“You said that,” I remind him. “Besides, don’t you have to question her formally, anyway? Why take away my fun?”
He gives a long blink. “Fine, but I’m sticking close by.”
“Should we go over our script for the big game?” I tease.
“Nah. We’ve got this on lock.”
Jasper and I burn through the appetizers with the others, and before too long we find ourselves up on the makeshift stage at the front of the establishment with Juni and Dr. Bernstein to the right of us, and Georgie and Buck on our left. Lucky for us, there were no other takers so the six of us have the entire establishment at rapt attention.
We’re seated in ladder-back chairs with a stack of white poster boards on our laps, the size of a briefcase, and we’ve each been armed with a permanent marker. There’s a cardboard partition between each of us, like the kind they use in voting booths but shorter. I can see everyone’s head, but I can’t sneak a peek at the answer they’ll be jotting down. Not that Jasper and I would have to resort to cheating. If I wanted to do that, I wouldn’t have told him to think naughty thoughts about me while contemplating his answers. That way instead of getting insight to whatever it is he’s about to say, all that I’ll pick up on is white noise.
Standing before us, Keegan looks polished—even more so than she was when we met up a little while ago at the bar. Her hair teased out and her pink lips shine like glass under the duress of the white-hot spotlight pointed at us.
“Question number one!” She holds out a notecard in front of her. “If your significant other won the lottery, what would be the first thing they would buy?”
“This is easy.” Georgie snorts.
“Easy?” I glance over and both she and Juni are scribbling away their answers—so are their supposed significant others.
I shoot Jasper a quick look and he’s staring down at his lap, looking stumped.
What would Jasper buy if he won the lottery?
Something for us? For me?
Of course. He’s so sweet, he’d probably run out and buy me some flashy piece of jewelry.
I write flashy jewelry down as fast as I can.
“Time’s up!” Keegan waves the card at us. “Couple number one, Juni and Dr. B. Let’s see your answers.”
Dr. B is the way Juni introduced the esteemed medical practitioner. She told the crowd he performs invasive surgery on very important people and that there might be a hit out on him.
And there might be if Juni’s on-again, off-again boyfriend, Butch, gets wind of someone carting his woman around in a Bentley.
Juni and Dr. B hold up their cards and the room explodes with applause.
“Wonderful!” Keegan laughs and claps. “You both gave the same answer—Hogs. And judging by those jackets, I bet I know what kind.” The crowd whoops and hollers. “Couple number two, Georgie and Buck. Let’s see what you’ve got.”
The two of them flash their cards at the crowd, and the room lights up again with a raucous applause.
Keegan laughs at the sight. “You both said a hot air balloon. That’s quite an eccentric purchase. I’ve got to give it to you. The two of you really know each other well.”
Jasper and I exchange a look, and his lips twitch with a smile.
If anyone around here knows one another, it’s Jasper and me.
“Couple number three, Bizzy and Jasper—show us your answers!” Keegan sings, and both Jasper and I hold them up at the very same time.
The room goes quiet and a groan works its way through the crowd.
“What?” I say as I lean over to read Jasper’s card. “An electric guitar?” I practically choke out the words. “Why would I buy an electric guitar?”
“For me,” he says, wild-eyed. “I’ve always wanted one.” He leans over and looks at my answer. “Fancy jewelry? Good to know.” And judging by that look on his face, he looks worried for both himself and me. I’m guessing a bauble from Tiffany’s isn’t in the cards for me.
The next question is much easier. What is your partner’s most annoying habit?
The six of us get right back to work, and soon Keegan has Juni and Dr. B. flipping their cards over to the audience.
“You both said chewing on your toenails,” she cringes as she says it, but the crowd howls with approval.
Wonderful.
If Jasper and I lose to a couple of toenail munchers, I’m going to flip every table in this place.
“Couple number two, Georgie and Buck.” Keegan nods their way and they flip their cards, causing the room to break out into a riot of laugher. “Hot air balloons! I’m sensing a theme here, you two,” she says as the crowd laughs hysterically once again. “Bizzy and Jasper, let’s see what you’ve got for us.”
We flash our cards, and the crowd groans hard this time.
“What did you say?” I lean past the partition to see Jasper’s answer and gag. “I do not drool in my sleep.”
He winces. “I didn’t say it bothered me.”
“No,” I snip. “Just that you found it annoying.”
I flash my card his way and he blinks back.
“I left the toilet seat up once. And believe me, you haven’t let me forget it since.” A sly smile glides up one side of his face.
Very funny.
“Next question.” Keegan waves her notecards at us. “What is your partner’s favorite food?”
Seems innocuous enough. And simple for once.
Juni and Dr. B. flash their cards—Indian, a perfect match on both their parts.
Georgie and Buck give their requisite hot air balloon answer, and the crowd eats it right up.
Cheaters.
Jasper and I hold up our answers, and the crowd actually boos at us this time.
Jasper said Italian, and I said Chinese.
“Italian?” I scoff over at this apparent stranger next to me. “Then why are we eating Chinese five days a week?”
“Because I thought you liked it.”
“I thought you liked it, too.”
“I do.” His brows hike in the way they tend to when he’s defensive. “I just like it a little bit more knowing that you care to put away that much kung pao chicken in a week.”
My mouth falls open.
The beat goes on in exactly that way. Next question—what is your favorite couple’s activity?
Juni and Dr. B. both give a rather X-rated answer, and since they’re yet again a perfect match, the crowd goes wild. Georgie and Buck go with their standby and get a chuckle from everyone in the room while they’re at it. And Jasper and I once again stun the crowd into silence. I said reading and he said running.
“When have I ever run?” I shake my head at him, trying to understand this alien whom I’ve pledged to spend the rest of my life with.
“Since when do we read together?” he counters.
The final question we actually do get right. When did you have your first big fight? Jasper and I both answered tonight. And I’m sure he meant that in the future tense, as did I.
Keegan shakes her head. “Don’t worry, Jasper and Bizzy. You’re not the first married couple we’ve seen crash and burn.”
“Wonderful,” we both mutter in unison.
At least we’re in sync with something.
Keegan holds up a hand. “It’s a tie for the other couples,” she shouts as the room explodes with cheers. “Two free dinners for lucky couples one and two. Thank you all for playing!”
The music kicks on again, and the dance floor is quickly swamped. I bolt over to Keegan as she switches off the microphone and hands it to a bartender.
“You were great,” I say, and she laughs my way.
“Well, I wish I could say the same about you. But don’t worry. It was all in fun. I’m sure you and your handsome husband are as solid as a rock.” And I do mean handsome. Those other women might be eating free hot wings tonight, but Bizzy is going home with a real meal.
I’d have to agree with her on that one.
“
You know, I just figured out why you look so familiar to me.” I lick my lips as I dive on in. “I run the Country Cottage Inn, and I think I saw you at the Perfect Pairing event the other night.”
Her eyes squeeze shut a moment. “Yes, actually, I was.” She blows out a breath. Now there’s a night I never want to think about again.
“I’m sorry. That was pretty horrible what Bobbie did to you in the ballroom.”
She shrugs. “She got hers in the end, I guess.” And so did he.
“Is it true?” My shoulders hike as I ask the question. “Were you and Chip—”
“No.” Her eyes grow wide. How dare she ask me that. She makes a face. “I was his secretary. Look, I’m going through a messy divorce. My ex is Hartford Merritt. Does that name ring a bell?”
My mouth falls open. “The same Hartford Merritt that stars on Second Chance Family?” It’s a sitcom I used to watch way back when, but it’s still on the air as far as I know.
She nods. “Every Tuesday night at eight. He’s already got four Emmys blowing up his ego.” She makes a face. “It turns out, I knew him even less than you know your husband.” She shrugs. “Sorry. That came too easy. Anyway, I applied all of the ridiculous principles Bobbie and Lacey doled out and it landed me in the biggest mess of my life.”
“I’m sorry to hear it. Is that why you turned to Chip? For comfort?”
She shakes her head as she gives a brief look around. “Look, I don’t make much here. And to be honest, that side gig as Chip’s secretary wasn’t exactly covering my bills either, so I was forced to get creative.”
“Creative?” My ears ride up a notch, anxious to hear exactly what she has to say.
She sighs as if she’s loath to say what comes next. “I’m a professional cuddler.” Her eyes close a moment. “Please don’t say anything. I’d hate for word to get out around here. It’s just something I’m doing that’s very low-key.”
“I’m sorry—a professional what?”
“Cuddler. You know, hugs? Anyway, Bobbie has long suspected that Chip was fooling around, and well, she caught us in the act one day. Cuddling that is, not canoodling in the traditional way. Chip told her he was just giving me a friendly embrace. And she seemed to buy it. Little did she know, it was one expensive hug. I charge a flat rate of five hundred dollars.”
“Wow,” I say, stunned.
“Oh, it’s a deal. I’ll go up to three hours before I double the fee. I once made two thousand dollars with a businessman from Edison.”
As soon as she mentions the name of that smarmy town, I suspect that businessman wanted to do a lot more than cuddle.
“So how’s Bobbie?” She looks as if it pained her to ask. “Any word?”
“Bobbie is doing well.” I tip my head her way. “I happened to see her myself. She’s adamant she didn’t pull the trigger. She says someone else did this to them. Any idea who that could be?”
She blows out a big breath. “I’m the easy suspect, I know. But I wasn’t angry enough to kill.” Sure, I was. “Okay, fine. I probably was, but not in the literal sense. I don’t even know how to use a gun. Besides, if the cops follow the money trail, it will lead to the exact person they should be looking at, and it’s not me.”
“What money trail?”
“Bobbie was flat broke. Chip was good at one thing, and that was making her money disappear. On second thought, he was good at two things. I can vouch for the fact he had a roving eye.”
“If the sheriff’s department follows the money and it leads to Chip… Hey, you don’t think Chip had a shady debtor come after him, do you?”
“Look, I don’t want to name names, but I think when the people running this investigation see how much the Buckinghams were in the hole, they’re going to start to wonder where they got the money to pay their bills.”
“Where did they get the money?”
“Let’s just say Bobbie’s manager not only had to play the part of mommy, she had to play the part of banker, too.” Someone calls her name from behind, and she glances that way. “I’ve got to go. It was nice meeting you. Oh, and I wouldn’t bother fighting with that man you’re married to. In fact, I’d let him have his way with just about whatever he wanted.” Especially if what he wanted was me. If Bizzy weren’t so nice, I’d drop my business card off at his table. Here’s hoping Mr. Gray Eyes and I meet again.
She takes off, and I frown because I know for a fact she and Mr. Gray Eyes are meeting again—when he detains her for questioning.
Jasper comes up. “Any luck?”
“No, but I have a feeling she’ll let you get lucky with her.”
He winces. “The only one I’m looking to get lucky with is you.”
“Take me home,” I say. “I’m going to follow her advice and let you have your way with me.”
“She sounds like a wise woman.”
I nod. “Let’s just hope her words lead straight to the killer.”
Diane Regal, you’re next on my list.
Chapter 8
There’s no better feeling in the world than to realize you and your spouse are virtual strangers—said no one ever.
The very next day a part of me actually began to wonder if Jasper and I had grown apart. Clearly, I was entertaining insanity. It’s too early for us to grow apart. Besides, we are never growing apart. Jasper and I are solid. We just have a few glitches in the getting-to-know-you department. And that’s exactly why I’ve put together a box of the Country Cottage Café’s red velvet cookies and a large pepperoni pizza, wrangled my menagerie together, and headed to the Seaview Sheriff’s Department.
The sheriff’s department is light and bright inside, mostly because the décor lacks any splashes of color. It’s all about stainless steel counters and glaring white walls, a rather sparse environment save for the deputies milling around looking intent at whatever task has been set before them.
Sugar mewls, Look at these men and women. They’ve all got guns. This is terribly exciting. Who do you think they’re going to shoot first?
Fish mewls right back, They’re not shooting anybody. They protect people for a living.
Sugar stands on her hind legs and dangles her front paws off the sides of the carrier. I have both her and Fish stuffed together as they sit strapped to my chest.
Sort of the way Sherlock Bones protects us? Sugar yowls.
That’s right. Sherlock barks. But I’m better at it. I’ve been telling Jasper for years that the force needs to beef up their canine unit. He looks up at Fish. There’s a reason there’s no feline unit.
Fish hisses his way, If there was a feline unit, there would be a lot more peace in this world.
And less mice, Sugar adds.
My feet carry me straight to the homicide department, and a frown takes over my face as soon as I spot Camila Ryder, Jasper’s ex-fiancée, seated at her desk, which just so happens to be right across from Jasper’s office.
Camila came back into our lives last year and fought hard to win him back to no avail. She and I have sort of made peace, but I’m still not willing to turn my back on her. I’m not entirely convinced she’s given up on him. But then, if I had foolishly slept with Jasper’s best friend and then desperately wanted Jasper back, I’m not so sure I would have given up either.
Her eyes flash my way. “Well, if it isn’t Bizzy Baker and the Fuzzy Bunch.” She squints over at the load of food in my hands as I land it over her desk. “You’ve brought me lunch. How generous of you. And pizza, my favorite.”
Camila is a brunette looker with perennially tan skin that glows, and a face that could easily grace magazine covers. I’m not thrilled that she’s manipulated her way into spending eight hours a day with my husband by way of playing the part of the secretary for the homicide department, but then I’m not insecure about my relationship with my husband either.
Jasper steps out of his office, and a smile instantly crests his lips.
“Hey, beautiful.” He wraps his arms around me, and both Sugar and
Fish mewl for his attention. “Hey, girls.” He gives them each a quick pat, and Sherlock barks for his attention. “Easy, boy.” He scratches Sherlock on the back. “What’s with the impromptu visit?” A sly grin slides up his face. How about we make Camila babysit our four-legged friends and I give you a tour of my office? Have I mentioned that I give naked tours?
A dull laugh rattles my chest. “You’re funny.”
“You’re funny.” Camila winks my way, and I look over to see her noshing on a cookie while opening up the pizza box. “Ooh, pepperoni. This brings back some serious memories, Jasper.” She wrinkles her nose my way. “Jasper and I were obsessed with Italian food. You probably already know it’s his favorite.”
“I didn’t, actually.” I twist my lips at my handsome husband. “Up until yesterday, I would have sworn Chinese was his favorite.” I shrug over at her. “Jasper and I played that silly couple’s game, the Perfect Match, and we didn’t exactly fare well.”
Jasper’s chest rumbles with a laugh. “I think we would have fared better with a couple of strangers at the bar.”
“Really?” Camila gasps as if it were the juiciest bit of gossip. “I knew it. I’ve long suspected the two of you have never been able to communicate.” Her brows rise with her sudden interest. “What kind of questions did they ask?”
I shake my head. “Silly stuff—and we communicate just fine.”
“Silly stuff, like what?” she asks, helping herself to a slice of our lunch.
“Like, if you won the lottery, what’s the first thing your significant other would buy?” I shrug it off.
“Electric guitar.” She moans through a bite, and my eyes widen at how easy it was for her to answer so correctly. “What?” She scowls my way. “We were going to get married. I know the man.” She winks his way. “Intimately.”
A growl comes from me. “Okay, you think you’ve got him pegged. What’s Jasper’s most annoying habit?”
“He leaves the toilet seat up on occasion. But he’ll deny it, of course.” She rolls her eyes.
“I said the same thing.” I sniff his way. Camila already nailed the favorite food bit. “What’s his favorite couple’s activity?”
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