“And you,” he replied, his smile much more genuine. “I've missed you.”
It had only been a few days! Still, perhaps his eagerness to see her would work in her favour. “I’ve missed you too. It seems we don’t spend nearly enough time together.”
He smiled, showing his neat white teeth. “I agree. That Duke Horlock spends far too much time with you - he isn’t deserving. And that Roland fellow, who does he think he is?”
Emily’s heart skipped at the mention of Roland’s name, but she ignored it. Why was she annoyed at the way Eugene spoke about him? Roland meant no more to her than him or Horlock.
“They both are rather demanding,” she agreed, sidling over to him with a grin, “but then, so am I. I suppose you will just have to fight even harder for my affection, right?”
He shifted closer, brushing a strand away from Emily’s slender face. “I suppose I will. You are worth it, Emily dear.”
She smiled coyly, putting on a light laugh despite the way she wanted to cringe at his soppy words. It was no wonder his father had disinherited him - he was no man; too soft for his own good. It made him easy to lure in, though.
Emily was all but sitting on his lap, one leg thrown over his knee, the other curled underneath her. She leaned forward, placing a chaste kiss to his lips. She would have to be careful with him, less flirtatious and more innocent. He was not like Horlock.
His lips met hers again, light and hesitant. Then he ran a hand through her hair, caressing her thick curls. “I love you,” he told her.
“I know,” was her only response. She couldn’t make herself say those words - for if she did, surely he would catch her lie and realize her plan. “I know you would do anything for me.”
“I would.”
Which was exactly what she wanted. How far could she take this game?
Her mother knocked on the living room door and the two jumped apart as if struck by lightning. Adele might have wanted to marry off her daughter, but being caught all but on top of each other would not work in her favour.
“I haven’t interrupted you two, have I?” she asked, clueless. She glanced between them both, as if trying to read their minds.
Emily looked at Eugene, putting on her best flirty smile. “Of course not, mother,” she replied, trying to sound like someone embarrassed at nearly being caught. Apparently her acting was good, as Eugene did not seem to notice anything odd about her. Or perhaps he was too head over heels to care if she acted a little funny – that was the most likely reason.
“Well good. I just came in to grab my book. Don’t mind me.” Adele strode over to pick up a small paperback, then left without another word.
Once she was gone, Emily turned back to Eugene, tracing a hand down his arm. “So, how far are you willing to go to prove your love for me?” she questioned.
“As far as I have to,” his voice was eager, genuine. He really would do anything for her – pathetic, really. How could someone really bare so much of their soul to another, risk everything just to make them happy? Emily had never met anyone that could make her want to do that.
The name Roland drifted through her mind, but she forced it back. Of course Roland wasn't that person; he was just a friend. Besides, he had a terrible reputation with women – every woman for miles had either courted him, or knew to stay away for fear of being played.
“Good.” Emily placed another kiss on his lips, trailing down his neck. “That’s exactly what I wanted to hear. Already you seem more promising than Duke Horlock and Roland combined.”
His smile was blinding. He looked like a small puppy who had just been offered extra treats. This time when he kissed her, it was more forceful, more passionate. Their lips met, fast and eager.
Emily pulled away, face flushed. “Well,” she said, “you certainly are intent on winning me over, aren’t you?” Her voice was smooth, calm - but her gut rolled with disgust. “I’m glad, Eugene, but why don’t we tone it down? We don’t want mother coming back in and finding us like this, do we?
*****
Emily pulled her hat further down as she wrestled through the thick layer of snow with her basket from the grocer’s. Heavy boots tapped against the ground, scuffing up the snow.
She threw open the door to the house, edging her way into the cramped hall and dumping the basket of food onto the little side table by the door. She turned around, cardigan half way off her shoulders - and slammed right into somebody.
“Oh! Sorry mother,” Emily apologised, only to realise Adele was nowhere to be seen. Instead, Roland stared at her, lip curled. “Oh, hello.” Her heart skipped as she noticed his dark hair was damp with snow. She just wanted to wrap him up and put him by the fire.
Wait, why did she care?
He smirked, moving away from her to lean against the wall. “Hello Emily. I stopped by to see you - your mother said you would be back soon. And here you are.”
Emily pursed her lips, turning her head to the side. “Talk to me about what?” He was always turning up unannounced - why did this sound so serious?
“The ball. You know what I’m talking about - bringing me into your squabble with the Duke and Eugene Partridge.”
Emily frowned. She hadn’t brought him into anything - well, not intentionally. So what if Horlock was a little annoyed with him? Now he knew how all of his women felt - he messed them around constantly, courting a new woman every week and dropping them when another man was involved.
“I think it’s best if our friendship comes to an end. I don’t want anything to do with a woman who thinks she can do what she likes with a man.”
Emily’s heart stopped. He was leaving her? Over something as small as that? Ridiculous! “Roland, please, I didn’t mean anything by it. I simply don’t want to marry them, and they wouldn’t leave me alone so I-” she cut herself off, a revelation suddenly skipping through her mind. She didn’t want to marry them - she wanted to marry Roland. Oh.
“I do not want to hear it, Emily.”
She frowned, feeling her eyes begin to sting. What was this? She was crying? “Roland, listen. I’m playing with them, not you. What does it matter how Eugene and Horlock fare?” She took a step forward, hand out as if to take his.
“This game has gone too far. Once, I had thought you were a kind woman, one who I could enjoy myself with. I had wanted to court you once too.” He paused, shaking his head. Damp hair fell in his eyes. “I now see it was stupid. You’re a cruel woman.”
She opened her mouth to respond, but there was nothing to say. She pursed her lips, small hands clasping tightly around the fabric of her cardigan. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you I - I love you. Seeing you with all those women, it made me jealous. I suppose I felt just how Eugene and Horlock must feel now.” She bit down on her lip, feeling a hot tear dripping down her cheek.
“Trying to win me over with pity? I hope you find happiness with Eugene, or Duke Horlock or whoever you chose. It certainly won’t be me.” Roland regarded her for a long moment, hands clenched into fists. “I don’t know why I came here, it hasn’t helped. I suppose now you’re out of my life I can stop pining over you and make do with another girl.”
So his way of fixing things was to abandon her and carry on his rakehell ways? Childish - but then, she was being childish too. She had treated her two suitors so badly, and he had opened her eyes to that.
“Roland-”
He was out the door before the name had even left her lips. It slammed closed behind him with a definite thud.
*****
For the next week, Emily refused to anyone - not a single soul. Horlock stopped by, demanding to see her - but she ignored him, even when Adele came to her room and demanded she came downstairs.
She spent most of the time in her bedroom, under a tower of sheets and pillows. Most of that time was spent sleeping or reading - though her mind refused to focus on the words.
“Emily!” Adele shouted from just outside her room, “this has gone on for too lon
g. You can’t spend your whole life crying - apologize to Roland, and call off this childish game you are playing with the Duke and Mister Partridge.”
She ignored Adele, sinking lower into her bed. “Go away mother,” she stated, voice muffled by the layers of sheets.
“No.”
She groaned, pushing herself into a sitting position. Her hair was a tangled mess, though she made no attempt to smooth it down. “Mother, please. I’m not interested in anything you have to say. Leave me alone.”
“Why should I? I brought you up better than this, Emily. Did I teach you to act like a sulking child; to hide away from your mistakes in the hope of them disappearing? I think not. Now own up to your mistakes and do something about them.”
“I’ll do as I wish, and that happens to be staying here, in my room,” Emily shot back, biting her lip to keep from shouting profanities.
Her mother snorted, and without another word disappeared back downstairs, boots clapping against the wood. She paused, as if considering going back to have another word, but carried on down regardless.
Even though she was alone - just as she had wanted - Emily found that it only made her feel worse. Roland had left her, and even Eugene was losing interest now as she was refusing to see her. It was only a matter of time before Horlock left her too. She wanted them to stop pursuing her - but not like this.
*****
Another two days and Emily was finally convinced to come downstairs. She still looked and felt like the recently deceased, but what did she care? There was no one to see her.
She sat in the kitchen with a measly bowl of soup - she had no appetite, but still she knew eating was important. The very act of eating distracted her, at least for a while.
Someone knocked impatiently at the door - three quick raps and then silence.
Then Eugene appeared in the hallway, his usually perfect hair mused with the wind. Horlock was there too, face creased with concern.
“Emily? We need to speak with you,” Eugene called, voice a little more hesitant than usual.
“Now.” Horlock was much more impatient, more demanding.
Emily peeked her head around the door frame, eyes wide. What were they doing here? More importantly - why were they here together? This was very odd indeed.
“Fine,” she stated, ushering them into the living room. She didn’t bother with formalities or small talk. Get right to the point - let them state their business. Then, perhaps, she should apologize for being so cruel to them. Her actions might have been directly because of them, but that did not mean they deserved such cruelty. Ruining Horlock’s night had been bad enough - putting them through so much emotional stress was another thing all together.
“Emily,” Eugene began, voice soft and tinged with worry, “we haven’t seen you in over a week, and it has given us time to think.” He took her hand, but she deftly slid it away. “Roland told us of your intentions. You never intended to marry either of us.”
“A cruel joke - and it came at your own expense, I see,” Horlock interjected. His smile was almost mocking as he looked at Emily, taking in her pale skin and chaotic hair.
She knew she looked a mess, but she was too tired and resigned to care. If she looked at all how she felt, Emily was a nasty sight indeed - but in the end, it didn’t matter.
Eugene shot Horlock a disappointed look before continuing, “My point is that what you did was cruel and unnecessary. I - we - see now that you were only toying with us.”
“We won’t pursue you any longer, and we feel it is best that we cut all contact with you. I feel it was silly of me to pursue you so eagerly - especially now I see now you didn’t love me back. That, and now I understand how childishly you reacted.”
Emily’s heart skipped. They were going to leave her be? She relaxed marginally, though the knowledge didn’t bring as much relief as she had expected. Instead there was only emptiness. His words cut her like a knife, and she realized for the first time how ridiculous the whole situation was.
Besides, there was still no point, not without Roland. Typical that she discovered she loved him, only for him to leave forever.
“I also think that if you apologize to Roland, he might be willing to listen,” Horlock informed her as if he knew exactly what she was thinking. “He really was quite distraught when he spoke to me. Understandably - less understandable is how much he wants to see you again.”
With a sigh, Emily smiled faintly. “If you think so.” She was not so convinced herself - Roland had every right to never want to see her again, to hate her for the rest of his life. Just like the two men in front of her did. “Just so you know, I really am incredibly sorry for what I did. I never should have taken it so far but...” they just wouldn’t listen to her when she told them no. Looking back on it, they were both at fault - but Emily’s retaliation was unforgivable.
“I know,” Eugene told her with a smile, “now, I must go. This will probably be the last you hear from me.”
“Me, too.” Horlock stood up, brushing down his black trousers. “Goodbye, Emily. I’m sorry things ended this way.”
*****
Two days later Emily stood outside Roland’s tiny home, knocking politely on the door. She hopped from foot to foot, feeling as if her heart might explode. She was almost ready to leave when the door opened, a sulking Roland standing inside.
“What is it?” he asked none too kindly.
“I... Came to apologize,” she replied with an affirmative nod, “to say sorry for the way I treated you and everyone else.” She sounded way more confident than she felt. Inside, she felt as if all of this was hopeless. Why would he want to listen to her now? She didn’t deserve his time and patience.
He stepped away, inviting her in. “It’s about time. I thought you would never pluck up the courage.” He smiled, but it was forced.
“Yes well, I had a visit from Duke Horlock and Eugene - they convinced me it was worth the embarrassment.” She kept her head bowed, hands stuffed in the pockets of her coat. “So I’m here, and I’m sorry, and I don’t know how to make it up to you.”
Roland was quiet for a long time - so long in fact, that with her head down she wasn’t sure he was still there. Eventually, he said, “well it isn’t a good apology, but it will do. You are trying, and that’s something I suppose. Promise me you won’t try anything so stupid again though, yes?” His arms were crossed, face carefully blank of emotion. He looked so much unlike the cheerful, grinning man she knew.
With a shaky laugh, Emily nodded. “Yes, of course. So you forgive me?” Her heart thudded in her chest, her hands felt slick with sweat as she clasped them tightly, eagerly.
“What you did was extreme - even for me - and we both know I haven’t treated women well in the past. I’ve never done something this bad before, though. So no, I don’t forgive you - not yet. I might, though; and I’m willing to try. Is that enough?”
Emily only mustered up a choked laugh of disbelief. He was willing to make up? Or at least try. It was too good to believe. “Of course, of course that’s enough! Thank you!”
Roland stepped forward to embrace her, gently pulling her to his chest. “And what about Eugene and Duke Horlock?”
She pressed her face into his chest, sighing heavily. “They’re finally leaving me alone. Not quite how I imagined it happening, though.” She laughed humorlessly. “After how I treated them I don’t blame them.”
Roland broke the hug first, standing back with a hand on his hip, looking at her sternly. “You’ve learned your lesson, then. Good. I don’t know how much longer I could have lasted without you. You drive me insane, but you’re worth it.”
Really? Emily found that hard to believe. With his history and knack for womanizing, it was impossible to believe he really cared for her. Apparently he did, and that was enough for her.
She kissed him, standing on her toes to place her lips softly on his, closing her eyes as she fought the urge to laugh. Oh, this was just too good to believe! She w
ished this moment could last forever.
When Roland kissed her back, her heart skipped. It made it seem more real, more solid - but also more dreamlike. A week ago this seemed impossible. Somehow, it still did.
When Roland broke the kiss, he was flushed and beaming with joy. “I suspected you were a good kisser, but not that good.” He laughed, genuine and carefree.
Soon Emily joined him, small giggles escaping her lips as she rested her head on Roland’s shoulder. He was thick and sturdy - reliable. That was something she had never considered him before.
“So, was this whole mess worth it to get me?” he questioned teasingly.
“I guess we’ll see - but I’d say so, yes.”
They kissed again, and for once everything seemed right in the world.
A Swift Marriage
“He ruined us, daughter,” Mother said. Mrs. Mamie Bain often talked of her husband with vitriol of late. He had spent their fortune, ruined their chances, and then killed himself with consumption. The Bains were thoroughly disgraced. Even so, it was hard for Miss Abbie Bain to connect the loving man who had lifted her and placed her upon his knee with this demon Mother spoke of; the two were simply too different. “He did,” Mother went on, leaning into the fire, poking at it, and grimacing. “How many servants do we have now, dear? One! And not a footman to speak of! Not that anybody wishes to visit with us anymore! Oh, no!”
“Mother,” Abbie said, pulling a blanket around herself up to her chin, “don’t be morbid.”
“Morbid? Ha!”
“Yes, morbid,” Abbie said. “That will not help anybody. It has been three years, and the past still swells within your breast.”
“Three years… It feels like one-hundred. Look at my eyes, daughter. Look at the lines. Such lines! I have aged one-thousand years in these three years. I cannot believe that it has only been three years. No, I will not!”
The Duke of Ice Page 24