‘Did you just boo me?’
‘No, no. That wasn’t me,’ she assured him.
‘Then who was it? Have you got someone else there? Am I on speaker?’
‘Stop before you get your knickers in an even bigger knot,’ she warned him. ‘It’s just the T.V.’
‘Booing at me?’
‘No. Booing at the judge.’
‘At the judge? What are you watching?’
‘Just some…a little…Okay, fine. It’s X-Factor.’
‘Seriously?’ she could hear the incredulity in his voice, and her face flushed in embarrassment even though she knew he couldn’t see her. There was no other course but to tough this one out.
‘It’s my guilty pleasure, okay? And these people are seriously talented.’
‘Maybe. Some of them,’ he conceded grudgingly. ‘But those judges are a piece of work.’
‘How would you know if you don’t watch it?’ she taunted, smiling despite herself.
‘I’ve seen the shorts.’
‘The shorts show nothing. You should watch it sometime. You’re really missing out.’
‘Really?’
‘Totally. Like now, for instance, there’s a single mum here, about to go on. She didn’t finish school; she’s been working two jobs to pay the bills, struggling to keep her child in school. Ooh, I just know she’s going to be good, and the judges are going to love her.’
‘Okay fine, you win. I’ll watch it,’ he said, and she could hear the rustle of movement and then the zing of a television being switched on.
‘What? Now?’ she asked, ridiculously pleased with the notion.
‘Yeah. Just, you know, so I can point out the errors of your ways and all,’ he said, and she couldn’t help but laugh.
‘You’ll see. You’ll be an addict by the end of this.’
‘Maybe,’ he answered, his tone more serious than their banter had been. The hollow pit in the base of her stomach, the one she’d never known about till he’d come into her life, started to fill again.
They watched the show until it finished, and then, not wanting to let go, she talked him into trying another show, one of the crime dramas that seemed to clog the television stations viewing platforms these days. They’d just witnessed a brutal murder when she heard faint beeps on the line.
She pulled the phone away to check for incoming calls, but there were none. ‘I think that’s you,’ she said, placing her phone against her ear.
‘Yeah, it is,’ he said a moment later. ‘Do you mind hanging on for a few minutes? It’s Sean. We’re pretty quick at this time of night.’
‘Sure,’ she said, and a light melody started playing in her ear. She switched the phone to speaker, laid it on the table in front of her and concentrated on the show. A few minutes later the music switched back to Travis.
‘Hey, are you still there?’
‘I’m here. Did you say goodnight?’
‘Yeah. We do every night.’
Kelli could hear his pleasure, and his pride in his son, and found herself smiling as well.
‘See, you don’t have to miss a thing.’
‘So I take these pills, and then no more falling asleep at work?’ Brianna asked, holding up the script and authorising paperwork Kelli had just handed her.
‘That’s the plan,’ Kelli nodded at her patient the following morning, unable to stop herself from smiling. She’d been up half the night on the phone with Travis, and her eyes felt like they were falling out of their sockets. Somehow, though, her exhaustion didn’t feel nearly as bad as usual. Maybe that’s what happened when there was a good reason for it.
‘It’s important you keep quiet about the medication,’ she continued giving the patient her instructions, somehow managing to contain her personal joy to inject the necessary level of seriousness into the discussion. ‘It’s a stimulant which is illegal to possess without a prescription. There are some people who will go to great lengths to obtain them. It would be best to tell as few people as possible and, at least to start with, to primarily use the one pharmacy for the prescription.’
‘Don’t worry, I understand. I’m not to let any junkies know I’ve got it. Can do. How quickly will it work?’
‘It should kick in within an hour or so of taking the first dose; however it will only remain effective if you continue on the medication as prescribed. The effects will wear off without continual treatment.’
‘That’s awesome!’
Kelli grinned at the young woman’s excitement, pleased to have finally been able to give her some good news, and set about completing her notes in Brianna’s file.
‘This means I can drive the crew out to Oakey for the rodeo and Kent can drink. He’ll be stoked! It seems such a waste, since I can’t drink because of my condition, to have to make someone else miss out on the fun too.’
Kelli’s smile faltered at her patient’s words, and she paused in her note writing to look up at the young woman. ‘Sorry, Brianna, but that’s not such a good idea.’ She hated seeing the crestfallen look on the woman’s face, but this was non-negotiable. ‘You’re still not going to be able to drive long distances,’ she informed her.
‘Why not?’
‘As much we hope the medication will work, we won’t know for sure the dosage is completely correct until we do an MWT. I’d like to schedule that in for a month’s time—’
‘Wait, what’s an MWT?’
‘It’s another daytime test, but instead of having set periods to nap in, you have to try and stay awake in a darkened room for forty minute intervals. In a way, it simulates what it would be like for you to be driving long distances at night time. It’s a way for us to check that the medication is actually keeping you awake. Unfortunately, until I see this proof, your driving restrictions will have to remain in place: only short distances, and only during daylight.’
‘Awe, that’s so not fair. Why can’t I do the test this week?’ Brianna turned pleading eyes Kelli’s way, and she wished she could give the girl what she wanted. But that would be negligent, and would put a huge number of lives on the road at risk. She had to stay firm.
‘We need to give your body time to adjust to the medication. I have no doubt you will feel an immediate improvement in your daytime sleepiness symptoms-’
‘But if I can tell the meds are working, why can’t I drive?’
‘The cessation of subjective symptoms does not necessarily equate to a complete cessation of your micro sleeps. And neither does it mean your body won’t acclimatise to the medication, nullifying the effect. This is why we have to wait a month.’
Kelli could tell by the mulish set of the young woman’s lips she wasn’t impressed, so she tried a different tack.
‘I know this is hard, Brianna, and I know sometimes it can seem unfair that this is happening to you. But you will get through it. We’re more than half-way there now.’
‘Yeah, I know,’ the patient sighed.
‘There are support groups for people with narcolepsy, both online and face-to-face. Sometimes it helps to feel like you’re not the only person going through this.’
Kelli held out the pamphlet with details of several support groups for Brianna to take, ignoring the fact that it made her a hypocrite. Her mother had given her a number of similar pamphlets on grief counsellors and support groups, all of which she’d just as quickly disposed of.
But this was different, Kelli assured herself. Brianna was the victim here; she’d in no way contributed to her illness. Kelli could not say the same about her grief.
Pushing thoughts of herself aside, she plastered a smile on her face for the patient.
‘Okay, I’ll see you in a month’s time following the MWT, and hopefully we’ll get some good results.’
‘Yeah, hopefully,’ Brianna agreed, though she didn’t sound that positive as she packed up her belongings.
‘And if you are having any issues or side effects with the medication, please come back before then.’
&n
bsp; ‘Yeah, I will,’ Brianna agreed, moseying out the door.
Kelli watched her leave before picking up the Dictaphone to compose the letter to her G.P., disappointed that the appointment hadn’t ended more positively. They had made real progress—she’d diagnosed and begun treatment for Brianna within four weeks of her initial consultation—but it still didn’t feel like she’d done enough.
‘Hey,’ the soft-voiced greeting came as she clicked the Dictaphone off.
Tiny butterflies started fluttering in her stomach as she glanced towards the door. Looking as dashing as ever, Travis was holding two take-away cardboard cups.
‘I brought coffee,’ he said, holding one up in her direction.
‘Awesome,’ she returned his smile. Was it her imagination, or was there extra warmth to his eyes today?
‘I figured you might need some,’ he said as he slipped in, leaving the door open and taking a seat in the patient chair on the other side of the desk.
‘Definitely. Someone kept me up half the night talking,’ she teased as she reached for the cup.
‘How inconsiderate,’ he responded, smirking above his coffee cup.
‘I know, right? It’s not exactly a good look to be yawning whilst telling a patient how to improve their sleep hygiene.’
‘No. Definitely not. It might be a four-coffee day today.’
‘Oh dear, just the thought of that makes me want to curl up on that “bed”,’ Kelli indicated the hard, thin examination table-cum-bed behind her, ‘and sleep through the next round of consults.’
Travis’ eyes flicked back and forth between her and the exam-bed. ‘You might be onto something there,’ he said with a wink.
Tingles ran through Kelli, the saucy twinkle in Travis’ eyes making it clear sleep would not be part of his agenda on that bed. Kelli shifted in her seat, trying to relieve the sudden onset of desire that had her dying to give his suggestion a test run.
‘Morning, Kelli.’
Kelli tore her gaze from the Travis’ desire-laden one to see Zahra, one of the respiratory technicians, walking in without knocking.
‘I’ve just finished Mr Cainon’s PFT and thought you might want to review it,’ the woman paused, her eyes darting between Kelli and Travis, her mouth forming a round “O” of surprise at his presence. ‘Sorry, I didn’t realise you were busy. I can come back later,’ she offered, throwing a thumb over the shoulder to indicate her readiness to leave.
‘No, you stay. I was just going,’ Travis said, a light flush staining his cheeks pink. He rose from the seat and moved towards the door in an instant. Kelli might have been offended at the speed, if she wasn’t already aware of his aversion to becoming the subject of hospital gossip.
‘I didn’t realise Travis was dating again,’ Zahra said once Travis had disappeared from sight. ‘You lucky girl.’
‘He-I-we’re just friends,’ Kelli rushed to assure her. The last thing she needed was for rumours to start before their relationship got off the ground. It was the surest way to send Travis running – and not just from the room, but from her for good.
‘Mmm-hmm. Sure,’ Zahra mocked as she leant across Kelli to open up the computer program.
‘We are,’ she insisted, but it was clear from the gleam in Zahra’s eyes that her efforts were in vain.
‘Whatever you want to believe; I’m just saying he’s not bringing coffee in for everyone.’
Kelli waited all week for the inevitable rumours to start flying around the hospital. By Friday, though, she’d heard no peep of them, and neither had Travis. Zahra must have kept her lips sealed, thankfully. To say she was surprised was an understatement.
Travis had steered away from personal visits to her office after that, but he’d still phoned her every night, and just the friendly glimpses of him around the ward and consulting suite gave Kelli an added buzz as she worked. It even made her more heartrending patient consults, like this one, more bearable.
‘The wound is healing nicely, and your chest sounds clear,’ Kelli told her patient, as she removed the stethoscope from her ears and left it hanging around her neck.
‘That’s good,’ the older man answered, though there was something in his eyes that didn’t quite sit right with Kelli. At only sixty-four, he looked much older, his recent lung cancer diagnosis having aged him well beyond his years. Kelli kept a watchful eye on him as she jotted down her notes in his chart. They’d performed surgery on him only yesterday to remove the tumour and she wanted to ensure he had a speedy recovery.
The man shuffled around in the bed, wincing as he repositioned himself into a comfortable position.
‘It is good. Very good,’ Kelli confirmed, hanging the chart by the end of his bed. ‘We’ll do further tests tomorrow to confirm it, but I believe we got it all. Now, how bad is your pain?’ she probed.
‘Well,’ the man shuffled again, wincing, ‘It’s not too bad.’
‘How would you rate it: none, mild, moderate, or severe?’
‘Mild,’ the man answered quickly, but Kelli seriously doubted the truth of it.
‘Okay, can you take a deep breath for me? All the way in and out.’
As Kelli watched, the patient inhaled to half his capacity before the pain became too much and he had to let the air go. She waited until she could see the pain recede before speaking.
‘The physiotherapist who will be coming to visit you in the next hour will be asking you to do much more than that. Your overall recovery is reliant on you being able to perform these exercises, and they will be much more effective if you can do them pain free. So, I’ll ask you again, how would you rate your pain?’
The man held her gaze, and Kelli thought for a moment he was going to stick to his guns and deny any pain, but something shifted in his mind.
‘Moderate.’
‘And while you’re breathing in?’ Kelli asked eyebrow arched.
‘Severe, but it’s only for a second and then—’
‘But that’s the pain we need to control, Marcus. I understand your hesitancy, they are very strong drugs you’re on, but you need to be able to complete the exercises. I’m going to give you an extra dose now, so you can get through the physio session, but we’ll leave the afternoon dose as is, and I’ll pop back in after lunch to see how you are faring.’
‘Thanks, Doc.’
‘And this afternoon I want the truth.’
‘Yeah, okay,’ he answered with a resigned sigh.
Kelli allowed herself a small smile at the victory as she documented the change, before leaving the patient to his own devices and headed to the nurses’ station to finish off her orders.
‘Hi Anita, I need you to give Marcus Hewson an additional five milligrams of morphine. Just once at this stage, to get him through the physio session and then I’ll come back and reassess his pain level this afternoon.’
‘Ah, one of those patients, is it?’
Kelli’s eyes flicked automatically towards Travis as he arrived at the nurse’s station and reached for his own patient charts. The fresh, heady scent of his aftershave washed over her, and she tried not to be too obvious as she savoured the smell.
How could her heart still race when he was around? After a week of flirty-friendly banter, and plenty of late-night phone calls, she’d have thought she’d be used to him by now.
But if anything, it was the opposite. His effect on her was more pronounced today than it had been that first day at the beach.
‘It’s not that he’s difficult. He’s a lovely man. But it’s as if he’s trying to hide from his pain. I don’t understand it.’
‘Seriously?’ Travis paused in his perusal of his own charts to pierce her with his gaze.
‘What?’
‘You don’t understand someone wanting to hide their pain?’
‘Why should I?’ But even as she said the words, she realised what he meant. ‘But this is different. He’s just been through surgery. He’s allowed to be in pain.’
Travis leaned in close
, lowering his voice so only she would hear. ‘So are you.’
‘But this is a physical pain. It—’
‘That doesn’t make yours any less real.’
Kelli’s breath hitched, the pain, the memories pushing towards the surface, as though his words had invited them in. But she didn’t want to do this. She couldn’t deal with it. Not now, not here at work.
She slammed the gate shut on the pain, her eyes flashing fire at him. ‘I’m not talking about this. I can’t. Not here.’ She hated the pleading note creeping into her voice, but she’d have thought he’d understand. He knew she didn’t talk about it. Not once since that first chat had he tried to broach the topic; why did he have to pick now?
He looked at her a moment longer and she thought he was going to push the issue, but finally he relented. ‘All right, I’ll drop it,’ he said as he held his hands up, an easy smile stretching across his face, but the humour didn’t quite reach the depths of his eyes. There was so much concern in them for her she instantly regretted snapping at him. ‘I shouldn’t have brought it up.’
‘No. You shouldn’t have,’ but the anger had drained from her now; all that was left was the gaping hole where Jimmy used to be. Kelli closed the file she was working on, and spun away from him, hurrying towards the lifts before the tears started falling.
‘Kelli, wait,’ he called out, chasing after her, finally catching her when she’d reached the lifts.
‘What?’ she asked, her voice hitching with pain. She brushed past him to depress the call button, needing to get out of there so she could pull herself together.
‘I… ah…’ he flicked his eyes to hers, before returning them to the ground. ‘I’ve been meaning to ask you something.’
Kelli waited for him to continue, and when he didn’t she prompted him abruptly. ‘What is it?’
‘Ah…’ His eyes flicked up to hers again, but only briefly before focusing on what must be a really interesting part of the carpet. ‘It’s nothing. Forget it…You’re probably busy.’
A Heart Worth Mending Page 10