Though their parting moments were not as awkward as the lunch had been, Violet still felt a stiffness in the atmosphere.
In a moment of panic, as she watched Frank shift his weight from one foot to the other, Violet nearly blurted out for them to stay.
But she managed to snatch her composure by reminding herself that having another person in her life to care for would only distract her from her mistress, the person she’d sworn to serve and care for above all others.
“May I?” Frank stepped forward, his arms outstretched slightly. His eyes searched Violet’s, hopeful that she would accept.
Violet nodded and stepped into her brother’s arms, allowing him to wrap her in a brief hug. He hadn’t tried to be so physically close to her as he had on their first day. She appreciated his willingness to keep his distance and allow her time to come around to him. Violet couldn’t help smiling sadly against Frank’s shoulder and as he pulled away, she finally found the words she wanted to speak.
“Frank, I hope you know that I am glad we can resume contact. I apologize for taking so long to warm to the idea. I promise to write as often as I am able and I hope you will do the same. This is a good start for us. Perhaps given more time we can find a path that will carry us toward new memories,” she said with a weak smile.
Frank returned her smile, his hazel eyes softening into a sad but understanding expression. “I quite agree. I would be more than happy to write as often and as quickly as I receive your replies. I hope you will be well. Please do not hesitate to contact me if you are ever in need—of anything someone who might be a brother could assist with.”
His last sentence caused guilt to squeeze Violet’s chest. He took a few steps backwards but didn’t let his smile fall.
Captain Jessup took Frank’s place before Violet. Her breath caught in her throat as she suddenly found herself staring at his wide chest. Her eyes slowly traveled up to his face.
The captain looked down at her with such intensity that Violet felt a jolt of electricity shoot down her back. He took her small hand in his, the soft glove unable to mask the strength of his fingers. Captain Jessup leaned over her hand for a parting kiss, his lips whispering against her skin. Her heart leapt at the contact, barely there but impossible to ignore.
“It was a pleasure to meet you, Captain,” Violet mumbled, barely able to keep her eyes on his. They continued to pierce her with an expression she could not quite read.
“The pleasure was all mine, to be sure. I look forward to furthering our acquaintance someday soon.” The captain smiled his wide, charming smile and returned Violet’s hand to her side before stepping back next to Frank.
She offered well wishes and safe travels as a footman held the door open for them and then closed it just as quickly, removing them from Violet’s sight.
Violet turned her back to the door and resolved herself to return to the servants’ hall and continue mixing cosmetic solutions for her mistress. But her foot barely left the ground before the guilt in her heart froze her limbs.
Despite her insistence that she would be glad once her brother and Captain Jessup left, Violet rushed to one of the foyer’s grand windows to catch one last glimpse of them.
The drapes served as her camouflage as she watched the two men climb onto the seat of their carriage, Captain Jessup taking the reins and giving the horses a tap to spur them forward. Violet’s heart sank.
But she remained at the window, watching the carriage rumble down the driveway toward the tunnel of trees that separated the main estate to the rest of the vast grounds. She wondered what Frank and the captain spoke about, what they would do once they arrived at the village, if they would enjoy their stay with Captain Jessup’s brother.
Violet had never felt such a strong wave of regret twist through her stomach. She should have given more effort to mending her relationship with Frank. He had tried his best, yet Violet had forced herself to remain guarded and distant.
Even in the moments when she could envision a happy family bond with her brother, Violet’s memories interrupted the feeling and reminded her of all she’d suffered at the hands of her brothers and her father. When Frank laughed at something Captain Jessup said, her mind transposed the image of him jeering at her as their father and other brothers railed against her or shoved her in a cupboard for days at a time to keep her out of their sight, forcing the sympathetic servants to sneak her bits of food.
But as she watched the carriage roll away with her brother inside, Violet knew that he was not that man anymore. In truth, he had still been a boy then. Nearly a man, but still easily influenced by the father and brothers he looked up to and learned from. He’d had to go to war to understand how precious life was but he carried the lesson with him in everything he did.
And then there was the matter of the captain. Violet had to admit that part of her regret also stemmed from his departure. She had no right to feel as she did. Captain Jessup was merely her brother’s companion, along for the journey only because his friend asked for his support and encouragement.
They’d had little contact, giving her almost no reason to feel even the slight attachment she did now. But she’d sent him away, too, ending her opportunities to know him better.
But even if she did, Violet reminded herself, a captain would have nothing to do with a maid, and a maid had only to do with the family she served. It was just as well that the captain should leave with Frank. They could only be distractions from her true purpose. They could only threaten the security she’d finally found.
As if reading her thoughts, a footman called out to Violet. She turned away from the window, pushing her distress away and resuming her professional demeanor.
“Yes, Andrew?”
“Lady Neil requests your assistance in the library.”
Violet nodded and hurried away. Lady Neil needed her, and Violet would work every day of her life to pay back the great opportunity and kindness she'd found in her mistress.
A sliver of moonlight filtered through Violet’s small window, adding a cool glow against the candlelight surrounding her. Violet hunched forward to better see her stitching in the low lighting. Lady Neil had assured Violet that she need not do any such work in her chambers, especially at night when the lighting was so poor. And Mrs. Baird had scolded her for doing the same, exclaiming that her eyesight would be ruined before she reached middle age.
But Violet did not mind, especially in these last several months when her mistress’s dresses needed more frequent altering to accommodate her growing stomach. Besides, whatever work Violet could get done after hours left her with more time to attend to other duties during the day.
And on a night like tonight, when confusing and distressing thoughts swirled through her mind like yesterday’s blizzard, Violet needed something to keep herself busy.
“Ow!” Violet cried as the needle slipped and poked her finger. She stuck her finger in her mouth to soothe the tiny wound. “Perhaps it is time I put this away and got some rest,” she mumbled, sitting up straight in her chair and stretching her arms high above her.
A sudden clatter in the hallway caused Violet to jump as she folded up her mending. Her heartrate spiked at the sound of rushing feet and hurried voices, highly unusual for this late hour. A pit opened in her stomach as her thoughts flew to Lady Neil. Though the baby was not expected for some time yet, Violet knew that babies often insisted upon coming early—but the earlier the baby came the greater the risk of complications for both mother and child. Violet had been an early baby, too, and it had killed her mother.
As Violet took a step forward, poised for action, the door flung open. On the other side stood Mr. Taylor, his normally smooth gray hair sticking up every which way. His chest heaved as if he’d run all the way here, beads of sweat forming at his hairline.
“Mr. Taylor!” Violet cried in shock. She knew something serious must be happening elsewhere in the house, but she had never seen the dignified and decorous butler in such a disheveled state. The image su
rprised Violet and she knew that the situation must really be dire.
“Whatever is the matter? Is it Lady Neil?” Violet asked as the older man leaned against the doorframe to catch his breath.
“No, no. Lady Neil is fine.” Mr. Taylor waved a hand at Violet’s concerns before wiping at his forehead with a handkerchief. “You must come downstairs with me at once.”
Violet nodded hastily and asked Mr. Taylor to close the door. She slipped out of her nightgown and into a dress as quickly as she could manage and rejoined the butler.
They wasted no time, rushing down the two flights of stairs. Despite Violet’s fears, she couldn’t help being impressed at the speed with which Mr. Taylor moved. She had not expected it, especially since Mr. Taylor typically did everything with such composure. But the emergency spurred them both on.
They finally made it to the foyer. Violet came to an abrupt halt when she saw who waited there with Lord and Lady Neil.
Captain Jessup.
His eyes flew to hers as soon as she entered the room. Her blood froze as she took in his expression. She knew instantly that something terrible must have happened if the captain had returned nearly in the middle of the night with such a look of misery on his face.
But if Captain Jessup had come back...where was Frank?
“What’s happened?” Violet’s voice cracked as hundreds of dreadful scenarios flooded her mind in an instant. Her stomach churned and she felt she might be sick with worry.
Captain Jessup closed the distance between them, standing just a few feet away. He bent his head down and spoke in a low voice.
“Your brother has just been brought to the fireside in the servants’ hall. The roads were still icy from the storm, too icy for us to feel safe continuing to the village. We had actually turned back to see if we could stay one more night here and were quite nearby. Unfortunately, our carriage went over a slick patch while you brother was driving and the horse lost its footing. I managed to throw myself off in time but the lieutenant was pinned under the carriage.... I’m afraid he’s suffered a terrible break in his leg.”
Violet covered her mouth with her hand as a gasp escaped her. “Good heaven...”
A whirlwind of feelings swept through her as the captain’s words sank in. She was relieved beyond belief that Frank was alive. But the fear did not let go. A broken leg could be a fatal injury depending on the severity of the break and how quickly a doctor could get here. And the situation could have been so, so much worse.
Captain Jessup stepped even closer and took Violet’s hands in his, giving them a gentle squeeze. Normally Violet would have been shocked at the touch, but her mind still swirled with too many horrible images of the accident and the gut-wrenching fear that Frank could still be lost.
She looked up long enough to see the concern in his eyes—concern for both herself and Frank—before he let go of her hands and dashed off to the servants’ area.
Lord and Lady Neil approached Violet next. The baroness wrapped her arms around Violet and whispered soothing words in her ear. Violet returned the hug and felt a hand settle on her shoulder. She peered over her shoulder to see Mr. Taylor behind her. Lord Neil stood slightly apart from them but his gaze on Violet was soft and kind.
Their comfort brought Violet a sliver of peace and she allowed herself to absorb it for a few moments. But when she pulled back from her mistress, the lady knew exactly what Violet would ask next.
“We sent for the doctor immediately upon their arrival. I hope it will not take him long to get here, but we did tell the messenger to be careful on the roads and inform the doctor as such as well. We will ensure that your brother is cared for as best as we can in the meantime.”
“Both Captain Jessup and myself have some medical experience, so we will be tending to him until Dr. Slaterly arrives,” Mr. Taylor offered.
He straightened out his weary shoulders and nodded sharply, giving Violet his most determined expression. The butler had always prided himself on running the household impeccably and providing his assistance in any and every situation to the best of his ability. But Violet could see the concern and even fear in his eyes.
Violet nodded, anxiety rattling her bones. It would not do to have the doctor thrown from his carriage either, but Violet prayed that some miracle would speed his travels. Surely Frank must be in agony, and he risked infection with every passing moment. Tears gathered in her eyes as she imagined her brother in the servants’ area, writhing in pain, and as she imagined how close he had been to a much worse outcome.
This was Violet’s fault for sending them away. If only she hadn’t been so stubborn and had allowed herself to accept her brother. No one would have been hurt and she and Frank could be well on their way to forming a new bond. Instead, she had held on to her pain and pushed him away and now he suffered for it.
Her knees went weak and Lord and Lady Neil had to catch her elbows to keep her from falling to the ground.
“Oh dear, let’s bring her to the sitting room.” Violet heard Lady Neil whisper to her husband and the butler.
Violet allowed herself to be steered deeper into the house and onto a chair in the sitting room. She was in a daze, her mind working over the details she’d just heard and the part she had played in it.
“I did this.... This is because of me...” She mumbled to no one in particular, staring down at the intricately designed rug before her, unable to will her eyes to focus.
“Leave us. Check on Lieutenant Davies and see if there is anything that can be done for him now,” Lady Neil commanded Lord Neil and Mr. Taylor, the authority in her voice unmistakable.
Violet heard them exit the room and felt her mistress sit in the chair next to her, a groan escaping as she struggled to lower herself carefully.
Violet snapped back to attention, jumping out of her chair. “Forgive me, my lady. Are you alright?”
She gripped Lady Neil’s forearms to steady her as she slid the rest of the way down. Lady Neil waved Violet back to her chair.
“I am quite well, Violet, thank you. You need not worry about me under the present circumstances. Sit and explain what you mean, about this being because of you.”
Violet sank back down into her chair, her voice trembling as she confessed her fears.
“This is my fault. I’ve been too stubborn and guarded. I thought I was doing the right thing by protecting myself and forcing Frank away. And now look what’s happened. He’s been terribly injured, and if Dr. Slaterly is delayed then Frank could lose his leg, or worse.” Violet buried her face in her hands, hot tears breaking free.
Lady Neil leaned forward and took Violet’s hands away from her face. Violet looked miserably into the baroness’s face, too distraught to care how she looked or what her mistress might think of her working herself up into such a state.
“Shh now, dear Violet. Blizzards and icy roads are no one’s fault. I know it is easier said than done, but try not to fret about the worst-case scenarios just yet. The doctor will be here soon, I am sure of it. And Dr. Slaterly is the best in the area. He will see that Frank is properly mended. Until then, Taylor and the captain will do what they know.
“You can’t have guessed that this would happen. But perhaps...you can view this as a blessing in disguise. A second chance to give your brother a second chance. I knew you battled with the decision to send him away. Now he will likely have to remain here for some time until his leg heals enough for long distance travel. Though of course we all deeply regret his getting hurt, maybe there is a silver lining in all this. Perhaps an unspoken prayer has been answered.”
Lady Neil brushed a thumb over the back of Violet’s hand as she spoke and occasionally dabbed at her maid’s face with a handkerchief. Violet could only stare in disbelief at the lady’s incredible compassion. She knew very few lady’s maids could cry before their mistresses and receive such tender comfort.
“Thank you, my lady. You are too kind to me. I fear I have disgraced myself before you and yet you car
e for me when I should be caring for you,” Violet sniffled. “I think you must be right. Though the circumstances are grim, I have been given another chance to heal my past and welcome my brother back into my life. I must take advantage of it.” She sat up straighter and lifted her chin, nodding sharply with her newfound resolve.
“I am very happy to hear it. And I am very happy to assist you when I can. No one can expect another human being to remain composed during such an unhappy event.” Lady Neil smiled warmly, her blue eyes full of understanding and empathy.
“My lady, how did Frank and Captain Jessup make it back to the house?” Violet asked, a sudden curiosity overtaking her.
“As the captain said, they were thankfully quite close to the house when the accident happened, perhaps half a mile by the sound of it. Captain Jessup used his quick thinking and practical skills to fashion a sort of brace to keep the lieutenant’s leg as stable as possible. Then he carried him the rest of the way.”
“Thank God for the captain,” Violet whispered in awe, imagining Captain Jessup carrying her brother half a mile in the near freezing cold.
“He is quite an amazing man,” Lady Neil agreed with a chuckle.
“Please may I see my brother?” Violet asked.
“Violet, I am sure such a sight will be terribly unpleasant to witness,” Lady Neil cautioned.
“Please, my lady. I wish to be by his side for as long as I can. I’ve already wasted this past fortnight pushing him away. I do not fear what I might see,” Violet pleaded. “He is my brother. He needs me.”
Chapter 6
Curse this cold and snow and all things winter, Owen grumbled silently as he found himself once again walking around the Neils’s estate. He glared at the pair walking ahead of him as he trailed behind.
In truth, he did not need to follow along. But Owen had found himself volunteering to join his friend and Miss Davies on the lieutenant’s first outing since his injury two and a half weeks ago.
Healing the Captain's Heart: A Clean Regency Romance (Resolved In Love Book 2) Page 7