So, to now find out that it might come back and much more quickly than we wanted? That was a hard blow to take.
“You told Rita and Britain?”
Steve pressed his lips together. I sighed. “You need to tell them,” I said quietly, glancing toward the cracked window that led into the kitchen.
I could hear Rita in there banging around and I didn’t want her to hear what I was saying.
“I know. But I just don’t know how.”
His words drew me up short. The speech I was preparing about just biting the bullet died in my throat at his words.
At the end of the day, I didn’t know what he was feeling about his prognosis. I knew he was unhappy he was sick—why would he be happy about it?—but I had no idea what it was like to get sick and have a family you were worried about.
I knew what it was like to have someone in your family be sick since my brother had his issues after his discharge from the military. But I didn’t know what the other side looked like. Maybe Rich could shed some light if I asked him later.
I licked my lips and considered what to say.
“Steve, I can’t begin to understand what it feels like to be in your shoes. But I know what it’s like to be in their shoes. I think you’re doing them a disservice not being open with them about everything.”
I met Steve’s gaze and held it. I wanted him to get how serious I was. “It’s hard being the healthy one, knowing that someone you love is suffering. It’s really hard. And not having all the facts will make that worse.”
Steve continued to hold my gaze, but before he or I could say anything else, I heard, “What facts don’t we have?”
I winced and my eyes fell shut. Fuck.
I opened them and looked toward the back door where Britain was standing, an empty glass in her hands. She was looking between me and her father.
Neither of us said anything, so Britain asked again, “What facts don’t we have?”
I looked at Steve and saw that he was staring at his daughter, tears gathering in his eyes.
I cleared my throat and stood. “I’ll head out. Let me know if you need anything, Steve.”
I touched him briefly on the shoulder. He nodded and gave me a wavering smile. As I drew close to Britain, she flicked her eyes to me and gave me a look I couldn’t interpret, but she quickly turned her gaze back to her dad.
As I stepped through the back door, I heard Steve say, “Come here, honey, and sit down. Your mom will be out in a minute.”
The door slammed shut behind me and I glanced at Rita, who was standing at the sink washing dishes.
“Thanks for the lemonade,” I said as I walked toward her.
She glanced over her shoulder at me and smiled. “You’re welcome. You’re leaving already? I thought you’d stay a little longer.”
I grinned and said, “I think I need to head out. Steve and Britain are having a talk and you might want to head out there too.”
Rita blinked at me before slowly nodding. She turned the water off and was drying her hands on a towel when I turned toward the front door.
I heard the back door open and closed behind me. A part of me wanted to stay, to be there for them as Steve told them what he’d been told recently at the doctor. But this was a family matter, and as much as I considered myself a good friend, it wasn’t my place.
So instead, I walked out the front door and back to my house, trying not to think about how Britain and Rita would take this newest blow.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
AUGUST
SEVERAL HOURS LATER, it was full dark outside and I could see fireflies flitting around the yard whenever I looked outside.
Rich and I had had dinner and cleaned up. He was now upstairs doing whatever it was he did in the evenings. I was downstairs looking over my plans for the next day at the dining room table when the doorbell rang.
I automatically flicked my gaze to the house across the street, noting most of the windows were dark. I then looked back to my front door.
I had a feeling I knew who was on the other side.
I stood and walked to the door, flicking the lock and pulling it open to reveal Britain standing there looking worn down, her arms crossed over her chest and her shoulders curled forward.
The skin around her eyes was puffy, and her eyes were red as well.
“Hey,” I said, stepping back so she could step inside.
She sniffled as she walked past me, stopping just inside the door. I locked it again before gently curling a hand around her wrist and leading her into the kitchen. I passed her a tissue and went to the fridge, pulling two beers out.
Once she’d blown her nose and tossed the tissue, I handed her an open beer and led her to the back door, holding the door open for her.
Once she was outside, I followed her out onto the screened-in porch.
“Wow, this is nice,” Britain said, looking around the space.
“Thanks. It didn’t always look like this.” I looked around with her, taking in the new decking and other changes I’d made to make this a backyard oasis.
When I first bought the house, there was a rinky-dink deck out here that was in danger of falling over at the next stiff breeze. I tore it down and slowly worked on getting a better porch built, then screened it in. I slowly bought furniture for it and had only recently gotten everything exactly how I’d wanted it.
There was an outdoor dining table with chairs on one side and a seating area on the other with a television against the outside of the house. I’d had two ceiling fans installed out here, which were on, and they helped to keep things cool on the porch.
Overall, it was a nice space and one that I was proud of having done mostly by myself.
She walked over to the couch I had back there and sank down onto one side and I joined her, but on the other end.
I said nothing at first and just let the silence wash over us. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out why she was at my house.
Neither of us spoke for several minutes and we just sipped our beers, the only sound that of the gentle whirring of the fans and the cicadas in the trees.
Britain sighed, and I glanced at her, finding that she was now looking at me.
“I didn’t realize you went to see my parents like that,” she said.
Not where I thought she’d start, but okay.
I shrugged. “I try to see them once a week, sometimes more. I’ve been over little since you got home. I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about it.”
She took a long pull from her bottle and looked thoughtful before saying, “If I had found out before all this shit today, I probably wouldn’t have liked it. But knowing why you were there today; I think I’m okay with it.”
I nodded. “I’ll stop going over or I’ll make sure you’re not there if you’d like.”
It pained me to suggest that, but I didn’t want her mad at me for seeing her parents.
She shook her head. “No, you can go whenever, even if I’m there. It’s obvious my dad needs someone to talk to that isn’t me, my mom, or his doctor.”
She laughed, but it wasn’t a pretty laugh. It was the laugh of someone that couldn’t quite believe what she’d been told earlier. It was the laugh of someone that didn’t have hope.
We didn’t speak for another few minutes. Britain leaned forward, pulling my attention to her, and I watched as she dropped her head into her hands, her beer forgotten by her feet.
“I just can’t believe he didn’t tell us all that. I knew he was sick and that he was getting treatment, but last I knew, the cancer was one that was easily treated and they expected a quick recovery.”
I said nothing. What could I say to that? I was angry for Britain that her dad had kept that from her, but I couldn’t say that.
She continued talking. “I just don’t get why he, and they, downplayed everything. I knew it was bad enough I needed to come home to help. I didn’t mind. They’re my parents. I want to help them out. I just don’t get
why my dad thought it was best to keep this secret from me and my mom about how he was doing.”
She said nothing and after a few beats, I said, “I’m sure it wasn’t easy to keep it from you. I could tell how torn up he was about it earlier.”
She nodded. “Yeah, I get that. But I’m still so angry.”
“Understandable,” I said softly. “You love him. You want him to get better. And you just found out that he might get better only to get sick again.”
She nodded but stayed in the same position. I would give anything to get a glimpse of her face to get an idea of what she was thinking or feeling. Anything that would help me comfort her.
“It’s hard. I’ve been gone for so many years following my dream, which they supported me in. But now that I’m home because of something like this, what if I don’t have enough time with either of them because of it?”
Her voice cracked, and I didn’t think or hesitate as I scooted across the couch cushions and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her into me.
She let out a loud sob. I didn’t really know what to do here since I’d never been around crying girls all that much. So, I just sat there, held her to me, and hoped that it was enough.
I ran my hand up and down her arm in a soothing motion, hoping I communicated that I was there for her. I murmured different things in a low voice, trying my best to soothe her, hoping it was helping.
It seemed to be because after several minutes of crying, she calmed until she was only hiccupping every so often.
“Thanks,” she whispered as she pushed herself upright.
I scooted a little away from her but was still close enough to touch her. “No prob. I don’t mind.”
She looked at me and shot me a small smile. Even though her eyes were even more puffy and red than they were earlier and her nose had now joined that, she was still beautiful. The most beautiful woman I’d ever seen besides my mom.
At that thought, I realized I was fucked. Majorly fucked.
A decade had done nothing to dampen my feelings toward her. If anything, they were stronger now than they’d been before.
Fuck. What was I supposed to do? She’d just gotten potentially devastating news about her dad, and I’d just realized she was still the love of my life.
Fuck. Me.
We sat in silence for several more minutes and I finished my beer in that time, letting Britain finish pulling herself together.
“I’m getting another beer. You want one?” I asked her as I stood.
She nodded and quickly drained her bottle, holding it out to me.
I went back in and tossed our bottles into the recycling before grabbing two more from the fridge and going back out.
We sat in silence again and it was only broken when Britain said, “I left the military to come home to be with my parents and help them out until my dad was better.” She paused and sipped her beer. I continued to stare at the fireflies in the yard and waited for her to continue.
“My plan was to come home, do my thing here, be a part of the Reserves and eventually find my way back to Active Duty or as a full-time reservist.”
Everything in me froze at her words. She wanted to go back to full-time in the military?
She wasn’t done. “I still want that. But now I’m torn. How can I go back to that knowing that my parents are likely to still be struggling while I’m wherever it is that I’ll be and they’re here? If I go full time, I won’t be close most likely. I think the closest I’d be would be a few hours away, and that’s if I were to get that base.”
She stopped talking again, and I didn’t know what to say.
It was safe to say she’d just rocked my world with her admission. I’d had no idea that she was looking to do that. None.
I sipped my beer and asked, “You have a Reserve spot?”
She nodded. “Yeah, at the base thirty minutes from here.”
“Right.” I didn’t know that either. But why would I? This was the first time we’d really talked since she’d been home.
“When’s your next duty?”
“In a few weeks.”
I licked my lips and took a sip of beer, trying to wet my suddenly dry mouth. My stomach bottomed out at her words. “How long will you be gone?”
“Only a weekend this time.”
I nodded. “Right.”
A felt an icy chill as we continued to talk about this. It was hard for me to discuss this with her because of my own issues with the military.
I’d stupidly thought that when Britain came back to Sunnyville that she was back for good. But I knew her, and I should have known that she likely was looking for ways to continue to live her dream.
And she was.
The only thing now was I could see her doubting that her dream was the right thing to do.
As much as I wanted to encourage her to not continue toward that dream, I knew it wasn’t the right thing to do.
“Have you talked to your parents about this?” I asked.
She nodded. “Yeah. When I told them my commission was up, and I was coming home, they balked. Said they were fine. Then I told them my plan, how I could continue in the Reserves and then one day get another active slot. They still don’t love that I’ve put my career on hold, but they understand why. And they fully support me continuing to do that.”
“Then why doubt it suddenly?”
“Because!” She said, looking at me with fire in her eyes. “My dad just admitted that he might battle this cancer for longer than we thought. That it might come back. That it scared him.”
Her voice cracked on the word scared and her eyes were glistening, but she kept going. “I don’t see how I can follow my dreams knowing that if that holds true, my dad might die and I won’t be here to be with him.”
She went silent and sucked in a ragged breath.
Fuck.
“I think you need to talk to them,” I said.
“I don’t know how,” she admitted in a whisper.
Jesus. It was history repeating itself only a few hours later.
“Just start talking, much like your dad did earlier.”
She sighed and took a long drink from her beer. I did the same.
I never in a million years thought I’d be sitting here with my ex-girlfriend, the one that got away, discussing her military career considering how opposed to it I was.
Did this mean I was growing up, for lack of a better word? Was I able to get past my hold-ups about it because it was Britain?
I glanced at her from the corner of my eye and watched as she took another long pull from her beer and decided that, yes, that was it. It was because it was Britain.
It was because it was her and I still had feelings for her that I wanted to act on.
I could admit it now.
“I know I said it earlier,” she whispered, making me look at her with my beer bottle halfway to my lips. “But thank you for lunch.”
“No prob. I enjoyed it.”
“I did, too.”
I grinned and sipped my beer. “We should do it again sometime.”
“We should.”
That grin morphed into a full smile. “How 'bout tomorrow night?”
Britain said nothing at first. Then, “Tomorrow night?”
“Yeah, tomorrow night. I’ll take you to dinner.”
She said nothing again. “Dinner?”
“Yeah, you know that meal people eat at the end of the day. Sometimes they share it with people they like, they’re dating, or that they’re related to.”
“I know what dinner is, jackass. You’re asking me to dinner?”
“Yep. Tomorrow night. I’ll get you at seven.”
“I can meet you there.”
I barked out a laugh. “That won’t work for me. You live across the street. It’s wasteful for us both to drive. I’ll take us there and get you at seven.”
Britain huffed, and I couldn’t help chuckling. I was remembering how cute she was when she got worked
up.
When she said nothing, I prompted, “Tomorrow night, seven?”
“Tomorrow night, seven.”
“It’s a date.” I grinned into my bottle as I felt her stiffen next to me.
“A date?” She asked.
“Yep. A date.”
She said nothing to that for a while, and I wondered if she would.
“You’re calling it a date.” A statement, not a question, but I answered it anyway.
“Yep. It’s what you call something you go on with someone that you like.”
She was silent again, and it took everything in me to not look at her and act very nonchalant about this entire episode.
I could see she was looking at me from the corner of my eye. In fact, I could feel the weight of her stare boring into the side of my face.
“You like me?” There was a little fear in her voice with that question.
“Of course, I like you,” I said softly, glancing at her. “I dated you back then, and I’d love to date you now.”
She sucked in a surprised breath at those words, and I mentally cursed myself to saying them. That was more than I’d wanted to admit right then. I’d wanted to ease Britain and me back into the idea of dating.
That backfired. Big time.
“Oh.”
I didn’t push her to say more, and she said nothing for a long time.
She finished her beer and stood. I looked at her. “So, tomorrow night you’ll get me at seven.”
I nodded. “Yeah. Don’t dress up too much. I’m not taking you anywhere fancy.”
She smiled softly and nodded. “Okay. I should probably head home.”
“Right.”
I stood and followed her inside, showing her where the recycling was and walking her to the door.
She paused with her hand on the knob and glanced over her shoulder at me. “Thank you.”
“For what?” I asked.
“For… everything.”
Before I could figure out what else to say to her, the door was open, and she was gone, hurrying across the street to her own house.
Vetted: An Everyday Heroes World Novel (The Everyday Heroes World) Page 10