“Keep your voice down!” she hissed.
“See?” I ranted. “Even now, all you care about is that Greg might overhear what a monster you are. You accuse me of living in the past, but you’re ignoring it altogether.”
“What do you want from me, Ava?” she squealed. “I can’t change the past.”
“No, you can’t,” I agreed. “But you can own what you did. Instead, you act like my behavior has nothing to do with what you let happen to me.”
She threw her hands up, fake polite composure all gone. “Oh, come on, Ava,” she scoffed. “You’re not a child anymore. You’re using…what happened as an excuse to sleep around. You’re old enough to realized that spreading your legs for any boy who looks your way is not the recommended therapy for your…uh, situation.”
My brows shot up. “My situation? Are you fucking kidding me?” I could feel the tears forming, but at this point, I didn’t know if they were from anger or pain. All my emotions were jumbled into one big mess. “I spread my legs so that no guy will ever have to feel like he needs to force them open ever again!”
She had enough of a conscience to flush. “You’re not nine anymore,” she pointed out. “You…you’re not helpless.”
I knew I had anger issues. I knew I was violent and unhinged. I knew my mind was strong where my heart was numb. I knew I was messed up. But I’ve never wanted to beat someone to death the way I wanted to beat on my mother in this moment. She gave me life, and she made sure I had a home, food, clothes, etc. all these years.
But. I. Wanted. To. Kill. Her.
“So, all those women…all those women over the age of nine who’ve been raped or attacked, it’s their fault?” I asked incredulously.
“That’s not what I meant!” she yelled. “Quit putting words in my mouth!”
“Then what did you mean?” Implying that I was old enough to protect myself now suggested that women who’ve been attacked brought it upon themselves, and that was far from the reality of it.
“I just meant that if you’re going to be a whore, then be one. Quit using what Peter did to you as an excuse,” she harrumphed.
“What Peter did to me?” She threw me a tight nod. “All Peter did to me was rob me of my virginity. You’re the one who stole my innocence. When you turned a blind eye, after catching him molesting me, that is what ruined me, Mother. You kept dating a man who fucked 9-year-olds!”
“Stop it!” she screamed. “This is not…lower your voice!”
The pain was unexpected.
The torrent of emotions and pent up betrayal came out of nowhere.
I’ve fought with my mother countless times, but this time was different. This time I was searching for validation that, yeah, while I was jacked-up, I had reason to be. I had a legitimate reason for my confusion and horrible choices. I had a reason to envy the Emersons of the world and cherish the Delaneys of the world.
I wanted someone to step back and say, “Okay, it’s messed up, but you’ll get through this.”
“You let your boyfriend used me for his perverted pleasures and, instead of throwing him in prison, or getting me help, you kept dating him. What in the hell is wrong with you?” I threw at her. “And even after you dumped him, finally, you still didn’t help me. You left me to my own devices to fix myself. Well, I have news for you, Mother. Children aren’t meant to fix themselves. That’s the whole point behind having parents!”
“You could have asked me for help when you got older, Ava,” she snapped, putting this back on me again. “But you didn’t. You chose to just fuck every boy who said hi to you.”
“Because no one was ever going to force me again!” I yelled again. “I’d rather be a whore and give them all easy access than ever feel helpless like I did when I was nine, ever again. I will never be at the mercy of another man’s whims. Ever!”
“I am not going to stand here and take the blame for something you brought upon yourself, Ava,” she announced. “You could have said something the first time Peter made you uncomfortable, but you didn’t. How was I supposed to know you weren’t asking for it?”
I lunged towards her, but before I could reach her, I was encased in a pair of strong, unbreakable arms. That didn’t stop me from failing about, trying to get to her. “You fucking bitch! You…you…”
“Stop,” Ace’s voice commanded near my ear. “Fuck her, Ava. I got you, baby.”
I was crying, screaming, and falling apart, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t hold it in anymore, and I didn’t want to. “You’re worse than a child molester, Elise!” I screamed. “You’re a trafficker. I hope all those diamonds Peter draped you in were worth it!”
“Stop it, Ava,” Ace repeated, and I broke down in his arms. I could hear him telling Elise, “Get out, Elise. Get out and do not come back or I will tell my dad everything I just heard.”
“Ace-”
“Get the fuck out, or I swear to God, I will kill you with my bare hands, Elise,” he threatened. “Get the fuck out!”
I heard the door shut, and I knew as sure as I knew my name, she was rushing downstairs to get Greg out of the house and on their way. I’m not sure if he heard us, but the fact that he hadn’t raced upstairs said a lot, one way or the other.
“Ava,” Ace breathed in my hair. “Baby-”
I wrenched myself out of his hold.
No one was supposed to know about Peter. Even Delaney didn’t know about Peter. And instead of staying downstairs, minding his own business, Ace was up here listening to the ugly truth about me and what Elise let happen to me.
I knew none of this was his fault, and I knew this had nothing to do with him, but that didn’t lend any way to the emotions currently rumbling inside the core of my soul. The first guy I’ve ever felt something for and he heard it all.
“Get out,” I hissed, aiming my anger, shame, and resentment his way now that Elise was no longer in the room.
“Ava…” his voice was firm but compassionate and that was my undoing.
I ran past him and didn’t stop until I was peeling my car out of the driveway. I probably wasn’t in the safest frame of mind to be driving, but I had to get out of there. I needed a place where I wouldn’t be judged. I needed a place where I felt safe.
I needed any place where Ace wasn’t.
Chapter 16
Ace~
I raced down the stairs, my heart threatening to beat out of my chest. When I had gone upstairs, it hadn’t to hear all that. It hadn’t been to find out Ava’s most shameful secrets. It hadn’t been to intrude on the most painful corner of her soul.
Hearing Ava bring up the past had stopped me inside her doorway, but she and Elise had been so wrapped up in their hate for one another, neither woman had noticed me. I seriously hadn’t meant to…become a part of their fight, but when Ava started talking about being molested when she was a child, well, I couldn’t have walked away even if I had wanted to.
It explained so much, hearing what had been done to her, and how Elise let it happen. And, as horrible as what that sonofabitch did to her, I had to agree with Ava. It wasn’t nearly as traumatizing as what Elise had done to her.
What kind of human being lets their child be brutalized like that?
You hear about children being sold and trafficked all the time, but like a horrible reality you can’t cope with, you skim through the news article, feel that pang of sorrow, but quickly move on. You convince yourself it’s not your problem because there’s nothing you can do about it, right? The article is from another country, or another state, far, far away from you.
You’re human, so you feel empathy for all those poor abused children, but because you can’t do anything about it, you move on to a happier article and tell yourself someone else will save them, someone else will help them. After all, that’s what Child Protective Services are for, right?
Right??
I found Elise playing the victim with my father in the kitchen when I headed through there to get to the garage. There wer
e a variety of cars in the garage for whoever’s use and all the keys were hanging along the east wall for that purpose. But when I saw Elise with my dad, I couldn’t run out of there without saying something. I needed to find Ava, but I couldn’t let my dad leave with this evil bitch without warning him of the type of woman he’s been dating.
Elise eyes widened when she saw me. “Ace-”
“Shut the fuck up!” I snapped.
“Ace!” my dad thundered.
I turned to face him, ignoring Elise’s fake tears. “You want to know why Ava brings out the worst in Elise, Dad?” I didn’t wait for him to answer. “It’s because she’s afraid Ava will reveal their little secret.”
“Ace, you don’t-”
My dad’s eyes flickered back and forth between me and Elise. “What secret?” he asked, interrupting her. And it surprised me that he asked. It surprised me that he was willing to hear me out on this.
I jerked my chin towards that heinous bitch. “When Ava was nine, one of Elise’s boyfriends molested her, and Elise knew about it. Worse, Elise let it continue.”
“He’s lying!” she screamed. “He’s lying. Ava’s a liar.”
My dad shook his head. “No,” he denied. “That’s…you’re wrong, Ace. No person would…you’re wrong.”
“I heard them upstairs fighting about it,” I went on. “Ava accused Elise of not caring and Elise accused Ava of asking for it.”
“You bastard!” Elise yelled hatefully. “This is none of your business!”
I stepped to her, and I never wanted to kill someone so badly in all my life, not even my dad. “A monster-any monster who lets children be abused is my fucking business!” Looking at how beautiful this woman was on the outside disgusted me. Monsters should look like monsters. “You let your little girl be used by a grown man for money,” I hissed. “You let him destroy her and you did nothing to stop it. And when he was gone, you did nothing to fix it. You’re lucky I don’t kill you where you stand.”
My dad turned towards her, his face pale. “Elise, is…he’s lying right? He’s just mad. The kids are just mad so they’re…”
“Greg,” she cried, “please, understand-”
He shook his head. “It’s a yes or no question, Elise. Yes or no.” She took too long to answer, and that was all he needed.
I turned to leave, but not before looking at my dad and saying, “We don’t have the best relationship, but if you ever want to have anything to do with me ever again, you better dump that wretched-ass cunt, Greg.” I ran out the door before he could respond to my ultimatum.
I grabbed all the keys off their hooks and got in each car turning them on and checking the GPS history on each car. I had no idea who any of Ava’s friends were or where they lived, so I prayed the ostentatiousness of their wealth would help me find her.
Each GPS had multiple addresses, but only one came up in every single car, and it read Delaney’s. And then I remembered what that girl at the party had said. She had said Delaney was Ava’s best friend.
Thank you, God.
I jumped into the emerald Audi, brought up Delaney’s address, and programmed the goddamn car to take me there.
I knew I wasn’t going to be welcomed, but I didn’t care. I was not going to leave Ava to fight this shit alone. I knew she had baggage, but I never imagined it was the kind of baggage that was damaging to your heart, soul, and mind. I thought it was my kind of baggage; neglect and abandonment.
I never imagined this.
But it didn’t matter. As much as I knew Ava was going to push me away, and want nothing to do with me, she wasn’t going to get her way on this. Suddenly, what happened with the closet didn’t matter anymore. Everything Ava’s done or said since I’ve met her came from a place of confusion and darkness. I couldn’t read into anything she’s done or said so far because, suddenly, I’m reading a different book. The traumatized Ava I heard screaming at her mother is not the strong Ava I’d been going up against since I got here.
Ava wasn’t strong; she was brave, and, therein, lied the difference.
She wasn’t strong enough seek help for what happened to her, but she was brave enough to create a new set of rules for herself so she could exist.
And she wasn’t a victim; that was blatantly clear.
She was just lost.
Ten minutes later, I was rolling up to another goddamn mansion, and I thanked the GPS again when I saw Ava’s car parked in the driveway. I came to a stop and parked in front of the house along the sidewalk. This had to be Delaney’s house, and if it wasn’t, I didn’t care. That was Ava’s car in the driveway and that’s all that mattered.
I got out of the car, and hit the key fob, locking it out of habit. I jogged up the walkway and steeled myself for what I was going to have to face when the door opened-if the door opened. I had serious doubts that Ava would let me in, and if she didn’t give the green light, there’s no way her friend would let me in either. Hell, I didn’t even know if her friend knew what I did.
I didn’t know fucking shit.
For all I knew, she could be in there with another guy doing what she’s always done to cope. She could be fucking some guy, high as a kite, right now, and I wouldn’t even know what to do about that. Oh, I knew I’d kick his ass, whoever he was, but how could I take away her only way of coping? How did I make her pick me? How did I make her choose me to help her through this?
Fuck it.
I raised my hand and started pounding on the front door as I rang the doorbell with my other hand. “Ava!” I yelled through the thick wood. “Ava! Open this goddamn door!” I kept banging on the door until I finally took a step back, looking around, ready to break a fucking window. It was then that the door swung open, and in the doorway, stood a guy who looked ready to murder me.
He stood about my height, and I could tell the guy was solid muscle, but that didn’t scare me. I didn’t scare easily. His burning green eyes stood out surrounded by his dark hair and menacing features, but at least he had clothes on, so he wasn’t in there fucking Ava.
“Where’s Ava?” I demanded.
He cocked his head and crossed his arms over his chest. The dude gave nothing away. “And who the fuck are you?”
Before I could tell him who I was, a lovely and petite brunette with keen brown eyes and a scar across her cheek squeezed her way around him. He grunted as she stood in front of him looking up at me. “I’m Delaney,” she said, introducing herself. “You must be Ace.”
I gave her a quick nod. “Where’s Ava, Delaney?” I asked, not caring how rude I sounded.
“She’s inside,” she answered and moved to step back so I could get through, however, her sentinel wouldn’t budge. She looked back up at him and hissed, “Knock it off, Deke. Let him in.”
Deke looked at me and said, “You do anything to hurt Ava, you won’t leave here alive.”
I arched a brow, but nodded, anyway, because I would never hurt Ava.
Chapter 17
Ava~
When I had arrived at Delaney’s, I hadn’t expected everyone to be here, but when she got a look at my face and ushered me inside, I had seen Ramsey, Emerson, Deke, Liam, and Roselyn all scattered around the living room, booze bottles out and music playing softly in the background.
I knew there was a chance Deke would be home with her, but I never counted on the entire Sands Cove royal family being in attendance. However, I had been such a mess, I hadn’t guarded my words or asked for privacy. I had turned my back on my audience and cried to Delaney, spilling everything.
I ranted and raved about what an unforgiveable bitch my mother was and how Ace knew everything. When Delaney had asked what was everything, it had all come tumbling out. And then I was sitting in one of the chairs as everyone sat around the living room giving me space. But, while they gave me space, they hadn’t excused themselves when I had barged in and poured out all my darkest poisons all over the place.
When I had finished letting everything out about my
fight with Elise and my fight with Ace, Delaney had guided me towards the chair and Emerson had silently handed me a bottle of vodka.
I had grabbed it and almost drank it empty.
The silence in the room had been so palpable, it should have sent me running for the hills, but it hadn’t. I had stayed put and just…purged all the pain and confusion I was feeling. Delaney had sat on the floor next to me and I had wondered if Deke was going to kill me for making her cry.
I knew Delaney, being the kind of person she was, that she’d hurt for me. We were, after all, best friends. But I hadn’t counted on anyone else in the room to give a shit. When I had looked up from the bottle of vodka and glanced around the room, Roselyn had been wrapped up in Liam’s arms with wet eyes and Emerson was looking at me like she was ready to go to war for me.
But what had surprised me the most were the guys. Liam had looked like he was ready to commit murder, whereas Deke had looked like he always did; stoic, except for his arms crossed over his chest, his fists white-knuckled. And Ramsey…Ramsey had looked like he was ready to burn down the entire town of Sands Cove. He had been standing behind Emerson with his hands on her shoulders, and the picture of them together was…regal. With Emerson’s bravery and Ramsey’s relentlessness, those two could rule a country, I bet.
It should have bothered me that they knew what Peter did to me, but it didn’t. For whatever reason, it didn’t. It bothered me that Ace knew, though. That’s what was tearing me up inside. When I started to worry that he would regret touching me, knowing I was damaged the way I was, I started wondering if Ramsey and Liam thought back to when they slept with me and now felt dirty, like they took advantage of a damaged, lost girl, and I had rushed towards the closest bathroom, and threw up everything I’d ever consumed since forever.
The Enemy Series Page 65