by C. G Harris
“What was that?” I felt Alex jab an arm into the dark every few seconds, making sure there were no face sucking monsters within attack distance.
“How am I supposed to know? This is your Splice Point. You know this might be a great time for your little fire trick.”
“Good idea.” The world around us faded into existence under the soft glow of Alex’s flame. I didn’t have to look to know she had manifested a small ball of fire in her upturned palm. Her Topside power was so much cooler than mine. I squinted at the sudden illumination, meager as it was. The area around us seemed vast, then something moved. I tensed, then all at once, blinding light came from everywhere, and noise, activity, and ... things came at us from every direction.
I barely had time to register my surroundings. Objects, maybe some sort of meat or flesh, hung from the ceiling, and all around us were silver autopsy tables heaped with piles of body parts and bloodied rags. Lights flashed off and on in a sort of sickening strobe light fashion, keeping things dim and disjointed, but one thing was clear. We were not alone in the room.
A monstrous looking man wearing a leather apron and some sort of gruesome stitched mask came at us from the corner with a rusty, hook-shaped blade. Something you might see on a harvester team from hell.
“Alex, I think we have a problem here.”
“I have my own problems, whatever you’re dealing with, I am happy to trade.”
I heard a chainsaw start behind me, and I wrenched my neck around to see Hook Blade’s demonic twin coming at us from the other direction, wielding a saw that had never seen a splinter of wood in its life. It was covered in gore and choked out blue grey smoke every time he revved the whining engine.
“No thanks. You can keep yours. I think something went very wrong with our jump. Are we even out of The Nine?”
“I have no idea. This has never happened to me before. Shut up and figure a way out. We can analyze later.”
The overhead lighting continued to blanket us with its flashing illumination while our hosts began to circle like jackals. Alex and I kept our backs to one another, preventing them from separating us. I kept Hook Blade in front of me while she faced down Chainsaw.
If we made it Topside, and we were in some psycho’s torture chamber, none of their weapons mattered. They could hit us with all they had, and we would just heal and go on about our merry way. At least that’s what I kept hearing. But if someone had intercepted our trip and detoured us into this fun factory in The Nine, this was a very different situation altogether. They would chop us into dog-food sized bits, and we would spend our time lamenting in the agony of the Gnashing Fields until the orchestrator decided to come pluck us out and really have some fun. The list of potential candidates for a scenario like that was getting longer by the day.
One thing was for sure, sooner or later our new friends were going to get tired of watching and decide to dance. I was never much of a Sadie Hawkins guy, so ...
I lunged forward as Hook Blade swung his weapon arm in a menacing but sloppy arc across his body. My sudden attack caught him off guard, and I managed to trap his arm against his chest and land a wicked head butt to the bridge of the big man’s nose. He staggered back, and I followed my attack with a Pelé kick to his nether regions. Hook Blade went from monster to a quivering pile of jelly in three seconds flat. He dropped his blade and slithered off along the floor, one hand up to ward off any further attacks.
He screamed something in my direction. I didn’t have time to listen as I picked up his blade and circled around for Chainsaw. He was already backpedaling, so I pressed my advantage. I went at him with everything I had, letting out a primal scream. Chainsaw lifted his weapon crosswise above his head in a defensive maneuver, but I didn’t go for the haymaker. I feigned high, then slashed low at his guts. Payback for all the people this sick bastard had laying on his tables. I slashed hard, following through with the strike, but instead of feeling the blade tear into his monster belly, it bent back and broke off in my hand.
“Ouch, dude. What the heck is wrong with you, man? Are you some kind of psycho or something?”
Chainsaw’s chainsaw coughed to a halt, and he pulled off his mask to reveal a kid in his late teens with long, blond hair. The indignant expression on his face was mixed with fear and more than a little confusion. “This is supposed to be a dress rehearsal. Guests in the haunted house are not allowed to touch the actors. Look at what you did to Chad.”
My eyes went back to Hook Blade, aka Chad. He had managed to pull himself up to a seated position with one hand on his crotch and the other outstretched to give me the finger.
“Somebody call the manager. This is total crap. We need to fire this amateur.”
A snicker called my attention to the opposite corner of the room. Alex stood next to an open door wearing a smile big enough to pass as the Joker’s. She motioned toward our escape, and I eyed at the two young men I had just accosted for no reason.
“This has all been a terrible misunderstanding. You are fantastic.” I edged toward Alex as I held out my hands by way of apology. “If it makes you feel any better, I believed every second of your act. I really thought you were psycho murderers.”
I shrugged and offered them a crooked smile. They glanced at each other and shook their heads. “Beat it, man. Violence has no place in a professional haunt. You’re banned for life.”
Alex snickered again.
“Got it. Banned for life,” I said. “You have my word I’ll never be back here as long as I live.”
Chapter Thirty-Five
“When did you know?” I sped up to match Alex’s pace on the street. She wasted no time retreating from the warehouse turned Halloween hotspot.
“Pretty much as soon as the lights came on.”
“What?” I buried my hands in my hair. “Why didn’t you stop me?”
Alex let out a laugh. “You were doing such a great job saving me, I didn’t want to burst your bubble.”
More laughter. Alex worked herself up into a down-home snort-fest.
“I kicked that guy in the balls, you know.”
That did it. Alex let out a howl and could not stop the avalanche of laughter.
The sound was infectious. I couldn’t help but chuckle a little myself. “Stop. I could have killed one of them. What then?”
“What were you going to do, stab them with the plastic sword or hack them to pieces with the fake chainsaw?”
More laughter and this time she used the briefcase she carried as a makeshift weapon to mimic my attempt to disembowel the saw-wielding thespian.
“I’m beginning to feel a little under appreciated.”
“I appreciate you.” Alex tried to control her cackles. “And I’ll bet Chad is appreciating a bag of ice in his lap about now too.”
I blinked, then sputtered out a laugh of my own.
“You still could have stopped me.”
“Next time we’re in a haunted house, and you decide to murder everyone inside, I promise I will stop you ... eventually.”
“Thanks a lot.”
We made our turn on the next block, and I remembered the Voodoo shop we had run into down the alley the last time we were here. I could see Alex remembered it too. She shot a sideways glance down the shadowy corridor between the buildings as we passed.
“So, you said Voodoo is all about messing around with your soul and spirits, stuff like that right?”
Alex kept walking, picking up a little speed, so I couldn’t see her face.
“I am just trying to pass the time. You don’t have to answer if you’re scared.”
Alex turned a narrow-eyed glare back in my direction. I knew that would crack her shell.
“Yes, Voodoo is about soul and spirit magic. That’s why it’s dangerous, and I don’t mess with it.”
“So does that mean Demon possessions and stuff like that are a real thing? Can some Hellion from The Nine use Voodoo to take up residence in a body up here?”
Alex sighed
. “Demonic possession is definitely a thing. Demons can do it, and wacked out idiots who think it would be cool can even call a demon in. But it almost never happens. Not a legitimate demon possession anyway. They are messy, and the human side always looks like they’ve been left out in the desert sun for a few years with no food or water. They’re not hard to spot, and priests have known how to banish them for centuries.”
We walked along for a few more minutes. I was about to ask what about the Voodoo thing in particular freaked her out so bad when she interrupted me by carrying on the conversation herself.
“Now Woebegone possession, that’s the real deal. No mess, hard to detect, and it sticks in this world like soul superglue.”
I almost tripped over my own feet. “Wait, what do you mean Woebegone possession? What’s the difference?”
Alex turned back to look at me. “Well, duh. One is a Hellion, and the other is a Woebegone. Two different souls from down under.”
She seemed to sense my sudden unease and slowed up so I could catch up to her.
“I imagine it has something to do with compatibility. A Woebegone used to be a human after all. A Hellion was most definitely not. Why are you so worried about this all of a sudden?”
“I’m not. Just making conversation.”
That was half true. I had been making conversation in the beginning, but her epiphany about a Woebegone possession got me thinking. What if the Catastropher wasn’t here. Not yet anyway. The sudden appearance of the lost Judas agent my cousins had somehow retrieved seemed like too much of a coincidence to ignore. What if The Council of Seven planned to replace the soul of someone up here with the rogue agent? What if the assassination attempt wasn’t meant for Nick at all but rather Ian or Ryan to ensure Nick had full control of the company before their new man possessed his body? My head spun with the implications.
Alex eyed me with suspicion. “I know that look, and it’s not casual conversation. Something is spinning around in that rocky melon of yours. Whatever it is, I don’t want to know.”
“I was just curious, really. How does the whole Woebegone possession thing work? Does Houdini saw them in half or something?”
“Houdini was an escape artist, genius, and no, Woebegone possession is even more rare than Hellion possession. It requires a coordinated ritual between Topside agents and The Nine and gives a Woebegone a whole new life free of the underworld. I don’t care who you are, Big Red is never, and I mean ever, giving up a soul Topside without a very good reason.”
Like freeing a shiny new Catastropher on the world, I thought.
“Sounds like a long shot.” I sped up my pace to hurry us along.
“Whoa, what’s your rush?” Alex made a little hop skip to catch up to me and match my pace.
“Just anxious to get our job done, that’s all. We don’t want to keep Nick waiting.”
I shot her a smile that felt about as convincing as a two-dollar diamond ring.
“Right.” Alex nodded. “Just do me a favor. Don’t kick him in the balls as soon as we get there, okay?”
Chapter Thirty-Six
“Right on time.” Nick welcomed us into his office and ushered Alex and me over to the chairs opposite his desk. “I’ve been looking forward to getting my hands on these results.”
“Results?” I glanced over at the locked briefcase Alex brought with us from the Judas Agency.
Nick nodded. “I won’t go into detail, due to corporate security, but your firm has been instrumental in providing some very important field testing for us. I can’t tell you how much we appreciate your help. I am not exaggerating when I say we couldn’t have done this without your firm’s help.”
Alex nodded and handed over the case. “It’s an honor to be a part of something so important.”
My eyes followed the exchange, and my mind went into overdrive. I had to find out what was in the case.
I watched in anticipation as Nick worked the lock without hesitating and clicked open the latch to reveal the contents. The thing had enough paper to house the yellow pages in loose leaf form. Nick flipped through the papers for a moment then he smiled and glanced up at me. “You are sneaky.”
“What?” I looked at Alex, and she shrugged.
He pulled out a wide, flat box, and I realized what he meant. Someone had added the obligatory gift for Ryan with the package of paperwork. With everything going on, I had forgotten all about bringing something myself.
“This really isn’t necessary.” Nick smiled and handed the box over to me. “You can give it to Ryan when we are finished here.”
“It’s the least we can do.” Alex smiled and never gave the box a second glance, but I was dying to know what the package contained. It could be anything. Given the resources of the Judas Agency, they could afford to come up with the most impressive gifts imaginable. That’s what we were all about, right? Temptation and all that. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to open the box right there. I just needed an excuse.
“Maybe you should take a peek first. To be sure we made an appropriate choice.”
Nick looked up from the papers and nodded. “Ok. Go ahead. Open it”
My grin betrayed my sudden excitement as I pulled off the top. My eyes went down to the object inside, expecting to see any number of fantastic items: an ancient artifact, scrolls of parchment, a golden calf. It was none of those things. Instead, the box held a sort of dream catcher. Not the round woven works of art you sometimes saw in gift shops. This one was shaped like a triangle, framed with rough cut twigs, and woven with old twine. It had a few feathers hanging from the bottom, along with an old skeleton key, and in the center hung an onyx stone that seemed to drink light from the room. If this thing was supposed to capture nightmares, it was full.
“I’ve never seen one of those with turkey feathers before,” Nick said. “But it is just Ryan’s style. He’ll love it.”
The words turkey feathers almost made me drop the box altogether. I didn’t fear turkeys. I just didn’t like them. Sort of like spiders or radiation infused scorpions with acid spraying stingers. They were all equally nefarious.
I set the box down on Nick’s desk and backed away from it as if the twine tangled monstrosity might jump out and grab me. I didn’t need to look at Alex to know she grinned from ear to ear. I’ll bet the turkey feathers were even her idea.
“I know you said the research results are top secret,” I said, trying to shift attention away from the box. “But is there any chance I could glance at them?”
Alex lost her grin and snapped her head around to me, raising an eyebrow in question.
I pretended not to notice. “I mean, we always courier these sorts of documents to people and never see what’s inside. None of it would mean anything to me. I’m just curious what they look like.”
And whether or not they have some sort of instructions for performing a ritual printed all over the pages. If we were delivering a way for him to perform the Woebegone possession ritual, it would answer a lot of questions. He may think he’s dabbling in the dark arts for good fortune and success, having no idea what the real results of his actions will be.
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea. These are sensitive documents.” Nick pulled the briefcase toward him, protecting the contents within his arms. “I’m the only one to see the net results contained in these files.”
Even more reason to take a peek. Why wouldn’t he allow his company geniuses to look over the paperwork. Why would he keep the results to himself if there weren’t more to it?
“Come on.” I put a hand on the case before he pulled it out of my reach. “I just want a quick peek.”
Alex stood up behind me and grabbed my arm. “Gabe.” Her voice had that murdery tone that said she was about to pop my shoulder out of it socket. “Nick seems intent on keeping his documents private. We should respect that.”
I let my eyes flick over to hers. If Alex could light me on fire with her glare, I would have burst into flame on th
e spot. It would do me good to remember she had the ability do something pretty close if she really wanted to. I looked back to Nick and nodded.
“Of course. I didn’t mean to pry.”
I straightened and let go. Nick relaxed, and Alex backed off. As I stepped back, I drug my hand across the desk, and I hooked my hand in the handle of the briefcase and jerked. The single action had catastrophic results. I had hoped to dislodge a few pages. Something to peek at before Nick tucked everything back into place. Instead, Nick had just enough hold on the briefcase to give it some serious tension. When I pulled, his fingers slipped, and the case slingshotted forward, launching its entire contents into the air.
The Judas Agency must not believe in staples because not a single sheet was bound together. They sailed everywhere, summersaulting and fluttering to the floor like leaves in a fall windstorm.
Nick ran around to the front of his desk and began to gather the paperwork, clutching the pages to his chest. Alex and I crouched to the floor and began to gather them as well, although Alex seemed more concerned with gathering than inspecting. I, on the other hand, wasn’t about to let this debacle go unharvested. I scanned as many sheets as possible, letting my eyes play along everything on the floor. There were graphs, tables, long notes about boring statistics, and test results but no evil Voodoo chants or Hellion rituals for Woebegone possession, unless Nick had devised an ingenious secret code only super-nerds understood.
When Nick realized Alex and I had sections of his precious paperwork in our hands, he surged forward and yanked them away from us. Right or wrong, snatching anything away from Alex was like teasing a crocodile with a live chicken. One wrong move, and you were liable to lose an arm.
Alex bared her teeth, and for half a second, I thought I might have to throw myself between them, but she remembered herself and regained her poise, standing without trying to pick up anything else.