He continues, “I see now that forcing people to do things against their will, even for 'the greater good,' is a slippery slope at best, and at worst, it’s an absolutely horrid and evil thing to do to someone. I can't stop the Wraiths any more than I could the Shades, but that’s not what’s important. Not to me, at least.”
In a daze still, I’m trying to make sense of what he’s saying. What does that have to do with me and him? Was he trying to make me like him more or something? But then at the end, I see my opportunity to get him talking about what I most want to hear from him. Time to get back to the question that has been burning out my insides and turning me hollow. “That’s great, Talon. I’m glad to hear you’re at least asking questions about the Wraith-Shade war. But, you said that’s not what’s really important. Tell me, what is? What do you think is important?”
“Mirela, I’ve fallen for you, and I need you in my life. I can’t bear not to tell you. I think that’s why I really followed you. And now that I’ve admitted it, I’ll follow you anywhere, if you’ll let me... even if it’s back to the front seat of the SUV, where this all started."
A tiny voice inside my head whispers that this is a truly terrible idea. He could be only saying these things so I'll come back to Mortals Landing, back to being the Wraiths' pawn again. Maybe he only told me he loves me because Birka ordered him to, and that whole thing about him not following her orders anymore might just be a ruse to deflect me from that line of thought. That would make it important, I realize even through my jumbled, rushing thoughts.
I have to find out the truth.
"Talon, I'm still torn. I confess it, yes, I think I love you. I didn't want to, because of Luka, but he's gone and he's never coming back. Moving on isn’t some kind of betrayal. You are here, and every time I'm around you, I feel happy and frightened and guilty... but mostly, excited. Did you know, the mornings are the times I most look forward to?”
While I talk, Talon’s earnest expression softens into a growing smile, but abruptly, he cocks his head and raises one eyebrow, eyes narrowing slightly, like he’s confused and curious.
“The mornings? Why then?” he asks, confirming it.
“Because that’s when you show up. Sometimes with pretty clothes, and always with more witty comments than I can come back to while I'm so groggy, but no matter what you do or don’t bring, it’s the time I most look forward to. Or, looked forward to. Past tense."
"Be honest, Ela. You still feel it, don’t you? You feel what I do, I know you do.” I've never heard him sound more imploring than at that moment. If this is an act, he’s a way better actor than he ever led me to believe through his actions in the past.
I believe him, then. He's not torturing me at Birka's command, or out of spite or boredom. My spirit soars and my heart skips a beat as I reel from the thoughts racing around in my head. He loves me! He wants me, just like I’ve wanted him, and I never have to worry about whether he'd put Birka's commands ahead of me. I’d never do that, because I know it'd hurt him deeply. But just knowing it is even better than making him prove it, because I don’t want to put him in that position. I know how badly putting others’ wants ahead of my own needs hurts.
Pain isn't what I want him to feel. I want him to feel the same thrill I do, the same tumultuous stomach and the same speeding heartbeat—and I want him to feel it right now, right here. I step up to stand right in front of him, raising my chin a little to look into his eyes, and bite my lip for a moment while I gather the courage to reach out and—
Talon grabs me with both arms before I can gather enough courage to do the same, and he draws me to him. He’s squeezing me like he won't ever let go, hard enough to make my ribs ache, and I don't care. I'm high on this feeling, this waiting, and this expectation of what comes next. I desperately want to reach up and grab his hair and pull him to me. I want to feel his tongue and mine dancing together. I want to feel the skin of his back under my fingertips while I desperately try to pull him closer than anything I’ve ever experienced before.
But, I force myself to wait. The seconds draw out to forever as he looks into my eyes with a hunger I crave to satisfy, and that waiting ignites something in me. When he leans in and his lips touch mine, I have never felt such excitement before, not even that night in the car when I was so desperate for him.
This isn't desperation, it's something else. A hunger, a need. No, a craving.
I feel more than kisses from him as his expert hands burn my bare skin where he touches me. I don’t know what he’s doing, but he’s everywhere at once, all over my body, and each touch raises goosebumps and sends shocks running through me.
My hands explore territory that is, however, utterly new to me. I don’t know where I should touch him, but I don’t care. I grip his arm, biting it, then his neck. When I bite into his chest, playfully as a cat toying with its prey, he shudders, and I imagine the shock going through him as it is with me, too. It’s intoxicating.
But, I want to give him more of that. No, more of everything, everything I have to give. When the buttons on my pants come undone, seemingly on their own, I grow frantic. My shirt comes up over my head, then it’s gone, and a gentle breeze through the otherwise still forest teases the bare skin, raising goosebumps that stream from my shoulders down to a gnawing, unfamiliar pit in the very base of my stomach, my core.
It's a sensation utterly new, and yet not at all strange. I know exactly what it is. Electricity passes between us, a lightning bolt that fries my brain stupid. When he flings me onto my back, I feel his weight on top of me, but it’s not enough. I claw at him, paw him, bite into him. Blind with hunger, ravenous, I draw his scent in. The luscious smell burns into my mind like a dream, half-remembered and yet never to be forgotten.
Chapter Eight
I don't know how long we kissed, and explored, and enjoyed one another. It was a delicious forever, and an instant that was far too short.
In that heady, hazy afterglow of two people becoming closer than I ever knew was possible, he has filled a deep void in my soul, a gaping wound in my heart that I never knew existed—not until now, by its absence. I feel complete as never before, and Talon was the one to give me that gift. I’ll never forget this moment.
As my breathing finally slows back down, my sweat evaporates, cooling me down again as we stretch out together on a soft patch of grass on the forest floor. The hunger I felt earlier is gone, replaced by a delicious ache in my lower belly. Lower still is an ache that was an intense yet welcome pain half an hour ago.
A fuzzy, warm feeling settles all over me, and I think it must surely be better than any drug.
I rest my head on his chest, my leg draped over his while my free hand traces lines over his chest and stomach, feeling his muscles and their occasional twitch when my fingers dance over a random ticklish spot.
He laughs, and I laugh, too. I can't stop grinning like an idiot. When I mention it, we laugh together. I look up into his eyes again and find that he, too, is an idiot. Why can't he stop smiling? Why can't I? It doesn't matter. I hope to feel like an idiot forever. Or, at least, to feel like one again someday very soon.
I kiss his chest, and his arm under my shoulders squeezes me to him tighter. His embrace is intimate, not at all rough, despite the sword calluses on his hands, his many scars, and his hard, firm muscles born of a life spent training hard.
He kisses my forehead. It sends goosebumps all the way down my body, but these aren't normal goosebumps. They send tingles shooting through me, reminding me of the sensations from before we collapsed onto the grass.
I want the moment in the forest to last forever. I know it can’t, but for the first time in a long time, all is right with the world.
* * *
I finish lacing up my shoes after several fumbled attempts because my eyes are glued to Talon, who’s walking around looking for one missing sock and his shirt. I’m still smiling, but so what? I might feel silly, but in truth, I can't help seeing Talon in an entirely new
light. He's different somehow, or maybe I'm the one who's different. Maybe both? I wonder if he feels what I’m feeling, but I'm too afraid to ask, even with the effects from the fantastical tree. I take some reassurance from the fact that he’s still smiling, too.
"How are you feeling?" he asks when I finish lacing my shoes and stand straight again.
He's found his sock, I see. I try not to keep smiling at him so much, but I'm not sure that's possible. Everything is just so… good. Life, the universe, and everything.
"A little bit sore."
"Sorry about that," he says, his eyes crinkling up with mirth.
"Not that, stupid. Don’t get your ego in a bunch. I think I was lying on a rock, or maybe a root."
"Oh." He sticks out his bottom lip, pouting dramatically, and it makes me laugh yet again. "You know, this wasn't my intention when I came out here."
"It wasn't?" It's my turn to pretend-pout.
"Ha! No, it wasn't. 'Hoped,' maybe, but not my intention."
He finishes tying his shoes, and we stand there, staring at one another. I wonder what we're supposed to do now. Not that I mind looking at him. I don't. But, what now?
"So, then, why did you follow me, besides to tell me that we aren't long-lost siblings?"
"I came out just to tell you that, and I had hoped it might let me convince you to come back with me to Mortals Landing." His expression changes subtly, and he swallows quickly, like he's nervous how I'll answer.
Even if I do love Talon, I’m not sure I want to go back to Mortals Landing. The thought startles me. Did I just admit to myself that I love him?
He steps up to me and wraps me in his bear-like arms, gazing down into my face. I never noticed before, but he has little golden speckles in his rich brown eyes. I could look at them for a long time, I think. I breathe deep, taking in his yummy scent. Suddenly, I'm hungrier than I've been in a long time.
My arms around his waist, I squeeze and rest my cheek on his shoulder. I'm the nervous one now. I don't want to hurt him with my answer.
"Well?" he asks, adjusting his balance a bit. "You don't have to answer, but I hope you know that I feel like there's a ray of sunshine now, thanks to you, and I don't want to lose you. It. I don't want to lose it."
I let out a little giggle and my heart beats faster at his words. "Here goes… I'm not sure. I—"
"Don't you want to come back with me? Forget Birka and Luna and all of that stuff. Just… come back. Do it for me and you."
"Of course I want to, but I can't go back. Not yet. I'm sorry, but I have to talk to my parents about this thing with Kasik. I need an explanation. Until I get one, I'm going to be stuck inside my own head and thinking about that, instead of about us." It’s not a lie, even if it is only half the truth. The bigger and better half, for sure.
"Closure," he replies with a frown and a subtle nod.
"Exactly. I can tell it bothers you, but I'm glad you understand. So, either way, it looks like I'm coming back to Mortals Landing eventually, but not yet, if only to be with you."
“Not yet,” he repeats with a frown and a short huff. But then he says, “I get it. When you have to know in order to get on with your life, then you have to know. It is what it is.”
After that, we stand there just looking at each other for a moment, and then he wraps me in another tight embrace and whispers into my ear, "I'll wait for you forever, if I have to."
His breath on my ear raises goosebumps and sends my heart racing, but I have to stay focused, even if I'm not looking forward to leaving these woods. I have a pretty good idea that all of my problems, my questions, and especially this new development between Talon and me will hit me like a ton of bricks once I'm away from my favorite tree in the world.
When we finally do walk away from the “inner-peace” tree so I can go talk to my mom, it's a poignant moment. I give the wondrous tree one last, wistful glance over my shoulder, then march back toward the vehicle, back toward real life in the real world. I wish I could stay there with Talon forever. For some reason, I am suddenly unsure whether we’ll ever come back here, at least not at the same time.
I brush the thought away, and then a constant stream of images of Talon and me plays through my mind on a loop, and I can’t help smiling again. Somehow, knowing there’s more to life and more to my future than just my experiences before today, I feel deeply comforted. The problems in my world are still out there, but those are tomorrow’s problems.
Today, I’m walking arm-in-arm with Talon and smiling idiotically. And loving it.
Chapter Nine
As we approach the unmarked pull-off from the highway that leads to the gate to Mortals Landing, I feel a mix of excitement and dread that makes me nauseated. It's not just about what I'll find out when I talk to my parents, but also about what kind of reception we'll get in the Landing. When I left, I was being accused of spying for Kasik first, then Luna, working against the Wraiths in some absurd, years-long conspiracy. Despite everything that has happened, everything I've done, Birka still doubts me. I might have been exiled in absentia, for all I know.
Talon pulls the SUV off the highway and down onto the landing with its amazing vista, but I don't have eyes for the view.
"You going to be okay?” he asks. “You know I won't let anything happen to you."
I glance at him, startled at my anger as I ask myself if that’s only because we're close now in a way I've never been before? I force a faint smile. "I know you won't," I say, and at least that's honest. Unless, of course, he's part of a conspiracy to use my abilities for personal gain…
No. While I tell myself I can think about that later, I doubt that will happen. I don't want to think about any of it, not now, later, or ever.
"C'mon," he says as he turns off the truck.
I follow him out and, to my happy surprise, he slides one arm around my waist, resting his hand on my hip, fingertips under my shirt hem so they touch bare skin. I nudge in closer to him. But far too quickly, we're at the portal itself, and we have to step apart to go through.
We're on the other side in seconds, once again in Mortals Landing. My heart thumps heavily in anticipation, but no guards rush to put me in chains or shove me back through the gateway.
One hurdle passed.
We grab a cab-like ball car and I realize I don't know where my parents are. "Talon, do you know where we need to go?"
He nods and types in an address. The self-driving ball whisks us into traffic, heading away from the towers and manors of the wealthiest Wraiths. Soon, we're in a different kind of neighborhood. Still exquisite, with large Tudor-style houses and mini-mansions, but with marble instead of gold, mahogany trim instead of silver. Their version of middle class, I suppose.
"Just ahead," he says, and on the window HUD display, a red circle appears over a long, tall building ahead. Another hotel, but less opulent. "I put them up here when we got them cleared and through orientation."
I nod, and smile. It was nice of him, though I expect no less for the parents of a guest as apparently important to them as I am. Or, if they're trying to use me, parents would make great hostages. I'm not even sure that's paranoid thinking at this point.
As soon as the bubble stops, I swing the circular door up and climb out. I’m desperate to get answers from Mom and Dad, but now that we've arrived, I want to get it done and over with. Whatever the truth is, I tell myself I can handle it. I can handle anything, according to some people around here, though I don't feel as resilient and brave as they make me out to be.
Inside, the hostel is immaculate, of course, and I go up to the cherry-wood register counter. A friendly-looking man behind the counter—a human, it seems—greets us. "Good day, miss. How can I be of assistance?"
Talon answers for me. "Elevator access for room three-oh-one, please."
The clerk's smiling face falls.
"What?" I ask, getting more nervous. Something feels wrong.
"I don't know how to inform the sir and ma'am of this n
ews…"
"Usually by speaking," I snap. His expression shifts again. Does he look like he's sorry for me? "Sorry. It's been a rough day, not your fault. The elevator, please?"
He shakes his head slightly, suddenly very interested in his monitor. I want to know why he won't meet my gaze.
"Very well. I shall simply 'spill it,' as some might say." His tone makes it clear he doesn't think much of whoever those people might be. Probably me. "The two occupants are no longer checked in."
I glance at Talon, but he looks startled, too. "Where did they go?" I ask, punctuating each word.
"Four gentlemen in blue suits went up without checking in at the desk first, and left ten minutes later with the room occupants. One of the gents explained they now had alternative quarters."
I stare at him, dumbfounded. None of it made sense. I don't think my parents even know people who wear suits.
He turns his nose up, looking down at me from that lofty position. "There is also the matter of their personal belongings. They left their clothing and other possessions, fouling up our room. I presume you will relieve me of the burden of finding a proper dumpster for the trash?"
The next second is a blur to me, but then my hand hurts and the register clerk is staggering back, holding his nose with both hands. I assume I just punched him. Oddly, I don't feel too badly about it.
He's hollering and wailing, so I say loud enough for him to hear me through his own noise, "You will hold onto that trash and treat it well, or I'll do much worse to you." Mimicking his tone of voice, I add, "I presume that much is clear enough for even you to understand?"
He nods his head and says, "Yeth!" several times, and I storm out. Talon doesn't follow me immediately, so I leave him behind. It might be my imagination, but I think the doorman has the hint of a smile as he opens the door for me. The cool outside air does little to cool me off, though. Frustrated, I pace back and forth near the door as I wait for Talon to come out. I'd love to storm off, but I'm angry, not stupid. He's my best chance to find my parents, knowing this place better than I do, after all.
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