“I would say you didn’t focus on the show.” She faked a smile.
“I’m not a man to only look. I usually get what I want,” he said confidently and stepped inside the room.
Riley laughed at his idiocy and the picture of him moaning her name alone on her bed flashed before her eyes. She laughed at her own imagination.
“Do you doubt what I’m telling you?” He turned to her and raised an eyebrow.
“You’re not getting anything until I permit you to,” she retorted and went to pour herself a cup of wine.
“You’re really full of yourself, Red. Why don’t you come and show me what good your body can do?” He started unbuttoning his chemise after carefully blazing his thousand-dollar coat on the bed.
Riley was starting to fume at his words. Who did he think he was? He didn’t know the kind of force he was messing with.
“Don’t you know good things come to those who wait?” she asked him and took a sip of her wine as she laid her bottom on the nightstand.
“Tell that to my fellow here.” He pointed at his groin.
“No money, no nothing.”
The man squinted then sighed. “Would two thousand dollars do?”
Riley laughed again. “Your coat is worth more than that.”
“How about three?” he added, getting impatient.
“Five or leave,” she bargained and took another final sip of the bloody red alcohol.
He didn’t think twice before retrieving a check paper from his coat and a blue pen. He wrote the exact amount of money Riley wanted and signed his name. The man threw the paper on the nightstand and looked back at her.
“Sold,” he said out-breathed and dashed towards her.
Chapter 2
His anticipation surprised her. He fixed her to the wall and tightly gripped her hand.
Riley immediately pulled away taken by surprise when he tried to force her into touching him.
“I do the orders here.” She gritted her teeth, held his shoulders, and pushed him to her bed.
He smiled exposing a golden tooth. Disgusting. She climbed on top of him, surrounded his hips with her legs and sat down harshly.
“Fuck!” he shouted and closed his eyes.
Poor bastard.
Riley closed her eyes and began to formulate another clone of herself inside her mind.
“Shit!” he moaned.
Slowly, she climbed off of him and backed away. Her imaginary clone was moving in slow torturous motions on top of the man, making him crave her more. She unzipped his pants and climbed off of him as well. She bent down to retrieve his pants down his legs with her teeth.
“You’re as good as I thought you’d be.”
“You disgusting piece of shit,” Riley whispered to herself.
She washed the make-up off her face and changed into her jeans and tank top. Riley slipped a key that was lying on the nightstand inside her pocket along with the check the man wrote. The moans and the begging were muffled behind the closed door.
When she walked out, she locked the door behind her. Soon enough, she would be back, but meanwhile, her imaginary clone would keep the man busy.
The arena was clear and the stage’s lights were shut. Each one of the staff was in his or her own room and no one was around to see her slip out.
Riley counted the doors to her left and right. The intensity of the red colours that evening was about to blind her. Finally, she reached a room where a white plastic sign was glued to the closed door.
Manager.
No one answered although she knocked several times. Luck was on her side that night. As expected, Rufus wasn’t inside. He must be mixing his blood with alcohol. Riley picked the small silver key from her pocket and inserted it in the knothole.
When she opened the door, a sigh of relief escaped her. The space was vacant. She didn’t waste any time in reaching for the blue jar on the floor right next to Rufus’s bag. It was heavier than the last time.
Steadily, she opened the jar, slipped the check inside and closed it tightly. Rufus used that money to fund the circus. She didn’t mind that of course because the money was supposed to be used for letting the name of the circus reach top-charts. But what about her own needs?
Riley Red contemplated the blue thing in her hands then opened it again. She took a thousand dollars out of it then closed it. That would be good enough for her grandparents to last another month.
Riley put the jar back in its place and walked immediately to the door, but someone was already there.
“What the hell is wrong with you? You can’t jump on people like that.” She stepped outside and closed the door shut behind her then locked it.
“Rufus told me everything,” Mathew answered her, folding his arms.
It hurt him to see Riley lie so boldly to his face. He thought he had gained that woman’s trust a long time ago. Perhaps it was life that turned her that way, but that only made things harder for few people were able to befriend her.
“Excuse me?” She turned around frowning in confusion. She didn’t want to believe he could know about her secret.
“I know what you are,” Mathew whispered.
Riley just stared at him with utter disbelief. Rufus promised her he wouldn’t tell her secret to a single soul.
“You’re certainly not going to talk about it here.” She grabbed his hand and started walking.
They passed by the third hallway and made their way to the garden of the premise. Once they were out of the tent, a cold breeze brushed their skin announcing Autumn’s arrival.
Riley turned around with an excessively beating heart. Mathew was not intimidated by her which was one of the reasons she liked him. But right then, she felt fire running through her veins.
“Would you mind explaining, in boring details, what the hell Rufus thought he told you? And why?”
Mathew sighed and pinched the top of his nose.
“He told me that you’re a trickster from the East.”
That was it. He knew. He knew that secret that she never shared with anyone other than that one man she thought she trusted. And she didn’t know how to feel about that. Was she sad? Probably not. Was she angry? Definitely. Was she feeling betrayed? Yes.
“What makes you so sure this is true?”
“I mean come on, Riley. Who is able to pull your stunts? Those bulls would eat you alive and we didn’t even see you escape. There isn’t some secret passage underground. It’s like you totally disappeared. What makes that believable other than an illusion?” He asked his final rhetorical question and when she looked away fuming, he knew he had gotten her.
He couldn’t believe his best friend was a trickster. She was one of those few who remained after the war. And that was something legendary. He understood the reason she wanted to keep everything a secret. If the West knew about her existence, they would either kidnap her to their side of the world and brainwash her into becoming their agent, or simply if she refused, they’d kill her.
Riley sighed in frustration. She ran her fingers through her hair and kept looking away. When she turned around towards Mathew again, he smiled genuinely.
“If you dare tell my secret to anyone, I will turn your life into a living hell.”
“Wait.” He held her hand when she was about to leave. “Riley, I promise I won’t tell a soul.”
“I don’t trust you.”
“I thought I have earned your trust when Marilyn and Flore heard the man inside your room after our last performance at Rustic Fields.”
“You only covered for me because you actually thought I slept with the man and the girls were too young to know about that.”
“Come on, Rye. I used to be a soldier. I can keep secrets. I just wish you could’ve told me earlier.”
“Look, we’re not going to bond by the fire. You know my secret now. You forget about it, or I’ll give you a nightmare every time you close your eyes.”
“But this is something huge! Don’t you think
you’re holding a big burden upon your shoulders?”
That part was true. But that was exactly why Riley hated sharing feelings. She would have to face them and relive every horrible moment again and again. Whatever Mathew would say to try to wash her with relief would not work, because she knew he was not in a position to fix anything for her. So, what was the point?
“I am. And I always will. But I’d rather carry the burden alone than know the world is after me.” She snatched her hand away from his grasp and made her way soundlessly inside the tent.
Riley closed her eyes and imagined her body going invisible. Linking that invisibility to the man inside her room, she opened the door and walked in. He was lying on his back, breathless and panting. Her naked clone ran a hand over his chest and smirked.
“I will go and put some clothes on in case someone walks in,” the clone told him and seductively walked towards the closet.
The man turned to the left and eyed her creamy skin. His eyes scanned her curves and long legs desperately needing her again.
Riley walked towards her clone, merged her body with it, and dropped the veil of invisibility. Seconds later, she was back.
The man blinked twice then smiled. “Wow, you are pretty swift.”
“Walk yourself out of my room.”
“Don't you think I can get a bit more? Give me something worth the five thousand,” he whined and held his zipper without pulling it upward.
“Get out,” she repeated and held his gaze severely.
The man sighed and rolled his eyes. He put on his clothes and didn’t look back at her, but disappeared behind the closed door.
Riley turned to the mirror and contemplated her reflection. There was a stranger staring back at her. Her tired eyes reflected a past she dared not face, even though it was a past that haunted her every time she closed her eyes. Her lips were swollen from the times she had bitten them or pressed them too hard as she faced her true identity with Mathew.
She still had the same features she had three years ago, but they were changed by the past, and that past was still plaguing her present.
She wanted things to pick up, though. Everything was happening slowly. The circus was becoming more and more famous but that was not enough. She wanted the king’s attention. She wanted access inside the kingdom.
After changing into a new outfit and applying her usual makeup, Riley walked out of the tent and was about to cross the garden outside the tent when she saw Mathew sitting by the fountain. He was holding a can of beer and drinking ever so lightly as he stared at the moon.
“Are you moping?” she asked him.
“Obviously,” he chuckled and took another gulp.
“Where is Rufus?” She immediately changed the subject. Mathew was sitting alone possibly because he didn’t need company.
“In Butter Bar,” he answered still not looking at her.
“Figured,” she huffed and turned to look at the moon herself. It was illuminating the garden and turning the colour of the leaves into a deep blue. It was beautiful.
“You look awfully hot,” Mathew remarked as he scrutinized her outfit.
“Don’t I always?” She smirked deviously. “Do you want to come?”
“I was just there.” He gulped down the rest of the beer then threw it in the garbage can next to him.
“It's never enough to drink in a bar and listen to stupid people who think they have a good voice.” She smiled attempting to make him follow her.
“You’re cruel.” He laughed at last and got up. “Fine. Let’s go.”
Butter Bar was crowded with midnight lovers. Everyone was either drinking alone or with a partner. Far in the back, facing the bar, a bald man was drinking his cup dry.
“He never changes,” said Riley when she shared a glance with Mathew.
“People never change.” Mathew looked intently at his best friend. “I’m gonna hit some lonely girl here and give you guys some privacy.”
“Play hard to get.” Riley winked at him then walked to where Rufus was sitting. “So much for the trust I have willingly granted you,” she uttered the words with some sort of doubt in them and sat down on a stool.
He glanced at her with red eyes then moved them back in front of him. “I have my reasons, Riley.”
Riley squinted. He never called her by her first name unless it was a serious matter. Rufus must have been hiding something from her because in the past week, he had been acting distant, but she did not say a word.
“Mind enlightening me?”
Rufus didn’t answer instantly. He motioned for the bartender to pour him more whiskey. With that, Riley ordered a glass as well.
“I need someone to take care of my business and lead Cirque Et Feu.” He drank the newly poured alcohol.
A feeling of unease swelled her heart.
“Are you quitting us?” she asked him fearing his answer.
“Not by choice.” He frowned with a pained expression.
That was not the Rufus she grew to know. He used to be strong and fearless and taught her to be like him, but that one, the one that was drinking his pain away in front of her, looked utterly weak.
“So, you’ve chosen Mathew to lead the circus instead of me. Am I not qualified?” she asked him disappointed.
“Matt was in the army.” He looked at her affectionately. “He knows how to handle and protect many people at the same time.”
“Well, if this isn’t hurtful,” she huffed and turned around taking another sip from the glass.
“Don't be selfish. You're a special case.” He lowered his voice. “You need to protect yourself the most. Who knows if you'll be able to handle the others at the same time? Understand my reasons.”
“How can I understand your reasons when you're keeping half of them in the shadows?” she snapped.
“I’m dying, Red.” He looked severely at her but then his gaze changed into sadness.
Riley remained silent for a good two minutes. The news did not sink in properly to allow her to process what Rufus had just said. The drink went down the wrong pipe throwing her into a coughing fit.
Rufus did not say anything else. He quietly finished his glass and kept staring ahead.
Riley motioned for the bartender to give her more drinks and within seconds, she swallowed them down letting the burn of the whiskey send a vicious warmth through her system.
“Did you see a doctor?” she finally asked him.
“I have two months. It’s in my blood, literally.” he answered her question serenely. How was he able to remain calm after knowing he had a few months to live?
Riley wasn’t capable of wrapping her head around the news. Rufus was important to her. She was his protégé, and losing him meant losing an important part of her life. She didn’t know if she was ready for that yet.
She swallowed and felt the gulp in her throat forcing her to cry, but the tears didn’t come. She didn’t even feel her eyes water and that irritated her.
“When did you find out?”
“A week ago. That's when I planned to tell Mathew why you needed extra protection, and I knew both of you are close friends so I figured he wouldn't tell.” It was like he had planned for this even before he knew about the disease.
“I don’t trust anyone.” Riley stared at the empty bottom of her cup.
“Do you hear yourself, Riley?” He snorted and shook his head. “If you keep that attitude as if you were against the world on your own, you will die alone.”
His words hurt her but she started constructing these walls around her again. She once let them fall down in front of Rufus when she exposed who she really was, but no more of this. She had had enough of letting herself be moved by anything and letting other people use that against her.
“I don’t care,” she finally said and took the entire bottle from the bartender, throwing a stash of money, some of which she had retrieved from the jar.
“Of course, you do. I see right through you and I know you need
the warmth of a family. The circus is your family now if only you'd let us in.”
She closed her eyes shut then reopened them. The room span a little, but Riley regained her balance after a few breaths.
“If you let people in, you expose your weakness. This will make it easier for them to use it against you,” she explained. A few cups of whiskey and a good one-night stand, or dance, were enough to let her forget whatever that was making her miserable.
“Not everyone is like that,” Rufus defended somehow hurt.
“I’ve seen enough of the world to believe otherwise.”
“Did I ever betray you?” He frowned and tried to search her eyes, but he found nothing.
“Why are we even talking about me? Rufus, drinking alcohol will only make it worse.” She took his cup away and put it on her far left.
Rufus sighed. It was pointless arguing with her. “It numbs the pain away. No doctor from the East can heal me. I'll have to travel to the West, and we both know that's impossible.”
Riley stared at him for quite a while. She was battling with herself if she should give him the money to do the operation in the West or not. It was true her grandparents needed that money, but Rufus was dying.
“I brought you five grand today. Use the money and go to the damn West,” she said at last.
Rufus shook his head. “They'll only extend my lifetime for like a year, and it'll only be painful. Enjoy your night, Red.” He got up and patted her shoulder. “You were buzzin’ tonight. This bar is balls-up; I think I’ll spend the rest of the night in my room.” He smiled and walked away without giving her the chance to retaliate.
Riley heaved a sigh then took the bottle of whiskey and drank more and more. The room didn’t spin, but nothing made sense. Everything looked ridiculous and not worth fighting for. There was something chewing on her heart, but she ignored it and let her eyes follow the failed attempts of her friend hitting on a girl.
Riley hopped on her feet and clicked the heels of her boots to where the two were standing.
“You’re looking sexy tonight.” She looked unfocused at Matt.
He only frowned and turned to her obviously surprised at her interference. She didn’t have enough in greeting him but allowed herself to spank him and giggle afterwards. That was a good plan. It ought to make the blonde jealous.
Red Circus Page 2