by Sierra Brave
Abram’s heart pounded, and sweat damped his skin as the cat walked toward him. Shit! I might really have to shoot this damn cougar. He drew his gun but before he could aim, the cat stopped in its tracks. Seriously? It knows?
The mountain lion sat down and then slowly rolled over on its back, showing its belly while lifting its paws. Abram’s eyes widened and he lowered his weapon. The air around the animal seemed to move differently and then the clicking and popping noises started. A sickening sensation churned around in his stomach as his heart sunk. Bile inched up his throat as he watched the big cat’s paws transform into hands and feet. He shivered as the animal’s fur gave way to smooth skin, swallowing down his revulsion as Maddie emerged.
She stood up, naked and beautiful. Abram stilled, staring at her. He hadn’t seen another person shift since he was a little kid, and he barely had any memory of it. He’d never watched himself do it. Shifting was like masturbation. No one else could know.
Maddie strutted with as much sex appeal as any supermodel on a runway. She held her head high, her wide smile pushing her cheekbones upward while showing her perfect teeth. She seemed so proud. Shifting made him feel exactly the opposite, and he tried his damnedest not to do it.
His bottom lip trembled as she closed the distance between them. Even as she stepped directly in front of him, he couldn’t force himself to move or speak. She placed her palm on the side of his face. “Are you crazy? Put away the gun.”
He’d forgotten he was holding the firearm but holstered it as soon as she reminded him. “You’re a shifter?”
“That I am, baby.” She flashed him a flirty smile, her eyes hooded.
“I was afraid something happened to you.”
“I got a little antsy and decided to go for a run, but that’s awful sweet of you to worry.” As she leaned in closer, he squared his shoulders and tensed, turning his gaze away from hers.
She stepped back, her eyebrows lifting and curving, creating furrows on her forehead. She tilted her head, trying to get a read on his body language. What’s with him?
“I guess this is the special bond you and Davis share?” His expression was difficult to read.
“Are you jealous?”
He shook his head. “Not at all.” His nostrils were high while his upper lip was slack. “You knew what I was all along.”
“Wait…are you disgusted?” Maddie’s jaw dropped.
He glanced at her face and then looked down, his features seeming to shrink as he looked away from her. “I just don’t understand why you had to do that.”
Maddie’s eyes widened and she touched a finger to her dropped jaw. “That? Why did I do that?” She paused, dropping her jaw again and shaking her head. “That is who I am.” As her shock gave way to anger, her nostrils flared and she gritted her teeth. “I felt close to you and wanted to share that with you. I actually thought you’d be happy and eager to show me your innermost self too—my mistake.”
He glimpsed at her, his jaw tense and his expression alert. “You’re looking at my innermost self. I showed you everything down there on the blanket. I don’t like to shift. I only do it when the urge is so strong I can’t stand it any longer. It’s not who I am.” His tone of voice stung just as much as his words.
Maddie balled up her fists and pounded the side of her leg while stomping her feet and screaming. “No! This can’t be happening. I finally feel the overwhelming pull of destiny I’ve heard so much about, and I get you?” She stared up at the moon and stars as if they might tell her why she was fated to pair with a self-hating equine shifter. Her tears flowed, running down her cheeks.
As if her fit had stirred him, Abram stepped closer and tried to put his arm around her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”
She slapped his arm away and jumped back. “Yes, you did. You meant everything you said, but you’re wrong. You have no idea who you are.”
“Maddie, don’t be like this.” He reached for her hand.
“Don’t touch me!” She shrunk away from him. “First thing in the morning, we ride back to the ranch with no stops and no talking. Stay the fuck away from me.” She stormed off to her tent. After she crawled inside and zipped it closed, she burrowed into her sleeping bag, hiding her face as she continued to sniffle and blubber.
Chapter Five
Abram’s shoulders slumped as he slowly stepped onto the front porch of the house. His stomach gurgled with nausea as he caught sight of the three people seated around the patio table. Scarlett’s blond hair shimmered in the sunlight as she chatted and laughed with Gram. Davis sat like a bump a log, hanging on every word out of his lover’s mouth. I don’t want to be around a happy couple right now and I sure as hell don’t feel like talking to Gram.
He considered turning tail and running. “Hey there!” Davis called out as he glanced over. Shit. He couldn’t escape. All three of them looked his way, waving and calling for him. He could smell the fresh coffee and hash browns.
“Hey, Abram. Would you like some breakfast?” Scarlett asked as she pushed a strand of blond hair behind her ear.
“I’m kinda tired.”
“Then coffee should wake you right up.” Gram stood and pulled out the chair beside her. She was a regal as ever in her violet-colored, light spring cardigan paired with jeans and equestrian boots. Her silver bob reached just below her chin, and she looked at him with eyes the same color as his. Unable to refuse her, he sat down in the chair she offered. As she looked at Davis and motioned toward the kitchen, he jumped up and then disappearing inside for a bit before returning with another coffee mug.
Abram sighed, accepting a cup of black java. “Thanks.”
Davis regarded him with interest as if he expected him to say something. Please don’t ask. He sipped from his cup, wishing his stomach wasn’t so sickly and his head wasn’t such a mess. Maddie hadn’t said two words to him on the ride back to the ranch, and she’d squealed tires out of there so fast he’d thought her vehicle might take flight. He’d never seen someone so mad look so beautiful. The moment she was out of his sight, his stomach turned sour and his chest started to ache.
“You’re back early. I thought you and Maddie might sleep in and take some time to explore before coming home.”
Abram grunted, looking down at his cup. He already felt like shit. The last thing he wanted to do was talk about it.
Gram tapped her fingers on the table. “What happened? Did you do something to upset that girl?”
He looked up and frowned. “Me? Why is it automatically my fault?” He glanced at Davis for help, but after witnessing the look exchanged between his cousin and Scarlett, he knew he was on his own.
“Well? What went wrong?” Gram looked down her thin-bridged nose at him.
His nostrils flaring, he lifted his chin and answered with defiance. “She nearly got us attacked by wild animals in a cave and then she embarrassed the crap out of me and had the nerve to get mad at me about it.”
Davis palmed his face and frowned. “I kind of thought the two of you would hit it off.”
“We did at first but she had to go and do some unnecessary stuff. It freaked me out.”
“What kind of—“
Before Gram could get the words out, Abram stood up and cut her off. “I never should have come back here.”
The way his gram’s face morphed from shock to disappointment hurt Abram’s heart, but he was too worked up to back down. He averted his eyes as he pushed his chair under the table before bolting toward the house. As he closed the screen door between the kitchen and the porch, he could hear Gram sobbing, and then he heard Davis. “Don’t worry. Give him some space.”
Abram felt about as low as a flea as he pushed open the door and stepped into his spacious bedroom. The large two-story home where he had resided since moving to the mountain belonged to Davis’s dad, but since the silver fox moved to an assisted living community to chase widows, Davis was considered the man of the house. Melly and a couple of their younger cousin
s lived there too. Gram had her own place a short distance down the road.
He sat on the patchwork quilt covering his double bed before he bent over to remove his boots. The bed’s pinewood frame creaked as he reclined backward and stared at the visible wood beam ceiling. Why did I come back here? He considered his own query. Gram had asked him to, but it had to be more than that. He wanted to know the rest of his kin. His shifter relatives were the only family he had left. Even still, he and his mom had gotten along fine without them for most of his life. He rubbed his face as he sighed.
He pushed back his covers and crawled into bed, hoping to sleep through his day off. No matter how hard he tried to push thoughts of Maddie out of his mind, he couldn’t. He remembered everything, especially her scent but also her soft skin and the way she tasted when they kissed. The idea of not seeing her again weighed heavily on his heart, creating a deep aching sensation in his chest.
Maddie picked up her phone and looked at the display. She recognized Davis’s number and answered. “Yeah?”
“Hey, Mittens, so…”
“Just shut the hell up, Davis.” She flopped down in her seat, tapping her foot on the floor as she seethed. “Your cousin is a total asshole. Un-fucking-believable.”
“Can I talk now?”
“I guess.” Button, her tabby cat, crawled on her lap and meowed loudly. She stroked the animal’s back. Somehow, touching the soft fur calmed her.
“You want to tell me what happened?” Davis’s voice was its usual low timbre and ultra-reasonable tone.
“You mean before or after he pulled a gun on me?”
“What?”
“Why don’t you ask your self-hating cousin? Apparently, I’m disgusting and should be ashamed of being a shifter.”
“He said all that?”
“He didn’t have to say it. It was obvious.”
“I’m sorry. I guess you don’t want to see him again.”
Maddie bit down on her bottom lip and rolled her swollen eyes. She’d cried herself to sleep last night only to be tortured by dreams of Abram. Somehow her head felt heavier than ever before even as she rested it against her chair. She couldn’t find the words to say to her friend. She didn’t know how to explain the pull she’d experienced when her body had pressed against Abram’s and their pheromone-filled sweat and mixed and mingled. She struggled not to cry again. “We’ll have to talk about this later. I’m going to go take a depression nap.” She hung up the phone and ran to her bedroom.
Abram’s eyelids popped open as a strong smell forced him awake. He grimaced as his eyes focused on Davis dangling a washcloth over his face. Abram swiped the small square of fabric from his cousin’s hands before sitting up. “Dude, what the hell?”
“Recognize the smell?” Davis nudged him and Abram scooted over enough for him to sit down.
“It’s definitely familiar.”
“That scent is from the concentrated pheromones released when a shifter transforms. Humans can’t smell it, but even shifters with a weak olfactory sense can.”
Abram scowled. “Is there a reason you’re telling me this?”
“You pulled a gun on Mittens.” Davis snatched the cloth and tossed it on Abram’s head.
Abram grabbed it and held it to his nose, sniffing. Then his eyes widened and he jerked the cloth away. “Where’d you get this?”
Davis smirked. “Probably better if you don’t know.”
“Gross!” Abram tossed the washrag on the floor while Davis chuckled.
“I’ll talk to her again later and explain about you not knowing all the ins and outs of shifter culture. Afterward, I think with a little groveling on your part, she’ll forgive you. I also suggest cookies.”
Abram felt as if a boa constrictor had wrapped around his heart and was squeezing his life out. He tapped his fingers against his scalp as he considered what had been said. “She actually took the gun thing pretty well.” He glanced at Davis. “Cookies you say?”
Davis smiled. “After Melly insulted Scarlett, I managed to wrangle an invitation inside her abode with a tin of fresh baked cookies and an apology for my sister's big mouth.”
Abram rubbed the stubble on his chin. “Hmm…do you know what type she likes?”
“I do, and I’ll tell you but first I need you to start from the beginning. If I’m going to help you smooth things over, I’m gonna need to know every stupid thing you did or said.”
Abram’s face burned hot with embarrassment. He didn’t like to kiss and tell and he hated talking about his failures. He reclined on his back and then lifted and smacked his head against his pillow several times. “Things were going really well. She kissed me. I told her I liked her. Yada, yadda, yadda—some hooking up type stuff happened and then we fell asleep in each other’s arms. I woke up and she was gone. I looked for her and found a cougar.”
“Okay, let me stop you right there.” Davis tapped his palm against the tips of the fingers on his other hand, giving the timeout sign. “Never, ever, ever call Mittens a cougar. She says her mom’s a cougar and she’s still a cub. Call her a mountain lion or a puma but never a cougar.”
Abram nodded. “Got it. So then she shifted back into herself, and I was a little shocked.”
“Shocked?”
“I haven’t seen anyone do that since I was a kid. It seemed obscene.”
Davis’s jaw dropped and his eyes widened. “Please tell me you didn’t say that to Mittens.”
Abram sat up again and shrugged. “Not in so many words but shifting is something that should be done alone…like in private.”
Davis shook his head adamantly. “No, it’s a communal, family activity. We do it in secluded areas on account of the danger to us if the wrong humans were to learn of our existence, not because it’s dirty. Shifting is natural, pure even.”
“Maybe for you, but I wasn’t raised that way. I couldn’t tell a soul. I wouldn’t have thought of shifting in front of anyone any more than I would’ve pulled out a porno mag and whack off in the middle of a crowd.”
Davis’s jaw tensed to biting posture as his brow created a vertical furrow. “Do not compare our sacred gift to self-pleasure.”
“I’m sorry. That’s how it was for me.” His eyebrows drooped as he pursed his lips.
Davis’s expression softened and he patted Abram’s shoulder before offering a reassuring smile. “I can’t imagine how lonely it must have been for you, but now everything is going to change.”
Abram lifted an eyebrow. “How’s that?”
“We’ll gather up some of the family. Practice—get you use to it. Once you learn to accept yourself as a shifter, your whole world will open up.”
Abram’s top lip curled as he scrunched his nose. “I don’t want to see Gram naked.” Davis lightly smacked him on the back of the neck. “Hey.” Abram flinched.
“You’re lucky I didn’t punch you for saying that. Gram can’t shift anymore. I guess you don’t know, but when you get to a certain age, you can lose the ability. It’s sad. Anyway, since you’re a novice, we’ll start off with just some of your male cousins.”
Abram opened his mouth and pretended to gag. “Not making it sound any more attractive.”
Davis sighed. “Do you want to win Mittens over or not?”
Abram nodded. “I do, but why do you care so much?”
Davis shook his head. “Man, if you grew up here, you wouldn’t even have to ask that. We’re family, and blood means everything. Plus, Gram will be devastated if you leave again. On the other hand, if you get settled down with a local girl and stay, she’ll be happy as hell. Setting you up with Maddie was her idea in the first place.”
Abram’s jaw dropped. “My grandmother picked out the love of my life?”
Davis sighed. “Join the club. It’s best not to think about it too much.”
Chapter Six
Maddie sat in bed wearing the same stained tee shirt she’d been in for the last two days. Blankly, she stared at her computer screen. She
’d already read the same email twice but couldn’t concentrate.
Her sister Harley had come over to cheer her up, but mostly she had badgered the hell out of her. “Get up!” She tugged on Maddie’s foot.
Maddie scrunched up her face. “Nope.”
“You’re starting to stink. How long have you been wallowing in your own filth?”
“None of your business.” She smacked the lid of her laptop closed before setting it on her bedside table.
Harley disappeared into the master bathroom but soon re-emerged holding a hairbrush. She crawled on top of the bed beside Maddie. As Harley ran the brush through her sister’s hair, Maddie grumbled and complained. “Ow, that hurts, jackass.”
“What do you expect? It’s tangled, you smartass.”
“It’s my hair. Leave me alone.” She squirmed, attempting to get away, but Haley grabbed a handful of her dark locks. “Ouch!”
“I’m your big sister and I want you to stop moping over a man. We’re getting you all gussied up and we’re going out to lunch.”
Maddie crossed her arms in front her chest. “No way in hell.”
“I swear, little girl, I will pull you over my lap and use this hairbrush on your butt.” Harley tightened her grip on Maddie’s hair and gave it a slight yank.
Maddie squealed before attempting to take the hairbrush. She had managed to take hold of the handle when the doorbell rang. A chill ran up her spine, and she nearly jumped out of her skin. “Who the hell could that be?”
“No idea. I’m guessing you’re not expecting anyone considering you look and smell like ass.” Harley pushed her shoulder-length hair back away from her face as she snickered.