He didn’t say anything to that for so long that I expected him not to reply to it at all.
Sitting up, I wiped my eyes and tried to get control of myself.
“I want to wait until I can tell Gabe and Ember first.” He paused. “My mom and dad.”
I felt my heart kick at his words.
“Cora we can tell,” he said. “But we’ll have to tell her and ask her to keep quiet until we get home. I just… I need time. I need to think about it. And I know that I’m not going to be able to stay away from you like a man who’s not dating you should.”
I completely understood.
“I turned over Malachi’s credentials,” he said. “They gave me a military ID. I should be able to get everything that I need with it from there. But I couldn’t keep using Malachi’s life.”
I opened my mouth to say something, but he continued.
“They did a DNA test. I’m really me.”
That was nice.
But I didn’t need a DNA test to tell me what was in my heart.
Chapter 11
The boobs are real. The smile is fake.
-Frankie’s secret thoughts
Frankie
I was doing pretty well, considering.
“Have you ever ridden in a helicopter before?” I asked curiously, watching him as if he was on auto-pilot, putting clasps into the buckles and tightening me into the seat.
“I think so,” he said. “I’m doing things that I probably wouldn’t know how to do otherwise.”
That made sense.
What also made sense was nothing.
Nothing made sense anymore.
I was an emotional mess.
They did a DNA test. I’m really me.
His words from earlier were the last ones that he’d spoken to me in over an hour. Until I’d asked him if he’d ridden in a helicopter before.
Then there were no more words at all again because the sound of the helicopter blades above our head started to spin.
Tim, who was apparently also a helicopter pilot, was flying us to the airport that was a five-minute drive from Destin. From there, we were going to rent a vehicle and drive to the rental we’d be staying in for the next week.
And I was nervous.
Nervous as hell, honestly.
Because, the more time that I had to think about what had been uncovered today and yesterday, the more nervous I became.
Because, now that I was thinking about it, I realized that Luca definitely wasn’t the same man that he used to be.
He didn’t act like him. He didn’t look like him. He didn’t even want to be him, I didn’t think.
Which meant… would he even want me?
Would he feel the same way for me that I felt for him? Or would I find myself caring for a man that would never care about me in return?
I was honestly terrified.
What if he didn’t want me?
What if he’d turned into this man that didn’t need me anymore? Didn’t need me like I needed him?
Needless to say, by the time we arrived at our destination, I was a freakin’ mess.
My stomach was roiling, my head was spinning, and I was about ten seconds from throwing up.
In fact, that was my main priority as I started to uselessly pull on my buckles and fastenings that were holding me in my seat.
At first, Luca didn’t realize that I was panicking.
He was too busy focusing on getting his own self unbuckled to notice my rising hysteria.
It was at the point that he was done, and when I’d only managed to tighten my buckles instead of loosening them, that he finally looked up.
My rising anxiety level must’ve shown on my face because he leaned forward quickly and unfastened me in five seconds.
I was out the door that Tim was pulling open and running full out on the pasture where we’d landed before dropping to my knees and losing my lunch—what little of it I’d managed to eat after learning Luca was really Luca—in the tall grass.
Just as I finally started to dry heave, I found myself being pulled into Luca’s arms.
Which was about the time that I started to cry.
Because… it felt right.
For the first time in so freakin’ long, I felt complete again.
I trembled as I cried, and Luca held me.
He held me and didn’t let me go.
Not until I was all cried out.
That was when I realized that the sound of the blades of the helicopter were no longer filling the air.
That it was silent as a tomb.
“You scared the shit out of me.” His voice sounded ragged, as if he’d just gargled with rocks and did a couple shots of vodka for shits and giggles. “It’s dangerous to be out while the blades are still spinning.”
I looked up when I felt the chill in his tone.
“What are you talking about?” I mumbled into his chest.
He shivered.
“When helicopters are powering down, their blades droop,” he said. “That’s when they’re most dangerous. You could’ve been decapitated.”
I shivered just thinking about it.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
And I was.
I had no idea.
“I know,” he said. “You didn’t know.”
I looked over Luca’s shoulder to see Tim being yelled at by someone.
“Who’s that?” I asked.
Tim was standing at rigid attention, and his back was so ramrod straight that I had a feeling whoever the person doing the yelling was, he was an important guy.
“Based on his dress, I would say an officer or some sort,” Luca said. “Are you okay to go back?”
Was I okay to go back?
I had no fucking clue.
I wasn’t okay in the least.
In fact, I was so far from okay that I wasn’t sure I’d ever be okay again.
But I could suck it up.
I could make it to the vacation rental.
I could, and I would.
At my nod, Luca had me on my feet and he was leading me back toward the still pissy officer and Tim.
Tim didn’t even glance sideways when we arrived.
He was still wholly focused on the officer tearing him a new one… for something that I’d done.
“That was my fault,” I said, interrupting the man’s tirade.
The officer looked at me like he couldn’t believe I’d just interrupted him.
“I was having a panic attack,” I said, ignoring his obvious disapproval. “I had to get out of there, or I would throw up.”
“Well you almost got yourself killed,” he snapped at me.
He was looking at me as if I’d grown a second head. As if he couldn’t believe I was actually addressing him and interrupting him at that.
Well, tough shit.
I didn’t care who that man was.
He wasn’t an officer over me.
He was just a man that was ripping Tim a new asshole for something that I’d done.
And I wasn’t okay with that.
The officer narrowed his eyes at me, and I allowed my gaze to drift down the man’s chest to see that his name, Ortiz, was stitched onto his breast pocket.
Luca, realizing that I was now well and truly pissed, squeezed my hand with urgency.
I knew he was telling me to get it under control, but that wasn’t happening.
I wasn’t under control even a little bit.
In fact, when Ortiz narrowed his eyes, ready to start in on me when he realized that I wasn’t cowering to his aura of authority, my hands clenched into fists.
“You’re on US Military property, ma’am,” Ortiz snapped. “And although you may think that Tim wasn’t in the wrong, he was.”
Maybe.
Maybe not.
“I don’t really give a flying fuck what you think right now,” I snapped, not belie
ving I’d just let those words come out of my mouth. “I’ve had a really fucked up three days. And if I’m being honest, a really fucked up two years. So yeah, you can just go fuck yourself, okay?”
Tim went absolutely green.
I could see his eyes widen.
Could see the panic in his face.
Then Luca had his hand over my mouth, and he was pulling me solidly into his chest.
But I got a few more words in before he did.
“Do you know what it feels like to have someone come back from the dead?” I asked. “Because I do. I know what it feels like…”
Then I was crying again.
I wasn’t sure what all happened after that because Luca was dragging me away again.
I was throwing up again.
And I was fairly sure Ortiz was still ripping Tim a new asshole.
Or maybe a second new asshole, holding my words against him.
When I finished this time, it was to find Luca smiling.
“What are you laughing about?” I sniffled against his chest.
He had two massive wet spots from where my face had been pressed against his gray t-shirt for my crying jags.
It looked weird, but he still worked it.
I chanced a look over Luca’s shoulder and didn’t find the man that’d been yelling at Tim anywhere in sight.
Tim, however, was talking to a man that was inspecting the helicopter.
“I just yelled at someone really important,” I said to Luca. “My dad’s going to hear about it.”
Luca started to squeeze me.
“Your dad will hear about it?” he asked.
My dad had been a drill instructor before he’d gotten out of the military.
He knew a lot of people, and even though Dad wasn’t in the Navy, I had no doubt in my mind that he’d know about what I’d just done by the end of the day.
It was inevitable. Someone, somewhere, will have known who I was. And will have known who my father was.
Word would spread, and it wouldn’t take long for the right person to hear and to tell my…
My phone rang.
I didn’t even bother to sigh as I looked at the readout.
“It’s my dad.”
I answered without picking my head up from Luca’s chest.
“Hello?” I mumbled.
“Why is it I just heard that you yelled at a fucking senior officer in the Navy, one in which I’m really good buddies with, and you almost got your fucking head chopped off by a helicopter rotor?” My dad’s very annoyed voice filled the line.
I closed my eyes.
Of course, he would be direct friends with the guy.
“I wasn’t in a good state,” I admitted.
“What kind of state could you possibly be in that would give you the thought that it was okay to use that kind of language with a man?” he asked. “Officer or not, military or not, I didn’t raise you to act like that.”
I immediately felt like shit.
He was right, of course.
My bad day didn’t give me the excuse to use that kind of language with anyone.
“I told you,” I said. “I’m not in a good state.”
He growled. “Like I said, what kind of state allows that?”
I suddenly was pissed all fucking over again.
“The kind of fucking state where I yell at goddamn men who yell at men who helped me today, okay?” I snapped.
I immediately regretted it the moment the words left my mouth.
My dad’s silence was quelling.
“Where are you?” he asked.
I looked around at where we were at and had no clue.
“I don’t know,” I admitted truthfully.
And before I could say anything more, Luca was taking the phone from me.
Because I was so freakin’ tired, I didn’t protest.
I also didn’t care what he was saying.
I was just plain exhausted.
I wanted to sleep for about ten hours straight and forget life for a couple of seconds.
Preferably in Luca’s arms while I pretended that everything was okay when it wasn’t.
I was so lost in the rumble of Luca’s chest that I didn’t notice that he was done talking to my dad, and talking to me instead, until he squeezed me tight.
“You’re not listening to me…” he said, sounding amused.
I blinked, focusing on Luca’s arm.
His ravaged arm that had been maimed but still miraculously was whole.
“I’m tired,” I admitted.
“Let’s go then,” he ordered, standing up with me in his arms.
I knew he had to be in pain.
He was always in pain but trying to hide it.
Yet he didn’t complain once as he led me to Tim, who was taking us to a rental car agency.
I stayed in his arms, thinking that for once, everything felt like it might be okay.
“Luca,” Tim said. “I got you a rental. It’s the black truck over there. I remember you having a thing about enclosed spaces a long time ago, so I got you the biggest thing they had.”
Luca said something, but my brain was quickly losing focus as exhaustion started to overwhelm me.
I was running on fumes.
And, I just didn’t freakin’ care.
Nothing else mattered but being exactly where I was at.
***
I didn’t remember stopping to get the keys. I wasn’t aware of getting into the truck.
Hell, I didn’t even remember being carried into the beach house that would be our home for the next seven days.
I woke up when the day started giving way to the dark.
I wasn’t in a bedroom, though.
I was on a couch in the middle of a beautifully decorated living room that wasn’t familiar in the least.
I turned my head so that I could take a look around and wasn’t surprised to find nobody in the vicinity.
I sat up and looked over my shoulder, finding a wall of windows at my back and a familiar menacing form standing at the deck railing overlooking the beach beyond.
Feeling other pressing needs besides the one that urged me to go to him, I found my way to the back hallway and went to the first bathroom that I found.
After using the facilities, I turned on the faucet and was immediately drenched in freakin’ water from the sink.
I turned off the water as fast as I could, but my pants were still soaked.
I looked down at them then decided, ‘fuck it.’
Taking them off, I kicked them into the corner of the bathroom, then went in search of my suitcase.
I didn’t find it. Not anywhere in the house.
Which only had me guessing that Luca had focused on bringing me in, not anything else.
But I did find a discarded t-shirt on the back of the couch that belonged to Luca.
Thinking it would cover more than my t-shirt that was partially wet as well, I shucked mine off over my head, and immediately put Luca’s on.
Luca.
It was so easy to call him that in my head now.
Speaking of Luca, I saw him still standing exactly where he was at earlier, only now he had a beer tipped up to his lips and he was drinking it quickly down.
I smiled as I saw him, then opened the back patio door.
The first thing that assaulted me was the smell of brine.
The next thing was the sound of the waves crashing into the sand.
The third? Well, that was Luca of course.
He turned when he heard the door open, and it wasn’t the scars that I first saw.
But the muscles underneath the scars.
They were still there.
And though he may not be as pretty as he once was, that didn’t mean that he wasn’t still ripped as hell.
“Hey,” I said.
He grinned when he saw me.
“The
faucet got you?” he asked, sounding amused.
I nodded.
“Me, too.” He gestured to the shirt I was wearing. “It got me in the chest. I took my shirt off about an hour ago and laid it out there. I’m guessing it’s dry?”
I only nodded.
“Looks better on you anyway,” he murmured. “Like a dress.”
I didn’t wait for the invite.
I walked straight to him and he moved, opening his arms and his body to mine.
His arms wrapped around my waist, and his hands buried into my hair.
I pressed my lips to his naked chest, feeling the puckered scars underneath my lips, and inhaled deeply.
“I think,” I said as I smelled the unique smell that was him. “That you fooled me because you didn’t know your usual brands,” I said. “You used to only use the one type of deodorant, and the one type of body wash.” I snickered. “If I’d have smelled that? I’d have known it was you.”
He tightened his arms around me. “You’ll have to go buy me all my usual shit so I can smell right from now on.”
I snickered, laughing into his chest.
“I’ll be sure to do that,” I said. “But, saying that, had I actually been this close, and smelled the unique scent that’s just you? I’d have known, too.”
He growled, making my face vibrate against his chest.
It made other things vibrate, too.
But I didn’t think he was ready to know that yet.
Maybe tomorrow…
Chapter 12
Keep it up and you’ll be a strange smell in the attic.
-Luca’s secret thoughts
Luca
When I woke up that next morning, Frankie was in my arms.
Her head was on my chest, and she was breathing softly, her mouth slightly open.
Her face was pillowed against my scarred chest, and for the first time in months, I woke up with a sense of peace.
I quietly crawled out of the bed, being careful not to wake my sleeping bed hog—because she was that. Each time I moved the entire night, she would inch closer and closer to me.
Eventually, I’d ended up right on the edge of the bed with her plastered to my side.
At first, I’d tried to get her to stay on her side.
Then I realized how dumb that was because not only did I not want her to stay on her side, I didn’t want her to keep her hands to herself, either.
In fact, I wanted her to touch me more.
If You Say So (KPD Motorcycle Patrol Book 6) Page 11