She blushed again, as she always did when I called her that. Then she glanced up at me with serious eyes. “What if I can’t do it? What if I can’t get past everything to go there again?”
“I don’t want to dwell on what ifs, Anna. I will say, we’ll cross the hurdles as we come to them, but no matter what, my first priority is to see that you are never hurt again, at least not in the ways I’ve hurt you. I’m sure there will be arguments and fights at some point. I don’t think there’s a healthy relationship out there without their share. My other priority is to make sure that we can maintain a friendly relationship no matter what, because you’re right, we have a child we made together. Ever was right, we don’t need to do to our baby what either of her parents ended up doing to her.”
She was quiet for so long that the waitress managed to bring us our food and move away again before she spoke. “I want to be able to move past everything. I need you to know that, but I don’t want to lie either. I’m not sure that I can. There are things about our wedding day and night that haunt me when I close my eyes. If I knew how to make that stop, I would. I just don’t yet. Ever got me an appointment to see her therapist. I went to see her and, while she was okay with taking me on, she suggested that because of our circumstances I might benefit from speaking to someone who could help with us as a couple in conjunction with personal therapy.”
“I’ll do it,” I agreed.
“Just like that?”
“Just like that. No question. I wish we had been in a place in the beginning to do just that instead of letting hurt feelings and mostly misplaced anger rule actions.”
“Okay,” she hummed out before popping a French fry in her mouth. “I’ll set something up and let you know.”
“You do that.”
We ate in peace for a while, just enjoying the atmosphere and the food. “When do you have to be back?” I asked the question as I tucked my cleaned plate to the side and watched her trying to tackle the rest of her burger without getting too messy.
She flipped her cell phone over and glanced down at the time. “I should be getting back soon, actually. Beth isn’t stringent on my lunch break being just an hour, but I don’t like to take advantage,” she insisted.
“I know you don’t, beautiful. Finish up and I’ll walk you back before I have to head in to work for a little bit.”
“Will you be coming back home tonight?” I’m not going to lie and say it didn’t feel good to hear that question from her lips. She called our house her home now, and she wanted to know if I would be there with her. My heart ticked up a couple beats per minute.
“Wild horses couldn’t keep me away, Anna.”
Chapter 14
Evan picked me up from work the day after our lunch at the Crab House in order to take me to my make-up doctor appointment. We were both sitting in the lobby together, waiting to be called back when I noticed a little boy who couldn’t have been more than two years old. He seemed infatuated with Evan and his mom was a bit preoccupied with an infant in a car carrier. I wondered how she managed with two little ones so close in age. That had to be exhausting.
“Dada?” The little boy questioned as he moved closer with a bit of apprehension. At first Evan didn’t seem to notice, but then the little boy tugged on his jeans near his knee. “Dada?” He questioned again.
“Sorry, buddy, I’m not your guy,” Evan managed to get out while trying to hide his amusement from the boy.
“Dada!” The boy demanded a bit more forcefully, not accepting Evan’s answer. This caused the child’s mother to finally look up. Her reddened cheeks were proof that she was embarrassed.
“Sorry,” she stated quickly as she moved the couple steps away from the baby carrier that had been sitting on the floor in front of her chair in order to grab hold of her toddling son. “His dad is on deployment right now and every man he sees is suddenly Dada.”
“It’s okay, I’ve seen that happen a lot in the service,” Evan answered her politely, trying to put the woman at ease with the situation.
“Well, thank God you took it okay. I’ve had men that heard him do that and weren’t so nice. Granted, sometimes it was because the women with them were none too happy about it,” she offered with a chuckle. “I swear, I’ll be lucky if my son doesn’t accidentally get me shot by someone’s jealous woman.”
My name was called as she said this, having us both stand while chuckling at her fear. “Good luck with that one,” I told her as Evan grinned and waved goodbye to the little boy. “Later, little man.”
“That was kind of sad,” I finally managed to say after we had been moved to the back where the nurse was taking my vitals.
“That’s military life for you. I really meant what I said. It’s something we see all too often coming back from deployment. Young children are confused about who their returning parent is. Lots of families end up in counseling as a result, because it’s tough on the kids suddenly having another parent that’s been away long enough for them to forget. It’s also hell on the parent who had to be away to come home only to have been forgotten. Then there’s the one who has been doing it all on their own and they have to adjust to another person suddenly butting in and judging how they do things. I’m thankful my time is completely up. I never wanted to start a family while I could still be called up to duty. I don’t want my kid calling every strange man he meets daddy.
Someone rapped on the door a couple times before it opened and a man poked his head around the corner. “Are you guys ready for me?” He asked, as he just continued on into the room anyway, shutting the door behind himself and his assistant. I wasn’t sure if she was a nurse, an ultrasound tech, or what at that point.
“We’re ready,” I told him without missing a beat. “I don’t want to know the sex”
“Are you sure?” The doctor asked.
“Positive. I want to be surprised.”
“What about you?” The doctor asked Evan.
“I don’t mind knowing, but will go along with whatever Anna decides,” Evan told the man.
“Ah, smart man. Happy wife, happy life,” he commented as he winked at me. I giggled before glancing over at Evan and seeing this look in his eyes that I couldn’t quite understand. It wasn’t nearly the molten look he had whenever he was horny. It was something warmer and deeper. It was also the first time I think he had heard someone call me his wife when we were both together, or maybe at all. The fact that it obviously affected him made me flush with warmth. The look, the feel of him in that moment, had been what was holding me back. More to the point the lack of it backing the words he was telling me had been holding me back. I simply hadn’t believed he felt for me what he claimed to. I turned my attention back to what was going on around me. There was plenty of time to focus on our roller coaster ride of a relationship later.
I had been through an ultrasound before, although it wasn’t going to be like the last one where my baby had been a tiny little blip on the screen that didn’t really resemble more than a shrimp or something non-human. This time, I was going to see my baby looking like a baby and the excitement had me wanting to me my pants. No, seriously. In the most literal way. “I think I might have to go to the bathroom before,” I started to say, causing the doctor to chuckle.
“It might be a little uncomfortable, but honestly, it will probably help with the visuals if you can hang in there until we’re done.”
“Okay, well, at least I warned you, just in case,” I told him. Both men were chuckling after that as the doctor squirted the pre-warmed gel onto my belly. Once he put the wand over my belly he flicked something on the machine and the baby’s heartbeat came through loud and clear. I glanced over at Evan knowing he didn’t understand what he was hearing. “That’s the baby’s heartbeat,” I explained.
“Why is it so fast?”
“Not to worry, that’s a healthy rate at this stage in the game,” my doctor informed him. We watched as he took some measurements, and then he pointed out the beatin
g heart to Evan as well as the fact that our little one was sucking it’s thumb. I didn’t know where to focus my attention. The screen with my baby was beyond fascinating, but Evan’s face was almost as priceless. I could see the sheen of moisture in his eyes as he watched everything with hawk-like attentiveness. Then I saw the moment realization dawned in his eyes and he grinned. The doctor had a similar expression as if they’d just shared a silent secret, and when I glanced over toward the monitor the doctor quickly jerked his hand across my belly looking for a different angle. They weren’t fooling anyone. He’d just seen the sex of the baby. I couldn’t even be mad at him because he didn’t say a word about it. He just kept smiling through the rest of the appointment.
“As you know, the results of the amnio came back before with everything looking good. There didn’t seem to be anything in the results we need to worry about. Your sugar test last time also came back within acceptable parameters. Keep eating healthy and getting plenty of exercise. You’re doing well, and the baby is measuring right on track with your due date.” I figured he was reiterating things for Evan since he hadn’t been with me at the last appointment. My doctor wasn’t stupid. He knew we had a DNA test done then. So, it made sense in most cases that this would be the appointment where the person proven to be the dad might show up.
“Do either of you have any questions for me?”
Neither of us spoke. Evan’s eyes were still glued to the screen before the doctor removed the wand and started wiping the gel off it and then off of my belly. “You can grab one of our cards on the way out and if you think of something later, feel free to call. Any of the nurses should be able to answer most of what you might have to ask.” He then printed off a few things and pulled a flash drive from the machine before handing it over to Evan.
“What’s this?”
“I thought you might want pictures to remember today by.”
Evan glanced down at the printed black and white pictures as well. “Thank you,” Evan stated clearly, but I could hear the gravely layer to his voice that made it impossible for him to hide the emotion he was feeling.
It didn’t take long to get cleaned up, schedule my next appointment, and then get out to where the truck was parked. Once Evan made sure I was inside and buckled in, he climbed in the driver’s side and took another look at the images he’d been handed. That was when he fell apart.
“Evan?” I asked as he leaned his head against the steering wheel while holding the images out to his side so I could take them. “Are you okay?” I asked when he didn’t answer.
“Just, need a minute.” We sat in the quiet of the truck cab as I watched his shoulders shake a bit before he finally got himself together and glanced red-rimmed eyes over at me. “I almost missed all of this,” he whispered as his balled fist rubbed across his chest where his heart was, as if to alleviate an ache there. “I’m so sorry for everything, Anna. I don’t know how to make you believe that, but I will never stop trying to prove to you how sorry I am and how none of it will ever happen again.”
I took my phone out of my purse and texted Beth before I could respond to him.
Me: I’m not going to make it back today.
Beth: It’s okay, slow here. Think I’m going to just close up shop early and get some shopping done. Everything okay?
Me: It’s fine. Evan needs me though. It was very emotional.
Beth: Enjoy the rest of your day, honey.
“How about you take me home and I’ll make us an early dinner?” I suggested after I had the go-ahead to take the rest of the day off guilt free.
“What about work?”
“I just checked with Beth. It’s fine. Let’s go home.”
I thought I heard him repeat the word home, but it was said so low, I couldn’t be sure. Before I could question it, he had the truck started and about to back out of the parking spot before he stopped and threw the truck back in park. “I need to get this off my chest now,” he told me when I turned to ask why he had changed his mind.
“That was our baby. We saw our baby today sucking on its thumb in your belly.”
“We did,” I agreed.
“I never want to miss out on another thing, Anna. Please, promise me that I won’t have to.”
I scooted over on the bench seat so that our sides were touching and I reached up to cup his jaw in my hand feeling the course hairs of the short beard he had started to grow tickle my palm. “I promise you.” My words were softly spoken, but I don’t think they made near the impact as the gesture that followed them. I leaned in and placed my lips to his, sealing that promise with a kiss. His gasped intake of air showed just how surprised he was that I had done it. That only lasted a moment before he pulled me closer still, locking one hand around my neck with the other on my thigh as he deepened the kiss. Good gravy, that kiss would have knocked me flat on my butt had I not already been sitting.
It took me a couple minutes to come back to reality and attempt to peel myself out of Evan’s grasp. When I did, I glanced away quickly, embarrassed that I allowed the simple gesture of a kiss to go too far. The moment I glanced away, my world fell to pieces, I started hyperventilating, and all I could do was point a finger in the direction of pure evil. “That’s…” I didn’t even finish my sentence when I saw the woman duck into a store across the street. No way was I letting her get out of my sight. I jumped from the truck and took off across the road. Evan caught up to me quickly and snagged my arm just before I made it inside the store.
“What the hell is going on?”
“I just saw Seneca,” I whispered. “She just went inside the store.”
“Are you sure? She’s supposed to be in jail, Anna. She couldn’t be out here. The club would have heard about her getting out.
“Of course I’m sure. I’ll never forget her face as long as I live. She took my brother from us.”
I watched as Evan took out his phone and dialed. He held me close to his body as we stood there basically guarding the front doors from anyone who might come out of them.
“We have a problem,” he said immediately when someone picked up. “Seneca is out. She’s in a store downtown right now.” Evan stopped and listened before glancing down at me again. Then he answered whatever question I couldn’t hear from the other end. “Anna spotted her. Pretty sure. She’s shaken up. I had to stop her from chasing after the bitch.”
He listened a few more minutes and then hung up. “Kane is on his way since he’s closest. I want you to go wait in the truck with the doors locked baby. We already know what this whore is capable of. I refuse to risk you or the baby. No arguments.”
Kane pulled up just as I was locking myself in the truck. He spoke to Kane, and then we watched as Kane moved to go inside the store. Not a minute later J-Bird rolled up and wasn’t even off his bike yet before screaming at Evan.
“What the fuck are you doing standing around out here, Joker?”
“I had to stay with Anna, asshole. Kane’s inside. Go help him.”
J-Bird barely made it to the door before Kane was manhandling the woman out the front door. They brought her over to the truck and glanced at their two bikes. “There’s no way either of us can ride with her on our bikes. She’s capable of anything.”
“I’m not getting on a motorcycle with either of you crazy idiots. Let me go. I’ll scream for the police.”
“Good then they can lock you up since you’re supposed to be in jail anyway.”
“No, I’m…” the woman got no more out before J-Bird pinched down on a pressure point near her neck, shutting her up.
“We need your truck,” he stated in his no-nonsense way he had adapted since everything that had happened with Ever and the tattoos she had put on the men of the club.
“I get that, but I can’t put Anna on a bike either,” Evan argued.
“Joker,” Kane called out. “Ever is on her way to get Anna. You can ride my bike back to the clubhouse when she gets here. I’ll go in the truck with J-Bird. She ain’t
gonna stay out much longer.” He tipped his head down to indicate the woman who was starting to stir a bit. They quickly shifted so that I was out of the truck, J-Bird was in the driver’s seat and Kane was securing the woman in the passenger seat. Then they were gone while Evan stood waiting with me for Ever who showed up about three minutes later.
“How is she free right now?” I asked as Ever pulled up in front of us.
“I don’t know, beautiful. That’s what we’re going to find out. Stay with Ever.”
“Heck no. That woman killed our brother. If you think you could keep either of us away you are dead wrong.”
“Fine. Follow me there,” he told Ever as I got inside her car.
“What’s going on?”
“We just saw Seneca out on the street. She went into the shop over there. They guys came and dragged her out and just took off with her to the clubhouse,” I explained to my sister.
“What the absolute fuck?”
“Let’s go find out,” I told her impatiently.
Chapter 15
I rolled up the clubhouse with Ever hot on my wheels. Once the girls were out of the car and we managed to get into the clubhouse, I maneuvered them over to the bar. “I want the two of you to take a seat, and wait here while we figure this out. I know Toby was your brother, but you need to let the brothers do what they do. I’ll come let you know as much as I can in just a bit.” I leaned in and kissed the top of Anna’s head, ready to leave when her hand snaked out and caught a hold of mine to stop me.
“I need to call Gretchen.” It was a demand, but considering she was telling me she was doing it, she was also asking permission in a way, which I respected.
“No. You know how club business works, Anna. She’s never officially been a part of the club since Toby didn’t claim her.”
“That woman you guys have here murdered her man and her baby. It’s her business more than any of yours!” She shouted the words out, bringing all the activity in the room to halt.
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