“That goes for you, too.” I told him with a smile.
“Of course,” he said agreeably. Cody tapped the card as he thought. “Were you happy growing up?”
My eyes widened in surprise and I considered lying for a moment. I was so used to pretending that everything was fine it almost came naturally now. But this was Cody, and he had just shared about his shitty childhood.
“No,” I said honestly. “I don’t remember the original couple that adopted me. After they were killed in an accident, I hated almost every moment of my life.”
Cody narrowed his eyes. “Your uncle?”
I hesitated, unsure of how much to tell him. “He hated having to take care of his own kids and was very bitter about being stuck with me. But he had to keep up public appearances, so no one would have believed me even if I told.”
Cody looked angry when I told him that. “I haven’t seen any of them since I turned eighteen,” I told him. “I want to leave my past behind and focus on my future.”
Cody gave a sharp nod before handing over my card. “I can understand that. But Anna, I don’t understand how anyone could be cruel to you. You’re so…” He waved a hand in my direction.
I made a face. “And I don’t understand how anyone wouldn’t love a shaggy little wolf with a penchant for getting into trouble.”
A corner of his mouth lifted in a smile. “Touché.”
He looked down at his cards again. “Three?”
I looked through my cards as if I didn’t have each of them memorized, and then held up my three. I waved it at him while I thought of a good question. “Why did you pretend it was a date when we first met? Why not just tell me the truth?” I tried to hide it, but I think a tiny bit of hurt bled out into my voice.
Cody looked startled and then blushed. “I guess…” He ran a hand through his hair. “I knew you wouldn’t give me a second look once you met Austin if I had brought you straight there. I guess I was being selfish.” He hesitated. “You’re smart, sweet, pretty, and way too good for me. I just wanted…”
He looked up to see me staring at him in confusion. This wasn’t at all what I was expecting to hear. He reached for my hands. “I wanted a little time alone with you before everything changed.”
“Cody.” I looked into his gorgeous eyes. “When we first met, I thought that you were too good for me. I didn’t understand why a guy like you would even give me a second look.” He looked at me incredulously. “I was kinda hurt when I realized that you were just sent after me to bring me to your pack master. But I was angrier at myself for thinking that I could ever have a chance with you.”
We looked into each other’s eyes for a moment and I think I was the first one to laugh and Cody joined me. We laughed way to hard about something that wasn’t even that funny. But I think that our laughter was a release from all the stress and anxiety. After a minute, we both calmed down and I shook my head. “We make a great pair.”
“Glad you agree.” Cody grinned at me. “My card?”
I handed him the card that he had won, and he proudly put it with his other pair. The next few rounds just resulted in us drawing more cards from the pile.
“Jack?” Cody asked hopefully.
I grinned and held up a jack. This time I had thought about my question ahead of time. “I know you adopted the twins when they were teenagers,” I started out, trying to feel less awkward about what I was about to ask. “But is it weird for you that I’m dating them?”
Cody grinned. “I thought you would get around to asking me that.”
I blushed but waited for his answer.
“The truth is, the twins are more like my brothers than anything else.” Cody told me seriously. “My buddy, Mark, and I met over in the Middle East. We were in the same platoon and bonded as the only wolves in a group of humans. We always had each other’s backs whenever we went outside the FOB, and he talked about his mate and pups.”
Cody hesitated. “I didn’t meet them until they were around twelve or thirteen. Mark had left me a letter that I received after… he had passed.” He looked down at his cards. “I checked in on them occasionally and I thought they were okay.” He shrugged. “But their situation bugged me because it was so much like my own had been when I was growing up.”
He sighed. “I was back from a deployment when they both showed up on my doorstep one day. Mason told me that they left home and weren’t going back. He asked if they could crash there for the night while Jason just glared at me.”
Cody chuckled. “I called their mother, of course. But when she made it obvious that she didn’t give a fuck where they went, I decided they would stay with me.”
“I was sharing a house with four other marines at the time and the place was a shithole. I took a look around and realized that this wasn’t a place for two young wolves.” Cody swallowed. “Lucky for them, I was up for reenlistment and declined. I took my terminal leave and moved back home to my old pack. I got them in school and did the best I could…” Cody shuffled through his cards distractedly.
“Those two little fuckers didn’t make it easy on me,” Cody laughed. “But once I made it clear that I wasn’t looking to replace their dad, they relaxed.”
I smiled, trying to imagine Cody with two rebellious teenagers to take care of. I had a feeling that the twins had been even worse than two regular teenagers would have been.
Cody looked up at me. “The truth is… they saved me.”
I was surprised to see a sheen covering his eyes and he rapidly blinked as if trying to get rid of it. I wrapped my arms around him and leaned my head on his shoulder.
He slid his arm around my waist. “When I lost Mark, I went into a downward spiral. I didn’t give a fuck if I lived or died. I just wanted to drink, fight and I was ready to sign up for another tour in Iraq. I wanted to go out in a blaze of glory – taking out our enemies and earning a spot in Valhalla.” He sighed.
“The twins showed up and I couldn’t just leave them. I had to give them the chance that I never had.” I rubbed his back and he buried his face in my hair. “I made a mistake bringing them back to my old pack, but I didn’t think I had any other options. I didn’t want to raise them as lone wolves, I wanted them to have the option to join their own pack when they got old enough.”
Cody raised his head to look at me. “I don’t know when things changed for me. But at some point, I stopped thinking that I just had to make it until the twins were grown, and I started thinking about living life again. It became the three of us against the world, a band of brothers.”
I smiled. “And then you met Austin?”
Cody nodded. “And then I met Austin and my life changed again.” We sat in silence for a few moments. My life had changed when I met Austin as well; I thought about what would have happened if I hadn’t and I shivered. Nothing good. That’s for sure.
Cody kissed the top of my head and broke the silence. “I think you owe me a question after that one.”
I laughed. “Fair enough.”
He gently brushed my hair back from my face and looked into my eyes. “Would you ever consider me as a potential mate?”
I smiled at him. “Yes.”
Cody let out the breath that he had been holding and gave me a huge grin.
I raised my face to his and our lips met in a gentle kiss before I pulled away. “But I would want to talk to the other guys about it first. We haven’t really talked things through, but I wouldn’t want them to get hurt.”
Cody smiled down at me. “We’ve already discussed it.”
My eyebrows rose. “You talked about it with the twins?”
Cody nodded. “With all of them.”
I turned bright red. ‘All of them’ sounded bad. I felt a flush of guilt run through me, but then I realized what he had said. “You talked about me with Mason and Jason and who else?”
Cody blushed. “Not like that. We just met to get things out in the open and declare our intentions, so there wouldn’t be any jealou
sy or fights.”
“And you didn’t think to invite me to the meeting?” I asked slowly.
Cody looked surprised. “Well, it was kind a guy thing…”
I pushed away from him. “So, a bunch of you guys met, and you decided what you were going to do with me? Who could date me? Who else was at the meeting?”
Cody looked guilty when he realized I was getting upset. “It was Austin, James, Caleb, and the twins. No one else.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “Do you see why I might be a little upset?”
“Umm…” Cody looked at me as if I had just asked him a trick question.
“It’s because if I decide to be in a relationship with any of you, I expect to be an equal partner in it,” I told him firmly. “If there are meetings about how to manage our relationship, then I deserve to be a part of it.”
Cody nodded sheepishly. “Yeah, I get what you’re saying. It won’t happen again.”
“So, what did you discuss at the meeting?” I asked, still feeling a little hostile.
Cody ran a hand through his hair nervously. “Well, we all just agreed that we had a common goal of making you happy. Austin wanted to make sure that we all had your best interests at heart.”
My heart softened a little. “Well, I think we should have another meeting when I get back. I think it’s a good idea to get everything out in the open. But how would you feel if I called a meeting with all the guys, except you, in order to talk about you?”
“I would be pissed,” Cody admitted.
I sat back and picked up my cards again. “Six?” As far as I was concerned, the matter was settled until we got back home and I could address it with the rest of the guys.
Cody looked at me for a second before picking up his cards. “Yep.” He dangled it in front of me but then handed it over. “This one’s a freebie.”
I smiled at him as I paired it with the card I already had and set them aside.
“Queen?” he asked, still watching me thoughtfully.
I held up a queen but sat it down between us. “This one isn’t a freebie.” I told him with a smile. “You haven’t mentioned love or any females you might have been in a relationship with. Were you leaving them out on purpose?”
Cody laughed and gave me a wry grin. “Not on purpose. I haven’t really had any relationships worth mentioning.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Should I be worried that you don’t see females as worthy of conversation?”
He shook his head. “Sure, I’ve…” he gave me a look. “…dated females before.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m not five. I know what happens when a boy and girl really, really like each other.”
He chuckled. “Never been in a serious relationship. It’s always been just for fun.”
I frowned. “Is that how you think of me?”
He looked alarmed. “Anna, no.” He struggled for words. “You’re different.”
“How so?” I asked curiously. “Have you dated other female wolves or just humans?”
“Just humans,” he told me. “But that’s not the only reason.” He looked contemplative. “I’ve actually been thinking about this a lot since I met you.” He gathered up his hand of cards and stacked them in a neat pile in front of him, setting them aside for now.
“When I was growing up, all I thought about was getting out of there. When I was in the marines, I was always thinking about my next deployment or my next duty station. After Mark-” He swallowed and looked away. “You already know that part.”
I gave his hand a squeeze to encourage him to continue. “I never considered bringing a human woman into my old pack. That would have never ended well. My point is – I’ve never thought about a female having a permanent place in my life. Not until you.”
Cody shrugged. “I think a part of me tried to stay detached from women that I might… date. I think subconsciously, I also sought out women who I wouldn’t feel bad about walking away from. I never would have dated a girl like you. I was nervous just talking to you when we first met.”
“A girl like me?”
“Sweet. Kind. Capable of love,” he told me earnestly.
I think my heart melted a little when he told me that. “It makes me sad that you’ve never been in love,” I told Cody. “I feel like you’re one of the good guys out there who deserve it.”
He shook his head. “I don’t know if I deserve love. I definitely don’t deserve you.” My heart was now completely melted into a little pile of goo.
“Don’t sell yourself short, Cody. I think you are one of the most amazing guys out there,” I told him seriously and we shared a smile.
“What about you?” Cody asked. “Who was your first love?”
I shrugged, a little uncomfortable that he had turned the tables on me. “I’ve never been in love before,” I said softly.
Cody brushed aside all our cards and pulled me close to him. “Why not?” he murmured to me in a low voice. “A man would have to be insane not to want you.”
I forced a grin on my face that didn’t make it to my eyes. “You know what they say though. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.”
Cody ran a hand along my back to cup my hip and bring me closer to him. “I’m not going to lie, Anna. I want to murder any man that made you feel like that – like trash.”
I laughed bitterly and hid my face against his shoulder. “Me, too,” I mumbled. He rubbed my back and I enjoyed just being pressed up against him for the moment. Cody exuded a warmth that was more than just his body heat. Now that I was more attuned to magic, it was obvious that part of that warmth was his magic. I was enveloped not just with Cody’s scent and his body heat, but also part of his essence.
“I’m really amazed at how strong you are,” Cody murmured to me. “After everything you’ve gone through, you came out sweet and kind. A lot of other people go through similar things and come out hateful and bitter.”
I pulled away from him reluctantly. “I don’t want to give you the impression that my life was all bad.” I realized that most of what we had talked about so far was the negative.
“I used to desperately wish that I had a ‘normal’ childhood and would be jealous watching my peers go home to their families.” I shrugged. “I couldn’t understand why I was so unlovable.”
Cody opened his mouth to speak, but I shook my head. “But I don’t want pity and I don’t think I would be where I am right now if my circumstances were different. If I hadn’t been so desperate to earn any type of approval, I wouldn’t have been so motivated to get perfect grades. I wouldn’t have pushed myself so hard to succeed. I wouldn’t have felt the endless drive to prove everyone wrong and make myself into someone that mattered.”
I smiled at him. “And if anything in my life had been different, I might not have ever met you and the other guys. So, while parts of it might have sucked, I wouldn’t want to go back and change it. I’m a better person after everything I’ve gone through, and the best is yet to come.”
Cody gave me a warm smile. “I believe you can do anything you set your mind to, Anna. But you matter, regardless of what degrees you have or what your job title is.”
I laughed. “It matters to me that I earned it on my own and I can be independent. I don’t need anyone to take care of me. My degrees might be just pieces of paper, but they represent years of sacrifice and hard work. They are soaked in blood, sweat, and tears.”
Cody chuckled. “I get it. I just don’t want to you to think you have to hold a title to have the pack respect you. I want you to feel like you have the freedom to pursue whatever your heart desires and not feel like you’re obligated to bring it a certain amount of money.”
I blinked in confusion and Cody continued. “What I do doesn’t bring money into the pack at all,” he explained. “I run volunteer services to help guys transition out of the military, which actually costs Austin money. I have a lot of other responsibilities in the pack to help balance that out, of course.”
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I nodded. Cody had previously spoken about what he did on base, so I knew how passionate he was about it.
“It would kill me to give that up and work a nine to five job just to collect a paycheck,” Cody told me.
I smiled. “Luckily for me, I do like my job most days. I feel like I am able to do a lot of good and I enjoy helping people.”
Cody nodded. “That’s all I needed to hear.”
I sighed in relief, happy that he was dropping the subject. The twins had tried to pressure me into quitting my job before, not understanding how important it was to me. I was glad that Cody realized it was more than just a paycheck.
My heart squeezed when I thought about just how long I had been gone from my job though. Austin had submitted some paperwork to show I was on medical leave, but how long would that hold my job for? Would I still have a job waiting for me at the hospital by the time I managed to get out of here? It seemed like my life had turned into a series of disasters that pulled me out of my old life.
Despite my worry, a yawn still managed to sneak out. Cody smiled at me. “Ready for bed?”
I gave a tired nod before gathering up the rest of the cards to put them away. Cody picked up the cards that had scattered on his side and handed him to me. “I can sleep on the cot, if you’d be more comfortable with that?” Cody offered.
I shook my head at him. “I feel better having you close.”
Cody gave me a pleased look before I excused myself to get ready for bed. I was a little embarrassed when I realized that I only had silky nightgowns to sleep in. Sweats and t-shirts didn’t seem to be standard fae apparel. I sighed, but made sure the lights were off before going back into the bedroom.
Cody had already pulled up the covers for me to slip under. “Apparently, togas aren’t really comfortable for sleeping,” Cody said after a minute. “You okay if I take it off?”
I was glad it was dark in the room so that Cody couldn’t see my blush. “Yeah, that’s fine.” I heard rustling before he settled down again with a sigh. “Much better.”
I squirmed a little and then buried my face in my pillow, knowing he was only inches away and completely naked. “Hey, Anna?” Cody said softly.
Finding the Power Within Page 14