“So, what happened this morning that had you both arriving together?” Gabe asked, leaning back in his seat.
Riel grimaced and did the same.
Then he gave them a run-down of the previous night, followed by this morning’s activities.
“I’ll have to look into it more,” Gabe said, sounding intrigued. “You said it was your doctor’s brother that was shot?”
I nodded.
“He doesn’t suspect it was you?” Ember wondered.
I shook my head. “The thing is, there were about thirty people there that night who saw him. I honestly think he thought nobody would say a word. And he still hasn’t gotten in trouble by the hospital staff or anything. I mean, if it’d been anyone else, he would’ve been reprimanded and possibly fired. But he’s got his finger in so many pies that it’s nearly impossible for them to do anything about him. He’s head of the school board, he’s chief of staff at the hospital. The list goes on and on and on.”
“Sounds like a tyrant,” Ember muttered. “I wouldn’t want to work with him at all.”
I silently agreed.
Breakfast after that went by smoothly.
Though the food took a little longer to arrive due to the number of people at the diner, when it finally did it was just as delicious as always.
Conversation flowed smoothly, and not once did Riel shift in discomfort.
I counted it as a win. Especially when the sun popped out over the umbrella we were sitting under and shined directly on his face.
Not once did he move to the shadows.
“I guess I need to be going,” Riel finally said. “As much as I want to stay, I have to be at work today. Do you want a ride?”
Ember immediately also offered to give me a ride home.
“Actually,” I said as I stood up. “I really need to be going myself. And I know y’all want to go talk to a few of those guys in there. So, I’ll go ahead and hitch a ride with Riel.”
Ember grinned.
“You know Gabe so well,” she laughed.
After exchanging hugs with everybody, Riel led me back to his truck.
His hand brushed against mine, and I found myself longing for the feeling of it once again wrapped around my own.
Suddenly, I blurted out the first thought in my head.
“Would you happen to want to go to the beach with me?” I asked curiously.
He frowned. “What?”
“The beach,” I said. “Every year we go on an end of the year class trip to celebrate making it through. This year, we’re going to Destin, Florida.”
He frowned.
“I…” He paused. “I don’t know.”
I could tell what he was thinking.
He didn’t want to be at the beach where he could be ogled and stared at. The poor guy was so self-conscious about himself that it literally broke my heart.
“I’ll think about it,” he said. “I’d have to ask off of work, and me being so new, it may not even be a possibility.”
I could understand that.
And, sensing that he wanted to change the subject, and fast, I chatted with him about a patient I had the day before.
When he dropped me off at my house, leaving me once I’d made my way in the front door, I turned around and watched him stare at my house for a few long seconds.
While he was doing that, my eyes took him in.
I saw the sorrow there.
The emptiness.
The loneliness.
And made a decision.
I wouldn’t fight where this led.
Not anymore.
Chapter 9
Doesn’t everybody have their tree up in October?
-Text from Frankie to Riel
Frankie
December
Months passed by, and like usual, Luca didn’t show.
Riel, however, did.
Every single day I either spoke to him or saw him in some way.
Slowly, piece by piece, he was healing my heart.
I wasn’t sure how.
I wasn’t sure why I was letting him.
But there I was, answering his text with a smile on my face.
Riel: Dinner?
Frankie: Absolutely. As long as you bring it to my house. I’m decorating.
Riel: Decorating what?
Frankie: Everything.
I still dreamed about Luca every single day.
Every single morning, when I woke up from my sleep, it was with Luca’s voice in my ear.
I still slept in his clothes.
Still thought about him every single hour.
But, I also thought about Riel.
Thought about how nice his hugs felt—just as nice as Luca’s.
Thought about how his voice sent a shiver down my spine—just like Luca’s used to.
Last week, I’d walked out of my house to find Riel running past it early in the morning.
I’d fallen into step behind him for our run that started happening that day all those months ago when he’d first come to my house. But instead of running beside him, I ran behind him, my eyes taking in all the delicious muscles that covered the man’s body.
Needless to say, I was falling for Riel.
And… I didn’t feel like I was betraying Luca as I did it.
I couldn’t explain why.
I should’ve felt bad.
I should’ve felt like I was giving up on Luca.
But… I just didn’t think that I was doing anything wrong.
Riel was everything right in my world.
“I’ve decided to go with you,” he said as he eyed my pile of suitcases in the corner. “You said that you have your own place, right?”
Would you happen to want to go to the beach with me?
I wasn’t sure why, but I’d asked him that exact thing originally a few months ago when he’d returned to Kilgore. I’d reminded him again a couple of weeks ago. He’d told me he was still thinking about it.
And honestly, I thought for sure that he wasn’t going to go. That he was just going to ignore my invitation and act like I’d never asked to begin with.
I nodded once.
“My dad and Cora plan to come up halfway and take over the rental of the house for the next week. And since I was only staying for four days, I decided that was a good deal. Plus, I don’t have to share a room with anybody,” I told him honestly. “There are three bedrooms. Eventually the kids will be showing up with them, taking over the third bedroom, but I’ll just sleep in that room with them while we’re still there. You can have the other.”
He smiled.
“You like them,” he said.
I nodded my head. “I love them. A lot.”
His eyes went soft as he reached for another ornament.
“You want kids of your own?” he asked, sounding contemplative.
I was already nodding my head before he’d even had a chance of finishing his question.
“I…” I blew out a breath. “I used to want a lot. Now? I’ll settle for only one.”
His eyes went a little sad for a second, making me tilt my head in his direction in confusion.
“What is it?” I questioned, sensing he had something to say.
He hung up two more ornaments way up high on the tree before answering.
“I can’t have kids,” he said, sounding sickened.
My belly dropped at his words.
I frowned. “You can’t?”
He shook his head, looking lost for a second.
“With all of my injuries, the prolonged infections, as well as the overall hit my body as a whole took, there was just no combatting it. I found out while I was in Germany that I was most likely sterile. I had it confirmed a couple of months ago. There are definitely no little soldiers swimming in my batter.” He tried to make light of it, but I could see how it hurt him to say it. “So yeah, can’t have any kids.” He pause
d. “Not that any kids need to grow up with this face as their parent. Can you imagine them seeing me? They’d probably scream.”
Those words felt like taking a punch straight to the soul.
“Riel, I’m sorry,” I said softly.
He shrugged, as if he wasn’t affected by the words that’d just left his lips.
I didn’t know what to say to him, so I chose to change the subject instead.
That was me. Handler of all things heavy.
“Hey,” I said. “Janie, a friend of Luca’s, got back to me on Maxie.”
Riel pulled on the beard that he started growing a few months ago, looking torn between wanting to know about him, and wanting to stay blissfully ignorant.
“The dog was never taken to Florida in the first place,” I explained, not waiting for him to get the courage to ask. “He was surrendered right here in Kilgore.”
Riel stiffened.
“They told me that they took him home,” he said evenly. “Had him for six months before they realized I wasn’t coming back and gave him up.”
I shrugged, unsure what to tell him.
His parents were pieces of work, what could I say?
It was almost as if they weren’t his parents at all.
“Did she find the dog?” he asked almost reluctantly. “Did the dog get adopted?”
I now understood.
He was afraid that the dog was euthanized.
That was awful.
“A volunteer took Maxie home,” I said finally. “I think she’s still fostering him, to be honest. They haven’t officially adopted him.”
“They?” he asked curiously.
“Well, the woman, Sierra, lives with her brother. The dog’s been staying with the both of them since she brought him home,” I explained.
He was nodding his head in understanding.
“Do you… do you think we should go see him?” Riel asked curiously.
I could tell that Riel didn’t really want to go, and I didn’t know why.
“Only if you want to,” I admitted. “We don’t have to do anything.”
He scrunched up his face, and the scars around his mouth and eyes pulled tight.
I wanted to smooth out the creases in his forehead with my lips.
I didn’t.
Though it took everything I had not to wrap my arms around the man.
“She walks the dog every day at the trail,” I said, offering him up a solution. “We could go there, walk it. If you happen to want to go see the dog, cool. If not? We could just hang back. Watch.”
Riel breathed a sigh of relief, and once again, I wished that he would tell me what was going through his head instead of keeping it bottled up inside in his emotional vault.
Then again, I was one to talk.
I had emotions battering me left and right, yet I couldn’t tell him a single thing.
I had all of these feelings rocketing through me, and not one of them seemed to be able to make it out of my mouth.
“Sure,” he croaked.
I made a grab for his hand, not allowing myself time to think or question what I was doing.
When his eyes met mine, I didn’t see the scars.
I didn’t see the horror that he went through.
I only saw him.
“I’ll be there, okay?” I said. “I won’t let you go by yourself.”
He swallowed hard.
“I don’t know why I’m being such a little bitch about this,” he admitted. “Something’s telling me not to do it, though.”
I didn’t know what or why, but if he didn’t want to do it…
“We don’t have to go…” I said softly.
He was already shaking his head.
“I feel like this imposter living this life,” he said. “I feel like I’m going to see this dog, and the dog is going to think I’m just any other human. I’m tired of not knowing who I am.” He paused. “I’m being a little bitch. But… for some reason, this damn dog is important.”
I frowned. “So, you want the dog to be excited to see you?”
He just shook his head.
“That’s the thing,” he answered. “I don’t know what I want. Not one single bit.”
***
I wasn’t sure what I was expecting.
I, at least, would’ve thought there’d be some excitement on the dog’s part.
There was none.
And, like all the nuances that didn’t make sense when it came to Riel, I filed it away with everything else.
“He’s the sweetest dog ever,” Sierra said as she walked the dog alongside us. “I swear, I just love him to pieces. One day when he’s adopted, it’s going to break my heart.”
Riel walked on the opposite side of Sierra, absently running his hand along the dog’s head.
When the woman took a left into the dog park, Riel and I kept going straight.
“Have a good one,” Riel said.
“You, too!” Sierra waved.
Then she was talking to the dog quietly as she led him through the gates of the dog park, leaving me and Riel to continue walking or we’d look like weirdos.
“So…” I said. “The dog didn’t seem to recognize you.”
Riel rubbed his throat.
“Can I tell you a secret?” he asked softly.
I had a feeling I wasn’t going to like this secret.
“What?” I asked, voice cracking on the words.
“I don’t think I’m Malachi,” he said.
My heart started pounding in my throat.
“What?” I asked, trying to make sense of the words he’d just spoken.
His eyes turned to me. His stare intense.
“I…” He licked his lips.
It was such a familiar movement on his part, that at first I didn’t think anything of it. He did it a lot.
But then he wiggled his tongue, and suddenly everything just… clicked.
His scent.
His mannerisms.
His eyes.
His voice.
The way he made me feel.
I started to shake.
Because… what if he was right?
“W-who do you think you are?” I wondered, trying not to let my rocketing heart rate show.
His eyes turned to me.
“I was never going to tell you,” he rasped. “Because I don’t feel like I’m that same person anymore.”
Boom. Boom. Boom.
My heart rate could be felt in my ears now.
“But too many things don’t add up,” he said. “They never did a DNA test. What was the point? I clearly had my dog tags on me…” He paused. “But… shouldn’t a dog know its owner?”
Yes.
“Shouldn’t parents who talk to me know who it is they’re talking to?” he pushed.
Yes.
“Shouldn’t my shoes still fit my feet and not change three sizes?”
Yes.
“Shouldn’t something seem familiar?” he asked. “A picture? A pair of my favorite sweats? My bank? My parents’ names? My name?”
“Yes,” I voiced that one.
“Nothing does,” he whispered. “Not a thing… until I’m with you.”
My breath hitched in my throat.
And all of the things he’d been doing over these last couple of months started to make me feel a little lightheaded.
The way that my hand felt right in his. The way that he felt when I hugged him. The way he spoke to me, deep and soft.
Hell, that was the thing.
He didn’t even ‘sound’ familiar as much as his tone was familiar. And the way that tone made me feel when he used it on me.
But… still.
I still couldn’t hold out hope.
I wouldn’t, either.
I couldn’t even think the words.
Because giving voice to the hope inside of me? What if he was wrong? What i
f what I was thinking was wrong?
What if I gave voice to that hope, and it was all taken away from me all over again?
No.
No, I couldn’t.
Not yet, anyway.
“A DNA test.” My voice croaked out. “We could do a DNA test.”
“How?” he asked. “Gabe and Ember made mention that they donated all of his stuff.”
Even Riel was being cautious.
I swallowed hard.
“Gabe and Ember, then,” I said. “I can go over there today. Steal a brush or something.”
He closed his eyes, looking torn for a few long seconds.
Then nodded once.
“I think… I think it’s time.”
And that was exactly what we did.
We stole some hair samples from both Gabe and Ember.
I took a hair sample from Riel.
And then I took it to my friend that worked in the hospital lab.
After a promise that she would get that information back to me in a couple of days at most, Riel told me that he was going to pack.
Because he was going with me to Florida.
And I wasn’t sure how the hell I was supposed to feel about it.
I told myself to calm down.
To think logically and rationally.
But my stupid, stupid heart.
It wouldn’t listen to a thing that I told it.
Chapter 10
My pen is bigger than yours.
-T-shirt
Frankie
The news of the rescued Navy SEAL that was held in captivity right alongside Riel for over a year hit the news like a category five hurricane.
News of the man’s rescue splattered all around the damn world, and Riel was caught right up in the middle of it. Again.
Hayes Ulysses Romaine, 31, rescued from an Afghan prison by SEAL Team 8.
“Why are we going there?” Riel asked, sounding confused after being told that he was needed where Hayes was being debriefed.
“Yes, well I don’t quite know the answer to that, either. I was just told to pick you up and get you there.” Supposedly Riel’s superior in the Navy had said that he was needed. His name was Tim, and he’d told both Riel and me that Riel had eaten at his house. Played with his kids.
I studied Tim.
“We were going on vacation. Literally, we were walking out the door to drive there,” I said gesturing to our luggage. “Can I go, too? We could just hop right on over to Destin after we’re done in St. Petersburg.”
If You Say So (KPD Motorcycle Patrol Book 6) Page 9