“You mean that?” She asked, breaking into my thoughts. “You really mean that you’re willing to support me, whatever I decide?”
I nodded. “Yeah. A relationship is about give and take. I was taking, but not giving much in return. If you want to go back to active status, I won’t argue with you about it and I’ll support whatever you decide. Though I want it known that you deploying will probably give me gray hairs.”
She laughed lightly and shook her head. “Don’t worry. After deploying this time, I realized that my time as an active member of the military was done. I don’t mind my reserve duty, but I can’t see myself going back to full time in the military.”
We stared at each other. “So, what does that mean?” I asked after several moments of silence.
She sighed and rubbed a hand over her jean clad thigh before saying, “It means that if they’ll let me, I’d like to continue my reservist duty. But I’m honestly not sure if they’ll let me continue with my injuries. It depends on how I heal.”
I nodded. “And us?”
She was silent again, and I waited with bated breath to see what she said. “I’d like for us to try again.” She paused and cleared her throat before saying, “I did a lot of thinking while I was gone. I wasn’t without my own issues. I should have tried to talk to you more about what was going on and what I wanted. I just know that I like my life with you in it and I want us to… really give us a shot.”
I nodded. I wanted that, too. The time apart from her was the worst, and it made me realize how much I preferred my life with her in it.
“So… dating?” I asked with a small grin.
She nodded. “Yeah. But I want us to take it slow. I’ve got a lot I’ve got to do with my injury, and then I need to see about starting back to work when I’m able. And I think we need to get to know who we are now and not assume that we’re that same people were then, you know?”
I nodded. “I can do that.”
We grinned at each other. “You want something to drink? Then you can fill me in on your time away?’
“You mean besides the getting blown up part?”
I winced at her words. “Too soon?” She asked with a small giggle.
“Just a little,” I muttered, pushing myself to standing. “Drink?”
“Water, please. I’d kill for a beer, but the doctor said it won’t mix well with my meds. So, I’m a few weeks off from being able to drink.”
I nodded and retrieved our drinks before walking back and handing her a water and placing my own on the table next to me.
“So, tell me everything,” I prompted, looking at her expectantly, thankful I talked to her again and made amends.
And that we were getting another fresh start.
Wasn’t the saying third time was the charm? I was determined for it to hold true with us.
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
BRITAIN
AFTER TALKING WITH AUGUST, I felt better about how we’d left things. But I couldn’t say I believed him. He’d said those things before and look where that had gotten me.
Heart break. Twice.
My first week back passed in a blur of pain meds and slow, painful walks around the house, and eventually, the block.
I heard people drop by throughout the day, but I stayed upstairs in bed, not wanting to face anyone with my cane.
My injury was such you couldn’t see it and you wouldn’t know it was there unless you saw the cane or noticed my limp, but I was still feeling a little on edge about it.
August also popped by, coming upstairs, and we talked on the phone a few times. But that was it. Nothing else. No kisses, hand holding, or anything that was remotely romantic. It was such that by the time he’d left after his seventh straight day visiting me that I wondered if we’d even had that conversation on his back porch at all.
However, my mom was eventually tired of me staying upstairs and let the girls from the vet clinic upstairs to see me and they dragged me out, which is how I found myself at Hooligans two Saturdays after I got back home.
When we first arrived, it hadn’t been too packed. People were playing pool and scattered throughout the bar floor at tables with a few people sitting at the bar.
Amy had snagged us a table close to the door and away from the crowd, something I was thankful for.
I didn’t seem to experience too many side effects from my injury, but the thing with PTSD was you never knew when it would hit. I felt fairly confident that I would probably be fine since I had had no episodes, but I couldn’t help worrying about it as I glanced around the room, which was steadily filling as I sat there.
“Britain.”
I glanced over my right shoulder toward the male voice I heard there and saw Grant Malone standing there, a longneck in his hand.
“Hey,” I said with a small smile.
He nodded to the girls and looked back at me. “I heard about your injury and when I saw you over here, I just wanted to come see how you were doing.”
Without thinking, my hand darted down to my right leg, lightly brushing the bandages hidden under my loose pants.
“Not too bad. It’s good to be home, though,” I said, trying to muster a smile.
He nodded again and two other men—his brothers Grayson and Grady—joined him and I shook their hands when they held them out.
“We’ve all been thinking about you since we heard you were injured. Let us know if you need anything,” Grant said.
A more genuine smile spread across my face at his words, and I nodded. “I will. Thanks.”
“First round is on me,” Grady said, waving a waitress over.
Amy came back with a pitcher of beer and a stack of glasses while Grady talked to the waitress. Amy eyed the Malone brothers before raising her brow at me as she passed the glasses out. I gave a small shrug and her other brow joined the first one.
I had a feeling I’d be questioned once the men in question were gone.
With a clap on the back from each, the men soon left us alone, and we all stared after them.
“They might be married with kids, but they still look hot as hell,” Tanya said, pouring beer into a glass and sliding it my way.
Everyone nodded. “You got that right.”
“What was that about?”
I told her briefly, and she dropped it when she saw that I was uncomfortable.
I didn’t mind talking to people about my service or even my injury, but I always felt awkward doing so. I knew that I was making a sacrifice few would make by joining the military and deploying and that people were thankful for it, but it always made me feel like an imposter for being thanked for my service.
Though the Malones hadn’t done that, I couldn’t help my discomfort at being recognized by them and them coming over. I’d hoped to fly under the radar tonight.
But with them coming over to talk to me, I soon realized that wouldn’t be the case.
With the Malones coming to see me, other patrons came over to shake my hand, thank me for my service, and ask how I was doing. Most of them bought the table a round of drinks or shots, which meant that we quickly accumulated a collection of beer and cocktails plus the empties we’d already finished.
I’d slowly weaned myself off the pain pills I’d been on, so I didn’t feel bad for imbibing more than I had in a while—being in the desert didn’t exactly give you a lot of opportunity to get drunk—but I didn’t drink too much because I wanted to keep my wits about me.
The other girls didn’t have that problem, though. They alternated who drank the drinks I didn’t want, and they were all quickly three sheets to the wind. It made for an entertaining night listening to them talk about the patients they’d seen while I was gone and talking about other gossip from the town.
It was so normal that it was exactly what I needed. And I hadn’t realized it until I was sitting in Hooligans at the high-top wooden table that was slightly sticky from the drinks that had been spilled on it that I was thankful for these girls.
“Incoming,” Amy muttered before taking a large sip of her beer.
My brow furrowed at her words and it wasn’t until a familiar scent hit me that I realized August was standing there.
“Ladies,” he said, smiling and nodding at the girls who smiled sloppily back. “Britain.”
He looked at me and smiled, and I couldn’t help smiling back.
“You good on drinks?” He asked, eyeing all the empty glasses on the table.
“I think we’re good,” I said dryly, arching a brow as Tanya teetered on the edge of her chair as she tried to stand. “We might need a round of water.”
August chuckled as Tanya righted herself and staggered toward the bathroom at the back.
I made a note to try to go check on her or send someone to as I remembered my leg, if she wasn’t back soon.
“You look like you’ve had a fun night,” August said, stepping closer to me as someone squeezed between him and the person behind him.
With that move, I looked around and realized how packed the bar now was. I hadn’t paid attention earlier because I was focused on hanging out with my friends.
But there wasn’t much room left to stand, and all the tables and chairs were taken.
I cleared my throat and looked back at him. “Yeah. A lot of people came up to me to talk and bought us a round each time.”
His brows rose, and he looked back at the empties. “Wow, really?”
I nodded. “Yep. I’m going to have to pour these ladies into a taxi soon.”
He chuckled. “I’d agree.”
Neither of us said anything for a few moments before glancing around the table, noting that it was worse than I’d said. Amy was slumped with two half-filled beer glasses in front of her, and the others were slumped over the back of their chairs.
“I’ll start herding them outside and will drive everyone home,” August said.
I nodded and bit my lip to hold back the laughter that threatened to bubble out at August working to get my friends together and outside to his car.
Watching him do that was what I imagined it would look like if someone tried to herd cats. It was hilariously fascinating to watch. They were like limp noodles and it took several minutes of prodding to get them moving.
Once he got them moving, one bartender came over to help and August stepped over to me to help me stand.
Well, help me stand is saying it loosely. He didn’t actually touch me, only stood to the side as I slowly used the back of the chair to get myself upright before snagging my cane and slowly making my way through the crowd.
I expected to have to fight through, but August went before me asking people to move out of the way and a path was quickly cleared for me to the door.
I was thankful.
Once outside, the bartender already had the girls in the back of August’s car and had opened the front door for me.
It took some maneuvering and help from both men to get me into the seat and buckled. I was sweating by the time August started driving and knew I might have pushed it a little too hard that night.
But it was worth it because of the laughter from the backseat and how relaxed I felt.
It took August almost an hour to get everyone home and inside their houses, and I was half-asleep when he pulled to a stop outside my parents’ house.
“Just park in your driveway. I’ll walk home.”
“Not happening. You look ready to drop and I don’t trust your legs to hold you up.”
I wanted to grumble at him and tell him he had nothing to worry about, but my legs were aching and walking from his house to my parents wasn’t something I was 100 percent sure I could do. I’d never tell him that, though.
He walked around the car and opened my door, reaching down to grab my cane as I swung my legs out. He then took the brunt of my weight as I worked myself to standing.
Once on my feet, I expected him to let me go so we could walk to the front door and inside, but he didn’t. Instead, he brought a hand up to cup my cheek and his breath lightly fanned across my lips.
I looked at him, wishing it was brighter outside so I could see more of his face. The light on the side of my parents’ house was on, but it splashed August’s face with shadows and only allowed me to see part of one eye and the curve of his jaw and lips. I couldn’t read an expression on his face to get an idea of what he was thinking.
“I’m sorry I’ve been quiet this week.”
I blinked at him as his words filtered through my brain.
“I’m sorry?” I asked, not sure what he was trying to say.
He cleared his throat and lightly traced his thumb over my lips as he said, “I’m sorry I was distant. We had our talk, and I didn’t want to rush anything with you, so I went in slow. Thinking back, I could see the confusion on your face and the disappointment yesterday. I should have said something, but I didn’t want to put anything else on your plate.”
My brow furrowed as I processed what he was saying.
“What are you saying?”
He sighed and dropped his forehead to mine, making me freeze. “I was distant and shouldn’t have been. I wanted to see you every day and spend more time with you. But I know you’ve got a lot going on with your injury and I don’t want to rush you.”
“Rush me,” I repeated.
“Yeah. You just got back, and I made a huge mistake. I don’t want you to feel rushed into anything.”
I swallowed thickly at his words, letting them bounce around in my head for a few moments before saying. “So, you’ve been acting like my best friend this week because… what? You didn’t want to pressure me?”
I felt him nod. I blinked. “Why? We agreed we’d give it a shot and you acting like a friend made me think that I’d misunderstood what you were saying.”
A small voice in the back of my head screamed that I could have reached out and asked him about it if I’d wanted to know what was going on, but I quickly quieted it. I was honestly curious to know what August would say.
He sighed. “I know, I know. Your parents and Rich all told me I was being stupid.”
“You were,” I said, cutting him off. “I thought after we talked that you’d realized that you were better off without me.”
Silence greeted my words. “I’m not,” he finally whispered. “I’m better with you. So much better.”
He sighed and continued, “You’ll never know exactly how scared I was when I found out you’d been injured and we waited to hear if you were going to be okay. My heart almost stopped that day with the news. If I could have gone to you, I would have.”
My heart was in my throat at his words.
“If you’d died…” he trailed off, and I could feel a shudder work its way through his body. “If you’d died, I don’t know what I would have done.”
Emotion was clogging my throat, and I didn’t know what to say to him. I wasn’t sure there was anything I could say to him.
He continued speaking softly, so softly that I almost couldn’t hear him. “I’m so pissed at myself for letting my own fears get in the way of what was the greatest thing in my life. I knew after you left that I was stupid, but I couldn’t pull my head out. I still couldn’t once you got home either. Seeing you with that cane made me realize I’d almost lost you.”
His forehead slid down until it was resting on my shoulder lightly and I stood there looking over his shoulder, trying to process everything he was telling me.
“I’m so stupid and I don’t know that I deserve you,” he whispered and my heart broke a little at those words.
I realized as I stood there that I hadn’t exactly made things easy on him. Yeah, I would meet him halfway to a point, but I wasn’t willing to compromise on my own dreams knowing how he felt about them.
Should I have to give up my dreams? No, I shouldn’t. But I would give something up, like going back to active duty full time, for the chance at something amazing.
And that’s what being with August would be: amazin
g. It would be the best thing in my life. I just knew it.
I knew it when we were in college, and I knew it when I saw him again in town. I still knew it now as I held him to me.
“I think we should talk more tomorrow,” I said, my voice hoarse. “But I hear you.”
He sucked in a deep breath and kept his head on my shoulder before slowly standing, his eyes searching mine before he nodded. “Okay. I’ll come over and we can talk?”
I nodded. “I’ll even let you take me to breakfast.”
He grinned at me in reply before the grin slowly slid off his face. “Can I kiss you goodnight?”
I nodded. I didn’t even have to think about it. I wanted nothing more than for him to kiss me.
I sucked in a breath as August slowly dropped his head toward mine and I tilted my chin up so that when his lips brushed mine, I was ready for him.
Our lips brushed once, twice, three times before he pressed his lips to mine in a harder kiss.
I wanted to reach up and wind my arms around his neck, but my legs were slowly weakening and I knew I’d have a problem soon if I didn’t get inside.
I pulled back and licked my lips as I looked at August. “I need to head in,” I said.
He nodded. “Let me help you.”
Without further words, he helped me walk the short distance to the front door and up the stairs to my room. The house was dark and I couldn’t hear my parents. It was close to midnight, and they were likely already asleep.
Neither of us spoke as August helped me get ready for bed and when he went to leave, I grasped his hand, stopping him.
Our eyes met, and we stared at each other. I couldn’t think of what to say to put into words how I felt and tried to communicate to August that I was in. After several moments, his gaze softened, and he stepped to me, pressing a kiss to my lips.
“I’ll see you tomorrow morning and we’ll talk.”
I nodded and watched him walk out of my room. I listened as he walked down the stairs and to the door, the floor creaking as he did.
The door opened and closed before I heard the lock turning, telling me that August had a key to my parent’s house.
I wanted to get up and walk to the window to watch him go the short distance to his house, but I was suddenly exhausted.
Vetted: An Everyday Heroes World Novel (The Everyday Heroes World) Page 23