sister’s husband either.
Ele started to cry, so I dried my hands and took her from Anna while she helped mamma with the dishes. She was a healthy eater, with little rolls, and I lost myself in her while I watched her eat and then fall asleep. I knew she would probably be more comfortable in her bed, but I decided to hold her while Anna started to get the card game ready.
Even after the game was over and we went upstairs to watch a movie, I felt more secure with her in the room with me.
Mamma and Anna both fell asleep in our bed. I laughed quietly, noticing that mamma had stuck a gummy candy to Anna’s forehead. She had fallen asleep first.
My laughter did not last long. Soon, the quietness of the house closed in, and the heaviness in my heart weighed on my mind. I turned away from mamma and Anna, staring at the candle beside the bed. I put my palm over it, watching the flame waver when I moved it back and forth.
My eyes must have closed for a minute or two, and my heart raced when I realized I had left the candle lit.
A shadow moved across the wall, stealing my attention, the soft light highlighting the shape of a person.
“Mamma?” I whispered.
I put my hand behind me. She was still there, between Anna and me. I sat up some, checking on Ele, who was at the foot of the bed in her own bed. I looked to my right. Anna was still asleep. Her hand was on her forehead, the candy squished between.
My heart sped up even more, and it felt like it had lodged in my throat as I went to rush to the bottom of the bed to g
rab my baby. A hand wrapped around my mouth and flung my head back. It hit the pillow, but my entire body went to move forward again, to fight him off.
Whoever it was stunk like garbage. His eyes were wide in the glow of the candle. “I’m not here to hurt you,” he said, pressing a gun to my temple. “I want your husband. If you be quiet, I’ll take my hand from your mouth.”
I said nothing, staring at him. After a few seconds had gone by, he released my mouth tentatively, to see if I was going to scream. I didn’t make a sound.
“Good girl,” he whispered. He tucked the gun behind his back. “Now tell me where your husband—”
Before he could finish his sentence, I took the candle from beside the bed and flung the hot wax in his face. He put his hands up to shield himself, but it was too late. He growled when the wax clung and stuck.
“What is—”
“Correre, Mamma!”
It only took her a second, but she got to the end of the bed and snatched Ele, while Anna, out of nowhere, flung herself on his back. He slammed her against the wall, pinning her against it, and the crack of it made me stop. I was making sure mamma and Ele got into the safe room. Corrado had showed them the same thing he had showed me. They each had a room of their own.
“Help her!” Mamma shouted, while she ducked into the fireplace.
“Close it!” I screamed. Ele started to wail, and my breasts tightened and started to leak.
Mamma didn’t know what to do.
“Close it!” I said again, this time more forcefully.
She nodded and the door closed. The crying stopped immediately and all went quiet.
I took slow steps toward the fireplace, my eyes darting to my sister, who was on the floor. A dark pool of blood started to form around her head, spreading on the wood.
“Why did you have to go and do that?” He took his gun out, pointing it at me. His face was covered in hardened wax. “I told you. I want your husband, not you.” He shot past me, a whizzing sound coming from the gun, hitting the mirror behind my head. It shattered all over the floor. “Stop right where you are. I’ve heard stories about you, woman. You’re a fucking witch. You’ll make a man’s balls disappear.”
I cleared my throat, hoping it would come out even when I spoke. “My husband is not home,” I said.
He waved the gun. “Put your hands up. I want to see them at all times.”
I did, and took a small step back.
He narrowed his eyes. “I didn’t come here to hurt you, but I fucking will. I said don’t move.”
I did not trust a word coming out of his mouth. If he had the balls to come into this house, he was not going to waste the opportunity and leave empty-handed, if my husband was not home.
As if he could read my mind, he grinned and pulled a rope from his back pocket. “I taught your husband that. Never waste an opportunity.” He stared to unroll the rope from its lasso. “He started his life with me, did he tell you that?”
I shook my head, stealing another glance at Anna. I could smell the blood in the room. It was making me anxious to get to her. I had to keep calm, though, keep my eyes on him, because something told me he was much smarter than he looked.
“He did. He was just a kid when he started out in my crew. It didn’t take him long to move up. Your husband, he’s a smart motherfucker, I’ll give him that much. He made the family some money, but then again, he had an in. Silvio and me, we worked for this family since we were young. Years and years, and this is what we get? That position belonged to Silvio. And if not Silvio, me.” He stabbed a finger at his chest. “So, it’s either kill your husband or hide for the rest of my life.”
He laughed some, and I stopped trying to take small steps backwards when he suddenly stopped.
“This life is so political. You bust your ass—take the rap, rough the guy up, kill the guy, fucking burn down a building for the insurance—and where does it get you? Hiding out in someone’s fucking trash like a rat, ready for the right time to make your move on the—” he made air quotes, still holding the gun and the rope “—boss. You married the rich grandfather’s grandson, is all you did, witchy lady.”
“Get the fuck out of my house,” I snapped.
“You makin’ demands on me?” He pointed to his chest, the rope dangling. He lifted the gun, pointing it at me. “Who’s got the gun?”
“You fucking rat bastard,” I said, my voice starting to shake when Anna moaned.
He laughed. “He must have the men staying far away from this room. That’s why they haven’t riddled me with bullets. Martina was right. He’s fucking worried you’ll find a new him and leave. What a pussy. I heard he stopped fucking all the girls, too. You really must be a witch. You got some voodoo going.” He tucked the gun in again.
“By the way, after this, I’d stay away from Martina. She told me how to get in this place, and that you’d be all alone tonight. The family left with the old lady. Now if you’ll just play nice with me for a little while, while we get the fuck outta here—”
He started to advance on me, and I started to move back as fast I could, until my back slammed against the mantle of the fireplace. I went to turn around and he grabbed me by the hair, yanking my head back. The hair tie slipped out of his grip, and I was able to reach under the mantle again, my fingers clawing the wood to get my hands on the hidden gun underneath. He yanked me back again, before I could get to it. They slipped and I lost my grip.
“I’m not dying over you, lady,” he said, hitting me so hard with the gun across my face that my head spun. The gun was pointed at Anna when my eyes focused. “You or your sister. Make your choice.”
It wasn’t in me to surrender to the enemy. I never surrendered to the bull, not fully, and my mind worked a million miles a minute trying to decide what to do.
He lifted the gun. I turned my body some, preparing for the hit again.
Instead, he snatched my arms, securing them behind my back with the rope. He went around once, and on the second, a force knocked us both to the floor. My shoulder slammed against the wood when I hit.
It happened so fast that all I could register was noises. Two men grunting on the floor, fighting like animals.
I got to my feet, ran to the mantle, and snatched the gun. Corrado was on the floor, the man on top of him, a knife close to his face. It glinted silver.
I did all of the things Corrado taught me how to do, and when the gun was ready, I hit the man in the shoulder first. When he went over, I was prepared to hit him in the chest.
“I am not dying for you either,” I said, keeping the gun pointed at him. “You could not kill me before. I will be damned if I let you kill me now. Or anyone that I love.”
Two shots whistled through the air, but it did not come from my gun. The force of the bullets made his body jump as two holes appeared in his chest.
“Alcina.”
It took me a minute to realize that Corrado was talking to me. That he had taken the gun from me. That his hand was on my head and he was trying to get me to pay attention.
“Eleonora,” he said, his phone to his ear, tucking his gun and the one I had behind his back when I looked at him.
I pointed behind me. He pulled me close, kissing my head, and then he started to talk to Uncle Tito. As he did, he dropped to the floor beside Anna, checking her pulse. I followed him. I took her hand, holding it close to my heart. The breath left me in a rush when Corrado ran his hand through her hair and she hissed.
He spoke a few more words. Hung up. Dialed again. Spoke a few more words. Men started to flood the room. Corrado stared at me again. Got up and went to the fireplace. He did something and it opened. He brought me Eleonora, and I held her close to my heart, kissing her head over and over. Mamma sat beside me, taking care of Anna until Uncle Tito arrived and checked her over.
Corrado stared at me again, studying me.
I will be damned if I let you kill me. Or anyone that I love.
Those were the same words I had spoke
n to Junior after he almost beat me to death. After he told me he would have my entire family killed. Right before I cut his balls off.
I took a deep breath, released it, and then kissed Eleonora on her head. I stood, just like I had done after Junior had tried to snuff me out, and started to get my fire back.
My life was my own.
I had something to live for—something I always knew would be mine someday. Life and the freedom to live it with my family. I had risked it all for this moment, no matter how dark it was.
I would be damned if I let this steal my light now.
32
Corrado
I was living proof that devils didn’t only creep in the night. They claimed in broad daylight and then hid their prizes in the darkness.
My wife was trying to fight the demons Vito had brought to light again.
“You could not kill me before. I will be damned if I let you kill me now. Or anyone that I love.”
Those words burned me to my fucking core. I could tell when she had been looking at Vito—the rat that had been hiding in our trash—she had been remembering Junior, reliving what had happened to her.
Every so often, I’d pull out the picture Anna had taken of her after Junior had beaten her in Italy, so I’d feel the fire of what he’d done to her in my bones. I would trace the silver scars left on her face from his fist some nights. Each one was a reflection of what could be seen in the picture.
She would only speak about what Junior had done to her when I brought it up.
I had an uncle who would only speak of war when asked. He’d give few details, and after, it was over. He didn’t want to talk about it anymore.
Alcina gave off those same vibes whenever I mentioned it.
If I could go back and kill both of the fuckers again, I would, but since it was impossible to die twice—for most of us—there was nothing I could do but watch her. Watch her to make sure she was not slipping too far away from me.
Mercenary (Gangsters of New York Book 3) Page 24