by Piper Rayne
My heart is desperate to tell him, maybe you’re him. But I don’t because Jax clearly isn’t ready for any of that. “After that, I’m simple. I just want a comfortable, peaceful life.”
“House with a white picket fence?” he asks, arching one eyebrow.
I shake my head. “No, I don’t even care if I live here the rest of my life. I just want a good life, a happy one. One where we’re a team whether it be making dinner, or paying the bills, or raising a child. I just want someone on my team, someone as invested in our future as me. I think if I have that, the sex won’t disappear. And I for one still think bickering can lead to great make-up sex.”
“Because you’re a woman and like to romanticize everything.”
I point at him. “If you didn’t have my daughter right now...” I press my lips together and shake my head at him, suppressing my smile.
“C’mon now. Don’t forget that I know all your erogenous zones. Payback’s a bitch.”
“You only know three and what are you gonna do, leave me in a state of panting?”
“I guess you’ll find out if you finish that sentence.” He stretches and Jolie moves a bit. “Do you mind if I put her in bed?”
Hold on, ovaries, we’re going for a joyride. “Do I mind not having to pick up my daughter’s dead weight and carry her to bed? Have at it.”
He manages to get out of her hold and picks her up, then carries her down the hall. I follow and watch him turn down the covers and place them back over her.
“Nightlight?” he whispers, pointing to the rainbow light on the wall near her bed.
I nod and he flicks it on. As he leaves the room, I want to grab him by his shirt and pull him toward me. Tell him he’s got himself all wrong and he is a family man, just look at him. But I tried that with a different man before and all he brought with him was heartbreak. I can’t risk Jolie’s heart again. The next time has to be the real thing and whoever he is has to be fully invested in making it work.
Chapter Seventeen
Jax
* * *
I crack my neck outside Frankie’s apartment before I buzz up. The tie around my neck feels as if it’s suffocating me. Most of our friends are in the wedding though, so I’m just thankful I don’t have to wear a tuxedo.
“Hey, come on up,” Frankie’s voice comes through the speaker.
I take the elevator up and walk down the hall to find Jolie already in the hallway. She looks pretty in her silver dress with white tights and black shoes.
“Hey, shouldn’t you be inside?” I pick her up and take her back in the apartment. “You look beautiful.”
“The tights are itchy,” she says.
I put her down when we get inside. Gumdrop’s head peeks out from behind a corner and he comes over.
“Mommy says don’t pet him, he’ll get fur all over you.”
“Mommy doesn’t tell me what to do.” I wink at her.
Frankie comes out and says, “Be careful, I swear he’s losing his puppy coat or something.”
I glance over to say something sarcastic, but any words lodge in my throat when I get a look at her. Holy shit, she’s stunning.
A dark blue satin dress clings to all her curves and flows all the way to the floor. Her hair is swept to one side, and when she turns to grab something, I see that her tattooed back is shown off in all its glory. Nothing is more attractive to me than when a woman doesn’t hide her ink but picks out something that makes the art an accessory to her outfit.
I stand, ignoring Gumdrop’s whines. Frankie puts on her heels, making her only a couple inches shorter than me.
“Doesn’t Mommy look beautiful?” Jolie says. “Like a princess.”
“Oh, Jolie, Jax doesn’t like princesses.” Frankie smiles at me.
“Who doesn’t like princesses?” Jolie asks.
Frankie shrugs. “Are we ready? We better get going since we have to take the train into the city.”
“Let’s go.”
Once they both have their jackets on, I open up the door and Frankie tells Gumdrop that Grandma Sandy will be coming to let him out in a little bit. As if that will prevent him from pissing everywhere while she’s gone.
We take the elevator down and file out of her apartment building to where our Uber sits waiting. No way we’re taking the train dressed as if we’re going to the opera.
“It’s going to cost a fortune,” Frankie says after Jolie’s already crawled inside.
“It’s my treat and stop thinking about money all the time.”
We file in and the car ride takes about as long as the train ride, but Jolie’s fascinated as we pass all the cities along the highway. As the buildings grow higher, her eyes grow bigger. We arrive in Brooklyn and pull up in front of a church with guests outside, all in fancy dresses and suits. A big Catholic wedding indeed.
After the ceremony, Grandma Sandy is coming in to get Jolie and take her home while Frankie and I stay for the reception. What would we do without Grandma Sandy?
“There are so many people,” Frankie says as we walk up the stairs.
Jolie comes between us, taking each of our hands. I’m not immune to the lingering stares at us. We walk in and grab programs, then we find Evan, Kamea, and Adrian in a pew toward the back, so we join them.
“Big wedding is an understatement,” I say to Adrian.
“This is half the size Sierra’s and mine will be if we get married in Sandsal. Which is why I fully intend on eloping.” He laughs.
“If I ever got married, it might be the courthouse for me,” I say.
Kamea rolls her eyes. “I thought you were never getting married?”
“And why the courthouse?” Evan asks.
“Because I don’t care about the wedding. If I wanted to spend my life with someone, I sure as hell wouldn’t need a bunch of people there to witness.”
“Always going against the grain.” Kamea looks over at Frankie. “I love your dress.”
“Thanks,” she says. “Yours too.”
“That’s the youngest brother,” Evan says, pointing at a guy walking up the aisle after escorting someone down. “He’s the real estate broker.”
As if the guy knows they’re talking about him, he winks. I’ve only met Blanca’s brothers twice. They’re cool guys, though they weren’t what I was expecting when I heard they were loaded.
Carm—if I remember correctly—stops and puts out his hand to me. “Hey, Jax.” After I shake his hand, he moves on to Adrian. “How’s the prince?”
“Ah, not for much longer,” Adrian says.
“Ladies.” He winks again and leaves as Evan sighs.
“I’m going to tell Seth you’re crushing on Blanca’s brothers,” I say down the pew.
Then a tall thin woman comes up to Carm and he embraces her, his hand squeezing her ass.
“That’s his wife,” Adrian tells her.
“Of course. She’s gorgeous,” Evan says.
Which she is, but she’s not really my type.
“When is it going to start?” Jolie asks, getting down from the pew and lowering the foot riser.
“No, Jolie.” Frankie leans forward and puts her hand on Jolie’s arm.
But Jolie continues to do it. Other than the fact she’s crushing my foot, I don’t really see the harm in it.
What feels like a lifetime later, the music begins, and Ethan, Dylan, Knox, Seth, and Blanca’s brothers all stand at the front.
“That’s the oldest brother, then the middle one on the end,” Evan tells Kamea as if she’s in charge of the Mancini family tree.
The doors open, and Jolie gets up on her knees on the pew to get a better view. In walks who I believe is Dom’s wife, Val, holding hands with a little girl as she tosses flowers. The girl is going so slowly, we’re going to be here a long time. Dom walks to the front of the row to get her attention, but the girl doesn’t care. Eventually Val picks her up and tosses the rose petals before handing the little girl to Dom.
Next comes
Carm’s wife, then Enzo’s wife, who is pregnant. And then two other women I don’t know, followed by Rian then Sierra. After the bridal party is up front, the music changes, the doors open, and in walks Blanca with her dad.
“Oohs” and “aahs” ring out through the church. She smiles, and I look at Ethan. I don’t know him nearly as well as the other guys, but his smile says he’s happy as shit. All the stress I’ve seen them go through during this entire planning process of a big wedding, and it all comes down to this moment.
Blanca stares at Ethan through her veil, and the closer she comes to him, the more fidgety he becomes.
“They’re so cute,” Frankie whispers.
When Blanca reaches the end of the aisle, her dad raises her veil, kisses her cheek, and Ethan takes her hand. We all sit down, and the priest begins the ceremony.
What none of us were prepared for was the mass that comes before the wedding, and Jolie grows more and more impatient the longer it goes on. The riser is up and down, and she pokes the lady in front of us, which seems to mortify Frankie.
“I’m going to take her out,” Frankie whispers.
But I hold Frankie’s hand to keep her in place. She’s probably enjoying this a lot more than me anyway.
“Let’s go, Jolie,” I whisper, take her hand, and walk her out of the church.
“Is it over?” she asks.
“No, but you’re being disruptive, so we’re going to chill out here until it’s done.”
“Weddings are boring.” Jolie jumps down the hallway and I let her do it. She needs to burn off some energy.
A minute later, Dom comes out of the side entrance holding his daughter. He lowers her to the floor, and she walks over to Jolie, who introduces herself.
“Hey, Jax, right?” he says, shaking my hand.
“Hey, how are things?”
He shrugs. “Busy. I always wondered how a kid would affect my work life.”
From the little I’ve heard Blanca talk about her brothers, Dom is by far the biggest workaholic out of all of them.
“Yeah, and?”
“It’s more the whole family thing. First, we went through the whole crying thing at night and I never got any sleep. And then she was teething, then she was scared and had to sleep with us. Great for the sex life. Now she’s finally sleeping in her own bed, but we can’t go out to dinner or anywhere else because she’s too fussy to sit still. Hence why I’m out here with you.” He chuckles. He must notice Jolie for the first time. “Is she yours?”
“Nah, just a friend’s.”
“I was going to say, it got you too, huh?”
“It?” I ask.
“Cupid’s arrow. For me, it wasn’t really a surprise. I’ve loved Val almost my entire life, I just thought that…” He shakes his head. “Today’s about love, right?” He squeezes my shoulder. “It takes some of us a while to get our heads out of our asses.”
You’re telling me this guy didn’t have his shit together at some point? The man comes from a great family, has two parents who love him and a million other relatives. Mr. Holder is trying to find one relative to tell me if cancer runs in my family. My insecurities are justified; his aren’t.
“I just didn’t want to want for anything, and I felt like working my ass off was the answer. Turns out once I had all the money, I wanted a family to share it with. And that’s a lot harder to get than money, let me tell you.”
I nod, not interested in talking about this. Everyone comes out of foster care with a different view of life. I’ve never yearned for a family like Dylan did. I wanted safety, independence, and my freedom. Which I have. So why don’t I feel totally fulfilled?
The doors open and Blanca and Ethan walk out, not even noticing Dom and me. They walk over to another room, and at the door, Ethan places his hands on her cheeks and kisses her like he probably wanted to in there. I watch like a peeping tom, sharing a moment that’s none of my business. But their happiness is alluring, and it makes me think that maybe nothing could ever come between them.
As everyone files out, I snag Jolie from getting trampled and Dom grabs his daughter. Val comes by, and she and Dom laugh about once again being unable to enjoy something together since he had to take their daughter out.
“You remember Jax?” Dom says to his wife.
She leans forward, shaking my hand. “I guess they kept each other busy, huh?” She smiles at Jolie. Then they get pulled away by family members.
Frankie comes over. “Thanks.”
“No problem.”
“I’m going to call Sandy and see where she’s at. I might have to walk Jolie down to the train.”
“Come on, I’ll go with you.” I’m not interested in sticking around here. I’d rather make sure Jolie gets on the train safely with Sandy.
“Are you sure?” Frankie asks. “I can meet you later.”
I place my hand on the small of her back. “I’m positive.”
We leave the church, Jolie blowing the bubbles that would’ve been blown had we waited for Blanca and Ethan to leave the church. Frankie shivers next to me since she has a thin dress jacket on, so I shrug off my jacket and put it over her shoulders.
“Jax,” she says.
I shake my head. “Let me do this one chivalrous thing,” I say, and she lets it go.
We reach the train, and Sandy is already there, waiting to get Jolie.
“We’ll let Gumdrop out, then sleepover at Grandma’s,” Sandy says to Jolie, who is bouncing with excitement. “You’ll make sure she gets home safely?” Sandy asks me.
This is the first time I’ve wondered if it’s weird for Sandy to see Frankie and me together. I mean, we’re not a couple, or even on a date, but her son was with Frankie. They have a child together. Does Sandy hold any bitterness toward the fact that Frankie isn’t with him anymore?
I nod. “She’s safe with me.”
She smiles, and we hug Jolie goodbye.
“Let’s go to the reception,” Frankie says.
“We have at least an hour. Do you think you can handle a drink before an open bar? I don’t want to have to strip you down and shower you again.”
Her finger pokes my ribs. “Stop it.”
“I warned you. Try to tickle me and you’ll be feeling my scruff between your thighs.”
She says nothing, but her cheeks practically glow red.
And now I’m getting a hard-on. Jesus, why do I do this to myself?
Chapter Eighteen
Frankie
* * *
After stopping for a drink at a bar, we arrive at the reception a tad late. Most everyone is already seated at their designated tables, so I grab our names and we head to the table with Evan, Kamea, Adrian, and a few of Blanca’s high school friends.
We eat our meal amid polite conversation, and after we’re done, the group disperses as if we were all chained there.
“I’m going to the restroom,” I say before ducking out of the large ballroom and into the hallway.
In the bathroom, I pretend to put on my lipstick when really, I’m giving myself a mental pep talk. Every nerve in my body is magnetically surging toward Jax and I need to get these hormones under control before I embarrass myself and throw myself at him. After I’ve centered myself, I walk back to the ballroom. Not finding Jax anywhere, I head to the bar and get myself a club soda with lime. I’m playing it safe tonight. Throwing up on the train would top that night at Jax’s.
Leaving the bartender a tip, I look across the room to try to spot someone I know. That’s when I see Jax laughing with some girl. Okay, jealousy should not stab me with the force of a thousand knives—he’s not mine—but it does anyway. All we have is a budding friendship. He thinks of commitment like a double life sentence.
Evan comes up to my side. “Who is that?”
“I don’t know,” I say.
“Jeez, could she touch more?”
Kamea joins us. “I think she works here. She’s wearing the same outfit as the waitstaff.”
“Oh wait,” Evan says and points. “Knox knows her.”
Sure enough, Knox goes up to her and hugs her, smiling.
Kamea doesn’t move. She’s just as transfixed as I am. Though she has reason to be. Knox is her boyfriend. Jax is my… nothing.
The three of them talk like long-lost friends until another waitress tugs on her sleeve and she waves goodbye, disappearing through the kitchen doors. Knox and Jax talk for a moment until they look around, so the girls and I all huddle as if we weren’t just gawking at them.
“Hey, ladies,” Knox says, putting his arm around Kamea’s waist and kissing her neck.
“Hey.” She’s sweet, not an ounce of jealousy in her tone.
Kudos to her.
“I was going to get you a drink,” Jax says, nodding at the glass in my hand.
I raise it. “Got one.”
“I see that.” He narrows his eyes at me.
“What?”
“You okay?” he asks, tilting his head.
I nod, probably a little too much to pull off it being nothing. “Yeah, I’m great. It’s a beautiful night.”
Evan laughs because I’m totally laying it on too thick and need to pull it back a notch.
The night continues, Blanca and Ethan have their first dance, he dances with his mom, she dances with her dad, and they cut the cake. They throw the garter and the bouquet, which thankfully neither Jax nor I catch. I’m pretty sure neither of us was really trying though.
A slow song plays, and to my surprise, Jax holds out his hand. “Want to dance?”
“You dance?” I ask, surprised.
“Yes, I dance.” He doesn’t allow me to answer but takes my hand and guides me onto the dance floor.
Jax takes me in his arms, his fingers sliding under the strings that tie at the back of my dress. My skin heats and my nipples pebble under the silk of my dress. Being surrounded by his heat, in his arms, the feel of his breath on the side of my face—all it does is ratchet up the need I’m already feeling for him.