So Bad for Me: Bad Boy Forbidden Love Romance Collection

by Jamie Knight

  “Well, okay, the past is the past and however it happened, it happened. So, let’s deal with the present. You have to tell him,” she said, “at least you’ll know if he really cares. This is a great, but unplanned, way to find that out, right?”

  I gave her a “what the fuck?” expression and she added, “I mean, I’m trying to think silver lining here.”

  I appreciated that someone was. However, I disagreed. I told her my suspicions about Steve and what I heard his co-workers saying about and to him.

  “He could be completely out for himself here, Kate,” I told her. “Being a single mom, I don’t need somebody interrupting my life just to try to play me. That’s why I haven’t been talking to him.”

  “If he’s only in it for fun, he’ll not be happy you’re pregnant,” Kate said.

  “I know! That’s my whole fear,” I told her.

  “Well, at that point you’ll know what he’s about and you can choose what to do. You can have the baby and have him not be part of your life. Or maybe he’ll want to be. Wait a minute. Why am I giving him more credit than you are? You’re the one who was obsessed with him for weeks.”

  She laughed, although I didn’t think it was very funny.

  “Yeah, and then I haven’t even seen him for weeks, because I was trying to get un-obsessed.”

  “Well, this really isn’t going to help that cause,” she joked.

  “Sure isn’t,” I agreed.

  “Listen, I understand your fears, but I think you and Steve had something good going on,” she said. “Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith.”

  “Easy for you to say,” I joked.

  She nodded and then gave me a hug.

  “I know it is,” she said. “And I’m here for you no matter what you decide.”

  “Thanks, Kate. I appreciate your support, as usual.”

  “Hey, you were there for me that time I thought it was a good idea to bum around Europe with the guy who told me he was a musician,” she said.

  “Oh yeah. And it turned out that he meant he played his guitar at train stations with a Styrofoam cup for people to drop money into.”

  We both laughed at her lack of foresight about that one. But at least she’d had a fun travel adventure, whereas my escapades seemed to result in lifetime responsibilities.

  I decided to start getting dinner ready and think it through some more. I knew Kate thought I should tell Steve, and I appreciated her advice, but I just wasn’t sure that I would be able to follow it.

  Chapter 9

  Steve

  Three months had passed now, and I’d been unable to see Molly again.

  I simply could not understand what had changed, because everything had appeared to be going well between us. Our relationship had just started becoming serious and I already had deep feelings for her.

  However, everything seemed to be at an end and there was nothing I could fucking do about it.

  It was quite frustrating to not be seeing her because I had become used to her company and her funny stories about her daughter or her job or life in general. It didn’t hurt that our chemistry was off the charts hot and that she was so good in bed.

  Now I didn’t have the ability to even look at another woman the way I looked at Molly, despite the fact that she was refusing to talk to me. I was convinced that I was not going to have another woman in my life, ever.

  After three months, if I couldn’t lay a finger on another woman, I didn’t see how whatever spell Molly had obviously put on me was going to wear off. I had respect for Molly, and I was looking forward to building the thing that we had between us, but she had suddenly disappeared, leaving me baffled.

  Was there something I had said to her that had scared her off?

  Or was something going on in her life that I didn’t know about?

  Had she perhaps found somebody else?

  I didn’t have the answers to the most important questions about our relationship, but I knew I was even more helpless because I had never learned where Molly lived. She always made visits to my house, but I had never once been to her apartment.

  I really was a sitting duck, and I didn’t know what to do. My work colleagues had noticed the change in my demeanor, but they had also noticed that I had stopped going out with several girls at once now for quite some time. Or even just the one.

  I simply didn’t have the heart to find somebody else, as long as there was a chance that something could still happen between Molly and me - even though the chances of that happening were looking pretty fucking slim.

  Frank had actually come into my office one afternoon to discuss the drastic change in my attitude. Most of my colleagues were now happy that I appeared to be focused at work, although I was in a very irritable mood.

  Nobody had seen me in the company of a woman, and Frank came over to my office to congratulate me for the sudden change in behavior. He said that I was finally setting a good example for the new associates who worked at the office and that the company was much more comfortable with me.

  I told him I had turned over a new leaf. However, what I didn’t share with him were the circumstances in which I had done so. I was much more upset, and I spent large amounts of time thinking about Molly. I simply could not get her out of my head.

  Also, I didn’t share the status of my “here and then gone” relationship with Frank because I knew he was just going to be sarcastic about it and also partly because he would never truly believe that I finally wanted to settle down with just one woman.

  But silently, I was dead serious about wanting and missing Molly, and it was starting to drive me crazy. I was desperate to see her again, but it hurt me that she wouldn’t even return my phone calls or even send a message telling me what was going on.

  As the days passed, I was getting more and more convinced that I had done something wrong. Otherwise, why would Molly disappear from me all of a sudden?

  There was the possibility that she had never really liked me in the first place. My generosity certainly pulled her to me, but now it was becoming obvious that she probably didn’t have the same feelings for me that I had had for her.

  The very thought of it caused me to feel more distressed. It was unfair that she should leave me at a time when I thought everything was well. I was confident about my ability to set up a meaningful connection with her.

  Or was it her daughter? Did she feel that I was never going to be responsible for Kelly’s wellbeing and she decided to move on? I wanted to tell her how much I loved her and that I was willing to do anything, but she was nowhere to be found.

  Loved.

  Yep, I guessed I fucking loved her.

  But now I couldn’t tell her.

  There was no need for me to stalk Molly, I told myself; if she truly didn’t want to be with me, then it was just as well. There was also no need for me to behave desperately about the entire situation because it would only make things worse.

  I had been spending countless nights trying to stay up and wait for my phone to ring. I knew that it would be a matter of time before Molly got in touch with me, but after the first month passed, then the second and then the third, I was starting to feel pretty depressed, which was a new feeling for me.

  This was the first time in my life that a woman had gotten to me and made me think continuously about her. Typically, I always moved on to the next one, but I simply could not do that with Molly.

  There was something immensely special about her that I simply could not resist. Also, she was very good in bed, something that made me appreciate her even more.

  I knew that fate was on my side; there was no way I could have met Molly only for everything to disintegrate at the last moment. Maybe the best thing for me to do was find her immediately, because I was losing my sanity being without her.

  I wasn’t sure how to go about that. My friend who had helped get her a job at his chain of restaurants said she had left to go work for one that paid more. I was glad she had gotten a
better job but now I had no way to get in touch with her, since she was ignoring my calls.

  The following morning, I had an idea. I got up and made a conscious decision to go to her favorite restaurant that she once took me to. I would simply wait for as long as possible because she was bound to show up, and it would give me a chance to clear up everything.

  As it turned out, it was a good idea. It was only the second day of me going there to see if I could spot her, and there she was, beautiful as she could be. I was happy that my plan to stake out the restaurant had worked, but as I was entering, she seemed to be done with her meal and getting ready to go.

  I suddenly wavered, feeling like too much of a stalker. She was seated with Kate but they were getting up. I stood outside where I could see them but they couldn’t see me.

  As they got up and left through the front door, I watched as they got into her old, beat up car. There was something strange I noticed about Molly as she walked outside. It looked as if her stomach had gotten bigger.

  Was it possible that she was pregnant?

  Was this why she’d been ignoring me?

  I suddenly wanted to kick myself for coming all this way but not saying anything to her. I started running over to them but, likely not noticing me, they zoomed off in the car.

  This woman had really thrown me for a loop. I wasn’t acting like my normal, confident self at all. I had no idea what had gotten into me but I knew it wasn’t something that could be cured without finding out what was going on.

  And hanging out at her favorite places, waiting to talk to her, wasn’t the way to do it. There had to be a more direct way that didn’t have me looking like some kind of pathetic, deranged stalker.

  For all I knew, she could react badly and call the cops, telling them I wouldn’t stop calling her and was now chasing her down the street. I didn’t think the Molly I knew would do that, but apparently I didn’t much about what was keeping her away from me or why. I had to go about finding out in a different way.

  I stood there on the sidewalk staring until the small, white car had completely disappeared down the street. I had really been hoping that there was something I was going to be able to do to at least get a chance to speak to her.

  There were no two ways about it; I had to come up with a different plan to make sure I could see Molly again and let her know how I felt.

  If that was my baby she was carrying in her belly, it could explain why she had disappeared. Maybe she had overheard one of my many offhand comments about being a bachelor and not wanting kids, etc. I could understand why she would feel hesitant to tell me about a pregnancy.

  But it suddenly seemed different, with her. If that was my baby, of course I wanted it. And of course I wanted Molly – and Kelly.

  I still wasn’t sure what was going on.

  But I was determined to find and claim my child - and Molly.

  Chapter 10

  Molly

  Finally, I said to myself, as I turned to look at the clock above the counter.

  My shift was up and I could go home. This restaurant was better than the last few I’d worked in, but it still wasn’t any picnic. Not that any of them ever were.

  I was looking forward to going home and spending time with Kelly; I had really missed her all day. My pregnancy seemed to be making everything much slower and more difficult for me.

  However, it was a good thing I was already experienced in pregnancy and knew my way around most of the problems I was about to experience. I tried Kate’s approach of finding the silver lining in things. At least I knew what to expect this time around.

  I wanted to wave goodbye to my co-workers but when I turned around, I noticed a familiar, handsome, black-haired man walking in through the entrance.

  Steve?

  My heart nearly stopped. I could not believe that he had found me here, and he had a big smile on his face that matched the cheerfulness of the even bigger bouquet of flowers he held in his hands.

  He was walking straight at me and every step seemed to make me feel faint.

  “Hi, Molly,” he said, “it’s really nice to see you.”

  He handed me the flowers, and I took them, still feeling very weird. I was lost for words and I simply couldn’t understand why Steve had come all this way.

  If he was a player, why was he insisting so much on being with me after we had already slept together?

  “I’d like to apologize for pissing you off,” he said, as though reading the expression on my face. “I realize that I did something wrong; it’s just that I don’t know exactly what made you disappear.”

  I opened my mouth to stammer something, but I simply could not find the words. I was still in a state of shock that Steve could find me with such ease. I actually wanted to ask him how he had found me, but he continued speaking as gently as he could.

  “Could we please go to the bar next door for a drink?” He asked timidly. “I’d really like it if we could talk.”

  I wondered if he didn’t notice my baby bump, which was still a bit subtle at this stage of my pregnancy, but definitely there, or if this was some kind of a test to see if I really was pregnant.

  “Look,” I said, finally finding my voice, “I can’t right now.”

  “Your shift seems to be over,” he said, gesturing at my half-removed uniform. “Please. I won’t take up too much of your time. All I want to do is talk and apologize for anything wrong that I may have done.”

  I sighed loudly. I didn’t want to reject him outright, but over the past few days, I’d been feeling really good with myself and past the problem of dealing with him. I still could not get over the fact that he had managed to find me.

  “I can’t right now,” I said again, twisting my face and knowing very well that as much as I was free, I was really resentful about everything that had happened with Steve and I wasn’t in the mood to talk about it.

  “Come on, Molly,” said Dana, one of the waitresses I work with.

  I was surprised that she was just standing still next to a table with a customer, but all her attention was focused on me. For the first time, I noticed that almost everybody in the restaurant, including the customers, were staring at me.

  “Give him a chance,” one of the customers spoke up, “he’s quite apologetic. He even brought flowers.”

  “Yeah,” piped up Grace, another waitress, “Clearly he’s really sorry. At least hear him out.”

  I could not believe that my co-workers were suddenly ganging up on me. Steve had a big smile on his face; he was reveling in the attention but it was clear that he certainly hadn’t expected my co-workers to offer him a hand.

  I felt that the only way to get rid of Steve was to sit down with him for a drink.

  “Alright,” I said grudgingly.

  “Thanks a lot, Molly,” he said, taking my hand, “it means a lot to me. We can pop into the bar next door.”

  I nodded.

  I followed him out of the restaurant, through the front door, amid gazes from all over the place. I knew my co-workers were secretly happy for me because I had been quite moody over the past few weeks.

  But I was sure they were also happy because I had been refusing to talk about the father of my baby until Steve walked into the restaurant. My tough demeanor was now gone but I also felt that a sense of my privacy had disappeared, as well.

  Once we had made our way to the noisy place next door, we took seats on the side furthest away from the bar, where we would have a chance to speak with minimal interruption. Steve was trying his best to maintain a smile on his face, even though I could see that he was not entirely comfortable with the state of things between us.

  “I’d like to apologize once more for whatever I did,” he said, “I didn’t mean to make you mad in any way.”

  “You did nothing wrong, Steve,” I said, trying not to meet his red-hot gaze.

  “Look, I haven’t been able to get you off my mind,” he said, with a dreamy look on his face. “I think I’ve comple
tely fallen for you.”

  I couldn’t help but smile – just a bit, though. His words might have been music to my ears a couple of months back, but now my lingering thoughts that he was just a player who was using me still would not disappear. I couldn’t be entirely sure about him or his character.

  “Just tell me how you found out where I work,” I said, for once looking him in the eye with a steely gaze.

  He shrugged.

  “Your friend, Kate, told me everything. I remembered you mentioned she worked at the Hinton CPA offices, and so I headed over there, found her and I was able to get her to tell me where to find you. But don’t be mad at her, because I kept insisting.”

  What? Kate? I thought to myself.

  I expected her to be the last person to give information about me to anyone. I was equally surprised that Steve had gone through all the trouble of tracking her down, just to have this chance to chat with me.

  The bar was quite packed and there seemed to be a stream of revelers coming in through the door. The music was anted up slightly, and the place suddenly became much more livelier. Many people were on their feet dancing to the music, but I was not in a partying mood at all, so I was just annoyed by it all.

  “By the way,” said Steve, “they’re taking a long time to come get our drink order. Do they not like us? Or is it because of the sudden increase of people in the bar?”

  I nodded. “That’s probably it. I was also wondering why it was taking so long.”

  However, inwardly, I was glad that we were being ignored. It was a good thing because there was no way I was going to be able to drink with my pregnancy being a factor. I was really hoping that Steve hadn’t noticed.

  “I can’t believe Kate would just tell you where to find me,” I said.

  “Don’t blame her,” replied Steve, “I’m actually good at getting what I want, and so when I spoke nicely to her, and kept insisting, she yielded.”

  I knew that Kate had my best interests in mind. She never would have agreed to let Steve in on where to find me if she thought it would be a bad thing. She had always pushed me to tell him about the baby, and she’d told me I might end up being pleasantly surprised at his reaction.